hoangtran
Jun 10, 2022
Writing Feedback / Essay regarding the consumption of unhealthy food [4]
You can use "therefore" instead of "thus" to avoid repeating
You can use "therefore" instead of "thus" to avoid repeating
hoangtran
Jun 10, 2022
Writing Feedback / Check my essay about alcohol abuse. its problems and solutions [4]
You can use "in accordance of" instead of "according to"
You can use "in accordance of" instead of "according to"
hoangtran
Jun 10, 2022
Writing Feedback / The graph illustrates the average yearly spending on mobile phone, national and overseas landline [3]
I often use the specific year (like "the year 2014", "during 2014") instead of "the fifth year of period" because it can cause confusion
I often use the specific year (like "the year 2014", "during 2014") instead of "the fifth year of period" because it can cause confusion
hoangtran
Jun 8, 2022
Writing Feedback / Ielts task 2: Do you think the development of technology is positive or negative and why? [3]
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
The development of technology has allowed many adults and youngsters to work and study from home. Although I believe that technology has excessive beneficial impacts on people's lifestyles, I also think that the improvement of technology can be negative in some ways.
On the one hand, recently due to the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, smart devices such as computers and mobile phones have become an essential element in people's lives as they allowed people to keep in touch with others and work from home. Moreover, because technology is cheaper nowadays, children in rural areas can easily get access to the Internet which positively contributed to their learning. For instance, instead of being restricted by geographical boundaries, digital classes enable students to make effective use of traveling time. With this significant amount of preparation time, these juniors will have more spare time for hobbies and outdoor activities.
On the other hand, using smart devices without limitations can cause health problems. In fact, if children concentrate on playing computer games, their eyes will be affected by the screen lights from technologies. Furthermore, they can easily get addicted to computer games. In accordance with a survey made by my classmates, more than 70% of high school students have to wear glasses from a young age because of having bad eyesight.
In conclusion, even though I agree that technology has beneficial effects that can help adults and children tackle many issues, spending excessive time using technology can create a detrimental lifestyle that will damage people's health. That is why people need to limit their time spent on the usage of technology to avoid having health issues.
(273w)
Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible.
Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
The development of technology has allowed many adults and youngsters to work and study from home. Although I believe that technology has excessive beneficial impacts on people's lifestyles, I also think that the improvement of technology can be negative in some ways.
On the one hand, recently due to the outbreak of the Covid-19 pandemic, smart devices such as computers and mobile phones have become an essential element in people's lives as they allowed people to keep in touch with others and work from home. Moreover, because technology is cheaper nowadays, children in rural areas can easily get access to the Internet which positively contributed to their learning. For instance, instead of being restricted by geographical boundaries, digital classes enable students to make effective use of traveling time. With this significant amount of preparation time, these juniors will have more spare time for hobbies and outdoor activities.
On the other hand, using smart devices without limitations can cause health problems. In fact, if children concentrate on playing computer games, their eyes will be affected by the screen lights from technologies. Furthermore, they can easily get addicted to computer games. In accordance with a survey made by my classmates, more than 70% of high school students have to wear glasses from a young age because of having bad eyesight.
In conclusion, even though I agree that technology has beneficial effects that can help adults and children tackle many issues, spending excessive time using technology can create a detrimental lifestyle that will damage people's health. That is why people need to limit their time spent on the usage of technology to avoid having health issues.
(273w)
hoangtran
Jun 8, 2022
Writing Feedback / The main factors influencing a child's development these day is social factors or [5]
In conclusion, while some people believe that the main factors influencing a child's development nowadays are social factors outside of the family, it seems to me that parents who have the most important impact on the way that their child develops. (this is how I correct the last sentence)
In conclusion, while some people believe that the main factors influencing a child's development nowadays are social factors outside of the family, it seems to me that parents who have the most important impact on the way that their child develops. (this is how I correct the last sentence)
hoangtran
Jun 8, 2022
Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: THE PASSED DRIVING TESTS RATE [2]
The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The diagram depicts the proportion of females and males who passed their driving test in one Asian country from 1980 to 2010. As is highlighted from the bar charts, the percentage of women and men who passed their driving test is on the increase between 1980 and 2010.
Looking at the details, the proportion of driving tests passed by women commenced at approximately 50% in 1980, then improved significantly to around 70% during 2000. After that, there was a marginal decrease of nearly 5% in the year 2010.
Meanwhile, the rate of men who passed their driving test gradually increased from 1980 to 2000 and stay the same during 2010. The year 1980 recorded a steady improvement from nearly 30% to approximately 40% in 1990 and 50% in 2000. Nonetheless, whilst women experienced a downward trend between 2000 and 2010, the proportion of men who passed when they took their driving test showed a stable change.
The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The diagram depicts the proportion of females and males who passed their driving test in one Asian country from 1980 to 2010. As is highlighted from the bar charts, the percentage of women and men who passed their driving test is on the increase between 1980 and 2010.
Looking at the details, the proportion of driving tests passed by women commenced at approximately 50% in 1980, then improved significantly to around 70% during 2000. After that, there was a marginal decrease of nearly 5% in the year 2010.
Meanwhile, the rate of men who passed their driving test gradually increased from 1980 to 2000 and stay the same during 2010. The year 1980 recorded a steady improvement from nearly 30% to approximately 40% in 1990 and 50% in 2000. Nonetheless, whilst women experienced a downward trend between 2000 and 2010, the proportion of men who passed when they took their driving test showed a stable change.
