Undergraduate / An academic experience (project)--Harvard Common Supplement Essay [4]

Well, here is the Common Supplement Essay for Harvard University.
An academic experience (course, project, paper or research topic) that has meant the most to you.
Thank you for reading and giving comments.^^

Education in China has long been a concern of mine because I feel there are many shortcomings that restrain the creativity and intellectual development of many students, particularly for those students who are poor or disadvantaged. For many years now, I've had a dream to open an educational company that would offer a genuine chance to these students and my longtime dream came true this past summer.

UT-CSEC, a ten-day camp held by the University of Toronto left me with unforgettable memories that I will carry on for the rest of my academic and professional life. The camp offered numerous seminars focused on business and finance such as "Analysis of Main Reasons For the Financial Crisis", "How to Set Up Your Own Company" along with courses about personality development such as "Strategies and Skills to Be Creative". It was a great experience to hear about the actual thoughts and experiences of working professionals because it provided a guide for me on my own thinking and what kind of goals to establish. My vague dreams of an educational company gradually became a clear and focused goal and I was ready to put the knowledge I learned into practice.

My future dream was to create an educational corporation that not only just delivers academic knowledge but also gives every child the right to obtain a true education. We will evaluate students comprehensively for the first time we meet them and then develop a series of individual courses to discover their potential talents and abilities. The saying that education nourishes the human mind is not exactly right because I believe the education must be tailored for each mind. An unsuitable education may sometimes be counterproductive and influence children's future negatively. For instance, in an evaluation, if we find that some students have a strong innate sense of rhythm and melody perception then we will have the student learn an appropriate musical instrument. Also, we offered senior psychologists try and tackle many teenagers' psychological problems and to provide constructive suggestions to better their lives. Nowadays, enormous stress and commercial advertisements may distort children's psychology and mind, which impedes the child's normal development, so physiological development would be particularly important. We would be a different and unique company because we focus on maximizing potential and not just providing a simple education.

As I began actually creating a business plan, I realized how difficult and tough creating a corporation can be and I became slightly overwhelmed with it all: a general abstract of the basic information of the company, an item introduction, the analysis of the market as well as the profit, marketing strategies, risk prevention and the development prospect. It was a long list but I tackled the job and then I objectively analyzed the current situation of the company, searched for updated information, and compared my situation with those cases exemplified in the seminars to focus on essential issues. I was in constant contact with seminar speakers for constructive suggestions, and finally came up with some creative ideas and planning aimed at making my company innovative, unique and marked by efficiency.

After long and winding journey, the "China Qin Shu Education Company" came to life, with "Qin Shu" the Chinese words for "cultivating each equal life" which embodies my wish for equal educational opportunities for every child as well as my intense desire to make up for the deficiency in China's education and lack of opportunities for disadvantaged children. The business camp gave me hands-on feel of the life cycle of creating the seed of an idea all the way to the birth of a fully planned company. This was a powerful experience and showed me how knowledge and dedication are vital now and in the future to make my dreams a reality and I am thankful for this revelation and will cherish the experience as I face my future.

Undergraduate / Personal Essay for the Columbia College--the circumstance of my upbringing [5]

Columbia University doesn't accept Common Application or Universal Application.
So this is the only essay it required for its own application form.
Therefore, this is really very important and significant.
Thank you for reading and giving me some harsh comments.
(Please remember that we are concerned not only with the substance of your prose but with your writing style as well. We prefer that you limit yourself to approximately 250-500 words (or 1-2 pages).)

Sorry for writing a little long.
But I have no idea how to abbreviate it.
Hope you can help.

Once, for a long time I considered myself lived the fist eighteen years in my life paradoxically----wonderfully and painfully. The former nine years, wonderfully; the latter half, painfully.

From the moment I was born, I was treated as the apple of my family's eyes. Pink dresses, pretty dolls, attractive hair decorations...everything I desired to own would finally be mine. Every requirement I gave can be catered to. Never beat or even scolded seriously by my parents, I was coddled by them instead. I held the conviction that the best should always be left to me. Since I was the only child of the family, I never would like to, and never needed to consider others' feelings. Moreover, I was sent to learn dancing, piano, calligraphy and other talents that I wanted to learn. For nine years, I was saturated in that kind of warm and carefree circumstance; my life was always that smooth and happy. And I just believed that, life would always like that. In this way, I ushered in the tenth year of my life.

One night, my parents quarreled intensely and even fought with each other for some trivial things I do not remember anymore. I do remember it was the fiercest one that they threw things around and it ended up with the cold war between them. Who knows that the abominable war just continued and never ended up, even until now? They divorced and at first time I began to realize that life is not always that smooth. From then on, I started to live a totally different life.

After that, one day, suddenly, my mother brought a man home and made me call him "father". I still remember that at that moment I became tongue-tied and ran away in panic and in tears. Henceforth, I had to face to a group of new people and to live a new life, not positively or inspiringly new. Each of my behaviors had to be considered cautiously and prudently by me in order to cater to the harsh and unreasonable requirements of my step-father, for every negligent act would be notified by him to mother, exaggeratedly, which hence led to the accusations of my mother. The daughter of the step-father, who was also my younger step-sister that was eight years younger than me, was taken the most care of. I felt it exceedingly unfair and unacceptable to make such a change. No matter what she did, bad or even disastrous, I would like to scold her severely but should always forgive her, for it was the regulation I had to comply with without complaint. Sometimes even if I was "bullying" by her unreasonably, no one believed, or no one would like to believe that it was her fault. Once, a brand new stationery set I just bought flew without wings. I asked my sister that whether she had taken it away. She applied to me with a simple "no". But in my surprise, afterwards she just cried and even told her father that I slandered her. I was severely reprimanded by mother and step-father. Although a few days later the stationery set was found in room, no one prepared to give me an apology and the matter was no longer be mentioned. Therefore, "fortunately", every time I was accused of as the wrongdoer, but in my heart I was clear enough that I was actually the victim. In order to give my step-sister a complete family in her most significant phase of her growth, mother always went to my step-father's own house to accompany them. As a result, many nights I had to cook and live on my own. Also, many holidays, mother went to step-father's hometown, leaving me alone. I had to take care of myself for several days or even weeks. Therefore, I forced myself to be independent. In truth, at first, all those were the impossible tasks for me, for I never met that kind of situations in the first carefree nine years of my life. But I just completed those tasks one by one and saw them as the normal parts later in my life. Without my parents' holding my hands, I went to school and have ballet and piano lesson alone. Without my parents' gaze, I danced ballet or played piano on the stage for the first time aware of that the audience were still there. Without my parents' guide, I cooked without any experience but gradually gained more and more experience. Without my parents' help, I could no longer do nothing but scream when seeing some bugs or cockroaches which always made me feel sick at home; instead, I had to deal with those evil things all by my own. But really, luckily, in the end, I tackled with all of them well and learned to become optimistic. Gradually I found that the toughness I faced was more like a habit. I simply got used to acting that way. I got used to being independent because my mother and step-father paid little attention to me and I was forced to face and solve problems myself. So my way to the school was till completed alone but with bright songs. I got used to being responsible, for I had to try my best to fulfill the obligation of being an elder sister. So every time I got some great gadgets I would share some with my sister; when she fell asleep on the sofa, I would put a blanket over her; when she broke the vase, I would comfort her and take the responsibility. I got used to being tolerant and considerate, for I was no longer the only child in the family and I learned to tolerate and concede my sister as well as other people. So if she broke into my room and sneaked my things I would forgive her and tried to correct her bad habits by teaching her patiently; when there is only one good thing I would no longer select to possess it like I used to do but to give it to sister or the one who really needed that. I got used to being optimistic, for only in that way could I get through those difficulties. With these "habits", I lived the next nine years of my life, treating hardships as components of life rather than bafflements.

Now, I consider myself live the former nine years wonderfully and latter half meaningfully. The latter nine years is no longer painful for me, and I, on the contrary, would like to thank the experiences and years sincerely. Though I can not deny that sometimes I still miss those days when I could do casual and unrestrained arbitrary behaviors at my pleasure, I do not indulge in it, and this experience is the valuable treasure in my life. And thanks to those nine years, I am now strong in mind, strong in heart.

Undergraduate / "the endless pain of the ballet" - Common Application Main Essay [6]

This is my second Main Essay.
Because I want to use different essays according to different colleges in order to cater to the requirements and fondness of them.
Thank you for reading and giving me some suggestions.^^

I choose the first topic--Evaluate a significant experience you have faced and its impact on you.

I never had a natural skill at dance but one day, like coming down from the heaven above, The Royal Ballet came to give a performance of "Swan Lake" at Shenzhen Grand Theater. The special ballerina shoes, the coiling hair; everything about ballet locked my eyes onto the dancers and the performance, and from that experience, I was addicted to the world of ballet. Watching those white swans swimming blessedly in a placid lake and enjoying the warmth of the sun and coolness of the water, I excitedly pointed at those ballet dancers, exclaiming to my mother sitting next to me, "That's me!" and launching my dream right there and then.

As soon as I threw myself into the ballet, I discovered its greatest hardship: the endless pain from pressing legs and hips into unnatural shapes, pressing the instep into extreme litheness, bending down backward and so on, all of which are the essential foundational elements of a ballet class, meaning I was in constant pain. Ballet is art on tiptoes but I clearly remember the frequent scenes where my dance teacher held a stick and hit me whenever I tried to be insolent or wasn't up to her standards on a certain movement. I was always that little girl limping around after classes because of being injured from falling, being hit, or dozens of other things during a class. The initial inspiration from watching the Royal Ballet was now quickly fading and I constantly thought about quitting. Ballet became something toilsome and not attractive. Almost every night of the first year I danced ballet I would awake at night thinking about why I was suffering day after day more than my peers. I never did find a real reason for me to continue the suffering but I also didn't find a reason to quit, so I didn't quit and pressed on, working harder than anyone else.

I was then assigned to take part in the International Youth Ballet Competition held in Germany because of my previous good performance. After everyone's performance, the backstage scene was like a nightmare with girls bandage their injured feet, calling out because of painful legs, shaking like a leaf due to the great nervousness. I asked them as well as asked myself in my heart, "Why do they still insist and why should I also persist? Why go through the pain and anguish and sacrifice?" At that very moment, my question was answered, as if from a cosmic force, for I was called to go up on stage...to accept the prize as grand champion of the competition! Upon hearing that sweet and powerful announcement from the hostess, I knew I would remember that moment forever. Among thousands of competitors, I was the champion! I can still vividly recall running excitedly to the stage in great surprise to accept the golden cup prize together with a certificate written in German, which I didn't understand at all but still reading it carefully and breathlessly in front of four smiling judges. As I inched my way forward with the heavy cup, I could almost imagine it filled with all the hardships, pain, sacrifice, and work I had dealt with to get to that winning point in time. But at that very moment, I knew the dark journey was worth the bright destination.

The fantastic achievement motivated me to be persistent in reaching my goals and when in doubt, to work harder and ignore any self-doubts and to always "endure a little longer." If ever I got to the point of giving up, I could think about the dedicated girls I observed in Germany and I would become emboldened to continue whatever I was doing. With a newfound inner strength, I was able to follow my own advice and "endure a little longer" in every situation and I discovered that the more I could endure, the less intolerable a situation would be. During the process, I learned to be strict with myself and completed every movement as perfectly as possible; I learned to be not egotistical and rebellious; I learned to be no give up halfway and leave things unfinished; I learned to be responsible for my own faults and indolence; I learned to be independent, for I had to face all the difficulties as well as the injuries by myself. And finally, I learned to be eternally optimistic towards the adversities I encountered, because I realized that to "endure a little longer" was the first step in conquering any obstacle, no matter how difficult. From then on, ballet was not only a major part in my life in terms of time, but became significant to me from an emotional standpoint. I began to treat ballet as a kind of cultivation and enjoyment rather than the sore task I considered previously. The hardships in practicing were still there and degree of difficulty didn't decrease but, in fact, increased. However, these aspects of ballet no longer seemed like impossible mountains to climb, but simply tasks that needed time and patience to conquer.

Ballet has not only given me graceful movement and a beautiful figure, but has taught me how to deal with life and achieve my goals. Struggling during the first years of learning ballet gave me strength and understanding as a person and I am more mature from the experience. I will be forever grateful for the experience of learning ballet because through that art, I am now strong in mind, strong in body, and strong in spirit.

Undergraduate / calligraphy + the English Corner I found -Short Answer of the Common Application [9]

Short Answer--Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences(150 words).

This is my short answer of the Common Application
There are two versions. I have no idea which is better.
Please read them and give me some suggestions. Thank you very much.^^

The first one is describing the calligraphy.

I started learning calligraphy at barely six years old and would for the first time sit steadily for six hours, adjusting my brush and practicing a single word. Every Sunday, I unrolled the rice paper, ground the ink, and practiced writing. Calligraphy is a fine and delicate art and even holding a brush is a meticulous skill that is learned. Also, since calligraphy is based on using only as many strokes as necessary, I should complete characters in one artistic stroke. In this way, composure and accuracy are significant. No matter the situation, upon holding a brush, I feel a subtle artistic energy throughout my body and then a miraculous power that motivates me to focus. Calligraphy has given me the ability to concentrate on whatever thing I am doing, no matter how harsh the external conditions are, and this ability has proven useful in art and even academics.

The second version is elaborating on the English Corner I found.

I founded an English Corner in Shenzhen because I discovered that most people were too busy to learn English and had no opportunity to practice. I believe Shenzhen has to master English for practical purposes and to join the ranks of other international cities. I posted the flyers about the English Corner throughout the city, wrote posts on Internet forums, told every person I met. Soon, there were sixty members and I created different departments such as a logistics department, liaison department for finding sponsors, a promotions department, and even a finance department. Every day I spent hours interacting with every department head and my hard work resulted in one of the best English corners in Shenzhen. I truly believe this service we offer serves to contribute to Shenzhen's success development into an international metropolis over the next decades.

Undergraduate / "Mathematician With Love of Arts" -- Common Application Main Essay [5]

Here is my main essay for the Common Application.
I didn't choose any given topic. This is my own topic.
I want to say some of my ideas and concepts that I want to demonstrate through this essay.
I desire to show that I am not only perceptual but also rational.
My perceptual quality is nurtured because of my devote to arts.
And my rational quality, however, can be presented thoroughly when facing mathematics.
Sincerely hope that you can give me some suggestions. Thank you~^^

Putting on my ballerina shoes and then sectioning my hair to pigtails are the physical routines that get me ready to enter the world of ballet. The next step is the mental preparation for the performance, and that begins with understanding the role, creating the character, and then becoming that character. This intense preparation helps ballet performers interpret the characters more accurately and more vividly, giving the audience as well as herself or himself a better experience of the performance. When a new character is given to me, I mentally prepare myself to embody that character, immediately and naturally. So if I am to be a white swan, I imagine I am swimming blessedly in a limpid lake, enjoying the warmth of the sun and coolness of the water. I am revealing my fresco movements with my extended arms, a contented smile and brisk jumps. As a female pirate, I am sailing the ship fiercely, always ready to rob other vessels in the sea-I make fierce jumps and sharp movements, highlighting the treacherous and dastardly personality of my pirate self. Creativity and imagination are what I give ballet and ballet in turn endows me with a new perspective on dance and life, which leads to new creativity and imagination. I think many people don't understand ballet from this standpoint and I aim to share and educate people about the power of ballet through my exquisite dancing.

Piano is similar to ballet because it can inspire new creativity and imagination as well. Instead of movement and dance, the piano uses the power of melody, rhythm, and even the position of the head to reveal and stimulate feeling. A musical composition awaits me, a pianist, to interpret it perfectly for me. The mood and emotion the composer felt during the time he or she composed the musical work are infused into the notes and different interpretations. I interpret "Pathétique Piano Sonata" by Beethoven as full of strongly pathetic and dark emotion. Chopin's "Nocturnes," however, inspires me to create an interpretation of a tranquil and pensive atmosphere. While, when it comes to Mozart's "Don Giovanni", it requires a vivid performance to complement the music which is lively, relaxed and full of vitality. Every piano piece is actually imagined individually and not copied by other pianists, as some people may imagine, and so it's a great exercise in constant creativity and incorporating new ideas and emotions into even the oldest of pieces.

Ballet, piano and other arts share a deep potential power to inspire creativity and imagination that lead to my innovative thinking ability and a deeper understanding of the arts and society. However, when facing mathematics, my emotions become cold, and hard numbers and formulas take precedent.

When doing math, my structured logical thinking and analytical skills become the main things involved and I become strikingly rational. I almost become a different person with a different personality, forgetting about all the perceptual things, the rich emotion, the tears, the sensitivity, and the clairvoyance. As a result, I have done consistently well in mathematics throughout my life and have won numerous prizes in math competitions. Digits and formulas in mathematics contribute to the growth of my intellectual cognition and systematic analysis--the rational aspect of my disposition.

My devotion to dance and the arts relies on inspirational creativity and imagination. This is contrasted with my rational and intellectual approach to mathematics, where I highly concentrate on numbers and formulas. Both arts and mathematics render me fresh perspectives in viewing different aspects of society and life, and inspire new ideas. The inspirations I get from my two loves are what gives me the edge to succeed in the future and to achieve high goals.