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Posts by bilal ABUZENAH
Joined: Oct 23, 2009
Last Post: Apr 20, 2010
Threads: 15
Posts: 81  


Displayed posts: 96 / page 3 of 3
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bilal ABUZENAH   
Dec 16, 2009
Poetry / HE WAS NOT A TEACHER.... [7]

after I saw a new picture of my teacher...

I just figure it out...
I just knew it...
since I saw this picture.
this picture answers all of my questions....
Why my reading is so bad?
Why my writing is shit?
Why could not I talk for a minute without stopping?
Why I'm very weak in conversation?
It was not my fault....
the one who taught me was not a teacher....
he was a gangster....
he was a gang member...
he was a hustler....
Whatever he was, but he was not a teacher....
bilal ABUZENAH   
Jan 4, 2010
Undergraduate / EMERSON-TITLE OF MY LIFE (Urban Jungle) [3]

I really like it and I like the use of word "jungle".
If I were you, I would like to give some more specific examples about your life.
the current animal count in my home is 11???? what do you mean by animals in that sentence.

I think you can write about the area(neighborhood) that you live in and the school too.

by the way if you live in the heart of Chicago that means we live in the same jungle...jk.

good luck.
bilal ABUZENAH   
Jan 11, 2010
Poetry / 'siting in a dark room...' poem [9]

siting in a dark room...do not know why?
hearing them talking about me...he must be a spy...
I thought it is just a lie...a huge bald guy came into my room...
whitout saying Hi...he threw my passport and said...
it is time to say bye...I stood and said you must say bye...
otherwise....you will cry cry cry...
bilal ABUZENAH   
Jan 11, 2010
Poetry / 'siting in a dark room...' poem [9]

Some silly spelling errors...hahah
you can call it typing errors too. ("-")

sitting in a dark room...do not know why?
hearing them talking about me...he must be a spy...
I thought it is just a lie...a huge bald guy came into my room...
without saying Hi...he threw my passport and said...
it is time to say bye...I stood and said you must say bye...
otherwise....you will cry cry cry...
bilal ABUZENAH   
Jan 18, 2010
Poetry / 'siting in a dark room...' poem [9]

How about this one.

sitting in a dark room...do not know why?
hearing them talking about me...he must be a spy...
I thought it is just a lie...a huge bald guy came into my room...
without saying Hi...he threw my passport and said...
it is time to say bye...I stood and said I am not a spy...
this is my country...so, you must say bye...
otherwise....you will cry cry cry...
bilal ABUZENAH   
Feb 23, 2010
Undergraduate / 'Encyclopedia books' - UIUC tranfer (Academic interests/professional goal) [4]

Hi duduj. here is my comments.

"and I’d like to gain knowledge as much as possible". you cannot use I'd here, just say I would like .

"I was born and raised in China where New technologies and new businesses were being introduced"

"Economics is about how people make choices, and to make choices"

gd
bilal ABUZENAH   
Mar 7, 2010
Essays / should we care about celebrities? (introduction)... [2]

should we care about celebrities?
is my introduction clear??
thx for help..[

People have their own lives, and they could do anything they want, unless it is against the law; therefore, the celebrities have the right to do whatever they want under the umbrella of law. On the other hand; celebrities should pay some more attention to the society and the culture around them because many of them consider as a role-model for the new generation. So it is not acceptable for the most famous swimmer (Michael Phelps) to smoke marijuana because there are many young looking up to him.
bilal ABUZENAH   
Mar 12, 2010
Writing Feedback / Words effect (Cause and Effect essay - Power of words) [5]

Cause and Effect - Power of words.
write about a specific word that has an effect on you.

any criticize will be appreciated.

Words in general have different impacts on people. Some words could have
positive effects on a person's life; on the other hand, other words could have negative
impacts on person's life. The word orphan has a big effect on my life, but fortunately the
impacts of the word were much constructive to me than destructive. In my native culture
it was very offensive to be called an orphan. It is not shame to be an orphan, but I felt that
it was shame to be called an orphan.

After I was born, my family emigrated-from Palestine to Jordan. Our financial
situation was very bad, and we could barely cover our expenses; therefore, my father
made his decision to go to America because he thought he might get a good opportunity
to support us and satisfy our needs. So we were going to live without a father for a period
of time.

After my father left us, everything had changed. We were like cattle that were left
by the shepherd sight, we did not have any clue about what to do next, but sometimes
later we used to the situation and we handle it. One day while I was walking home, a little
child shouted at me and said "orphan" and fled to his home like a little kitty. That word
shocked me and smashed my heart, like a burglar breaking a glasses to get into a house.
At night when I went sleep, I started thinking about my self and asking "Am I an orphan?
And what was it mean to be an orphan?" Unfortunately, I did not find an answer to any of
my questions.

I started to be lonely and like to be isolated from the others. At home, I had less
contact with my family, even when it came to eating or watching TV. I used to kill
my time by reading books, writing or playing chess. I spent my whole time in my room
which was like a cage, but with an opened door. At the school, I used to sit in the front so
I would avoid talking to the other children, and if there was any group work I would
choose the smallest group in numbers. None of my family or teachers noticed what I was
doing to myself, my family thought that I was just busy with the school. And my teachers
thought that I had a personal case which I could not share with them. Unfortunately both
were wrong.

One day, I woke up at midnight and started wondering about what I was doing to
my self. Everything was happening to me as a result of that word. "That is crazy, and I
must change myself," I said. At that moment I felt like a new baby who was born. That night was a shifting point in my life. I was not any more locking myself in my room and I

felt freer, like a German guy after the Berlin Wall fell down. Moreover, I noticed that I
had gained more knowledge than before. The knowledge I gained resulted from reading
the books while I was locking my self in my room. Something else was that I became a
professional in chess game and using the computer. All of this happened because of the
isolation that I had before, which I think were constructive to me not destructive.

After I had this experience, I realized that words have power, and this power
could affect you in many ways. So you should be smart enough to avoid the negative
effects of words, and try to have the positive effects which could change your entire life
from the worse to the better.
bilal ABUZENAH   
Mar 12, 2010
Writing Feedback / Words effect (Cause and Effect essay - Power of words) [5]

thank a lot...

what my teacher said is:

Introduction whit clear thesis statement.
Body paragraph 1:
Topic sentence/main Idea:
Supporting ideas/examples/evidence.

Body paragraph 2:
Topic sentence/main Idea:
Supporting ideas/examples/evidence.
Body paragraph 3:
bilal ABUZENAH   
Mar 20, 2010
Undergraduate / "My Mother" - she will always be by my side. [9]

very briefly.

-----When I was asked who or what had a significant influence on me; I answered that my mother is the one who had the most influence on my life. It took me a while to figure out that my mother had the most extraordinary influence on my life .My mother had influenced me in many ways and has molded me to be what I am today a hard working person. The reasons of why my mother is the one who influenced me the most are her unique characteristic, perseverance, and her sense of responsibility.

you may make the example clearer in second paragraph!.avoid long sentence. avoid vagueness.
e.g
"She knew that if she got to America she could get to America she would be successful in her life."
"She never gave up and arrives in America in 1993."

in your conclusion.
do not restate your statement.
bilal ABUZENAH   
Apr 20, 2010
Essays / Choosing thesis and topics for my essay (5 related topics) [6]

Hi my friend. I think little by little you will do it.
Pick something easy, for example:

1-Write about your life here in America.
2- Compare between the life there in your back home and USA.
I think in the beginning you might use a bilingual dictionary. this will help you.

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