Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1: Annual Pay of Doctors and Other Workers [2]

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows the annual pay (thousands of US dollars) for doctors and other workers in seven countries in 2004.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph compares the number of money in US dollars doctors and other workers of seven different countries made annually in 2004.

Overall, in every country, doctors earned much more than other jobs with the United States having the highest earnings and Finland having the lowest.

As regards doctors' pay, those living in the United States received the most with 120 thousand dollars. Reducing by almost half, doctors in France, Switzerland, Germany, Czech Republic, and Italy had yearly salaries of approximately 60 thousand to 70 thousand dollars. Having the smallest payment, Finland doctors received only 50 thousand dollars.

Having the payment of about 45 thousand dollars, all the other occupations in the US also had the highest salary among the seven countries. In Italy, the Czech Republic, and Germany, the others only made about a third of the money the doctors earned in each country, which was around 20 thousand dollars. Meanwhile, the salaries of other jobs in France and Finland were around half of the doctor's pay, ranging from 25 thousand to 30 thousand dollars.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 It is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centre [3]

Task 2: When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the process of planning a new town, either building public parks and sports facilities or shopping centers is more vital is the question often considered. Although shopping centers can be attractive to many residents, I think that developing those big constructions is not as important as developing the two other infrastructures.

Public parks and sports facilities are more important for a reason. Parks preserve the quality and the health of our living environment. A lot of trees are planted there to provide fresh air and filter the atmosphere for the city dwellers, which ensures the town is a safe and peaceful place to live in. Sports facilities keep the residents living there healthy and happy. The availability of sports centers will encourage and provide opportunities for people to exercise, which is essential for a good mind and a healthy body.

Meanwhile, the shopping center is not as essential since people only come here to entertain themselves in their free time. It mainly serves as a place for people to buy a range of items from retail shops, department stores, and especially boutiques. This may be good for the economy but does not contribute to the health of the city dwellers, the most important aspect of a well-developed town. Moreover, building these sites requires a lot of money, which is better spent on other facilities that enhance citizens' lives, especially in a newly planned town that does not have any cash inflow yet.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that the construction of open parks and sports facilities should be prioritized over shopping centers as it can improve the health and the life quality of the residents living there.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1 The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and the average cinema [3]

Task 1: The graphs below show the cinema attendance in Australia and the average cinema visits by different age groups from 1996 to 2000.

The graphs demonstrate the percentage of the Australian population visiting the cinema and their average visits categorized by age groups from 1996 to 2000.

Generally, cinema popularity had increased after four years with the number of times people go to a cinema falling as they age.

According to the table, the attendance of cinema visits in Australia started at 62% with an average of 10.3 visits per year. Then, there was a substantial uptick as attendance and frequency had respectively rose 10% and 0.8 times. The following two years witnessed a decline in both areas the figure for attendance lowered by 2% in 1997 and average visits dropped dramatically down to 8.2 times in 1998, but the numbers both recovered in 2000.

As can be observed in the line graph, the youngest age group had the most visits, peaking at 23 times in 1999 and hitting a bottom of 18 times in the final year. Ranging from 12 to 22 visits, adult people from 25 to 49 ranked second and third respectively. Finally, the middle-aged group visit count was 13 times in 2000.

P/s: may I ask how to choose the information to put in writing when there is too much data? I struggled with this for an hour since my weakness is task 1. I really really appreciate your efforts to give me feedback. Thank you!

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Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university... [3]

Task 2: Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. Why? Effects on society? (Jan, 2023)

It is observed that the number of students choosing science subjects in universities doesn't reach the desired amount in many nations these days. In this essay, I will explain the potential reasons behind this occurrence and its effects on the society.

There are several reasons why students tend to turn away from scientific subjects. First, with the growth of the economy around the world and globalization becoming more important, economic studies may have attracted more college students than science since they can see the potential in the subject. Moreover, science subjects may be viewed as less important because basic science knowledge that everyone needs to know to apply them in real life has already been taught in high school. Second, if science in university is high-level science, the students will only study it if they want to become a scientists. But, since not many scientists can create remarkable findings or make large contributions, their lives seem to be struggling, which demotivates people to follow that path.

As a consequence, there will be fewer scientists in the future to do research and invent scientific developments. The possibility of improving the lives of the people is lowered, so any societal problems will remain unsolved. Another effect is the creation of new medicine for unhealed diseases is slower or if worse, there will not be any chance there would be one. Therefore, the health of the citizens will be not improved despite possible worsening pollution and diseases.

In conclusion, the cause of the decline in science subject registration is the students' lack of interest in it and this may lead to societal problems being unresolved and citizen's health not improving.