Writing Feedback / Production and consumption of GM foods Argumentative Essay. [2]

Hi, this essay was just an exercise I did as practice. As I would be having an upcoming english argumentative essay soon.
I was wondering, is there any tips you have for me to better prep myself for the test ?
Let me know what you think of my essay.

Looking forward to any reply. Thank you.

Topic: Genetically-modified foods (GM foods) have been harshly criticised by many food activists. On the other hand, many advocates have supported the production and consumption of GM foods.

Which view do you agree with?

Side note: Text A, Text B are just essays that I had to refer to based on the exercise question that I did.

Word limit : 500-600 words

Essay:

Genetically-modified foods (GM foods) are created from organisms where their DNA has been altered unnaturally. The use of GM foods helps in the increase of food production, mostly in crops. The use of GM food is important not just today but for the coming future. With an ever-increasing population, that is expected to reach nine billion by 2050. It is important to look for new sources such as GM foods that aid in increasing food production that can help to food more mouths. Though there are food activists that are against the use of GM foods due to its potential health risks, studies show that they are more associated with animals and not much to humans(Text A). Such arguments brought from food activities are thus inconclusive.

I support the production and consumption of GM foods. I reason on how the production of GM foods not only increases food production to meet the demands of the global population but it can bring about health benefits as well.

Increasing Food production is essential in meeting the demands of a growing global population. Before the production of GM foods. Farmers suffer from crop loss due to insect pests. Farmers would have to use pesticides and fertilisers to fight against insects and to help increase crop production. The use of pesticides and fertilisers are not only costly but are hazardous to human health and can cause harm to the environment. Farmers would even have to increase their prices of crops to market. However, the use of GM foods can aid in reducing farmers' costs and eliminate the use of toxic pesticides. From Text B, "Growing GM foods such as larva-resistant corn can help eliminate the application of chemical pesticides and reduce the cost of bringing crop to market." The use of GM foods not only reduces framers' costs, but it also eliminates the use of chemical pesticides. Thus, allowing farmers to have an increase in their crop production and also able to deliver safe food to an ever-increasing global population for consumption.

With the use of GM foods, not only does it help increase production to meet the demands of the growing global population. The consumption of GM foods can bring about health benefits to the many. In third world nations, many rely solely on rice as their main staple. It does not even provide enough nutrients for their diet, thus leading them to be malnourished. However, with GM foods, it can be modified to provide additional vitamins to their diet. From Text B, 'Researchers at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology have created a strain of "golden" rice containing an unusually high content of beta- carotene (Vitamin A). ' The use of 'golden' rice can thus save many lives that are malnourished. Hence, with such GM foods, many people who are malnourished due to lack of vitamins in their diet, consumption of GM foods can aid in providing adequate vitamins for their dietary needs.

In summary, despite what food activists argue on the inconclusive studies on the potential health risks that GM foods bring to human, My view is that the consumption of GM foods should be decided by the consumer. GM foods should be labelled, allowing consumers to be aware that what they are consuming is GM food. There is no denying that with the production of GM foods, more crops could be brought to market, which would be sold thanks to the high demands of the ever-increasing global population, With the production of GM foods, those who consume it would gain health benefits, especially for those whose diet is malnourished.

(599 Words)

Writing Feedback / Is online schooling as effective as in-class education ? [3]

Hi I did this as a simple essay exercise, there isn't really any word limit.

Topic:

Is online schooling as effective as in-class education ?

Does my points seem confusing ?
How could I improve my vocabulary and make my stance stronger ?
Thank you once again :)

Essay:

In the past couple of months due to COVID-19, Schools all around the world had to be closed for the safety of students and school staff. Despite the closures of schools, they have transitioned to an online classroom setting where teachers can still continue to conduct their classes online with students at the comfort and safety of their homes. This transition however raises the questions, is online schooling as effective as in-class education ?

My answer to the question is no. Online schooling is not as effective as in-class education. I will argue two points why. Firstly,I will argue that the environment of in-class provides a better learning experience as compared to online schooling. Secondly, I will also argue that due to online schooling, this makes it tough for teachers to ensure that students do not cheat on their tests.

In a classroom setting environment, teachers would be conducting their lessons while students would take notes and pay attention. In such an environment, students would not be distracted with other things as opposed to being at home having online schooling. At home, students can easily be distracted by their mobile phones as they go through social media sites while the teacher is conducting the online class. One may object however that if students were to have their phones confiscated by their parents, or social media sites blocked, it may solve the issue. However, this would only remove one of many distractions while having online classrooms in a home environment. Thus, a classroom setting would be more ideal for students to focus on school work without any distractions and in an environment that promotes learning.

With online schooling, teachers have to find new ways for tests to be conducted to assess students understanding of subjects being taught. In a classroom setting, while tests are being conducted, teachers would walk around to ensure students would not be communicating with one another or other means of cheating. However, in an online classroom, teachers are unable to ensure that students would not cheat for their tests. All the teachers can ensure from the students is their integrity in not cheating. If a students does cheat and the teacher does not suspect, the student would be assessed unfairly. Such students would struggle more in higher learning and teachers would not be able to help them as they assumed they would know the topics better since they did 'well' for their tests. Some may argue that there are anti-cheat softwares on computers to ensure and check students' work and ensure no plagiarism was done. However such software are not full-proof, students could still find other means of cheating. For example, if a test was multiple choice questions, students many use their phones to take a picture of a question and message friends or seniors for answers. However if such a case were to happen in a classroom setting, the student would be caught and disciplined accordingly.

To sum up, a classroom setting provides a distraction-free environment ensuring students can have a better learning experience as compared to a home-based online classroom setting with full of distractions. In such online classroom setting, it makes it challenging for teachers to ensure that students do not cheat for their tests as opposed to an in-class setting where students can be easily monitored. Thus concluding my points that, online schooling is not as effective as in-class education.

Writing Feedback / Essay - "The main role of the school is to train students to pass examinations" Do you agree ? [3]

Hi to all, this is my first time posting on this site. Do let me know what you think and please advise if I posted this wrongly. Thank you again and looking forward to all your feedbacks.

Students are trained how to pass exams

In schools, teachers have to ensure that students pass or do well in their exams, as the results are representations of the student's understanding or I dare say their memory of the subject. But is the main role of the school for students to pass their exams ? In this essay, I argue that it is not.

School is a place for students where they can learn different subjects, participate in co-curricular activities (CCAs), socialise and learn on how to become good citizens of society. Passing exams is just one criteria in order for students to move up to the next level. School is also a safe place for parents to drop off their children so that they can do their own work or chores while knowing their child is in safe hands. Schools offer many CCAs where students can socialise and perhaps find a talent or a passion they never thought that had

There have been cases where there are certain students who did poorly in their exams but later in life, they did exceptionally well for themselves. They are labelled as 'late-bloomers', and I myself am a late bloomer. Since young, I always had a passion for Information Technology, but my primary and secondary school never offered any subjects related to coding. I did badly for my PSLE and 'O' Levels exams, and I barely got into the course of my choice in a polytechnic. I was given many opportunities that has helped me further pursue my passion. And aside from doing well in my exams, I did well in many other activities such as in competitions, CCAs and presentations. I was even thus, awarded the honour of being valedictorian for my school.

Passing exams shouldn't solely be the main role for schools. Passing a subject simply indicates to the teacher, the student's level of understanding of the topic. Schools are beyond just exams, it is a safe haven for students to grow holistically and nature themselves, hence enabling them to be better prepared for the future that lies ahead.