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Posts by lillyforlunch
Joined: Dec 13, 2009
Last Post: Dec 30, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
From: usa

Displayed posts: 9
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lillyforlunch   
Dec 30, 2009
Undergraduate / Why Tufts Essay- A Mirror Reflection? [9]

Hey Samuel,

I think you did a great job!

Just one comment, I may be being too picky here, but I think you should use another word besides "overwhelming" to describe the notion of a globalized, creative, and passionate environment... perhaps exciting?
lillyforlunch   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / I have been raised very traditionally; Tufts: Let your life Speak essay [3]

hey diana.. be confident! I really think this essay has a nice message.
I love how you ended it.

Here's a little grammatical error I found:

Because of my parents intense upbringings,

Sometimes its difficult to have parents that are pushing you every step of the way...

Try to start it with a little anecdote or even a quote by one of your family members...

hope that helps!

PS could you review my essay? I'm also applying to Tufts!
lillyforlunch   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / Different perception of HOME; Tufts - "Let Your Life Speak" [2]

Hey guys, I'm generally satisfied with all my Tufts supplements except for this one.. I feel it's too generalized and just .. bland. Any and all suggestions will be appreciated! Thanks in advance!

1. There is a Quaker saying: ''Let your life speak.'' Describe the environment in which you were raised--your family, home, neighborhood or community--and how it influenced the person you are today.

I have acknowledged by now that the only way to achieve success is through hard work. Growing up in a home where everything I needed or wanted was provided for, I never recognized what my life of comfort and stability symbolized. 266 Sargent Road had always appeared to me as a starting point. My mind constantly revolved around the idea that escaping 266 Sargent Road was the only way I could truly succeed.

When my grandparents first moved into our house, I perceived their attitudes to be generally critical of my brother and I. "Look at your mother and father and where they have ended up. You and your brother should be even more successful with all that they have given you." I have heard this comment throughout my entire childhood up until today. I had never perceived it with any positive connotations before, as if my grandparents were consistently comparing me to my parents. I felt an immense amount of pressure to meet these expectations while being constantly reminded that I would owe my successes and achievements to my parents.

As I grew up, the perceptions that I had for my home changed dramatically. I recognized that the home I resided in held different meanings for everyone in my family. For my grandparents, my house represented the success they had in raising their children. My parents viewed my home as the fruits of their efforts. And myself? I see my home as a symbol for what hard work can achieve. I now recognize the foundation that my parents have selflessly provided for me. My home represents the potential successes that my future could hold if I modeled the determination and willpower that my parents had possessed.
lillyforlunch   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / How to approach Amherst Supplement on Science [10]

Hey twizzlestraw,

I think you can definitely talk about medicine but definitely focus on the research and advancement of it. And you could say that medicine is beautiful because its the application of scientific discoveries..

does that help?
lillyforlunch   
Dec 28, 2009
Undergraduate / 'enthusiasm for economics' - JHU supplement - why did you choose the major(s)? [3]

After 20 minutes of thorough search and rescue action, the familiar words "Trading Balance" were visible.

A visit to the Wall Street constructed an irrational feeling that I belong here in the future.

The 'business project' that we had to complete required us to put the economic theories into practice. I believe that nothing compares to experience, and this 10-day leadership course in New York City has certainly solidified economics as one of the subjects that I want to pursue in my tertiary studies.

Hey Ahnsik, here are just a few grammatical errors I found. Oh, and which of your two responses do you like better?
lillyforlunch   
Dec 19, 2009
Undergraduate / The importance of diversity as a prospective Rutgers student. [8]

Hey Naveena,

Great job overall!

Here's just a small grammatical issue I found:

When I came to understand how an appreciation for diversity evolved the Constitution from its humble, narrow origins to protecting the rights of the melting pot of our nation blind to caste, color, and creed, I was simply stunned by the realization that our nation's backbone is ultimately, diversity.

I also agree with Kevin, it'd be better to do without the first paragraph. You already have a great introduction in your second paragraph!

Best of luck,
L. Wang :)
lillyforlunch   
Dec 19, 2009
Undergraduate / major in biotechnology - Why Tufts? [4]

Thank you Kevin and Naveena for your input! :)

Here's my revised version:

Not only is Tufts a great place to pursue my major in biotechnology, I am also drawn to Tufts for the people. On a campus tour this summer, our tour guide shared an anecdote about one of her professors who lectured outdoors dressed as a pirate. That is the kind of creative learning environment I want to be in for the next four years. With an excellent biology department, abundant research opportunities for undergraduates, and a community of imaginative people, I know Tufts is the place for me.

I focus on two main points - Tufts' bio dept. and the people - should I focus on one? Is this clear enough?

Thanks!
lillyforlunch   
Dec 13, 2009
Undergraduate / Columbia essay (conveys to the reader a sense of who you are) [7]

Hey kattylad,

First off, I think you picked a great topic! I can totally relate since I went through a similar situation..

Here are a few grammatical corrections:

..all talking about their enthralling summers .
I would suggest replacing the word talking with a more descriptive verb.. perhaps chirping or sharing stories

Also, I'd suggest combining these two sentences for more fluidity:
I wanted a fairy tale ending. But, I did not get that.

Overall, great job. I understood your message at the end and I wish you the best of luck!
lillyforlunch   
Dec 13, 2009
Undergraduate / major in biotechnology - Why Tufts? [4]

Prompt: Which aspects of Tufts' curriculum or undergraduate experience prompt your application? In short: ''Why Tufts?'' (500 characters available)

With an outstanding biology department and abundant research opportunities for undergraduates, Tufts is the best place for me to pursue my major in biotechnology. However, what truly sparked my interest in Tufts was hearing anecdotes of students' unique experiences while visiting campus. I want to spend the next four years with professors who lecture outside dressed as pirates and students who build ski jumps on the steepest parts of campus for spontaneous ski sessions.

I have 25 characters left.. any suggestions for a cohesive ending?
Thanks so much!
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