Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by chloeyyy123
Name: Chloe Yang
Joined: Sep 11, 2019
Last Post: Nov 2, 2019
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
From: Taiwan

Displayed posts: 8
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chloeyyy123   
Nov 2, 2019
Writing Feedback / Some people think that the modern life provides us a great number of choices [2]

Hi there, I am wondering if my body paragraphs has clearly convey the main idea in this essay, it would be grateful of you to give me some advice, thank you!

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.


To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


According to some people's thought, they believe that the modern life provides us a great number of choices, and I completely agree with that since this e-generation and cutting edge technology has endowed people with substantial resources.

In this modern society, the Internet has bring us much convenience. It enrich our life in many aspects, and abundantly offers us information. In the past, we can only watch dramas and movies through the television. The amount of TV programmes are limited, so there are only fixed channels we can watch. However, thanks to new technology, now we can choose whatever we want to watch on the Internet, as a bunch of videos are available online, such as Netflix, YouTube and other video platform.

As technology bring us many choices, the massive information has disturb options of people when making decisions and causes some disadvantages. In order to attract people, some websites provide illegal films for free, so that they do not have to pay money going to cinema but watching the same movie. As a consequence, it can say that convenient technology boost the growth of private films. Another drawback is that due to numerous of choices, people spend too much time in this virtual world, and put less time and effort in the reality. This may cause several serious problems, like decreasing the efficiency when doing things in the real world, or ignoring things that we human should actually pay attention to.

In conclusion, there is no doubt in my mind that we have so much options in this era. Those choices have bring us a lot of convenience, but if we cannot utilize them carefully, we may be overwhelmed in those explosive information.
chloeyyy123   
Oct 29, 2019
Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task 2: world hunger problem [4]

I think your conclusion is not strong enough to show all of your aspect in the essay, you can put more information you wrote in the second paragraph such as the resource distribution issue in the last paragraph to make your conclusion more clear. Overall, you gave some good solutions to the problem!
chloeyyy123   
Oct 22, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING about the circus popularity [5]

Overall you did a clear job of describing your opinion, I am convinced by your reasons. Here is an advice I want to give you, try using more transition words instead of the word "first, second", it'll make your essay more flexible.
chloeyyy123   
Oct 17, 2019
Writing Feedback / Dwellers of residences - percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation [3]

households owning and renting accommodation



The chart shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.


The diagram indicates the comparison of households in owned and rented residence in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

Overall, the percentage of households owning accommodation goes upward, but those renting homes goes in the opposite way. In 1971, people who owned and rented houses had an equal proportions.

Before 1971, dwellers who rented residence has a higher percentage than those who owned. In 1918, we can see that families living in rented homes had overtook almost 60% from people living in owned. The rented trend goes downward, but the households-in-owned trend raised. 1971 remarks the point at which households in owned and rented had a same percentage.

After 1971, the trend totally differed from the earlier time. The percentage of people who owned their house increased while households in rented dwellings slumped. Comparing families owned accommodation with rented, owned house raise slightly by 5%, and a corresponding fell in rented homes between 2001 and 2011. The biggest difference in percentage of owning and renting accommodation was in 2001, which owning houses was 38% higher.



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chloeyyy123   
Oct 3, 2019
Writing Feedback / Should schools be entertaining or educating? [4]

For me, it is a little bit short for the third paragraph. Maybe you can try to emphasize more about your core statement instead of give examples only. Nevertheless, you did good job on describing your main idea.
chloeyyy123   
Sep 11, 2019
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2: To speak a foreign language abroad - the life in a foreign land [3]

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


adaptation to the foreign reality



In this globalized society, many people migrate to foreign country. They may feel challenging with speaking foreign language. While I do admit that this could be a problem for the first few weeks, in my opinion, however, their ability will be improved by putting a lot of efforts.

There is no doubt in my mind that it would be difficult for people to converse with locals without using their mother tongue. Meanings expression correctly is a worry, besides, language misunderstanding is also a problem. Apart from this, work is another salient issue. If people are in a lack of the language, most of the situations is that they cannot apply high-paid jobs. Those problems can further influence mental health, including heavy stress and depression.

Nevertheless, I do believe that foreign language can be learnt as long as putting effort. In addition, when people stay in an environment full of the language, it can force them to learn it quickly. The reason is that people are scared when they are in an unfamiliar place, so they would tend to adapt in the new environment quickly. This would give them a motivation learning foreign language. Furthermore, there are over 70% people can speak English in the world. Even when you are in the countries that are less people use English, such as Japan, China or Korea. You can still find people who can speak and even express what they want to say in English. As a result, there is no need to worry about those problems in a long term.

In conclusion, I only partly agree with the statement in question. Although people would face some problems when they are using foreign language in other countries, but if they try hard to learn, they can overcome those difficulties.
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