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Posts by keithkwan14
Name: Keith Kwan
Joined: Jul 18, 2020
Last Post: Jul 27, 2020
Threads: 3
Posts: 5  
From: Hong Kong

Displayed posts: 8
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keithkwan14   
Jul 27, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems, is this +ve/-ve ? [4]

@Holt
Thanks for the advice.

What if i change the 1 paragraph as below, can it make my response paragraphs make sense to the prompt?
When suffering from health issues, many people tend to explore on the Internet for possible solutions. However, personally I believe it is a negative trend and seeking for formal medical advices should be the correct act to do instead.
keithkwan14   
Jul 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems, is this +ve/-ve ? [4]

Some people use the Internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or negative development?

Give your own opinion and examples from your experience.



When suffering from health issues, many people tend to explore on the Internet for possible solutions. However, personally I believe seeking for formal medical advices should be the correct act to do instead.

On the one hand, due to the tremendous amount of free information available in the digital world, many people can now search online for suitable treatments according to the symptoms they are suffering. In some series cases it might be feasible as certain useful solutions can always be found. For example, putting a cold towel on forehead can help in case of fever to certain extent. Some people, therefore, tend to believe Internet information, as long as it is not a medicine intake to the body, can help lessen their symptoms to certain extent.

On the other hand, however, some argue that surfing online for medical advice is very risky because it is inevitable that there would be misleading information in the virtual database. And more importantly, the majority is lack of professional knowledge to decide whether the information is correct or not. Also, if it leads to potential delay in receiving formal treatment, patients might be at risk and resulting in worse long-term consequences to their bodies. So more people agree that online information should not be trusted as official medical advices.

In conclusion, searching for health solutions on the web is not appropriated because there is always fake information online and general public does not equip with the professional knowledge to judge. It is better for patients to seek formal advice from qualified medical staffs to ensure they receive the most suitable treatments.
keithkwan14   
Jul 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / High wages are believed as a prominent part of delighted life rather than a sense of satisfaction [7]

Agree you showed a very wide range of vocabulary use. However, it seems to me some vocab are not presented in a natural way.
Also, there are some grammatical mistakes found in your essay, for example:

but they also able to purchase luxurious items
--> but they are able to purchase luxurious items

More and more people are passionate about their job
--> More and more people are passionate in their jobs
keithkwan14   
Jul 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / TASK 2: Helping other countries - Financial or Non-financial Aid is better? [2]

The overall essay structure is well organised, covering both sides of views in a smooth flow.

Some sentences are in rather informal structure which can be improved as follow:
It may come under various forms, including money, workforce, and machines, for instance.
--> For instance, the provided supports can be in various formats such as actual monetary investment, imported labor force or machines.
keithkwan14   
Jul 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: opinions on rising the price of petrol to reduce the effects [3]

The essay solely focuses on the disagreement about the increment of petrol cost but does not show both sides of views (agree/disagree) which are required from the prompt.

For example in the 1st sentence of 2nd paragraph, you only state "firmly believe" rising the petrol cost is not the solution. However, no examples/ reasons are given to support your view. The alternative outcome (increment of overall transportation cost) is also a bit off topic too.
keithkwan14   
Jul 26, 2020
Writing Feedback / Teaching discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, or it's parents duty? [7]

The last 2 paragraphs seem duplicated and a bit contradicting to each other. The 2nd last paragraph claims it's a jointed effort of parents/teachers while the last paragraph states "parents have the highest obligations". I find it quite confusing to understand the overall standpoint of your whole essay.

Suggest you can combine the last 2 paragraphs to make it a 4-paragraph essay, by simplifying the conclusion by stating the major reasons of why it takes both parents/teachers to shape the youngsters discipline
keithkwan14   
Jul 20, 2020
Writing Feedback / What are the reasons for bigger wage for celebrities than politicians? Evaluate this development. [3]

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians

.
What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?


With the rapid development of Internet, lifestyle of entertainment stars is now profoundly shaping the preference and interest of general public. Commercial brands now tend to invest on these celebrities which make these celebrities gain more income than politicians. I do believe this is a negative trend for the society. Two of the principal reasons are explained as follows.

Firstly, politicians are usually with higher education background and reputation. On the contrary, there is a relatively lower requirement for singers or actors. If a celebrity who is not even college-graduated can earn more than a well-educated politician, it definitely spreads a wrong message to the youngsters that studying is not necessarily the key to success. The fact can be proved by the increasing number of teenagers giving up university study to join singing contest, which also reflects their tendency to take shortcut to be famous and rich, instead of equipping themselves with knowledge.

Further and more importantly, celebrities getting too much economic power can be a threat to our political development. For instance, current US President Donald Trump was once a renowned host of TV show. Taking advantage of his popularity, he became the most powerful man in the Status for the past years. However, the way he leads the country is widely criticized due to the lack of political mindset and knowledge. So I believe these important role should be reserved for well trained politicians.

In conclusion, income earned by politicians should remain high enough to encourage capable candidates to contribute and improve the society. It is undoubtedly a negative trend to have entertainment stars takeover the superior status of politicians in our community.
keithkwan14   
Jul 18, 2020
Writing Feedback / Some feel international tourism is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions? [2]

evaluation of overseas travelling trend



With the rapid growth of technologies and global market development, worldwide travelling has not been so accessible than before. Despite it is profoundly beneficial for those desire to explore the world, it is also a controversial argument that drawbacks can be seen as a result of unnecessarily frequent travel. Personally I believe negative impacts brought up by international journey outweigh its benefits.

First of all, due to the dramatic drop of travelling cost on airfare and accommodation, overseas visits are more feasible nowadays which effectively accelerate worldwide economic growth. However, excessive travels may also result in unhealthy development of certain markets. We can observe all over the globe that popular cities over relay on tourists related businesses and undermine the market diversity. One obvious example is the streets of Hong Kong overloaded with pharmacies and souvenir shops. The overall market environment becomes increasingly difficult for other businesses. At the end the city will suffer from the monotonous development and lose the attraction.

Further and even more importantly, one of the largest fossil fuel consumptions in the world is airlines business. It is believed that uncontrolled global trips should take a critical responsibility in our environmental pollution. Imagine how luxury it is for a weekend trip decades ago, yet it is now affordable almost for everyone with low cost flights and AirBnB. With the extra help of internet, travel lovers can even lockdown their journey solely at their fingertips. This is the reason why scientists attribute this overwhelming travel trend to the irreversible damage to our planet.

In conclusion, overseas travelling is an irresistible trend for the majority which also helps in globalization. On the other hand, yet, I agree the trend also leads to more serious damages on our cultural and natural environments. It is important for all humility to get an optimal balance between economic development and environmental responsibilities.
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