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Posts by xtunx
Name: Diep Tran
Joined: Feb 20, 2020
Last Post: Mar 20, 2020
Threads: 4
Posts: 9  
Likes: 6
From: Viet Nam
School: Economics

Displayed posts: 13
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xtunx   
Mar 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / DEVELOPING COUNTRIES AND ADVANCED COUNTRIES ON THE ENVIRONMENT ( IELTS TASK 2 ) [2]

Dealing with the climate change



Task 2:
Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
.

In recent years, as global warming has been receiving a great deal of media attention, the question of what each country can do has become more prominent. Many people think that all countries are equally responsible for preventing climate change. By contrast, others are convinced that advanced countries have a greater responsibility for this. Although I am in favor of the former opinion, this essay will discuss both views.

There are two compelling reasons for the belief of regarding advanced countries as having greater responsibility than developing countries among people. One of the reasons is those countries have tremendous source of money and advanced installation, which developing countries cannot facilitate. As a matter of fact, due to this substantial economic as well as technological potentials, developed countries are the most likely to invest in this issue. The other reason is that non-advanced countries often have a plethora of other severe issues, including poverty. Due to this indubitable fact, many people make this as an excuse to avoid looking into climate change seriously.

Nevertheless, it could be argued that every country must take action to alleviate climate change. We must consider the fact that most pollutants come from developing countries. For instance, in 2018, the proportion of emissions in China was so high that it was even blown to American countries and caused severe repercussions on the atmosphere. Furthermore, only by sharing responsibility in this environmental combat could we gain the most positive outcome. In fact, if every country invests carefully in environmental issues within its territory, global warming will no longer be a concern for the whole humankind.

In conclusion, it is my firm belief that all countries should equally take part in protecting the environment we are living in. Only by that, climate change would diminish and no longer become a threat to the humankind.
xtunx   
Mar 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / Task 2 IELTS TENDENCY TO WASTE FOOD [7]

@potatowee
Sorry not until now could I reply your feedback. I have not been around here for a while and I've just come back. Thank you for your kind and considerate feedbacks. I really appreciate it. I'll look into it carefully. Thank you again <3
xtunx   
Feb 29, 2020
Writing Feedback / Task 2 IELTS TENDENCY TO WASTE FOOD [7]

Task 2:
Nowadays, it seems that people tend to waste a great amount of food.

Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?



In recent years, the prevalence of food wasted has been an increasing concern due to its substantial impact on human life as well as the environment. To put a halt to this situation, this essay will initially attempt to pinpoint the causes for food waste and subsequently offer some actionable solutions.

There are two underlying explanations for the tendency towards wasting food nowadays. One of the reasons is that food is more straightforward to afford. Since the average income as well as food productivity increases, affording food daily no longer imposes a burden on most families. The second reason for food squandering can be attributable to the mass fear of food-poisoning. In fact, a myriad of families tend to dispose food before the expiry date while it is completely edible.

Nevertheless, there are also a number of solutions to alleviate this issue. Firstly, people could voluntarily aid in food-rescue organizations. These organizations are set up to reduce the food wastage resulting from pre-expiry date disposal in big supermarkets by collecting them and giving out to the underprivileged. Secondly, the government could publish policies to ensure the quality of food on the market. By this way, faulty food would no longer be a concern for people.

In conclusion, affordability and mass misconception about food poisoning are two main factors attributed to large amount of food squandered. To mitigate these, it is recommended that food-rescue organizations be assisted . Furthermore, governors could ensure food safety by publishing reasonable policies.
xtunx   
Feb 29, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - What can people do to discourage increasing car ownership in big cities? [5]

In the last 10 years, many families in Vietnam have been able to purchase an expensive private vehicle like car, whereas most households in the past relied heavily on the use of a cheaper mode of transportation, such as motorbike Personally, I think this statement does a little bit lighten your argument. In fact, you've mentioned Vietnam as a developing country. Therefore, in some way, you've made readers believe that car ownership hasn't actually increased RAPIDLY

Furthermore in your second body part, instead of using the word this , you should write the whole. E.g: "augmented car ownership " or at least, let it be " this trend" ," this phenomenon" ,...

"In addition, some cities in the world, such as Seoul, have been popular for their solid public transportation system, reducing number of private vehicles on the road and avoiding traffic jam" I think this is an example so you should've given another statement/solution before.

Overall, in my opinion, you've done a great job. Your grammar, word choices and ideas are very good. I actually admire you very much.
xtunx   
Feb 28, 2020
Writing Feedback / Computers play a really important role since they were invented in the last century [3]

In this essay, I think you've opened a new discussion which is " Why we should not replace them in every activities " without giving enough details to strengthen your opinion. Instead, you've explained this opinion in your last paragraph, which is supposed to be the CONCLUSION of the WHOLE essay.

Furthermore, in the last essay, I can't see the relation you've drawn between computers and those aspects. Especially last sentence, "sharing anything publicly" doesn't mean we have to share them on computer. It can be on the road, on the social media, ... and stuff. Personally, I do understand what you aim to say. Having said that, in a writing task, you must make everything clear to readers and the examiners. Every sentence must be bonded and be clear.

As for me, you haven't completely restate the original topic. Bcuz play a really important role doesn't mean most important . And as I've said, you 've opened a new discussion

In your essay, you do have few grammar mistakes and sentence structures too. Therefore, you should put more effort on this.

Last but not least, your paragraphs in the body have problems too. Each paragraph should include at least 3 sentences . Yours seems to be too short; therefore, little information will be given

However, I think you do have great idea. It's just about the way you explain them. Just try your best and keep working. GOOD LUCK !
xtunx   
Feb 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: environment, energy, ecology [4]

I must say that the Intro doesn't get to me very much. To make it clearer, perhaps you should change the first sentence a little bit bcuz alternative sources of energy ( wind energy and solar energy) are not fuels. Therefore, the coherence between sen 1 and sentence 2 is not very good.

"Whether" should go with "or" and the verb go after it must be in third place, which is " is a controversial issue".

The 1st sentence of the second paragraph has a mistake too that for the environment ; sources of green ; exploitation of people => exploitation BY people

In fact, there are so so so so so many things going on with your grammar, wich are sentence structure, collocations, choices of words, .... so I won't point out any of them anymore. You have to look into this carefully and figure it out by yourself

So let's look at others problems in your writing. Remember each paragraph should include at least 3 sentences, especially the body ( which should include 5 sentences to the best of my knowledge). Moreover, if you'are going to give an example , don't just give us and leave it there. In this case, you did explain it but in a complicated and it's really hard to understand

In summary, what really makes it EXTREMELY difficult to understand your essay is your grammar. Remember this simple structure : S+V . Don't forget verb and " IS" is a verb too. Furthermore it's the word choice. Don't just translate every thing from your native language into English. Every language is different. And you should spend more time in ur brain storming stage too.

Having said that, you did sit at the table write a essay in spite of those mistakes. GOOD JOB! Just try to improve day after day and believe in urself. GOOD LUCK
xtunx   
Feb 22, 2020
Writing Feedback / Task 2 IELTS famous brand purchase tendency [3]

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

the "brand effect"



In recent years, there has been a discernibly growing tendency to purchase products of well-known brands around the world. This essay will help shed a light on the reasons behind this phenomenon and draw a personal conclusion about whether it is a good or bad one.

There are two underlying explanations for mass need of famous brand items. The first reason is due to the extravagant public advertising of these brands. By virtue of having a stable economic foundation, these companies are able to direct large expenditure on hiring celebrities, television commercials, ... which may stimulate herd mentality and snob effects. By way of illustration, a product which turns out to be utilized by an idol would soon be sold out owing to excessive purchases from his fans. Furthermore, modern generations by nature always thrive for recognition. They tend to believe that possessing these products could make them fashionable and popular amongst their peers.

Although people hold various viewpoints about this phenomenon, I am of the opinion that this is a bad trend. Affording these renowned brand products often requires an enormous expenditure. This means that people are encouraged to squander their money which should be spent on more important circumstances. Moreover, from a perspective of economics, this trend also deprives infant start-ups of the chance to gain popularity.

In conclusion, more and more renowned brand purchases results from excessive advertising of the company and mass desire for recognition. In light of aforementioned points, it is my firm belief that this is a bad phenomenon which has repercussions for not only each individual but also the whole economy.
xtunx   
Feb 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: prevent climate change or find a way to live with it [2]

Your essay is quite clear, however, it is still lack of attractiveness and conviction to readers in your overall argument.

In the first paragraph, you have missed to point out that climate change affect DIRECTLY to people's health, which is a pity. I would recommend to put some examples and ideas related to this such as: more people are dying because the global warming; respiratory-related syndromes are becoming more and more common among people.

And this is just my PERSONAL OPINION that I think your sentences are quite too short. Perhaps, you should add more information to it by using Relative clause or some other kind. It's such a pity because I think your examples are quite short so they can't make an striking impression, which is a " should"

A tiny little mistake in grammar is that " So " is an adverb connecting to clause not to start a sentence

Overall, I can see your effort and your logic. It's impressive that there is very few grammar mistakes. GOOD JOB !!!
xtunx   
Feb 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / In the modern world, there is a movement away from written exams to more practical assessment [4]

You may have got some ideas.Unfortunately, I have to say that there are a lot of grammar mistakes. For example :"it's" at the first paragraph.( and so on ). And personally, I think you shouldn't write " with flying color" because it brings like a "idiom" feeling towards .

In the second sentence of the 2nd paragraph, instead of using simple future tens, you had better use simple present

And there are some logical errors in your arguement in your second parapraph . For example, there is a tendency of practical assessment doesn't particularly means that underdeveloped countries are forced to follow this trend. You haven't explain this but in ur paragraph, you believe that this trend will affect these countries. However, in my opinion, it's absolutely their choice to make. Furthermore, you doesn't explain why this trend " require high-qualified teacher " is a downside. Because what's worth mentioning is that by bring up the standard requirement for a teacher to be qualified does mean that these teachers are more experienced and consequently, is an absolute good thing to do. REMEMBER THIS IS ONLY MY PERSONAL OPINION

One point I'd like to make is that you should seperate your ideas clearly. If in the first paragraph, you choose to talk about benefits so let the 2nd be about disadvantages. You kind of mix these things together.

What is more, a comma and a dot can bring a major change to ur essay so don't let them be underused. And you have made some mistakes with your capitalize too.

This is what I personally think. Hope it can help you someway....
xtunx   
Feb 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / Is it necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains? [5]

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion


task 2 IELTS - railway lines vs existing transport



The public discourse has been of two viewpoints about the superior way to spend on public transportation, one of which holds a preference for constructing high-speed railway lines between cities, whereas the other is in favor of developing current public systems of vehicles. Engrained in this essay is my partial agreement on both views.

There are a myriad of reasons why a multitude of people are convinced by directing large expenditure to construct high-speed railway lines. In Vietnam context, current public vehicles, for instance buses, do not satisfy mass requirements due to their poor and downgraded facilities, which have lasted for decades. Hence, it is high time that a new form of transportation should be adopted to attract majority's interests. High-speed trains not only meet this demand but also require a short amount of time and produces less pollution as well. However, this constructing progress requires an enormous amount of money and can be risky at the very first stages, therefore, takes a long time to be ready for mass application.

Nevertheless, others are completely against and recommend improving existing transport. It is argued that these vehicles are inexpensive and beneficial for large scale usage by citizens. Furthermore, reconstructing these would still attract people's interests in a more reasonable way. In addition to affordability, this would encourage people to use public transportation. Yet these forms of travel would not be as conducive as high-speed trains in long-distance journey.

In conclusion, spending a large amount of money whether on fast trains or existing transport both have merits and downsides. Having considered this, I firmly believe that the government should invest equally in the fast rail system and existing public transportation.
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