Essays / Paper on Queen Elizabeth (I have a thesis statement) [5]

Good morning :)

You've got a good start here; how about this:

"Known for her endorsement of the arts, the childhood of Queen Elizabeth l vassilated(I believe the word you are searching for here is "vacillate", which means to hesitate; is that an appropriate description of her childhood? If her childhood was far from luxurious, you could say, "...Elizabeth I was cushioned with anything but the pompous surroundings one would expect from a pampered heir; instead it was closer to the dilapidation and neglect reserved for the bastard child of her father's new marriages.) A stunningly well-rounded and captivating individual, she rose through the ashes of her sister's reign to sit on the throne as one of E ngland's most successful and beloved rulers ."

I hope this helps!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Paper on Queen Elizabeth (I have a thesis statement) [5]

This one flows much nicer; I did remove some unnecessary commas:

"Known for her endorsement of the arts, Queen Elizabeth I rose throguh the ashes of her sister's reign to sit on the throne as one of England's most successful and beloved rulers. Despite a childhood that osillated from that of a doted on heir to a bastard neglected in the fray of her father's new marriages, she flourished into a stunningly well-rounded and captivating individual."

Good work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Grammar, Usage / Percent question: Is it correct? [4]

Good morning :)

1) Should be: "rate of 2 percent"
2) Should be: "Label is typically only thirty to fifty percent

The general rule of thumb is that if it is under ten, you can use the numeral; if it is ten or over, write out the words.

Hope this helps!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Grammar, Usage / Percent question: Is it correct? [4]

Good morning :)

You must be using the APA reference style; in that case, all numbers contained in mathematical functions and/or formulas (including percentages) should be written as numerals. If you are writing in another reference style, those rules will change; since you didn't specify in your last post, it is difficult for me to tell which you are using, hence my reference to a "general rule of thumb".

Regards,
Gloria,
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Book Reports / Essay on Hamlet - Ophelia as a victimized woman. [2]

Good morning :)

You have a very well structured and organized essay here. Your opinions are evidenced and supported by the text, giving them substance. I only have a few suggestions. First, in regards to format, check with your required citation style; some require that the lines from the poem be enclosed in quotation marks. Best to make sure so you don't get knocked down for not adhering to the citation format. Second, make sure there is a line between your paragraph and the text.

Essays / An outline about SOFTBALL VS. BASEBALL [4]

Good morning :)

Well, the rough skeleton of an outline should look something like this:

THESIS STATEMENT/INTRODUCTION
I. MAIN POINT
a) Supporting detail/fact
i) Example illustrating main point I
b) Supporting detail/fact
i) Example illustrating main point I

II. MAIN POINT
a) Supporting detail/fact
i) Example illustrating main point II
b) Supporting detail/fact
i) Example illustraing main point II

III. MAIN POINT
a) Supporting detail/fact
i) Example illustrating main point III
b) Supporting detail/fact
i) Example illustraing main point III

REPEAT AS NECESSARY

CONCLUSION

Now, you can using comparisons as your main points and contrasts as your supporting details or facts if you'd like, or you can use a comparison as a main point, then a contrasting, then a comparison, then a contrast, etc. for the duration of the essay, supporting the appropriate details and facts as you go along.

I suggest starting out by doing the body of the outline first. Figure out what you really want to say, and then we'll figure out how to format it later. What you say is more important than how the paper looks when you are finished; think content not cosmetic.

Once you know what the main points are that you'd like to touch on, (differences in the way the field is set up, player positions, rules, etc.) then jot down a quick fact that supports that main idea (the field is set up as such-and-such, etc.) then provide an example of that (an example of this can be seen at such-and-such stadium; they have this, that, and the other). Then move on to the next point, working your way through as many main points as you need.

Leave your thesis statment until last, because you won't know what you've written about until you've written it :); then bring up the rear with a conclusion, tying your thesis into your body in a nice little bundle.

I hope this helps you get started!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / 'household computers and internet' - Causal Analysis [2]

Good morning :)

Adding examples and/or details is always a good way to "beef up" an essay; just make sure they are concise and relevant to your points.You have good details about why these two sites are so popular; you could add your thoughts on why these young people decide to express themselves online rather than other ways. Does it offer a "safe distance", in that they can detach themselves from their profiles when they want to? Is the online community less judgmental than their peers? You could also explore a little bit of the history of these pages; how did they first appear? What were their original goals? You write "Teens have been known to spend anywhere from a few minutes a day to five or six hours on MySpace, editing their profiles, posting bulletins and pictures, along with listening to music and watching videos." Do you think this is healthy?

You've got a good start here, keep up the good work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Single-Sex Education Persuasive Research Paper [3]

Good morning :)

Your grammer is good throughout this essay, but there are some punctuation errors. When you quote something with quotation marks or through an inline citation with ellipses, the period always goes on the outside of the marks or the outside of the ellipse. For instance, "...children, leads to higher achievement." (Downs Par.2) While..." should be "...children, leads to higher achievement" (Downs Par.2). While..."

"...roughly fifteen percent. (NASSPE. Par.1). This..." should be "...roughly fifteen percent (NASSPE. Par.1). This..."

"... often grossly distorts the data to make a point."(24)" should be ""... often grossly distorts the data to make a point" (24). "

"An article on MSNBC's website written by the Associated Press in October of 2006 claims, "The Bush administration is giving pubic schools wider latitude to teach boys and girls separately in what is considered the biggest change to coed classrooms in more than three decades" (Par.1). "

"The lack of academic evidence, the faulty claims of success, and the promotion of sexual segregation is enough to make most turn away from single-sex institutions."

"...right to organize, prepare, and execute an..."

"To take that away and regress to the 1950's..."

Also, refrain from using contractions in academic texts; you use "it's" and "wouldn't"; these should be fully written out; "is not", "would not".

Check with your required citation style in regards to how to format titles; some styles would require Opposing Viewpoints: Education to be enclosed in quotation marks, while others require it be italicized.

What purpose did your instructor assign for this essay? Is it to be persuasive, an opinion piece, or just research? You have a good essay here; it is very informative, and you support your assertions with quality research. I thought your closing summed up your essay nicely; it rephrased what you wrote and reasserted your stance on the issue. There is an appropriate amount of irony in your title, which continues throughout your essay easily. Your flow between paragraphs is smooth, and your thesis statement coincides with your content. I think you've done fine work. When do you have to turn this in? If you can afford to, step away from it for a day. You are rereading your "mediocre" essay through eyes that have probably been "at it" for numerous days in a row; give it a break and come back to it with refreshed eyes. You'll be able to see it more clearly then.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / "Before Breakfast," Drama Essay [2]

Good morning :)

You have a good rough draft so far. You support your viewpoints with the text. It flows well so far, your hook is good, and you develop the point you make it it nicely.

As you continue, make sure your main focus stays on what you want your reader to know; don't get sidetracked by format and syntax yet in the first draft, as you can always do that later. Get in everything you want to say first. What is the focus of your essay? Are you writing an analysis or critique of the work?

Nice work!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Ban Smoking - Help critique my controversial/ethics essay [2]

You have made a very important observation; very frequently writers do reread a work the way they "intended" it; if there's ever a time that you can't get someone else to read it for you, my advice is to walk away and leave it alone for a day. When you return to read it it will be with fresh eyes that have had a break.

Graduate / Graduate School personal statement for Masters in Philosophy [3]

If you can, try and emphasize your specific accomplishments from your undergraduate career. What clubs or extracurricular activities were you a part of? Did you do volunteer work at all? Did you assist professors? Anything like that would expand your qualifications for this particular program. The same goes for your research interests. Try and outline for them exactly what it is you are interested in researching. Do you have a specific situation you are interested in? How would you like to go about conducting said research? Again, the more details you can give them, the more favorably they will look upon you because you are showing that you are a responsible, organized student serious about contributing to the academic community.

Undergraduate / My smart choice ; " Whay are you applying for AUC?" [2]

Try using the full title of the university as much as possible, and the abbreviation only minimally; this increases the formality of your essay, showing your respect for the university. You do a good job describing the reasons you want to attend the campus, and in great detail. Spend a little time explaining what area of study you intend on attending, and why the university fulfills your specific academic goals; this will ensure those reading your essay that you are a good fit for the school, and vice versa.

Writing Feedback / Topic 3: Any form of education other than co-education... [3]

Good afternoon.

Over 25% of this essay is plagairized from .enfang.com/english/2006-04/107.htm; as this site is copyrighted, I can only advise you to go back and rewrite the copied sections in your own words.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Abolish the death penalty!; Reasearch on DEATH PENALTY [4]

Good morning :)

Writing is not a linear process; with that said, it is very difficult to start at the beginning and work strictly to the end, as if you were driving from point "A" to point "B". You have some good base information; I suggest forming an outline that you can fill in as you progress. Remember when you are writing, the main point is to impart information to your audience, not to make nonsense look good. Here is a suggestion of what I mean:

THESIS STATEMENT/TOPIC SENTENCE (SAVE THIS FOR LAST)

I. MAIN IDEA/CONCEPT 1
A. FACT/SUPPORTING DETAIL FOR MAIN IDEA/CONCEPT 1
i) RESEARCH SUPPORTING FACT/DETAIL/MAIN IDEA/CONCEPT 1

II. MAIN IDEA/CONCEPT 2
A. FACT/SUPPORTING DETAIL FOR MAIN IDEA/CONCEPT 2
i) RESEARCH SUPPORTING FACT/DETAIL/MAIN IDEA/CONCEPT 2

REPEAT THIS PATTERN FOR THE REMAINDER OF YOUR CONTENT

CONCLUSION/WRAP UP

The main topics are the pillars of your essay; they are the supports, the main things your reader absolutely must know from your essay. Don't assume your audience knows anything; taking their knowledge for granted will lead you to leave large, gaping holes through the thoughts in your essay. Writing is a process of concentric circles; start in the middle with your main thoughts, then work to each fact/supporting detail, and then bring in your research; once your body is complete, wrap it up with a short conclusion, and save your thesis statement and introduction for last. After all, how can you write a thesis statement for a paper that hasn't been written yet?

During your rough and 2nd draft, don't pay much attention to grammar, spelling, etc.; concentrate on getting your thoughts and good information worked in. Also, don't worry about your length right off; as you go along you will find more interesting research and anecdotes that will "beef up" the body length. Use time to brainstorm and envision where you want your paper to go before you ever write a word. Save all of your mechanical concerns for the very end.

I hope this helps you get started; feel free to post as many times throughout this process as you need.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Book Reports / Could someone proofread my essay on Juxtaposition in Hamlet [2]

I suggest sitting down with what you already have and working out an outline to get more organized; right now your flow is very choppy and it is hard for the reader to stay with you. Make sure you are talking about things that are alike in one paragraph, and then complete all of your thoughts about that one thing before you move onto your next thought.

In your outline, start by writing down the main things you want to talk about in your essay. It seems like you want to talk about how contrast works as a theme throughout the whole work and support that idea with examples from the text. Start out with your first main idea being something like examples of contrast in character's personalities. Your next main topic could be examples of contrast in character's soliloquies. Your third could be contrast between dialogue and setting, and so on until you are sure you've got all the main points down you want to tell your reader about. Once you have those, go ahead and list all of the evidence that supports your main point (personalities); explain how Hamlet and Ophelia are different; how Hamlet's uncle/stepfather is different than his biological father, etc. until you have listed everything you want to use to support your thought. Next, gather all of the examples you have found that show contrast in the character's talk and speech; for the third topic, gather all of your evidence that shows contradicting speech with settings (the gravediggers' discussion in the graveyard).

This will help you get all of your thoughts rounded up, and as you work through this organization, you will find other examples that will help strengthen each of your arguments.

I hope this helps.

Essays / Essay about a trapped room; Need help to start / theme [8]

Good afternoon :)

What is the purpose of the essay? Are you supposed to persuade someone that being in a trapped room is positive/negative? Are you to argue the pros/cons of being in a trapped room? Are you to describe a time you were trapped in a room? Are you to describe the emotions one might feel upon being trapped in a room? Are you to describe claustrophobia? Is this a creative piece? Who is your audience? Taking your purpose and audience into consideration will help you get started on your essay. First figure out why you are writing the piece and who you are writing it for; if you are writing for someone who has been trapped in a room before you will have to construct your piece differently if you are writing it to someone who has never been in that situation.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Essay about a trapped room; Need help to start / theme [8]

Good evening.

Well, it sounds like your imagination is going to be your best tool here. You could begin off with how your person got in the room to begin with. Next you will just have to imagine what their feelings are. What kind of person are they? Are they brave and heroic, or frightened and cowardly? Do they know how they got in the room, or not? Are they able to figure a way out, or not?

Begin by setting a timer for 10 minutes, and spend this time brainstorming what kind of person your character is, and what kind of situation got them into this room. Write down anything that comes to mind. Next, set the timer for 10 more minutes and brainstorm how this type of person would feel under these circumstances; again, writing down anything that comes to mind. Since your essay sounds like it is supposed to spend most of its time describing how the person feels, you might end up spending more time on this section.

Once you've got your brainstorming finished, you can begin to piece the story together. Don't worry about spelling, grammar, and punctuation until way later; focus first on developing your character and explaining how they are feeling.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / I have some questions: Old and middle english literature. Poetry & history [4]

Good evening :)

It sounds like you need to do some research. Because these questions are in regards to your specific course content, I suggest beginning with internet searches including your keywords; try your questions in strings just as you wrote them here. You can also check with your university or your academic advisor and they may be able to connect you with study groups that specialize in this topic.

As for examples showing you how to organize them, you can search here under "Educational Essays and Articles." I don't know if you will find anything specific to this exact topic, but there are some good essays posted there. I suggest grouping like questions together in successive paragraphs so that the essay flows well; try not to get all of your topic questions strung out through the essay.

I hope this helps you get started.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / I have some questions: Old and middle english literature. Poetry & history [4]

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Essay about a trapped room; Need help to start / theme [8]

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Book Reports / The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe Essay. [3]

Good afternoon :)

I suggest starting out with an outline. You can use each of your literary techniques as main pillars to support the rest of your essay. An outline skeleton can look like this:

THESEIS STATEMENT/INTRODUCTION

I. MAIN IDEA/TOPIC (Allusion, for example)
A. SUPPORTING DETAIL/FACT (why is this technique important to the work?)
i) SUPPORTING RESEARCH CITED FROM TEXT (examples, one at a time, of how the author used allusion throughout the text)

II. MAIN IDEA/TOPIC (Symbolism, for example)
A. SUPPORTING DETAIL/FACT (why is this technique important to the work?)
i) SUPPORTING RESEARCH CITED FROM TEXT (examples, one at a time, of how the author used symbolism throughout the text)

III. MAIN IDEA/TOPIC (Setting, for example)
A. SUPPORTING DETAIL/FACT (why is this technique important to the work?)
i) SUPPORTING RESEARCH CITED FROM TEXT (examples, one at a time, of how the author used setting throughout the text)

CONTINUE THIS PATTERN UNTIL ALL OF YOUR MAIN POINTS ARE INCLUDED.

CONCLUSION

WORKS CITED PAGE

Start with your main pillars first, then work your way out; don't do your thesis/introduction until absolutely last. While working on this first draft, don't worry about punctuation, grammar, and spelling. Instead focus on content; what do you absolutely want to include in your paper? What is vital for your reader to know? Don't assume your reader knows too much, that will lead to you leaving large holes throughout the essay because you think they know what you are talking about when they don't, leading to confusion. Give yourself plenty of time, and brainstorm throughout to create new ideas.

I hope this helps you get started.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Book Reports / My intro on comparative essay using King Lear and The Tempest [5]

Good evening :)

Since this topic is specific to your course content, I suggest beginning with an internet search using keywords such as "King Lear" and "physical, spiritual journey." You can also contact your college or academic advisor, as they may be able to connect you with study groups that know more about your specific topic.

Once you have written your essay, feel free to post it here and I can help you organize and edit it.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Super Rod - Essay about a super hero, I have a plot. [4]

The biggest thing I can see with your essay is your tense confusion; you started out in past tense, switched to present tense, and then fell back intermittently into past tense. Choose a tense and stick to it all the way through an essay consistently.

The plot is a scheme or plan to do something; neither the electrocution or the allergy is your plot here. The closest thing you have to a plot is his love for restoring the old cars to help teenagers.

I hope this helps you.

Undergraduate / Karim, an American girlfriend and more - help with my admission essay [4]

Good afternoon.

What is the purpose of this essay? What are your instructor's goals for this assignment?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / A day at the mall with/without kids - Descriptive essay [4]

Good afternoon.

In regards to your question about viewpoint, it depends on what you are most comfortable with. The most important thing about it is that you are consistent throughout your text; be very careful about slipping from first person into third. Pick one and stay with it.

In regards to writing pros and cons, again that depends on what you are comfortable with. It seems like the instructor wants you to concentrate on putting yourself in someone else's shoes and rely on your imagination to describe how he or she feels with their newfound freedom or constraints, respectively. If you can effectively weave the good and bad points about both sides, then by all means try it; see how it works out. If you're not comfortable with the outcome, scrap it and start over.

Start out brainstorming a rough draft and see where it goes; you'll have a better idea of where you can take the essay after a rough draft is created. Once you have a rough draft, you can post it here and I can go through it for you.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Super Rod - Essay about a super hero, I have a plot. [4]

You are very welcome. As long as you are aware that tense is an issue for you, you know to look out for it. If you have time, a good suggestion is to put your essay away for a day or two; don't peek at it, don't adjust it, just leave it be. After that separation time, come back to it and reread it; things like tense switches will just jump out at you!

Good luck!

Writing Feedback / Literary Analysis Comparative Essay - suggestions for improvement welcome! [6]

A detour taken by the family in "A Good Man is Hard to Find" wreaks havoc, while the wrong path taken by "Young Goodman Brown" leads himWho? to despair.

While different in many ways, both stories show how abandoning one's Christian faith can allow evil to creep into one's life .

She does not value her life as it is, but longs for her life in the past.

In Hawthorne's "Young Goodman Brown", Brown's wife, Faith, pleads with him not to leave on his journey, but he is determined to go his own way.

The Misfit, withdrawing ever deeper into the dank recesses of his memories, hardly seems to hear her words, or even to notice her, until she mentions Jesus. And then, misjudging his reaction, she makes the great mistake of reaching out to touch him.This is taken word-for-word from findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2455/is_n1_v33/ai_19638483/pg_5. Make sure you are properly citing any work that is not yours properly; this copy should either be in quotation marks or in block format, depending on your citation requirements.

Hawthorne's Brown represents human beings confronted with temptation or trying to satisfy their curiosity.

In the end Brown loses his wife Faith, and his spiritual faith.

You make some provocative points here; good job.

Undergraduate / Karim, an American girlfriend and more - help with my admission essay [4]

Good morning.

If this is not an academic assignment for a class, unfortunately I cannot assist you. This site is for academic writing assistance. If this were an academic assignment, which you say it is not and make no reference to academics, the situation would be different. I suggest you seek paid writing services to fulfill your needs.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Writing Feedback / Literary Analysis Comparative Essay - suggestions for improvement welcome! [6]

Good morning.

Well, your assertions are supported by the text, if you have made the corrections you should be properly cited, and your essay stays right on your thesis. I think everything fits together nicely. Your main points flow together nicely, your transitions are smooth, and the reader can follow your train of thought clearly.

Looks good to me!

Good luck!

Writing Feedback / Literary Analysis Comparative Essay - suggestions for improvement welcome! [6]

Good afternoon :)

Citation is tricky, but MLA is pretty straight forward and to the point. It looks like your first resource is an online article, but I couldn't find it at the address you listed; is it correct? Your article is from an online subscription service, and as such, here is the MLA model for the inline citation:

(Author's last name)

So, yours should look like this:

"The Misfit, withdrawing ever deeper into the dank recesses of his memories, hardly seems to hear her words, or even to notice her, until she mentions Jesus. And then, misjudging his reaction, she makes the great mistake of reaching out to touch him" (Bandy).

A works cited entry model would look like this:

Author's Last Name, First Name. "Article Title." Publication Name Publication date. Location date <webaddress>.

So, yours should look like this:

Bandy, Stephen C. "One of my babies": the misfit and the grandmother - in Flannery O'Connor's short story 'A Good Man Is Hard to Find.' Studies in Short Fiction NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED Wntr 1996. 09 Jun. 2008 <findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2455/is_n1_v33/ai_19 638483/pg_1>.

As far as the second citation, it should be formatted inline as follows:

In O'Connor's "A Good Man is Hard to Find", the story begins with the family planning a trip to Florida. The grandmother is a manipulative woman. She does not value her life as it is, but longs for her life in the past. "People are certainly not nice like they used to be" (Author Last Name 455).

Works Cited as such:

First Edition:

Author Last Name, First. Name of Book NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED . Publishing City, Publishing State: Name of Publishing Company, Year Published.

Subsequent Editions:

Author Last Name, First. Name of Book NEEDS TO BE UNDERLINED . Edition Number formatted as: 8th ed. or 3rd ed. or 2nd ed. etc. Publishing City, Publishing State: Name of Publishing Company, Year Published.

If you use your lit book as a source, you most definately have to cite it.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / A day at the mall with/without kids - Descriptive essay [4]

Good morning :)

You do have a very descriptive essay here. My concern is that it is not describing both sides. The subject, as you posted it, is to write about a trip to the mall from the viewpoint of someone with kids and someone without them. I'm assuming that you didn't have kids on your trip :) with that said, it sounds like the other half of this essay is to write it from the viewpoint of one of those parents whose children are dragging them around the mall.

Make sure you stick with one tense and perspective throughout your essay; you slip from third into first, past into present, periodically throughout the paper. First person present tense is tricky, and if you choose to keep it, make sure you stay there throughout.

The conclusion seems a bit abrupt, but if you add in the second element of the viewpoint of the person with kids, you'll have more material to rework that ending.

Writing Feedback / "Promised end" the soul yearns for to be thwarted by the demand of history [3]

Good afternoon :)

It seems like it is a philosophical statement similar to "history is bound to repeat itself". Whatever the soul wants, if the actions of others are not heeded in order to get it, is bound to repeat their mistakes.

What do you think?

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Essay intro; The injustices of women have been present throughout time [2]

"(indent) The injustices delivered upon women have been present throughout time. Now, entering our time and age, the attitude towards women has drastically changed in our society. Presently, we can firmly justify that women are equal to men. Women play roles in our society that no other time period has ever allowed, though in most parts of the world the equality of women ceases to exist. In Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns (title underlined), situated in the fatherland of Afghanistan, Mariam, a naďve young girl, is born into an unfavourable situation and lives a life of hardship . Living in an unjust society with a corrupt government which does not acknowledge the rights of women and has been torn by jihad (war), Mariam travels on a journey. She begins as a suppressed child who later becomes an harshly abused wife, but grows into a strong woman with a sturdy head on her shoulders.In correlation with feminist criticismI'm unsure as to what you mean here; you are appying feminist criticism to the text, so perhaps you can rewrite this to something like, "The liberation Mariam goes through, although reliant on Laila, is paramount to feminine criticism. Although an abused woman like Mariam, Laila provides the strength and inspiration Mariam requires to stand up for her freedom; not just herself and those she loves, but for all Afghan women."

I hope this helps.

Poetry / Gone gone again by Edward Thomas [4]

Good morning.

Pastoral refers to rural or country life and its entrapments. A farmer is said to live in a pastoral landscape, or what we today call a rural landscape or "the country". In poetry, the pastoral form relies upon conveying rural life in a peaceful, idealized way; for example the nicer aspects of the lives of shepherds or dairy farmers.

The direct contrast of the pastoral form in this poem, is of course, the chaos of war. How can one live in perfect harmony with nature when the battle zone is all around?

I think the first stanza simply refers to time going by; I don't think you can really infer anything about the war as of yet, he is just commenting on how much time has gone by.

Can he be talking about the months he mentioned in the first stanza? Nothing much happened during that time, save for the fact that the time passed.

Who do you think the lost one was?
In the next stanza he begins to talk of the old abandoned house; where is it located? In the city or the country? What do the empty shells of the houses and the vulnerability of windows without panes say about those who have experienced war?

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Grammar, Usage / I was wondering if my MLA Citation Style is correct [2]

Good morning :).

MLA citation is very straightforward and has specific rules for every kind of citation. There are many great websites out there that can help you find specific models; search the internet using keywords such as "MLA citation examples" and you will find tons.

It looks like you have a good grasp on your citation, just a few pointers. When you are citing from an author, use their last name and page number or paragraph number only. For instance, (Froude, James 330) should be formatted as (Froude 330). Now, since the Shulman citation is from an article found on a website, the inline citation for it should read (Schulman) with the last name only. As far as the (How Well Do Babies See? Eye Focusing Influences Infant Brain Development) citation, when you are working from an online article found with no author, you are right (except enclose the title in quotation marks and put the period outside the final ellipse); the same goes for the (How Well Do Babies See? Eye Focusing Influences Infant Brain Development) citation.

On your works cited page, make sure the titles of any paper-and-ink books used the titles are underlined (the site doesn't let us see or do that, so I'm not sure if you've got that). You have your alphabetical order right, make sure you are using hanging indents for those that are longer than one line.

Watch your caps:

" "What is Object Permanence?" C onjecture C orporation . 15..."

"Help your B aby E very D ay."

"Baby's F irst Y ear: Developmental M ilestones."

"Your F ive-M onth-O ld."

And your spaces:

Schulman , Lisa . Should be:
Schulman, Lisa.

These are just a few tips; I strongly suggest you find a website that you can model from, because I'm unsure as to what form all of your sources are. If you find a good site, you'll have no problem figuring out what format for each type of source. I think you've got a good handle on it, just watch the "little" things.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Research Papers / Marketing Paper: Golf Ball Product Category [4]

Good afternoon.

Make sure that any exchange of information on this topic is not posted to this forum; any exchange of such information needs to be done by more appropriate means such as email.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Undergraduate / Apple Inc. has maintained an image synonymous with stunning modern design, appealing usability [4]

Good afternoon.

17% of this essay is plagiarized from various websites. Ensure that you are properly citing your sources and then post again.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Poetry / Gone gone again by Edward Thomas [4]

Good afternoon.

The great thing about interpreting poetry is that there is not "right" or "wrong" answer; as long as you support your opinions, you are entitled to them. He could be talking about an old friend, who else is possible? What about the citizens of Blenheim? Your interpretation of dung is correct, therefore the bodies of the dead are decomposed. I am unfamiliar with the town of Blenheim; is it a rural community? Is it a small town? Is it a real place?

As far as the last question, you have already stated that the houses are empty; nothing grows there except wild grass. Therefore, these homes are shells of what they once were; places where life was contained and encouraged, but not anymore. Does this make their constructs more fragile? There is no one there to care for them anymore, and they are left to depend upon their own organic strengths alone to survive as long as they can. What are the ramifications of windows without panes of glass? These homes are shells of their former selves, you have already conceded that; would panes of glass make a difference in their defenses? Would they offer any kind of protection against intruders or the elements? How are the people the war left behind like these empty, helpless, standing shells; are their lives vacant, where no happiness can grow? Try to connect the two.

What are your thoughts on 7,8, and 9? Your immediate, without-too-much-thought, reflexive impressions? Remember, as long as you support your reasoning and tell me why, there is no right or wrong answer.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Help with PLA essay [4]

Good afternoon.

PLAs are Prior Learning Assessments; the length and frequency of them are up to the course/program instructor/director. They provide credit through learning from your coursework, training, any volunteer work you have done, and also your personal life. PLAs mainly focus on the combination of your coursework and these experiences to obtain your educational purposes, and usually measure the quality of your experiential learning using standards such as the Kolb Model, which assumes that learning involves individual reflection upon experiences that illustrate certain ideas or theories likened to those found in traditional college classrooms, as grading guidelines. Some schools require additional PLA courses in preparation for the final project. The specifics of your project depend on your instructor and institution. Since each project is uniquely individual, there are no real formulas or models to rely on to create your own. I suggest contacting your academic advisor for further support options relating to your specific class; there may be study groups or centers on campus that can assist you further.

Good luck!

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com

Essays / Help with PLA essay [4]

That sounds like a very good plan. Begin your research by doing an internet search for "Kolb Model" that will bring up information you can use to begin your outline. As you work through it, the process will make more sense. You can also search for "ELT" or experiential learning theory, which will help you understand Kolb's theory.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com