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Posts by thien le
Name: Thanh
Joined: Aug 22, 2021
Last Post: Sep 17, 2021
Threads: 2
Posts: 8  
From: Viet Nam
School: Eastern International University

Displayed posts: 10
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thien le   
Sep 13, 2021
Writing Feedback / The number of hours, which women and men spend doing different, unpaid works [3]

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories.


(Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.)


The bar chart illustrates how many hours married women and men work household choices a week followed by each family structures.
Broadly, it can be seen that the number of hours which women do without paying is higher a lot compared to men in the marriage.

Looking at the graph in more detail, it is clear that there is a little differential hour between females and males (30 hours and around 19 hours per week) when they do not have children. However, when spouses have children in 1-2 age groups, the hours of working household by women significantly increased to over 50 hours a week due to childcare responsibilities while unpaid work hours of men slightly decreased by about an hour/ week. The women have a number of household working hours double times in relation to men with over 3 aged children ( about 55 hours and 15 hours a week respectively).



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thien le   
Sep 6, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: the first place Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a a typical week [3]

You should fix some mistakes:
1.[i]two countries
2. of the people because using expressing quantity with of, you need determiners following.
3. you should add article before newspaper. -> a newspaper is....
reading the newspaper
-> above sentence use a newspaper because you mention newspaper in the first time
4.it's the smallest figure in Nigeria ( the superlatives comparison)
5.chose => chose to-> choice for
6. this the high levels sentence is subject, so you should write show instead of shows
thien le   
Aug 30, 2021
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: The graph shows the percentages of people going to cinemas in a country [6]

firstly, you should use more relative clause which makes your report more exciting
for example
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of citizens who spent time at the cinemas in Europe during a week ...

secondly, you also could write some comparative sentences
for example, the figure for cinema visitors in three years in that country stood at 30%
-> On Friday in 2003 had exactly the same percentage of cinema visitors as in 2005 and 2007, at 30%.

finally, you can use approximately , nearly to replace for around or about. this helps you not repeating words more times.
thien le   
Aug 29, 2021
Writing Feedback / The illustrations detail changes that occurred in the town of Langley from 1910 to 1950 [3]

The maps below show the town of Langley in 1910 and 1950.



Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


The illustrations detail changes that occurred in the town of Langley from 1910 to 1950.

From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the town has become more commercial with more commercial complexes and stores, and the only areas remaining unchanged are two streets.

As can be seen from the map in 1910, two rows of two houses had been divided two sides by Jordan street in the West area of the town. Moving on, there was Sherman Street, which had separated into North and South areas, in the middle Langley in 1910. A row of residential houses had been built in the North of Sherman Street; store and laundry next to these houses. To the north of the area, the industrial factory had been layout and next to it had been a wasteland. Further, more apartments in the South compared to North had been adjacent to a cafe shop which had been opposite railway workers' cottage with a quite far distance. Also, the accommodation of railway employments had been near to railway line.

We can see the map of Langley in 1950 that it became a commercial town. The row of townhouses was replaced by three flats. In the center of town, the block's apartments were demolished to open Sherman Park and the children's play area. In the east of the town, while old cafe shop was moved to the laundry store's previous position, and the laundry store was reintroduced of the old factory and row of the apartment into Sherman Mansions.



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thien le   
Aug 25, 2021
Writing Feedback / [ Writing task 1 ] The number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city by gender [4]

first, I think you could give several comparative structures, which helps you more score for GRAMMATICAL RANGE for example, women have almost as many cell phones joiners as males, with 2500 members in 2005.

the second, you forgot a information that male subscribes stay the same value before increasing from 2005 to 2010.
the third, "the numbers of subscribers for both genders" ,although you talk about 2 genders, it's general figure so that you just write " number"
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