Undergraduate / Lehigh and the why question. [2]

This is a really long response, I hope you guys could help me cutting out some unnecessary parts. Feel free to criticize. =]
As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?

Three months ago, Lehigh ...

Undergraduate / Cloudhouse - another essay for Common app Topic of my choice [5]

This is another one, my friend told me it is the best of all my essays, I just want some feedback on the idea. Some one told me its way too...on the sky. ^^ Thanx u guys in advance =P

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Possible Prompt:

What is your childhood dream? (I kindda just made one up=D )

Once again, I closed my eyes and felt my feet lifting up from the ground. Once again, I was flying. I could feel the tiny cotton-like and moist pillows touching my skin as I went higher and higher. Then a sudden warmth poured into the atmosphere, and before even opening my eyes, I knew what I was going to see and adore - my beloved cloud house, filled with fluffy waves of clouds and scintillating sunlight. This vision has long engraved in a four-year-old kid's mind until her seventeenth year, and has never ceased pumping fantasies into her world. I've always told myself that no matter how impractical it might be, no dream is impossible. There are only dreams waiting to come true.

My whole life has been associated with the sky, the clouds and their colors ever since this world welcomed me to its course: my favorite color is blue, my room's wallpaper is the sky with white clouds, countless of my stuffs are blue...I feel at ease lying in my room or staring into the clear blue of the sky or when I'm at the beach letting the zephyrs play with my messy hair while watching the deep blue water. And in that like-any-other-day, the miracle hit me: a marvelous castle-like cloud was lazily drifting into my sight, became a wonder to this little girl who was obsessed with the sky. I asked my mom earnestly, pointing to the castle: "Mommy, can you get me that cloud house?" She softly tapped my head and said: "Of course darling, one day you'll be brought to the sky with many clouds there." At that moment, the dream seemed so close I could reach it right in front of my nose. But I never did, and I grew up with time, with studying and friends and conflicts. The cloud house flashed by occasionally, I wondered whether it could ever come true. A dream appears to be so far away and unrealistic for now I know more about sciences and spaces; I acknowledge a child's dreams are in the world where everything exists, even the over-idealistic phenomena. Is there a door for such fairy tales' wonders to enter this materialistic world?

But through life, one could learn the precious lesson: no dream is too big and nothing is impossible. Well, my cloud house would go against physics laws, because I know if I jumped in a cloud I would fall right through it, and certainly would not stay alive. But the old man in "Up" (a Walt Disney cartoon) did it, at least what was close to the one in my dream. He brought his house to the sky, using countless balloons to fly his house to a wonderland, where no one was certain of its existence. At that moment I thought: "Walt Disney thinks like me". Great minds are alike, I guess. My dream is reflected through a cartoon, or at the least, it has come close to what I've always longed for as a kid, what has been fading away as I grow up. It has entered this materialistic world, as an economical product and raised enormous profit for Walt Disney Company. A fantasy has become a solid creation, and now as a twenty-first-century girl, I have faith to bring fairytales out of ink and pages, mine and everyone else's. To do that, I need more than daydreaming moments. It requires knowledge, a strong determination, and again, great creativity. Now I am writing an essay that might bring me to a whole new level of education, closer to my dream.

Ursula K. LeGuin stated "The creative adult is the child who has survived." I have come out of childhood alive, with my dreams and inspirations. I am ready to enter the mature world where fantasies arouse innovations. If the Mother Nature grants us the ability to dream and work, let's not disappoint her.

Undergraduate / 'experience of two people' - Babson Supp Essay - A letter to my roommate. [6]

This is just the draft I wrote down everything possible, like mostly all my ideas. It's kindda long so if you guys could please help me to shorten the unnecessary parts. Thanx =]

Dear roommate,
I hope this letter will actually be delivered to you, and yours to me since it is so exciting to get to know the person who will spend the next precious four years with one another, don't you think? First, let us say "Congratulations" to each other (through letters) for now we are enrolling one of the best business colleges in the US, which I assume is something to be happy about.

I have been sitting and staring at the screen for almost an hour to put down something below the words "Dear roommate", which everyone should have as the opening already. I have to admit, introducing myself to a person I am absolutely clueless about is not my talent. I begin to have many images of you flashing by in my head right now, several nationalities, and different backgrounds. The limit of my imagination is just ineffable. For I know the great diversity in Babson College, I am looking forward to expand my cultural knowledge as well as various economical approaches from your nation you'll enrich me with. I am curious about what made you choose the business path, because I was determined to join the force that drives this world ever since I was a kid. My mom told me how frugal I was in marketing games, how I just love all the new money I received during Tet Celebration in my country, which was odd since kids at that age don't show much interest in money. Maybe, I knew that, money could bring you anything you could ever dream of in this materialistic world. Such a smart kid I was, my mom told me. Now I do not love money, but one should acknowledge that without money, happiness could not be pursued. And with gifted talent in logical studies such as Calculus, Statistics and the adventurous AP Economics course last year, I know I have the ability to follow my dream. Babson furthermore will strengthen me on my way of reaching the utmost end of success.

The experience of two people who will join "force" on the education battlefield for the next four years, or more is really enthralling; so I guess you might want to know something about me as an individual. I might appear as a shy girl in the first time we meet, some people even call that coldness. I guess it's just because it takes more time to me to be familiar with some new people and place. But I am a fast learner, and friendly as long as I know more about people things around me. Because I believe that: You should treat people the way you want to be treated; therefore, I am usually a great help of my friends, as long as you're willing to let me help. Lucky for you, my friendliness doesn't exceed the limit of bothering others, so you'll have perfectly privacy as you wish, for I am not much of an intruder. I've been traveled a lot, so I think my knowledge would be some interesting topics we could share. Great taste in music and movies is one thing I am very proud of, for I believe studying is not the only thing exists in our world; everyone could spare sometime to entertain him or herself. We'll have fun and work effectively together, I promise. =]

What made Babson your choice, I wonder. Because to me, it is a whole new level that brings me closer to my dream: being a successful businesswoman to enjoy life the fullest. Babson first came in my list for its reputation in entrepreneurship programs. With fifteen straight years ranking first place in that area, I assume it must be a marvelous achievement not by a normal but indeed one of the best colleges. I started for more research in depth, and my interest in the school grew stronger. All my years in studying, I've been more in schools than in real world, which contradicts to the fact that I am entering a world outside of books. Babson will fulfill me with that concept of education. I could close my eyes and depict myself walking in a real office with my classmates to actually see the work process; or the picture of me and my team working on our own for-profit ventures. We were doing business; we were businessmen. Furthermore, with its study abroad program, I know I won't be limited in just one country but could explore several (forty seven institutions in more than twenty seven countries, that's indeed a big amount), and from there, individuals like me and you will be enriched with limitless knowledge about global economics. This will fulfill my dream of traveling around the world and definitely prepare us to be ready to enter the ever-changing system of business. Its core values (integrity, diversity, innovation, collaboration, excellence) assure me I'll receive not only a better level of education, I'll go to a place to be respected, have a life experience that will prepare me well for the real world.

I hope you do not recognize the anxiety in my letter, because I am pretty nervous but as well exciting in finding out about my college life and you ï my roommate. I've never really been to Babson myself, so, the first thing we could do together is discovering the school and just have a night to chill out after all our hard effort to make it there. Four years, you and I will walk out as strong roommates, firstly, businessmen and the most important, independent individual. Looking forward to see you.

Undergraduate / If today was my last day - Common App Essay [20]

I've been working on many essays at the times, trying to figure out which one is more like me and more appropriate. I am in a bad shape because none of them quite stands out. So please give me some feedback on all of my essays (if you guys have some spare time and bored) so I could kindda convey some ideas. Thanks a lot. =]

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If today was my last day, I am indeed throwing it away to write up this essay to a person who I'll never meet, to whom this essay might be just another cliche piece of writing to put on the R(ejected) pile. But I presume, life is more than successes or failures; it is a given adventure that one could only live once. So I ask myself: How would I live it?

The "last day" is just a hypothetical situation. I assure you that I have no intention to commit suicide, for I believe it is the most idiotic thing to do. Everybody says that one only has one life, so live it right, and giving up so soon is not a wise way I reckon. Now, if only one day was left, how should I live it? Eighty six thousand four hundred seconds, one thousand four hundred and forty four minutes, twenty- four hours, one day. I thought I needed a plan for every second, so I wouldn't waste any. Then I think about my life, which is nothing more than just a day in the time frame of mankind's existence. Then it hit me, how could I be sure I would make no mistakes in the attempt of doing anything? I was afraid to ruin my only chance because I thought and knew too much. I didn't want to step forward, because I didn't want to fall. I had always been chasing after a so-called meaningful life, which must reach some certain criteria (set by whom I am clueless about) and forgot occasionally who I was and what I was living for. In my dreams, I longed for Mozart's passion for music, I wanted to be in love blindly like Romeo and Juliet. Once in my life I wanted to feel something so utter, so strong that I could make the world fade away and just live. Yet, I was scared to let my only chance flow with some fantasies that might not exist, to walk into the darkness with no instructions. I was scared to live.

But, "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use" (Wendell Johnson). I can never be the next Mozart. Wrong. The norms are always right. Totally wrong. One could not know how to live right without failures. Even though I'm not the smartest, brightest, or whatever kids with incredibly high IQs are called nowadays, I believe my achievements are, too, valuable. I remember the first time I skated, I fell until bruises on my knees could be seen from fifty meters away, literally, to skate two meters without falling. Every time I failed, I stood up to try once more. What would it be if I didn't try, what if I was afraid of not being able to skate? I would always stand look at those successful skaters and ask: "What if I tried?" I am telling you, I live to create my own history, either to be remembered or not. My life is not comparable, because no one could ever have a life that is better, or to be precise, similar to mine in any way. To write this, I sat down and thought through my whole life and its meaning like I never did (maybe I never really did) and concluded that my life is more than just an essay or going to college. It's hidden in the numbness when I see homeless kids in the street begging for money, the happiness of seeing my one-year-old cousin learning her first step, or listening to her first word; the crazy sleep-over with insane painted-faces...Someone once said one's life has no meaning at all, and I decide it is me who gives mine one.

For one true fact, I could never know that "today" beforehand. In fact, no one does. I do not want any moment for regret, asking the "What if" questions. To get what I want I have to go out there and try to grab it. Failures don't mean my life's over, it teaches me determination and having faith in what I do. It could happen that I'll get accepted to all universities and colleges in my list and won't be there to yell in tears of excitement, or I'll get rejected by all and begin walk on another direction. Maybe colleges and universities are not where I belong, but it would not hurt to find out, would it?

Undergraduate / My Personal Statement for Common App(Image of homeless kids and its impact on me [9]

Common Application:
Topic #1:Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
Just the just draft :) I wrote like 3-4 others, this in one of those :D

The window rolled down to reveal to little Cambodian kids by the side of our car, sticking out a red dipper to beg for money. They stared at my dad, who was tapping on the driving wheel to wait for the red light to turn green. They didn't talk, and I doubted if they knew any Vietnamese at all. Then my dad gave them a dollar. And suddenly, their faces were brightened up by earnestly cheerful smiles. They kept bowing and talked in a language I know nothing of, but I could recognize the sound of happiness. I was watching them the whole time and wondering why I felt strange and confused, then turned my head around once more, let my eyes linger on the two tiny figures fading further and further away. How could they be so happy in such a sight?

It was a typical summer day in Vietnam, which means the temperature is above 40'C at least. Surrounded in a giant flaming fire of the sun, the kids sweated excessively as if they just had a bath; and their tanned skin, which showed nothing but destitution, spoke the ineffable language of misery. According to their appearance, I guess the two are siblings, a girl, about 6-7 years old, was carrying her little brother. They both wore shattered clothes with expectable banal colors. The fact that they have to deal with survival threats every day doesn't allow them much chance to think of having normal clothes, not even mentioning beautiful ones. The pavement where they sat earlier was fully filled with some kind of yellow flowers, lively and flesh, sharply disparate with the kids. They looked lost in the color of hope and happiness of this nature's creation. How can anyone feel the glow of happiness in this scene? It seems impossible to me.

But two dollars my dad gave them truly made the miracle happen. In that very split second, they smiled to each other, holding the money as if it was the wish-lamp. They whispered in excitement, bowed once more and trotted away. How could such small thing bring joy to them? And I was in the car, staying away from the boiling heat, and did not feel satisfied. I stopped myself from further thought, for I was brought back to one of my daily scenes: abundant food all over the table and my mom just set herself in the table to enjoy the diner. I was determined to leave the table the next minute, because I didn't like onion and the food was full of it, besides, the movie on TV was indeed more enthralling, I left my mom to eat by herself. Shameful and upset, I wanted to close my mind from all those memories flashing by: the time I got mad for not getting the dress with the color I expected, or when my AC stopped working in the boiling heat of a summer day, depressed over overload homework...Countless images and scenes filled my mind. I rarely feel enough even though I always have more than enough, it blinds me. Overwhelming with all the wants and needs as a common greedy person, I forgot to look around and open my eyes to see. And there they were, reminding me of the incredible luck I was having. Happiness could be found in every infinitesimal corner I could never predict or expect. It is in the hug my mom gives me every morning before leaving for work, it is in diner with daily stories at school or work, it is in the smile of those two kids...It is a wonder of how something so small and so unimportant become the fullest joy at times. Mine was left with the kid and the dollar beside the vividly yellow flowers.

Happiness is rather a choice than a gift or a right. One could choose to be happy in a seeming miserable situation or to not be happy in wealth and fortune. Happiness is ubiquitous, and if a hug or just two dollars could make some body's day, why can't I help to make the difference? Then I thought of how alike those yellow flowers and I are, apathetic and lethargic to what is going on around us, and even worse, to what we are having at the present. We live in a world to demand the best life qualities and our greed never seems to cease.