Writing Feedback / Role Model Parent - The Perfect parent-child relationship essay [NEW]

I was wondering if someone could read my essay on the characteristics of a Role Model Parent and critique it. Thank you!

The Perfect parent-child relationship

Over the course of our lifespan, we form a multitude of relationships with a variety of different individuals. However, there is one particular relationship that must have the most work put into in order for it to successfully survive; that is the relationship between parents and their children. One can only imagine how complex being a parent is, but maintaining close relationships can help ensure that parents connect with their children. In reading two essays entitled Arm Wrestling With My Father by Brad Manning and Shooting Dad by Sarah Vowell, one can establish the three most important characteristics of a perfect parent-child relationship. These three traits include individualized attention, respect, and love.

One attribute that the "perfect" parent should have is providing individualized attention to his/her child. Children who receive individualized attention from their parents have a sense of contentment because they feel significant to their parent. This leads the way to successful communication. This characteristic proves successful in Sarah Vowell's Shooting Dad. In this specific essay, neither gunsmith father nor his Democrat daughter have any real interest in the activities of one another. One day, both of them go out on the mountain to shoot off the father's homemade cannon for the first time ever. As her father is shooting off the cannon, the daughter is using her tape recorder to record the noise. At that moment, that daughter thinks to herself, "Oh. My. God. My dad and I are the same person. We're both smart-alecky loners with goofy projects and weird equipment" (159). By spending one-on-one time with his daughter, the father in the story has helped her realize that despite their vast differences, they are one-in-the-same. This is a positive example of just one characteristic of a role-model parent.

A second characteristic of a role-model parent is respect. Children strive to attain their independence at a young age. Whether they achieve it by picking out their own mismatched clothes or by choosing what sport they want to participate in, a parent needs to be constantly respectful of their child's decisions. Although some of the choices children make are not always the best ones, a good parent can help by steering their child in the right direction. In the end, the child will respect their parent for their advisement. In the beginning of Vowell's Shooting Dad, the father manifests negligible respect to his daughter for her political decisions. The daughter reveals that:
"I was so excited when Walter Mondale chose Geraldine Ferraro as his running mate that I taped the front page of the newspaper with her picture on it to the refrigerator door...Somehow, that picture ended up in the trash all the way across the room" (155).
What the daughter is conveying to readers is that her father did not respect her political views, and undeniably expressed it. She also informs readers that "we were incapable of having a conversation that didn't end in an argument" (155). Evidently, the relationship between the father and daughter in Shooting Dad is a prime example of an undesirable, disrespectful parent-child relationship.

Above all, a role-model parent should possess the characteristic of love. Parents need to show their children that they do love and care for them. Simply saying "I love you," or taking part in a child's activities and interests are very straightforward means for a parent to show a child love. Brad Manning's Arm Wrestling With My Father is a positive example of a father showing love to his child. The father in Manning's essay is not the type of individual who can verbally express his emotions. His son even informs readers that "love was a rare expression between us" (150). Instead, the father uses physical means to reveal his love to his son, such as arm wrestling. However, at the conclusion of the essay, the son notes that his father "offered a hug" in place of the handshake that the son had offered. Because of his father's gesture, the son speculates that "what he [his father] had said to me in that last hug was that he loved me" (150). Even the insignificant details can unquestionably make a child feel love from his or her parent and help the parent be more desirable role-model figure.

As preposterous as a perfect role-model parent seems, it is somewhat feasible. In fact, a parent needs to be as much of a role-model to his/her children as possible in order to build an intimate relationship with them. Three preeminent characteristics of a role-model parent include being able to provide individualized attention, respect, and love. Through Sarah Vowell's Shooting Dad and Brad Manning's Arm Wrestling With My Father, readers can find positive and negative examples of the three prominent traits of a role-model parent. When a bond with a child is healthy and expanding, the child will accept a parent's influence unhesitatingly and will reciprocate enthusiastically to new assignments and requests.

Undergraduate / A passion for performing in front of people - Personal Statement Essay [NEW]

I am writing a personal essay statement and I just wanted someone to read it ad critique it for me. Thank you!!!

Ever since I was a little girl I have always had a passion for performing in front of people and being on stage. When I was three years old I began dancing and for the duration of the thirteen years that I remained dancing, not once did I endure a slight moment of stage-fright. Surprisingly as a college student, I continue to perform but in lieu of dancing, I cheerlead. Anyone reading this would undoubtedly surmise then, that I have no problem being in front of a camera. To their disbelief, and mine as well, I am scared witless of having to appear on camera.

When I acquaint people with my desire to be a broadcasting major, virtually everyone deduces that I aspire to be in front of the camera, perhaps as a news anchor. While that would be congenial, I am more interested in the "behind the scenes" aspect of broadcasting. In my perfect world, I imagine myself as a substantial Hollywood director. However unattainable my dream seems, I am confident that I can work my way to it. Even if I do not end up being a director for Hollywood films, I would just as much enjoy directing Independent films or shows for television.

Keeping my ambition in mind, I am willing to do all I can to fulfill it. Prior to my graduation from the County College of Morris, I would like to have interned at a broadcasting station or studio. Subsequent to my graduation, my intention is to transfer to a four-year institution, ideally in Florida, California, or New York. While there, I hope to accomplish supplementary internships and obtain my Bachelor's Degree in broadcasting. Fortunately, my passion for learning does not stop there. Following undergraduate school, I am going to enroll in a graduate program and receive my Master's Degree. Throughout the course of my studies, I would like to explore different job opportunities in my field and eventually find a worthwhile job.

The field of broadcasting is an extremely competitive one. I know that I am going to have to start at the very bottom and work my way up but nevertheless, I am willing to do it. There is a line in the song "Stand Up," which is sung by various female artists in an attempt to raise awareness for cancer, that I relate to dreams: "I'm telling you that things get better through whatever, if you fall, dust if off don't let up. Don't you know you can be your own miracle?" Even though the song is about cancer, I feel that it can relate to anyone with a dream. What this line is telling people is that no matter how bad things may get, you can always make them better for yourself. When you have a dream, such as mine to be a movie director, you can accomplish it through your own hard work.

Undergraduate / "The Early Show." - Evaluate a significant experience or achievement [3]

thank you very very much! if you wouldn't mind, i have another essay for the rest of my colleges.. if you could just read over that one and let me know what i need to improve upon, that would be very much appreciated!!! =)

"Evaluate a significant experience or achievement that has special meaning to you."

"The Early Show" and My TV Production Dream

It was June 8, 2007 when I got to go behind the scenes on the set of "The Early Show." It is CBS's two-hour morning broadcast that is directed by Michael Mancini, a resident in my town. At my school, I am and have been enrolled in a class called Television Production where we learn how the aesthetics of television and actually get to put together our own shows for our TV Club's morning announcements. I am extremely involved in this class and over the past three years have developed a passion for television directing. Being at CBS Studios put the icing on the cake. For me, it was a meaningful and worthwhile experience that I am never going to forget.

My class sat in the control room of the studio, right in the middle of all the action and excitement. I was seated right behind the director, so I really got a feel for what his job was like. Throughout the show, he had to coordinate with his talent, technical director, audio technician, everybody. He had a million things going on at once, yet he ran an extremely successful show. As I was watching the broadcast, I got chills just seeing how well the show went. I am the type of person who works well under pressure and watching Mr. Mancini direct the show made me confident that I could one day run a broadcast as well as he did. During one of the commercial breaks, he turned to me and jokingly asked me if I was ready to direct the rest of the show. Ever since that moment, I have had my heart set on becoming a television director. But if I can only obtain a job as a floor manager or a camera person, I would be more than satisfied. As I witnessed, their jobs are just as important as the directors.

Being at CBS Studios really helped me decide what kind of future I want to make for myself. From the moment I walked into the control room, I was awestruck at what I saw. For years now, I have been undecided with what I want to do with my life after high school. After that day though, I knew that there was no turning back, that this is the kind of industry I want to be a part of. I am slowly preparing myself everyday when I go to my Television Production class, and I have become confident that I can achieve my dream. Who knows, maybe one day I will find myself working at CBS Studios!

Undergraduate / Passion for Television Directing; Syracuse U [2]

I was wondering if someone could look over my essay for SU and give me a critque about it! thank you so much!

"In 250 to 500 words, describe one thing you haven't yet accomplished in your life that you really want to do. Explain how being at Syracuse University will help you accomplish it."

From the very first day I began directing for my school's Television Production class, I knew that my heart would be set on making a future out of it. I started out directing simple, five minute broadcasts, and moved on to a bit more complex fifteen minute broadcasts. This past June, I got to sit in the control room of CBS's "The Early Show," directed by Michael Mancini, who just so happens to reside in my hometown. I was amazed to see how much effort and collaboration goes into a live, two hour broadcast. I thought our fifteen minute broadcasts were stressful, but nothing compared to this. Being behind the scenes at "The Early Show," just gave me a bigger incentive and a stronger desire to follow in the footsteps of televisions finest directors.

I strongly believe that Syracuse University is going to guide me along the right path towards being a future television director. S.I. Newhouse is widely known to be one of the nation's most prominent schools for communications studies. It offers two state-of-the-art television studios. Television directors need to be acquainted with the equipment being used during their productions. In my Television studies at my high school, I have had hands on experience with professional studio equipment so I would have knowledge of how to use Newhouse's equipment. Not only do directors need to be familiar with the studio equipment, they need to know how to put together a successful show. Newhouse offers courses such as Television Production, Shortform Production, and Production Practicum-Television, each of which deals with the aspects of putting together basic yet effective television broadcasts. However, the basics are not always enough; directors, along with the producers, need to make sure their broadcasts capture the audience's attention. Courses such as Dramatic Writing for Television, Persuasive Writing, Comedy Writing, Children and Television, and Popular Culture Studies are offered at Newhouse. These courses will be beneficial in helping to spice up a broadcast, which is one of the roles that the director holds.

For three years now, I have held a passionate interest for television directing. My dream is to obtain a job directing a television broadcast, whether it is at a small, local station or a large, national station such as CBS. Syracuse's Newhouse School of Communication offers exceptional facilities along with intense yet worthwhile courses. With all that Newhouse and Syracuse University offer, I believe that I can achieve my aspiration of becoming a television director. I hope to one day see my name in the credits of a show, and when that day comes, I will know that Syracuse University helped me get there!