Undergraduate / Dear Jack (Common Application Essay A) [4]

This is a rough, rough draft but looking for some feedback. Thank you.

Andrew McMahon: Average guy, rock star, cancer survivor. Most people know Andrew McMahon as the lead singer and pianist of Jack's Mannequin, my favorite band of all time. Most people do not know he was diagnosed with Leukemia in the year 2005. Before he found out he had cancer, he named his band after Jack, his neighbor's brother who had Leukemia, ironically. McMahon began the Dear Jack Foundation to help support research for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. His battle with cancer has not affected me physically, but it has affected me mentally. He has inspired me so much, not only knowing he was strong enough to win his battle against cancer, but also through his lyrics that give me a little faith every day.

Ever since I heard the first song by Jack's Mannequin, I have been in love with his music. I never knew, though, that he did not always fit in the crowd. I did not realize that people typically would not want to listen to piano based music, which is his specialty. People assume his music is like the classic piano music from the 1800's; but it is not, it is the uniquely perfect blend of piano and alternative rock music. I think it is remarkable that he did not let that stop him from playing the kind of music he loved. If he can go out and present his own music to the world, and risk everyone disliking it, then what am I afraid of? For years, I had worried and taken into account of what people thought about me and what I did. I snapped out of that phase quickly. I deeply admire how he just loves what he does and does not let anyone stop him from doing it. I am my own person, and I should not be ashamed to let people see that. I could care less if any one judges me. I love the way I am, and that is all that matters.

Obviously, being diagnosed with cancer is not something anybody wants to hear. Knowing there was nothing he could do to take it back, he just accepted it and went on with life. Instead of just sulking and being depressed about having cancer, he was always happy and joking around. I am so shocked that he did not let this get to him, but I understand that he still wanted to live his life, no matter what. He still wrote songs while in treatment, but he had to prioritize the more important things, such as his health. He is just an average person, and so am I. It is possible that something of that nature could happen to me, I never know. I appreciate everything I have: my family, health, and home. His battle with cancer has taught me to not expect everything to last forever. I cherish every second I have on this earth and the interactions I have with others, both good and bad.

Only a select few people can actually say they are, miraculously, cancer survivors. I figure if he can be so strong as to overcome his encounter with cancer, then I can do anything I set my mind to. This is my life, and I cannot let anything else control it except for me.

After seeing Andrew McMahon and all that he has gone through, there is nothing I can expect to happen. Just as in his most inspirational song, The Resolution, "There's a lot that I don't know; there's a lot that I'm still learning." McMahon took his last dose of medication in fall of 2006. Just like him, I have to simply take my life day by day, with a smile and a bit of hope and see what happens. I have to take each day as it comes and know that each is a blessing.

Undergraduate / Missy's Run (Common Application C) - Any recommended changes greatly appreciated :) [8]

The sun was shining, rays beaming on the back of my neck. I counted seven clouds in the bright, blue sky. The wind was blowing slightly, just enough to chill the sweat on my forehead. It was perfect weather for running. As I jogged around the course, warming up for the big race, my only superior, Terri, and I discussed plans for defeating everyone else in the race. "Semi Charmed Life" played on my iPod, its catchy beat setting my pace for a prelude to victory.

All the girl participants in the race walked to the starting line, nerves taking control of our bodies at this point. We all tried to shake the tenseness out of our arms and legs and to loosen our muscles up one last time. I didn't pay any much attention to how everyone else was preparing. Second best just wasn't good enough for me anymore and I was focused on being the first person to beat Terri in a race. The starter walked up, gun in hand, warning us that we would be starting very soon. We all set our feet on the line and mentally prepared ourselves for the start. I looked to my left. Smiling, I said, "Terri, this is our last race. Are you ready for this?" She looked over at me but didn't respond. Realizing that she didn't want to talk, I said "Well, good luck to you!" She turned her head away and, under her breath, said "Thanks."

"On your mark." It got deathly silent. He held the gun up. I swallowed, the taste of fruit punch flavored Gatorade still in my mouth. "Get set." I took one last deep breath. He fired the gun into the air. We all took off down the hill. Some of the girls charged, but I knew they would die after a few minutes. I strided down the hill, keeping Terri in my near sight. I had passed up all the girls that either started off too slow or too fast. Already, by the quarter mile, Terri and I were the front two runners. I caught up to her and ran by her side. I adjusted to her pace until I made it my own. My pace kept gradually getting faster and faster. Terri tried as hard as she could to keep up. The song played over and over in my head. We passed the first mile marker, faster than we had ever run before. I decided it was my time to step up and push ahead. I picked up my feet just a tiny bit more, worked my arms, and pushed forward. "Missy!" Exhale. "What. Do you. Think you're. Doing?" Inhale, exhale. "You're gonna die!" I didn't even bother to look behind me, much less reply to her. I didn't want to waste one breath. Keep on smiling, what we go through. I dashed through the trail, dodging the roots sticking up out of the ground. Looking at trees kept me distracted from all the pain in my legs. Finally, I reached the mile and a half mark. The people all cheered as I was the first one to reach that point. Ovation, She's got her own motivation.

I tried harder, only one mile to go. Trees came and went. My feet went faster than the song stuck in my head. I charged up hills and let gravity glide me down them. The only noise I could hear now was the sound of my spikes hitting the dirt and my own breathing. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Nobody else was around me, and it felt great. I had never been so tired before, and it was so hard not to just stop where I was and collapse into the soil. I pushed on. Only half a mile to go. I began to speed up, building up my kick for the end. I turned the last corner, approaching the steepest hill of the course. People lined up along the side of the hill, cheering, and at the top sat the finish line. I sprinted as fast as I could up the hill, trying to get this over with. Finally, I reached the top and sped through the finish line. My fellow male teammates hollered and congratulated me as I stumbled through the chute, trying to regain my breath. I walked around to watch the other girls arrive at the finish line. A good forty-five seconds passed before Terri completed the race. I ran over to her to congratulate her on second place. "Good job, Terri! You did so good!" She rejected my hug and rolled her eyes at me. I watched her walk away. The runners came in, one by one.

Once everyone had finished the race, the boys began their race. Soon after all the boys finished their race, the award ceremony began. Medals went to the top seven runners in each of the races. Starting from seven and working his way up, the announcer called out the names of those receiving medals. "And in second place, from Clinton High School, Terri Jackson." Everyone clapped and cheered. A rush of excitement came over me because I knew I would be called next to get my medal. "And, finally, our District Champion this year, from Clinton High School, Missy Null." Everyone cheered and clapped again. Not only was I the first person to ever beat Terri, but I also set the record for the fastest time to complete the course. I will always have my first place medal to remember this day. She's living, she's golden. All of my practicing had finally paid off. That day, I understood the meaning of "practice makes perfect." If you work really hard at something, you can achieve most anything you want.

Undergraduate / ESSAY B. An issue of importance to you...KATRINA- My Story [4]

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

On August 27, 2005 my father, sisters and I ate donuts at a local café in Waveland, Mississippi called Daddy' O's. Patrons that morning talked of the storm in the Gulf among other things. Tropical storms are a regular occurrence along the Gulf Coast so there was not too much cause for alarm. We knew the standard drill, stock up on food and water for a few days, fill the bath tubs full of water and bring in the lawn furniture into the garage. We would handle this storm just like the previous ones. Little did anyone know that within forty-eight hours, all of their lives would be forever changed.

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