Undergraduate / "passion for economics" - your intellectual interests (Cornell University Essay) [2]

Hello,
my essay was gone over by my writing tutor (but not thoroughly)

not considering grammar mistakes, what errors do you see?

Thanks in advance!

Reputable Economics Research Program

My passion for economics had been veiled until I was 16. When I was little I was rather engrossed in mathematics in which I excelled many other students and in fact, I did not even know what the term economics was. It was when I had a job at my father's company that I first touched economics and got truly absorbed into it.

In the summer, I volunteered to work at my father's company to spend my vacation somewhat meaningfully. Honestly, I was expecting to have a trivial job such as a carrier and even a sweeper! My father, however, gave me a position of arranging business transaction documents saying that I'd better face the real world problems and learn how to deal with them. Impressed by his trust, I tried my best at the workplace and attempted not to make any mistake. Although putting financial papers in order and create statistical graphs were so intricate, since I had never dealt with them, I found them out quite interesting and fascinating. Not only was I soon accustomed with my duty but also I could handle it easily due to my experienced math skill. By combining my strongest aptitude and everyday world economy, I discovered an intellectual interest that I never had before.

As I showed my zeal and effort toward the economics, my position heightened progressively. Unlike before when I only managed with trivial and small job, I now moved to the upper department. There, I learned about economics more specifically. Many experienced employees taught me the difference between macro and microeconomics and how they are applied to everyday world. As I noticed that a number of factors near us hugely impact on our economy, I became more intrigued in it. I remember I was stunned when I heard that even one counterfeit paper money can result in huge financial crisis!

Despite my priceless experience at my father's company, I felt not so good when I realized that my father's company was suffering from recession. Due to fund shortage, my father was pressured to fire some of his close workers. I felt powerless and morose when I saw my father's tears flow his cheek since there was nothing I could do to help him. Since then, I promised myself that I will become a world-renowned economist and save the downturn economy.

Cornell has high quality academics and reputable research program. The Department of Economics offers a combination of theoretical and analytical rigor, and concern for the "real world" problems. Nonetheless, what attracted me the most about Cornell University is that it offers a seminar that "facilitates collaboration among economists and psychologists and draws students into faculty research." Interaction and cooperation are the key factors to grasp the true nature of economics and to create the better economy. Regarding this, Cornell is my number one choice and I feel Cornell University can guide me toward my future path and thus help me revive my father's company and further out, the entire economy of the world.

Undergraduate / (economics research and study) - What academic do you see yourself exploring at Penn? [5]

Hello,
this is essay for University of Pennsylvania
I used my internship at my father's company to answer the question
but am worried that it is not specific and touching..
Could you please leave some comments on my essay?
Thanks!

Considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader University of Pennsylvania community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at Penn? (Max.250 words)

Since I was 16, I worked at my father's company because I was engrossed in economics and business and wanted to experience the real world problems. Although I earned many things through arranging financial and trade documents, I felt gloomy looking at my father who had to dismiss some employees due to economic depression. Recollecting my father's tears, I promised myself to become a world-renowned economist and rescue the world from slump.

Considering this, I feel University of Pennsylvania is the perfect place. Its Economics Department, located in the School of Arts and Sciences, ranked among the top ten in the U.S, offers rigorous academic and aims to "improve the analytical capacity and literacy in economics," which I was definitely looking for. I also feel thrilled with Pennsylvania's picturesque campus in the heart of Philadelphia, its lively city, and substantial investment to make better community. At there, I won't be disrupted by noise or brawl and can focus on strong academic foundation established by Benjamin Franklin.

At the University of Pennsylvania, I am ready to devote myself into economics research and study. Although the process of finding remedy for stagnation requires a great amount of perspiration and perseverance, I will certainly dedicate myself to get answers. I feel University of Pennsylvania can guide me to achieve my goal. My promise of finding a solution to economic downturn will never be abated until I dissipate my father's frowned face and wipe his tears by reviving his company and further out, the entire world.

Undergraduate / What does global university mean to you? (NYU Essay) [6]

Hello,
This is my essay for NYU
since im not a native english speaker.. there might be some grammar errors :)
second.. i am worried that my essay answers the both questions

I was really moved when i got some feedbacks from ppl last night for the first time
so... please leave some comments ony my essay!

Thanks!

NYU is "In and of the City" and "In and of the World." What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?

I was born in South Korea, not a particularly dominant or influential nation in the world. Unlike its petulant cousin to the north, South Korea has not garnered much attention from the world. It does not possess plentiful resources, finances or land mass. On a personal level I was once much like my country-insignificant and unnoticeable. I didn't play sports or embark on any adventures or challenges. I lived a boring life. If I were a flavor, I'd be vanilla.

At the age 15, things changed. A strong desire birthed within me to do something meaningful with my life. Dreams of attending university and plotting a career path dominated my thoughts. Looking around at my situation, I quickly realized that Korea was not the suitable place to achieve that dream. I was a frog in a well.

I began to search for what I felt would be the ideal setting to study and to fulfill my goals. My quest soon culminated with New York University. Here was an institution that had all the elements I was looking for as an international student preparing to make a global impact. New York is one of, if not the most, cosmopolitan cities in the world. It thrives with people of various nationalities and ethnicities. Even though the grand stage of New York is a far cry from my home city, NYU's multicultural student body and international focus is exactly the environment where I'd feel at home. In addition, because of its focus, and international campuses, NYU's academic programs offer relevant, and first-hand perspectives on world concerns. That kind of emphasis is a definite advantage for someone like me who wants to understand global economies.

The first step toward achieving my goal was to move to Canada where I honed my English skills and learned to adapt to North American culture. Now, after three years in Canada and as I enter my graduate year of high school, I am ready to embark on the next step toward fulfilling my dream-becoming a student at New York University.

In Korea, I felt like a frog trapped in a well. That's no longer the case. Today I am poised to jump into the ocean and discover new worlds. Author Stephen Covey wrote, "The greatest risk is the risk of riskless living." Choosing to stay in Korea would have been an example of that. I fully recognize that relocating to New York is huge step-like jumping into the ocean-but it is that kind of challenge that will make life meaningful for me. I am confident that when I plunge into that massive sea that is the world, New York University will teach me how to swim.

Undergraduate / "I may be a Korean by birth"- significant experience and its impact on you-Common App [8]

Hello
I m planning to send this essay to NYU, Cornell, UC etc
Since im not a native english speaker.. there might be some grammar mistakes... :)
im worried that my essay is not that.. touching.. or is it?

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. (mine is 520 words)

"If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us," the saying goes, "we'd all be millionaires." In my life, there is one unforgettable experience that I consider truly priceless. When I was in 7th grade, I flew from Korea to Australia as part of a two-month student exchange program. Prior to this I had never traveled abroad. In fact, I had little interest in the world outside of Korea and had lived a sheltered life. That created some naive assumptions on my part. For example, I had watched a number of foreign movies where cowboys kill aboriginals or enslave black people and from that I deduced that Caucasians are unfriendly and cruel. As a result I was wary of them.

In Australia, the school I attended was predominantly white. Actually, I was the only Asian in the class. I worried that the students may mistreat me. The first day, as I entered the classroom, I tried to be calm and quietly took a seat in the corner so that no one would notice me. I had no sooner sat down when one of the students, Thandi, tossed a rubber eraser on my desk. The racism has started already I thought. However I would quickly learn how wrong I was.

The student waved at me and said, "Hi." The object she tossed had simply been a way to get my attention. Later that day, the teacher and the other students greeted me enthusiastically. Each day afterward, my classmates talked to me and in my limited English, I did my best to answer. They included me in their sports games and invited me to hang out with them after school. Moreover, all the teachers and even the principal talked to us as friends. The principal even cooked barbeques for the students. You would never see that happen in Korea. My prejudices quickly began to fade.

The ultimate turning point for me however, occurred on my birthday. When I walked into class that day I realized the lights were turned off. Moments later, my classmates shouted, "Surprise!" and began singing "Happy Birthday." Sparklers burst aflame, and someone carried a special birthday cake they had made for me. I was deeply moved. I remember I tried to hold back my teachers but was not able to when all the students from the school said bye at the last day of school.

That two-month stay in Australia, totally transformed my thinking about "foreigners." I realized how terribly wrong and prejudicial I had been about others. My Australian experience had been so positive that I now had a burning desire to see more of the world and interact with other nationalities and cultures. It wasn't long before my family decided to grant that desire and we moved to Canada to continue my education. During the past three years I have learned English and developed wonderful friendships. I have grown as a person in my understanding of other cultures and have learned how to embrace them. I may be a Korean by birth but I now feel I am really a citizen of the world.