Undergraduate / "American Studies and My World" - Transfer Application Essay [3]

Hi, I've posted on here before and am very much surprised to find myself here again, a year later. I'm thinking about transferring schools and need help with this prompt. Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Prompt: Statement of Purpose

Essay:

American Studies and My World

Previous to signing up for my first semester classes, I had never even heard of American Studies. The only reason I took an AMST class was because I overslept on the day of course registration and woke up to find that most of my first choice classes were full. After scavenging the course schedule for classes that were open and available to incoming freshmen, I decided on American Politics and Religion. The class seemed like a bad choice on the first day when my professor told us that "this will probably be one of your hardest classes," and even made a point to tell the freshmen in the class that the workload would at times seem overwhelming.

In spite of this, I found myself enjoying the class more than any other; for the first time in my life, I felt that I was studying a subject that I found to be interesting, relevant, and enjoyable. This first hit me towards the beginning of the semester, a few days after I had read some essays on civil religion in America. My friends and I were still new to Washington, DC, and being extremely close to the national mall, we decided to walk around the monuments one Saturday night. As we walked through, I remember looking up at the Lincoln Monument in amazement as I connected it to what I was learning about in class. I excitedly turned to my friends Maggie and David, and, trying not to sound too nerdy, began by saying something to the extent of "Isn't it so weird how being an American is almost a religion with its own values and icons and stuff? This looks like a temple." I then continued to energetically ramble about Jean-Jacques Rousseau's notion of civil religion, Thomas Jefferson's writings, and speeches by Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy, "borrowed" material from my professor's lectures and assigned readings. Maggie and David both responded politely with a few words of agreement, but I could tell that I had bored them.

Looking back on that night reminds me of why the field of American Studies fascinates me - it gives me an immensely deeper understanding of my environment and point of view. A society's culture bleeds through every aspect of life of those living in that society. I have been shaped by the cultural norms of today, those I grew up with, and those that shaped my parents and their forefathers. By providing background information on and reason for the existence of the norms and perspectives I grew up with in America, American Studies brings me into a rich continuum where history, culture, and everyday life converge.

I would like to pursue a major in this field because it will provide me with a more complete perspective on life. Knowledge of the history and development of cultural understandings and happenings adds an extra dimension to the events and phenomena of the present. For this reason, I believe that a background in American Studies will leave me with a more fulfilling and meaningful view on the society I live in.

(END)

Advice? Overall thoughts on the essay? Corrections? Like I said, anything would be appreciated.
Also, is it alright that I ended the last sentence with a preposition? I thought about changing it to "the society in which I live," but it just seemed awkward. Let me know if you think differently.

Undergraduate / Not a Love Story - UT Person of Influence [6]

This is the last essay I have left. Take a look at it and I will be happy to take a look at any of your threads. Thanks!

Title: This Is Not a Love Story

It was nine o'clock on a Saturday night and I was suited up in a white cowboy hat, a maroon and beige plaid shirt, black wrangler jeans, and black lizard skin cowboy boots. I was at my friend Juan's house, waiting for his friend Jaime to arrive. Juan, Jaime, and I were about to go to a Norteńa dance club. Among the three of us, I was the only one who had never been to a club. I was also the only one who had not been brought up under the influence of Mexican culture. Although I knew that I would feel somewhat out of place, I decided to go because I was curious about entering an environment that seemed so foreign to me. I had no intention of finding a girl who would change my perspective and approach to new people and experiences. I just wanted to see what the place was like.

After a short wait and a car-ride, we arrived at the club. As I expected, I found myself immersed in something completely new to me. Although my mother is from Nicaragua and I speak Spanish, all the music was unfamiliar to me and the dances were a far cry from those I had been exposed to at school events like homecoming and prom. I wanted to get on the dance-floor and start dancing, but I lacked the confidence to do so because I had no idea how to dance like everyone else was. So instead I talked to Juan and Jaime for a few minutes. After a while, it became obvious that both of them wanted to find some girls and start dancing; I was holding them back. Though I did not want to keep them from having a good time, I also had no intention of stepping onto the dance floor, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, telling them that I would find them when I was done.

As I expected, they were on the dance floor by the time I exited the crowded restroom. Moving to the beat of the loud Cumbia song that playing, Juan spotted me and called me over. It seemed that I was going to be dancing after all. Very reluctantly, I walked over to him. "Go ask that girl to dance," he told me as his eyes moved towards the girl next to the girl with whom he was dancing.

As I gathered the courage to ask her to dance, I kept thinking of negative outcomes. Maybe she'd just say "No." Maybe she'd maniacally laugh in my face. Maybe she'd say yes, only to walk away from me in mid-dance, telling me "You suck this."

Ultimately, however, I manned up and introduced myself to the girl, whose name was Gabi, and asked her if she'd like to dance. To my relief, she said yes. It was really fun. She laughed a bit as we got started, but she also gave me useful feedback on my Latin rhythm skills. "You're getting better at this," she'd tell me. Gabi was a great dance partner: she was kind, patient, and nothing like the scary person I kept envisioning before I introduced myself to her. By the time Juan, Jaime, and I left the club, I was proficient in dancing to Norteńa and Cumbia songs.

Though I haven't seen Gabi since the night I met her, she is a person of influence to me because she helped me get over my fear of rejection by simply saying "Yes." Dancing with her made me realize how ridiculous it was of me to allow this fear to control me. I am no longer too bashful ask questions I want to ask, to talk to people I don't know very well, or to ask a girl to dance. Thanks to Gabi, I am able to go outside of my comfort zone and actively engage in new things.

Undergraduate / "politically and internationally savvy people" - What Interests You About GW? [5]

This is my essay for GWU. Feel free to give me any advice. Thanks a lot!

Though I had been to D.C. before, my first impression of the city's "scene" came from a conversation with my sister Rebecca on Gmail Chat. She had recently moved to DC to work as a paralegal for an immigration law firm. When I asked her how she liked it, she replied "people in dc are weird; everyones wayyy too into politics. it gets annoying." Her answer surprised me; I was ignorant to the fact that political awareness in DC trickled down to students, paralegals, accountants, engineers, etc. Being "wayyy too into politics" myself, her unenthusiastic description made the city more appealing to me.

After visiting my sister, I decided that I love Washington, D.C. I ate the best falafel I'd ever eaten in my life in a small restaurant whose walls were covered with political bumper stickers; I heard people speaking Spanish, French, Arabic, and other languages as I rode in my sister's car with the windows down during the city's brutal rush hour; I vividly remember the boisterous crowds of people on 18th Street chatting and laughing. The entire city radiates with diversity, culture, opinions, and an indescribable energy.

I would like to attend GW because it embodies everything that I love about D.C. The school is dedicated to helping their students grow into politically and internationally savvy people. Not only is it located near global political powerhouses like the World Bank, foreign embassies, and the capitol, but the school's mission is internationally focused and encourages students become active members of society. The implementation of the school's mission is seen through the accomplishments of the school's alumni, the important guest speakers who visit, the seven hundred students studying political science, and the school's long list of student organizations, my favorite being the Food Justice Alliance. An education from George Washington would enable me to pursue my most avid intellectual interest (politics) and help me become the kind of man I have always hoped to be.

Undergraduate / NYU APPLICATION multiple prompts [3]

Hi. The NYU application has a lot of different prompts. Help with any of them would be much appreciated.

Are you currently attending high school or college? If no, please describe your activities since last enrolled.

After graduating from Jesuit in May of 2009, I started working a lot of hours at my catering job and took a job working as a temp for Autonation's Cash for Clunker's team. Having saved most of the money I earned while working, I moved to Managua, Nicaragua on October 15th. I am living with my uncles and working with an organization called XXXX, which serves the community surrounding Managua's city trash dump.

I plan to return in June of 2010.

In addition to any work experience that you listed on your application, please tell us how you spent your most recent summer vacation.

Realizing how good she was at remodeling our own home, my mom bought a couple of small town homes and flipped them. Much of my summer was spent helping her with this endeavor. Typically, I'd bring food to the workers and go to Home Depot and buy the supplies they needed. In addition to running errands, I also became a tile apprentice to one of the workers and learned how to properly cut and lay tile. The experience was tiring, but rewarding. Both the houses have been rented and look great.

If you had the opportunity to spend one day in New York City with a famous New Yorker, who would it be and what would you do? (Your New Yorker can be anyone -past or present, fictional or nonfictional - who is commonly associated with New York City; they do not necessarily have to have been born and raised in New York.)

Yoko Ono would ask me to meet her at her favorite NYC art exhibit. While meandering through the gallery, we would discuss each piece and talk about life and politics. After having appreciated all the art, I'd suggest that we leave to eat dinner. Yoko would ask that we eat at a vegetarian-friendly place. In response, I'd probably make a lame steakhouse joke and then tell her that I was a vegan for a year (for Yoko points). The day would end with us eating at a nice vegetarian restaurant.

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

Culturalized: Lessons from a Citizen of the World

(Documentary.) Patrick Arnold discusses his lessons learned throughout his life as a social activist. He tells of the dilemmas and opportunities he faced while living in and traveling to different countries as he reformed policies across the world. The film provides a unique perspective on human nature, solidarity, and culture.

Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

I selected NYU's College of Arts and Science because of its strong, policy-focused Politics department. Issues of social justice have always been of great importance to me. Since many of today's problems and inequalities have roots in ineffective or unfair policies, I believe that a strong educational background in politics and public policy will enable me to effectively promote and pursue social justice.