Writing Feedback / Speech critique 2 - X's informative speech [2]

Last one, critique please. Thanks again!

This paper discusses X's informative speech. The speech was to convey information about a certain subject that can be supported by empirical data. X's speech was an average one, it had all the elements but was not implemented well. X's organization and closing were average, although his delivery failed.

His speech organization met the minimal requirements. He did not have an interesting hook. He began the speech with an explanation as to why he thought time management was important. I noticed that he had too much information and that resulted in a long-winded speech, making it difficult to stay focused on the speech. His organization was illogical. He talked about how to not. procrastinate, then moved on to the definition and why people procrastinate, and finally going back to how to not procrastinate. Overall, I failed to keep my interest in the speech since it was dry and long. While watching the video, I found that it was difficult to watch the entire speech and ended up fast-forwarding through much of it. The audience probably felt the same way as I do.

X's delivery was bad. From watching the video, I noticed that he tended to look down at his paper most of the time and did not devote adequate amount of time at maintaining eye contact with the audience. It is obvious that he had written many things on his notes and had difficulty with memorization. He didn't meet the clothing requirements, he wore a t-shirt with a baseball cap. He tended to shift his weight a lot more than on his last speech. He spoke in a monotone manner which made it uninteresting. His enunciation was good, I understood everything he said. Another thing that he did well was the placement of his hands which were always situated on the podium. Overall, his delivery was hampered by not meeting the clothing requirements and his lack of eye contact. The audience was probably distracted at reading what was written on his t-shirt.

His closing was average. He provided an overview of everything he talked about. I'm not sure if he emphasized the significance of time management because I was daydreaming. He didn't put in a lot of work with the closing. There was nothing dramatic or memorable about his closing because I forgot everything he talked about the very next day. Even after watching his speech again and writing notes, I still can't recall everything about it.

Overall, the speech was a mediocre one. His organization needs work such as the elimination and reduction of the vast amount of information presented. He could also have taken some time and think about the logical progression of the speech. His eye contact needs improving which could be done with practice, he obviously did not practice. Finally, his closing was average and needed more work on a more effective closing. I would have given him a C.

Writing Feedback / Speech critique 1 - a subject that can be supported by empirical data [NEW]

Critique please. Thanks

The following is a informative speech critique on me, X. The speech was to convey information about a certain subject that can be supported by empirical data. After watching my performance on tape, my impression was that my speech was a overall good speech that met many requirements. The organization, delivery, and visual/audio aid were good.

The organization of my speech was good and provided sufficient information to support my thesis. The speech started with a somewhat lackluster hook, but I previewed the topics that were to be discussed in the speech. It was organized in a logical progression. I may made use of transitional words between the three main topics. I gave citation for the various details which met the citation requirements. I believe that I gave adequate information about the various topics for the audience to be satisfied.

The delivery was also pretty good. I improved on my enunciation and projection of my voice. My natural movements helped to express what I was saying. My eye contact was decent except I tended to give less eye contact to the right side of the room. I stumbled and paused on different section of the speech due my notes being horrible. I wrote too much information on my notes and ended up losing my place in the speech. My notes were also too small and made me squint to read what I wrote. I relied on the powerpoint too much and as a result, I looked back at the screen unnecessarily when I should have focused on the audience. My speech time was too long at twelve minutes. I think that the audience were focused on my speech the majority of the time.

My audio and visual aid was good. The powerpoint helped to keep the audience's attention with the interesting pictures. The different slides were organized well and were not overloaded with text. I also utilized video, but it did not go quite as smoothly as I would have liked. The video came at the end of the speech and was disorganized because it was not embedded into the slides itself. The videos were funny since the audience was laughing along with me. Overall, I think my audio and visual aid helped to boost my speech.

The organization was good but can definitely be improved on with the introduction. The delivery was also good with rough spots, which can be improved on with more practice. The audio and visual aid was the best thing. I would have given my performance an A.

Writing Feedback / domestic terrorism essay [3]

Prompt: What is the most dangerous domestic terrorist threat to the security of the United States?

Last essay of the year! Yay! I'm going to fix the conclusion since it is weak.

Critique thanks!

Domestic Terrorism

"Democracies don't go to war against each other, and by and large they don't sponsor terrorism. They're more likely to respect the environment and human rights and social justice. It's no accident that most of the terrorists come from non-democratic countries," articulated by former president Bill Clinton during his speech at Gordon Track in November of 2001. As one of the world's superpower, the United States hold many responsibilities both on foreign and domestic affairs. With these responsibilities, there are many opponents to the country's policies. Domestic right-wing terrorist groups and individuals are the most dangerous threat to the peace and security of the United States.

Right-wing extremist groups tend to adhere to an anti-government or racist ideology ("Current Threat"). "As American society continues to change, the potential for hate crimes by extremist right wing groups is an increasing concern" ("Current Threat"). Right-wing terrorism ideals have been witness in many forms throughout the history of the United States. Domestically, The United States has its fair share of extreme terrorist groups such as the National Alliance, the World Church of the Creator (WCOTC) and the Aryan Nations (Watson). This type of terrorism occurs in the form of violence against racial, sexual, religious, and political minorities. These terrorist groups cannot accept the rising diversity and ideals as the United States continue to grow. Extreme right-wing ideologies has rapidly gained popularity among many European extremist groups such as the neo-Nazis (Bjorgo).

"Terrorists may also have learned from past violence in the United States, particularly the examples set by the World Trade Center and Oklahoma City bombings. Studying the attacks--including the resulting damage, media coverage, and investigative techniques used to apprehend suspects--could prompt future terrorists to plan their attacks with greater care" ("Current Trends"). Looking at modern trends, extremists have demonstrated an interest in the use of biological weapons. In 1991, Minnesota's domestic extremist group called the Patriot Council produced ricin and discussed usage of it against government officers; the ricin could have killed over one hundred people if it were released ("Current Trends"). Animal rights extremist also have committed acts of terrorisms within the United States. An example of this is Rodney Coronado, a member of the Animal Liberation Front, pled guilty to arson from a fire at Michigan State University ("Terrorism").

Islamic extremists attempted to destroy Tower One of the World Trade Center, parking a car with explosives inside. The extremists failed to bring down the tower and only six Americans were killed ("February 1993 Bombing"). One of the most deadly and extreme case of right-wing terrorism was the 1995 Oklahoma City Bombing. The Oklahoma terrorists seemed to have taken tips from the Islamic extremists in this very similar situation. The attack was aimed at the Alfred P. Murrah federal building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Around 9:03 a.m., a bomb in a rental truck in the parking garage exploded, bringing half of the entire building down. 168 lives were taken that day with hundreds injured from the attack ("The Bombing").

Domestic terrorism has undoubtedly grew in the United States. These act of terrorism seems to grow in intensity and scale. Right-wing terrorists is the most dangerous threat to the United States.

Writing Feedback / episodic content revisited - argumentative essay [2]

This was an essay that I written years ago and I decided to reuse again for a new argument essay.

Prompt was to pick a controversial topic and write about it. The essay was to discuss both side of the argument.

Critique thanks!

Episodic Games, the Wave of the Future

The whole house is asleep except for yours truly. The television's eerily glow fills the room. Soda cans lie haphazardly around. My eyes glued to the center of the television screen with a zombie-like glaze until a knock came from the door, which releases me from my stupor. Sitting on the bed, I peered at a corner of the room, the silhouettes of my video game cases came into view. It would take a person several years to complete all the games. The problems of today's video games are expensive and long length. Episode games are the best solution, offering quality games at a cheap price.

The best analogy for comparing episodic games is with television shows. The cost of developing an episodic game would be less than a regular game. The first episodic game would be a pilot to see if consumers were interested, then additional episodes would be developed to meet consumer demand (Kraft par. 4). The episodic game would attract consumers because of the lower price point. The cost of an episodic game would be twenty dollars instead of the 50 dollars charged for a regular game. An episodic game would require less time to develop and use fewer resources, justifying the lower price. Successful TV shows like LOST, 24 and The Unit builds an audience over time. An engaging and challenging episodic game would build the same kind of audience, providing a steady stream of revenue and enabling the developers to further the series. Having an audience has the potential of creating a steady stream of revenue for the game developers so they can continue to further the series. Since a lower price point is appealing to consumers, the potential exists for selling one hundred million copies of an episodic game at twenty dollars, as opposed to ten million copies of a regular game at fifty dollars.

One of the main reasons for support of episodic games is the reduced game length. An average game takes around eight hours to finish. Many gamers who dislike the idea of an episodic game do not realize that they are practicing an episodic style by playing for a couple of hours, saving the game and putting it away for a later date. Episodic games would not lose the quality of the experience. A gamer who purchased a game for a cheap price and finished it in one day has the potential to become part of a dedicated fan base. Gaming is an expensive hobby. With the release of the PS3, the price is almost astronomically high-five hundred dollars for the lower end and six hundred dollars for the higher end. The bill will continue to add up with rising video games' development costs. The lower price point of episodic games would give some relief to regular gamers, and might encourage people who have never played before to try it.

One of the major complaints about episodic game is that glitches and bugs would destroy the episodic series. Though this is true, developing games in episodic format allows this to be fixed due to consumer reaction and complaints with subsequent releases. With regular games, the developers have no control over the game after it goes "gold." If the episodic series is not going as planned, developers also have the choice to quit developing on it and move to a different project with save money and time for them. Essentially episodic games allow both the consumer and developers to bail out of the series if it did not appeal to expectation. Many gamers also complain that they are not willing to play a part of a game. People watch movie trilogies like Lord of the Rings, read serialized novels like The Vampire Earth series, and watch T.V. shows like 24. Many consumers are already doing this. Episodic games are the most logical progression and have the potential to be amazing.

Episodic content is the future of digital distribution; it has many positive effects, which outweighs the negative. It is an idea that would benefit both parties and produce wonderfully innovative and story driven games, breathing life into the game industry.

Writing Feedback / WHAT ROLE DID THE G.I. BILL PLAY IN THE POST WW11 DEVELOPMENT IN THE US MIDDLE CLASS? [NEW]

topic: what role did the G.I. Bill play in the post WWII development of the American Middle Class?

Critique. The conclusion is weak and I plan in adding in more for it.

"Magic Carpet to the Middle Class"

In his July 28, 1943 Fireside Chat, President Franklin D. Roosevelt spoke that "Among many other things we are, today, laying plans for the return to civilian life of our gallant men and women in the armed services. They must not be demobilized into an environment of inflation and unemployment, to a place on a bread line, or on a corner selling apples. We must, this time, have plans readyïinstead of waiting to do a hasty, inefficient, and ill-considered job at the last moment." The G.I. Bill proposal came from speech. This bill was praised as the most influential piece of legislation in the twentieth century. The G.I. Bill essentially became the "Magic Carpet to the Middle Class" (Davenport) for many American veterans after World War 2.

Warren Atherton wrote the Servicemen's Readjustment Act of 1944ï commonly known as the G.I. Billï of which many considered the legislation as the last great policy of the New Deal. President Roosevelt signed the bill on June 22, 1944. The bill was largely written to prevent the Bonus March of 1932 and another depression. It provided aid to veterans adjusting to civilian life. The main benefit to the G.I. Bill was veterans' ability to attend any college of their choice, although, the college had to accept them first. The government would pay for tuition, books, and any college expenses. The fact that the government would pay for it, greatly influenced colleges to increase enrollment. Before World War 2, there were approximately 160,000 people in college. Shortly after the implementation of the G.I. Bill, this figure skyrocketed to 500,000 people, where 50 percent of college attendees were veterans. Within 7 years, 8 million veterans had received educational benefits. A higher education was not just for the wealthy anymore. There was a huge influx of skilled workers pouring into the workforce. This skilled veterans found work and received nice wages. This was the beginning of the middle class development.

"Before the war, college and homeownership were, for the most part, unreachable dreams for the average American" ("Born of Controversy"). Veterans coupled with education and a guaranteed home loan, a large increase demand for housing developed. A large expansion in "Levittown-type developments" (Davenport), mass-produced housing, occurred. Dreams of a white house with a picket fence yard were now possible. Suburbia grew exponentially. No longer were the suburbs just for the wealthy. American citizens transformed from renters to homeowners. These veterans were now part of a striving middle class society where they went from "citizens who worked with their hands to professionals who worked with their minds" (Reginald). Millions of veterans finally realized the "American Dream."

Not only did the G.I. Bill help Caucasians but African-Americans as well benefited. The "52-20" provision, which enabled unemployed veterans to collect $20 for 52 weeks, gave African-Americans and minorities the same wages as Caucasians for the first time. The bill erased inequalities between ethnicities in government benefits, although, segregation still existed. Africans-Americans and minorities could now attend universities of their choice even if it were a white-oriented university. Housing could be afforded. African-Americans launched into the middle-class society alongside whites. Many American citizens became accustomed to having luxury items such as televisions and automobiles.

The G.I. Bill truly was a magnificent act, which gave millions of veterans an education and a home. Jim Moser said it best during an interview with Jim Lehrer of NewsHour: that the G.I. Bill may his life and many other veterans' lives easy.

Writing Feedback / Osteopenia Illness - Cause/Effect essay [2]

Prompt was to discuss the causes and effects of an illness that plagues you/your family.

critique

My mother and grandmother suffer from a medical condition called osteopenia. Osteopenia is condition where bone mineral density is lower than the normal bone density level. When people age, their bones naturally become thinner and more fragile. Females are more likely to develop this condition since they normally have less bone density than males. Osteopenia, although normal with age, can cause a greater risk for future complications.

A sole factor does not cause osteopenia; instead, there are rather multiple factors that can contribute to the disease. The natural occurrence of aging is one of the contributing factors toward the condition. People tend to lose bone mass around the age of thirty, the higher bone density a person has by age thirty, the longer osteopenia develops. Caucasians and Asians are more likely to show signs of osteopenia. Another cause to osteopenia is the person being thin. Eating disorders and inactivity-little exercise-will contribute to the condition. Smoking, excessive alcohol intake, and calcium and vitamin D deficiencies are all known to contribute to the rapid development of osteopenia. Surprisingly, caffeine also can have a negative effect on bone mass.

Osteopenia has no visible symptoms, although, as the bones become more fragile, it is prone to breaking. Another outcome of osteopenia is the development of osteoporosis, a more severe version of osteopenia. The inability to participate in activities-due to the greater chance of injuries--is another consequence of this illness. Osteopenia can be prevented. Since bones continue to grow until the age of thirty, there are ways to maximize bone density. The usual preventive measures for other diseases applied to this too: more calcium and vitamin D, exercise, less alcohol use, and less caffeine. The usual saying of early detection will also help slow or prevent osteopenia or its bigger, scarier cousin, osteoporosis.

Although, my mother and grandmother were diagnosed with osteopenia, they took measures to slow its progress. Osteopenia is degenerative. It is true however, that osteopenia with aging, but the progressive nature of osteopenia can become a concern further along the line.

Essays / "Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes "- ABSTRACT ESSAY [3]

prompt was to write a defining essay on something abstract

I got to add another sentence to the conclusion to make it a paragraph.

Was the quotes in the introduction and conclusion too much? Not sure if I done the quotes correctly.

critique

Many thanks to you!

"Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it." [Georges Duhamel] Around 1250, the word "memory" was recorded. The Latin word for memory is memoria. The prefix "memor" stands for "mindful, remembering." The suffix "pie" stands for "think." Memory is important in many people's lives. It helps to recall daily chores and past experiences. Memory is simply the retention of information via processes of brain neurons, although the idea of losing one's memories can be unnerving and terrifying.

Memory classify into three groups: sensory, short-term, and long-term memory. Sensory memory refers to the first stage of memory. It recalls details of an object for a fleeting moment, such as a briefly viewed image. The amount of information retain by sensory memory is limited. Because of the fleeting moment of time, sensory memory is associated with perception. Within sensory memory, there are two subgroups: iconic memory and echoic memory. Iconic refers to the visual image while echoic refers to the memory of sound. The second stage of memory is short-term. Short-term memory is similar to sensory memory in that information held is very limited. Although, the duration that information is held is longer than sensory memory. The final level is long-term memory; these memories are essentially permanent. Long-term memory helps to recall past events and knowledge.

Understanding various memory disorders assist in defining memory and the realization of the preciousness of memories. The ability to retain information decrease with age, which is a natural occurrence. Small details of the past are lost while the overall image is retained. For example, a person remembers riding on a ferris wheel for his birthday, but cannot recall the color of the ferris wheel. Another example would be a woman remembering her childhood and her walks to the park, but does not remember the name of the park. Memory loss is a symptom of Alzheimer's. People with severe symptoms cannot perform minor activities. Loss of language comprehension, recognition of close friends and family, and objects are due to the reliance on long-term memory. President Ronald Reagan lived through ten years of Alzheimer's. Memory loss is also an effect of amnesia. Long or short period of memory could be lost. In Anastasia, Anya suffered from amnesia and as a result, could not remember the first eight years of her life.

Even though memory is just the act of storing and recalling information, when memory loss does occur, one ceases to the same person again. "I am grown old and my memory is not as active as it used to be. When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this, but we all have to do it." [Mark Twain]

Writing Feedback / Gamers - classification essay [5]

Prompt was to classify 3 sets of people in the same situation.

Alot of passive voice, which i don't know how to fix
Alot of wierd sentences too
I couldn't come up with an adequate introduction and conclusion

critique thanks

Video games are meant to be play by a broad variety of people. Playing a generic game, these gamers start to show their true colors. There are three main classifications for gamers. These gamers, who should be avoided at all cost, come in flavors of aggressive, cute, and back-seat.

The dangerously aggressive gamers are one to be reckoned with. These men and women rush in and start virtual wars by any means necessary. Incendiary, destructible weapons are worshipped. Playing a game, they go berserk, reminiscent of Norse warriors. Their only mission is to elicit carnage and strike fear into those that step in the way. They express their happiness by unloading an entire ammo clip into the opponent. If they were to die, harsh, guttural sounds will be heard and controllers would be thrown against the wall. The opponent would come face-to-face with these berserkers.

Cute gamers' purpose to playing game is to look at cute things. Cute gamers are mainly female but there will be an odd male sometimes. Cute gamers' express their glee for cute things by hugging the television and engaging in baby talk towards the game. These gamers find cute features in everything including that scary monster at the end of Doom. They do not play a game to win; they play to see cute things. When they do spot something cute, which is often, it is usually accompanied by high-pitched giggles. Like the other two gamers, empty servers will be in wait for cute gamers. If they have to shoot and kill a character in the game, they burst into tears and seek forgiveness for their sins.

Back-seat gamers are the bane of any friend relationship; they share a resemblance to back-seat drivers. These people will constantly give unneeded advice and comments when critical moments arrive in a game. They know everything about A.I. script, and maps memorized in theory. Upon playing a game, they constantly tell the person playing the game, the way to play it. Their voices cannot be squelched. In practice, their advices and proclamation of gaming skills should go unheeded. As with aggressive gamers, the sounds of players leaving the servers accompanied the back-seat gamers' entrance. When a game is lost, they unleash a torrent of verbal abuse towards the person playing the game. Handing the controller for the back-seat gamer would end with no result, rejecting to play. These gamers rather watch the other play to insult since they are better than everyone in theory.

These classifications of gamers should be used as a warning sign to avoid them. The gaming world has assembled a broad variety of interesting personalities, although, the aggressive, cute, and back-seat gamers tend to stick out the most and are the most plentiful.

Writing Feedback / New Deal Programs, How it Changed American Life - Essay Critique [5]

The topic was to pick one of the New Deal programs and explain how it changed American life.

Is the quote in the conclusion too much? Does it fit with the rest of the essay?

Critique thanks!

The New Deal was a policy directed by Franklin D. Roosevelt to provide relief for the American economy and people during the Great Depression. Out of the New Deal, there will be dozen of programs that assisted the United States into recovery from the depression. Of them all, The Works Progress Administration (WPA) would become the largest and accomplished of the New Deal programs. The WPA helped to change many American lives by employment and improving the country's infrastructure.

The WPA was established on April 1935. Although the Civil Conservation Corps (CCC) and Civil Works Administration (CWA) came before the WPA, the WPA would soon turn into the principal program and one of the largest employers in the United States. WPA was headed by Harry L. Hopkins, one of Roosevelt's closest advisors and Eleanor's closest friend. "Hopkins believed. 'Give a man a dole,' he observed, 'and you save his body and destroy his spirit. Give him a job and you save both body and spirit'." The purpose of the program was not to provide welfare, but to provide work which helped Americans keep their dignity and self-esteem. WPA contributed to the construction of 78,000 bridges, 116,000 buildings, and 1,047,000 km of roads and 800 airports improvements. The WPA employed more than 8.5 million people. These 8.5 million men and women were able to feed, sheltered, and clothed their family.

Labor workers were not the only ones to be employed, artists and artisans were also hired to produce work of arts and crafts. When Harry Hopkins was criticized for the employment of artists, he replied, "Hell! They've got to eat just like other people." These artists created more than 17,744 sculptures and 2,566 murals that decorated public buildings nationwide. They presented approximately 225,000 concerts, and produced 475,000 pieces of art overall. This allowed many unknown artists to receive recognition for their works. At this time, many Americans enjoyed and were introduced to many styles of art. Ultimately, this led to the future creation of the National Foundation for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Humanities.

Women were also employed; although, it was a meager amount compared to the men. Women received the same wages as the men. The women were assigned to less labor-intensive work such as sewing. Ellen Woodward, directed the women's division of the WPA, successfully pushed for their acceptance in the Professional Projects Divisions, which helped further the equality of females in the professional atmosphere. African Americans were helped by the program, employing over 5,000 black educators to teach illiterate African Americans which helped to cut the nation's illiteracy rate by five percent. The WPA not only did this, but was also involved in the black communities. Blacks received free dental and medical care from doctors staffed by the WPA. Black artists and artisans were encouraged and funded by the WPA.

The WPA was vital for the recovery of the nation and provided millions with work and money. Almost every person was affected by the program in some way. The program essentially provided million of Americans hope for the better future of the nation. It helped establish Roosevelt as one of the great American presidents; a poem sent to Roosevelt in 1936, "I THINK THAT WE SHALL NEVER SEE / A PRESIDENT LIKE UNTO THEE . . . POEMS ARE MADE BY FOOLS LIKE ME, / BUT GOD, I THINK, MADE FRANKLIN D."

Writing Feedback / Consoles - comparing and contrasting essay [2]

This is probably one of my worst essays that I had ever written. The thesis statement should have shown the purpose to the essay which I'm not sure if it did. A lot of choppy sentences made it way in as I typed this in a hurry.

Is it good enough for my English Comp class? The flow must suck?

Help! Thanks.

Two consoles attempt to dominate the space in our living rooms, the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360. Both struggle for the dominance in the gaming industry. Consumers have a tough choice between these two systems. These consoles may play the same games and have the same sound, but there are many differences between these two consoles and few similarities.

Both the Playstation and Xbox aims to be the living room media center. The two systems also have integrated Ethernet adaptor, share the same playback of different media formats. The similiarities ends here. One of the major features that Sony has included in their next-generation Playstation is the use of Blu-ray, which is a high-definition disc format. Cell, which developed by Sony, Toshiba, IBM, also helps to differiente the Playstation from Xbox 360. Sony also have integrated 802.11 B/G Wi-Fi and Bluetooth 2.0. The Playstation 3 have a 2.5 removable hard drive which can be replaced with any laptop-sized hard drive for easy access. The Playstation also have a HDMI ports. The Playstation also supports up to seven Bluetooth controllers. Both the Playstation and Xbox aims to be the living room media center. Sony have 6 USB 2.0 ports.

Microsoft used current generation disc format which is Dual-layer DVD-rom; although, consumers can purchase an addon which enables consumers to experience movies in HD. The Xbox have zero HDMI port, but with the introduction of the Xbox Elite, it now has one HDMI port. One of the major advantages that the Xbox 360 have is Microsoft online service, Xbox live. Whereas, Sony online services is still in its infant stages, Xbox Lives have well matured into a feature-filled service. Microsoft supports up to four controllers. Microsoft Xbox 360 only have three USB ports. Although, Wi-Fi is integrated, a separate purchase of an adapter is necessary.

Sony offers the most features for the hefty price tag. The inclusion of Bluetooth, HD disc format, and exciting technology put the Playstation well ahead of the Xbox 360. Gamers today have a difficult choice between these two consoles; although, for the price tag, the playstation 3 is well worth the money.

Writing Feedback / How to use QTFairUse - process essay [2]

Prompt was to provide the steps on how to do something. Thesis statement should indicate the process being explained and the purpose for knowing how to complete the process.

Quick note: Fairplay is a DRM technology created by Apple.

Quick Q:

Did I make it clear on how to use QTFairUse?

QTFairUse

With three billions songs downloaded from the iTunes store, iTunes is a champion of music downloading services. The user-friendly iTunes makes downloading music quick and hassle-free; however, iTunes purchased songs will not run on any other media player except for Apple products due to digital rights managements (DRM,) which limit usages of devices or files. QTFairUse, an open-source program, makes converting DRM-protected audio files simple, and enables users to quickly enjoy their music on many formats.

The default audio format of iTunes songs is AAC (advance audio coding), an encoding scheme for digital audio. The essential thing to remember is QTFairUse does not remove the DRM from the songs; it waits for the song to be played by iTunes then copies the unencrypted songs as they are sent to the sound card. Now, the first step in converting iTunes songs is to locate and download the QTFairUSe, a simple Google search will yield results. Next, locate QTFairUse zipped folder that had been downloaded. Right-click and extract the zipped folder. Inside the folder will be the necessary files to run QTFairUse. Click on the QTFairUse icon and the program should start up. QTFairUse will start up quickly, as it uses little system resources. Inside is a variety of options for users to choose from.

The next step would be to read the options and achieve an understanding of what the options will perform. QTFairUse also allows the users to backup the entire iTunes library in case something should go awry. The program allows the users to convert all of their iTunes songs or just the songs that the users pick. Choose whether to convert all the songs or a selected handful of songs and to backup the iTunes library. Also, specify which folder the original DRM-protected files will be move to. Once the choices are made, proceed to click on the start conversion button at the bottom of the program. The program will then automatically complete the tasks without any more of the users' involvement. The total conversion time is dependent on the size of the users' libraries; expect to wait an hour or more if there are a hundred songs or more in the library. After the conversion is completed, the DRM-protected songs will be replaced by non-DRM songs. Now users can play the songs in any music players so long as they support AAC audio files. Further conversions could be made to convert the AAC files to other media formats.

Many different methods of stripping the DRM from iTunes's songs are available such as burning the songs to a compact disc then ripping the songs again; although, this will take longer and is a waste of a compact disc. QTFairUse is by far the easier method to convert the songs; it is essentially dummy-proof. The program easily allows users to circumvent iTunes's Fairplay DRM.

Writing Feedback / New freedom and Nationalism - expositive essay [NEW]

Prompt was to explain New Freedom and Nationalism, explain the differences between them, and how these two movements were the basis of modern liberalism and conservatism.

New Freedom and Nationalism

The progressive movement aimed to mend the various ill workings of the United States society and economy through reforms. The progressive movement goals were to address government corruption, social problems, and directly involving the American citizens in political decision-making. Progressivism rejected Social Darwinism, adopted by many wealthy figures, and stated that men were capable of improving upon society. The New Freedom and Nationalism philosophy, which were respectably held by President Woodrow Wilson and Theodore Roosevelt, paved the way for modern liberalism and conservation.

President Woodrow Wilson spearheaded the New Freedom policy, which promoted antitrust laws, bank reforms, and tax revision. This stood in opposition to President Theodore Roosevelt's New Nationalism on the issue of antitrust. "If America is not to have free enterprise, she can have freedom of no sort whatever," stated by Wilson during the Denver campaign speech. He declared that New Freedom stood for economic and political liberty from monopolies whereas Roosevelt's New Nationalism stood for human welfare, the protection of labor workers against monopolies. Although Roosevelt and he agreed that the American government was being abused its power, their ideals split on how to deal with the power corruption. When elected to office, Wilson adopted more of Roosevelt's New Nationalism such as the Federal Reserve System. The New Freedom was the basis for modern conservatism, which instead of radical changes, seek to observe and maintain the status quo.

"The object of government is the welfare of the people. The material progress and prosperity of a nation are desirable chiefly so far as they lead to the moral and material welfare of all good citizens," spoken by Theodore Roosevelt during the 1912 election. Roosevelt was influenced by The Promise of American Life, a book by Herbert Croly. Roosevelt's policy was a mixture of both liberal and conservative ideals. Roosevelt believed only a powerful government could regular the economy and ensures social justice. He also believed that the government should protect the labor workers from exploitation. He also supported minimum wage and child labor laws. Roosevelt wanted separate agencies dedicated to regulate businesses. New Nationalism served as a basis for liberalism.

Liberalism maintained the government can be strong but with boundaries. Modern liberalism aimed for civil liberties and more check and balances of the system. Liberals support a wide range of economic roles for the states. Conservatism, in contrast, stood for a small government and free market beliefs. Conservatism tended to observe and affect changes in incremental amounts as opposed to liberalism, which favored radical changes in society. Wilson and Roosevelt, the leaders of the New Freedom and Nationalism movement, had a mixture of liberal and conservative belief in their philosophy.

Even though their policy clashed, Roosevelt and Wilson were the same in wanting a better society. Their policies dealt with the corruption and economic problems in differing ways. The New Freedom and Nationalism served as a basis for the modern liberalism and conservatism.

Writing Feedback / The Otaku - Explaining with examples essay [5]

Prompt was to write about a specific person characteristic. (for example: loyal friend, an ineffective teacher) Giving examples as to why they are like that.

The Otaku

My friend, the otaku

I have known my best friend since elementary school. We were inseparable; our parents would say that we were twins. We had mirror personalities except our anime obsessions were not on the same level. He became obsessed with anime as if it were a disease, where as I was a casual fan. My best friend is the most dedicated otaku -person with obsessive interest in manga and anime or Japanese culture in general-that I had ever seen.

A chain of events led me to label him as "the otaku." He is not just an otaku but "the Otaku" whom every other insignificant otaku would look up to and worship at his pure dedication towards the art and collection of manga and anime. At eight years old, his introduction to the Japanese world would prove that their culture had created a monster. He started slowly, showing an eerie interest in the Sailor Moon and Samurai Pizza Cats. By now, he had amassed multiple editions of Pokemon trading cards. He even went through a phase of imitating Pikachu, which was frowned upon by his parents. He slowly began to collect anime movies and memorabilia using meager allowances. I feared that this is the beginning of his ascent toward the title of otaku king.

At the age of fourteen, he begged for a trip to Japan; his parents surprisingly granted his wish. Of course, he screamed excitedly at me leading up to the departure day. His expression could only been described as pure bliss, as if he had died and went to heaven. During his stay in Japan, he visited the famous Otome Road, a nickname given to a street in Ikebukuro, which is home to jam-packed shops specializing in anime merchandises. When he arrived back, he gave me a little Gundam RX-78 model and exclaimed that he was not too selfish. He also told me that he spent all of his money in around ten minutes and had even asked for a loan from his furious parents to buy more.

Fast-forward to the present, he had converted his parents' attic into his anime domain. Plastered over the attic's walls were many, many posters and wall-scrolls of various anime and Japanese idols. He built shelves that were lined with figurines, models. Eventually running out of space, he resulted to placing his models on top of the television and computer monitor. On the other side of the room, he had his trillions of anime and manga lined alphabetically. A corner of the room was dedicated to his reading where the section of the floor was littered with manga. His floor was a sea of crap that he had not organized yet; it was difficult to step anywhere without being yelled at. He regularly attended anime convention and cosplay, shamelessly showing off his elaborate costumes of anime characters. He continued to purchase merchandise with an endless supply of money. "The Otaku" name was born.

He achieved a form of enlightenment that I had never seen before. The sheer magnitude of anime paraphernalia that he had acquired is on a cosmic scale. My best friend took the word, Otaku, and transformed it into an eerily beautiful thing. I admire him and only hope that I could achieve the greatness that he has.

Writing Feedback / A scary house - descriptive essay [NEW]

Prompt was to describe a place.

I think I did a good job with that. I tried not to use too many "I" but that proved to be a bit difficult. I'm trying to get rid of all the vague sentence starters that my teacher informed me about.

1) Is my thesis statement ok?
2) Is my conclusion alright?

Critique as always, please.

The Scary House

As I stood, gazing at the dilapidated house. I shivered, as though, ice had replaced my spine. The cold air enveloped the entire body. The multiple layer of clothing could not protect against the deathly cold. The walkway leading up to house were cracked. Weeds and dandelions poked out from these cracks. Red roses grown wildly in thick batches by the gate. The moonlight cast a ghoulish glow on the house. Vines formed a twisted maze upon the side of house, reaching their tentacles towards the roof. The house's walls showed black decay by neglect. Splotches of original paint hinted at the house former prosperity. Cobwebs covered the corners of the doors, tiny black spiders threading towards their prey. The house is fit for the kings and queens of the supernatural.

The door begrudgingly creaked open. A musty, dank order creep into my nose. The house was dead silence except for the intermittent creaks and moans. Black and brown mold dotted the ceiling in clusters, evident of rain seeping through the roof. I quietly entered the dark living room. Windows covered with grime and dirt, the calm moonlight struggled to penetrate the darkness in thin thread rays. Sharp shadows roamed around the room. The sofa and chairs overturned revealing deep grooves on the ground where they used to sit. Wallpaper lay curled on the floor. A large jagged hole dug through the wall stood as though daring any to enter. Picture frames hanged off-centered. Sharp shadows roamed around the room. A misplaced grand bookcase stood the corner of the room, undisturbed for a long time. Selecting the correct book could reveal a secret doorway into a labyrinth.

I made my way back into the hallway, a slimmer of light came from behind a door. I approached and opened the door. I had reached the bathroom. The single window was mildly dirty, a flood of light flowed into the room. Dust swirled around the room as I made my way inside. The medicine cabinet mirror lay shattered in pieces on the floor tile. Empty medicine bottle lay in the porcelain sink. The only sound to be heard is the drip, drip of the faucet. A closer look revealed the discoloration of the water, a brownish concoction. A lone mouse stood sentry at the bottom of the tub. Never having a visitor in a while, it curiously eyed me before scuttling away. Approaching the bathtub, a violent odor made it way to my nose. Pinching my nose, I leaned over and peered inside. Crusty rags filled the bathtub, little hints of movement underneath them. It would be unadvisable to see what is under the rags.

I arrived at the foot of the staircase. I stood and peered at the top, wondering when a twisted head person will crawl down and have me for dinner. I summoned strength and tiptoed my way up the stairs. Each step intensified the moaning and creaking as if the steps could collapse at any moment. I turned to the right, and met my final destination. The door did not give way easier, a forceful push was needed. Stepping inside, a dresser seem to have been pushed against the door, attempting to deny anyone entry. I could make out the silhouette of bed, edging in closer for a better look. A toy dinosaur lay missing its head on the bed. The sheet was splattered with a dark color. The wind intensified outside, the rustling of the leaves and branches were louder. In the corner, a little chair began to rock slowly. The room had once belonged to a boy. The thin strips of wallpaper showed little trucks. Crayon markings scrambled upon the wall where wallpaper used to stick. The carpet squished as I walked. Little picture frames remained facedown on the carpet.

A howl echoed throughout the house. It was time to leave, I told myself. I closed the bedroom door behind as I carefully walked down the stairs. I hoped I did not disturb anything or its somber rest. I made my way outside where my group of friends was standing. They asked me what took me so long; I replied that escaping the ghosts was difficult.

Essays / Consumer prices drop - Economy revisited ; expositive essay [5]

Your mission is to explain one economic principal in a short newspaper or magazine article. Do NOT just summarize the article. The article you choose CANNOT be an article we have discussed in class. Your article must be recent ï no more than 3 months old. For example: An article is about the falling prices of Cell Phones. You might explain why, in economic terms, the Price is decreasing. It could be shifting of the Supply and/or Demand Curves, changes in Technology, changes in "Taste". Or some other reason.

So I went to CNN.com and picked out a random article which is titled "consumer prices drop."

I think it is a bit choppy and I had some problems with the conclusion. Suggestions on that?

Also did it meet requirement? I did explain the circle of flow model and how it relates to the article but I don't know if it's good enough.

Critique please.

"Consumer prices drop"

The labor department reported that consumer prices have fallen, offsetting the increasing
food prices. Consumer prices have fallen 0.1 percent which is the first decline in prices since October 2006. This came after the Federal Reserve cut interest rates in an attempt for the country to not fall into a recession, a period during which a country experience a decline in their GDP.

A recession would disrupt the circle of flow since more unemployed people equals less money returning back into the economy. The fall in the consumer prices helped workers giving them more spending. The average weekly wages has also increased .5 percent after 5 months of decline. This also helped in giving workers more money to spend in the economy. However, food prices have increased by .4 percent.

"The Fed in its statement said that 'some inflation risks remains,' but by making the bolder half-point cut in its federal funds rate, it was signaling that it clearly believed the threat of a recession outweighed concerns about inflation." Inflation remain contained, only rising .2 percent.

In addition to higher food cost, energy and gas prices have soared. Energy cost is up to 12.7 percent annual rate this year and oil prices have achieved a record 80 dollars per barrel. This is a problem for consumers. Even with the help of the increase in average wages, consumer spending will be slowed due to the energy and oil prices. Medical care cost rose .5 percent in August and is now 4.5 percent over the past year. We will certainly not see hospital patients spending many as they will have to pay their expensive medical bills.

Even though consumer prices have fallen, other prices have continued to surge. With these prices increasing, it is uncertain whether the economy can continue to run smoothly without problems. The Federal Reserve has help temporarily to curve recession. Further steps are needed are to get the economy in a stable condition.

Writing Feedback / U.S. economy - expository essay [2]

Prompt was to detail the U.S. economic growth and development following the civil war. it is suppose to be 3 or 4 pages but I only managed 2 and 1/4 page. Thank the heavens for MLA format!

I forgot about having to do this because I was working on the other essay. So I rushed this essay out. I read the how to write a paper without research essay and I tried to do what it suggested.

It's also due tomorrow.

Critique please.

U.S. economy

Lee Iacocca, former Chrysler CEO, once said that "People want economy and they will pay any price to get it." After the Civil War, the United States experienced rapid economic development due to industrialization and urbanization. It is evident that the United States experienced transitional pains while the modernization took place. The United States' economy embarked on an arduous journey to get where it is today.

At the end of the civil war, the United States experienced a rapid growth of the railroad industry. At the time, the railroad industry provided many American with employment. Jay Cooke and other wealthy businessmen planned to construct another transcontinental railroad. However, Cooke's financing firm discovered they had ran out of money and filed for bankruptcy. This sparked the Panic of 1873. The bankruptcy created a ripple effect throughout the country and caused a major upset in the U.S. economy. The New York Stock Exchange was closed down for 10 days. Many businesses and railroads closed, unemployment reached 14% in 1876. Many railroad workers went on strike causing the president, Rutherford Hayes, to send in federal troops.

In 1910, there still a large amount of farms in the United States. There were approximately 5.4 million farms. During this decade, the work hours were 12 hours a day, 6-7 days a week. The government collected only 567 million dollars in taxes and is spending only 1.8 percent of the GDP. The World War I began and there was a surge in government spending. There was need for military goods during this time. During the 1920s, there was a big business boom. Factories, machinery, and a standardize mass production method which resulted from WWI help for quick and efficient production of goods. Higher wages helped for more demand of consumer goods. Farmers were increasingly moving to the urban area. Farmers who stayed were faced with problems such as weather and shortsighted farming practices. President Hoover helped to ease the farmers' pain with the creation of the federal Farm Board. It helped to regulate the farmer market and was the first step to provide stability to the farmers. There was a major tax reduction under the republicans which is one of the causes of the Great Depression. Black Tuesday, Wall Street Crash of 1929, was widespread and considered to be the beginning of the great depression.

The Great Depression occurred in the 1930s and ended in 1941. It was a decade of poverty and unemployment which soon spread to other continents. President Roosevelt initiated the New Deal which was to provide help and aid to the U.S. people and economy. It was created with the 3 Rs in mind: Relief, Recovery, and Reform. He also signed the bill to legalize the sale and manufacture of alcohol. As the 1930s gave way to 1940s, the economy is raising, banks are reformed, and there were significant government spending on reform programs. World War II began and the economy saw the GNP rise to 40% by 1943. Technological advances helped farmers to become efficient with the use of gasoline, fertilizers, and pesticides. More Americans are joining the middle class. There was large number of educated workers thanks to the GI bill. Unions won contracts and benefits from businesses. By the 1950s, Employment in the farm area began to decreased; farms are now increasingly managed by family members. In 1961, President Kennedy passed the largest tax cut in U.S. history. 200 billion dollars of war bonds had matured. In the 60s, there was an increase in government spending and aid for inner cities. The government financed ARPANET which is now the Internet. Federal spending increased even more with Medicare, food stamps, and educational initiatives. The end of the 60s met with inflation as the government failed to raise taxes to support the Vietnam War and various government programs.

The United States certainly came a long way since the ending of the civil war. There were various ups and downs of the United States economy. The United States is amazingly resilient, always recovering from bad times.

Undergraduate / Hole - narrative essay(incident that happened and changed my mind) [7]

The prompt:

To write about an incident that happened in my life that change my mind about something. The thesis should indicate the specific event and the change that occurred. Body should be chronological order of events. The conclusion should restate the main idea and let the reader know that all has been said on the subject.

I tried my best on the essay. I had a handy grammar book when I was writing it. So hopefully I didn't make many mistakes. Please tell me if there are any grammatical errors. I also think that some of my sentence dragged on and I don't know how to rewrite it. Few questions though.

1. Was it any good?
2. Did it meet the requirement of the prompt?
3. Was it a bit wordy?

When I was a child, I was always the one who volunteered to do everything first. That changed when I had my brush with danger. I nearly dropped into a hole, never to be seen again. The incident did not drastically alter my perception although it left me with uncertainty about acting without thinking first.

It was a beautiful morning on this particular day. Birds chirping, squirrels running around, and kids screaming and laughing as they played under the sun. No one was to suspect the ominous atmosphere that would shroud the neighborhood. I stepped out of the house into a beautiful shade of red and brown. The brisk cool breeze blew as I stood and watch the leaves falling. I walked over to the car as the sound of leaves crunching beneath my feet. My father strolled out, jingling the keys in his hand. We were on our way to see his friend whom I affectionately called grandpa. When we reached grandpa's house, my father moseyed up into the house. I was left outside to find something interesting to do. I sauntered around to the side of the house where I spotted a pile of leaves, riped for my picking. I readied myself for jumping, my knees bent slightly; a push of my leg muscles and I was airborne heading toward my destination, the pile of leaves.

To my surprise as I descended, the pile of leaves gave way to emptiness. There was no solid ground to land on. My arms flailed around seeking to grab onto anything. After what seemed like hours, one of my hands finally connected with the laundry pole nearby. My other hand clutched at a patch of weeds. As I hanged precariously above doom, my thoughts turned to spikes that would eagerly embrace me if I were to fall. At least, that's what movies led me to believe. I decided to use what little strength I had to pull myself out. My feet searched for anything to get leverage on. Here my memory failed me as to why I did not call for help.

At last, after what seemed like an eternity-it might have been 2 minutes-I managed to drag my body out. I crashed onto the ground, all strength had left me. Gasping for air as I clutched at my side, I struggled to stand and observe the opponent who nearly defeated me. Being a child, my fears warped itself into curiosity about this similarly oddity of nature. Back then, I did not know how the leaves held itself up when nothing was supporting them. I stood, knees slightly shaken. I could now see that the hole was a tunnel. As I peered into the tunnel, I expected nothing but darkness instead a flicker of light greeted me. My father, man of perfect timing, appeared on the porch. He gestured me to the car as I complied. On the ride home, I told him about the event that had happened. I was expecting a serious response to my story but was met with loud laughter.

A cruel and unusual trick was played on me that day. An event that could have landed me a spot on the nightly new and cause embarrassment if it did not go the way that had happened. Now whenever I think of doing something reckless or stupid, I always remember back to that event of my childhood. If it could end up with me on the news then it's probably best not to do it.

P. Huynh

Writing Feedback / Global warming is the gradual increase in Earth's temperature [4]

I'm on a roll. In my opinion, this is the best essay I have written in a while. Maybe it is due to the wealth of information available about it and my interest in the topic. Critique por favor.

Global warming is the gradual increase in Earth's temperature. The contributing factors that cause the greenhouse effect is carbon dioxide, water vapors, methane, and Nitrous Oxide. Over the past few hundred of years, greenhouse gases are steadily climbing and no indication of slowing or leveling out. With this increase of greenhouse gases, the increase in temperature is resulting in the sea levels rising as much as 10 centimeters by 2025. The result could prove disastrous with land reductions. Global warming can cause changes in weather conditions and events such as El Nino.

The increase in temperature can cause heat-related deaths in the summer. The 2003 European heat wave of 2003 killed over 22,000 people. The 2006 United States heat wave killed 139 Californians where they had 6 consecutive days of over 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Temperature also play an important role in diseases. The rise in temperature is expected to widen the zones of certain diseases such as malaria. In turn, third world nations with little medical care could see the rise of this disease while first world nations which the diseases eliminated could see the return of them. The sea level rise is mainly contributed with the polar ice caps where the largest of ice is located. With this massive ice caps melting, below sea level areas could be flooded and result in a new sea bottom.

The number one contributor being water vapor which is natural occurring. Scientists and researchers must focus to the second largest contributor which is carbon dioxide, CO2. With 19.2% of carbon dioxide attributed to transportation fuels, 20.6% to industrial processes, and 29.5% to power stations. It is painfully obvious that something needs to be done in this area. The 2005 Kyoto Protocol requires developing nations to reduce their greenhouse gas emission. The international community finally realize that global warming is a threat to all countries. The United States government has taken a step towards this with the Energy Act of 2005, an act to use new technologies and practices to reduce greenhouse gases. Furthermore, nations are realizing their dependence on fossil fuels with supplies decreasing. Alternative fuels can play a vital role in stopping global warming. It has become apparent that stopping the emissions of greenhouse gases is an effort that requires all of nations to contribute.

The first step is providing consumers with information about global warming. No other planets known has bared life. This planet is a special gem in a vast infinite ocean which should be treasured and loved. With the support of the every nations and a continued stride toward the conservation of our planet, Earth, will allow future generation to enjoy what this planet has given us.

Writing Feedback / autobiographical narrative account on "Who am I" [2]

This is probably one of the most difficult essay I had to type since it about me and I don't like typing about me. Critique please. Please help me with the final paragraph, the conclusion. I do not know how to end it. I only have 3 sentences for it and I don't really like the way I wrote it... Suggestion please. Also is it a good autobiographical narrative account?

I'm "name insert here without "." I was born in Vietnam but lived in the United States for most of my life. I am a high school senior and on the verge of graduating and moving on to college. I hope to be majoring in Web Design. Many would say that I am a intelligent and quiet boy. I guess they are mostly correct. Although the question of "Who I am" is a difficult question to answer since I barely know my own self. I just have not uncover all of myself to truly know who I am but I will try my best to explain.

Being from an Asian family, there are high expectations of me. Expectation of making good grades in school and such. I will be the first to go to college as my parents only completed high school so everything is riding on me. My parents would say that the children are the representation of the parents. If the kids do something bad then the parents would look bad. The wisdom that spews from my parents mouths are impressive. My parents shaped me into being an intelligence, obedient boy. They do such a good job that if I even try to skip class or something. My conscience would rack at me and so I can never do anything bad.

My younger years were filled with many friends and fun but now hardly. My quietness and shyness developed probably because I like to observe and listen instead of voicing out. Needless to say that if I did need to talk about something then I would. I like short and quick sentences that gets to the point. If there is something to talk about, then it can usually be summed up into one sentence. A good example of this is me and my best friend on the phone. We talk about new stuff here and there then there is silence since we already know much about each other and end up not saying anything for an extended period of time to find something to talk about. I seek out quiet and empty places since I love to read. I usually cannot read my books in front of others because they are so loud and disrupting.

My best friend said that I had such a grim view of the future. I guess I am a pessimist then. After seeing violence and such happen to innocent people. There was still racist remarks going around. It is in Human DNA to feel superior to other people whether it through comments or actions. It is okay though since the world need pessimist to put optimists' views into ground reality. Since the world cannot all be sunshine and flowers dancing. Both of my parents are also pessimist too so that may have something to do with my personality.

This is some of my personality quirks. Even though with these quirks, I would not change anything about myself. Even though a few faults could be done away with.

Writing Feedback / Expository essay on my early years [4]

Thinking back to the time when Power Rangers were still cool, Pokemon was not yet the massive global sensation that it is today. Nostalgia feels me and makes me feel old. Reflecting back on the fun times of my childhood before hitting that dreaded high school and having to act grown up. It was a simpler time back then when I did not have any care in the world. Those were the times which are worth reliving.

My first video game console was the Super Nintendo, I remember that day vividly. My parents and I were in Sears. I laid eyes on the Super Nintendo display case and instantly knew that I need to have it. I could see and hear the excited yells and laughter from other children surrounding it. So I did what normal children do, beg. I tugged at my mother's shirt and begged her to buy it. Eventually she caved in and told my father to get it for me. My face lighted up with triumph, I was jumping up and down in glee that drew the attention of neighboring shoppers. We also grabbed Super Mario World, and when we were finally back home. I played the console for hours on end. This pretty much led to my eventual love for video games.

It was a beautiful Saturday, my father and I went to see Grandpa. The man was not really my grandpa but he looked and acted like one so I called him just that. He used to buy me Kentucky Fried Chicken whenever he would come over to our house to chat. I always love some KFC. After being bored of staying inside, I went outside to play. I eventually ended up on the side of his house. I saw a pile of leaves and began to feel the urge to jump on it. Who can resist a pile of leaves? I decided that I needed my satisfaction and jumped in. Then something strange happened, the ground gave way. I quickly grabbed at anything to keep me from falling. I struggled up and upon inspecting the incident. I saw that it was a tunnel. Who would guess that there would be leaves covering a tunnel? Like some kind of trap for a wild animal. The peculiar thing is that I saw a little flickering light in the tunnel. Being around 5 years of age at this time, my emotions went to fears to fascination and curiosity. There was a light at the end of the tunnel, also seemed like I died. I ran inside to tell my father but of course he didn't believe me. I went outside again and ran to the hole but the hole was nowhere to be found. I shrugged and went back to playing. Thinking back on this event has made me believe that some things in the world are unexplained.

I experienced my first snow in South Carolina. It was an odd time, the meteorologist predicted that there would be snow in the area that I lived. Of course schools were canceled, my friends and I were ecstatic. The snow came heavy for several hours. Afterwards, we got together and had a snowball fight. The snow was not really snow, it was sludge kind of, snow mixed in with dirt. It was rather nasty but this was the first time we saw snow so it did not matter to us. The feeling of pegging my friends with a sludge ball was pure ecstasy. The dull sound of the ball impacting with my friends' heads equal pure laughter as they struggle to hit me. That day was the best day of my life, just having fun with my friends.

Thinking back on my childhood, it reminds me that my life now is not that great. It truly would makes someone want to go back in time and relive their childhood over again. I wish that life would move a little slower but as the end of high school beckons on. I realize that I should have made the best of what I have now and that the past should stay in the past. It is better not to dwell in the past.

Is it okay for an expository essay? Critique please. Also can you look back at my persuasive essay, 21st century. I changed a few things and I would like opinion.

Writing Feedback / persuasive essay on why the 21st century is the best [4]

The 21st century began on January 1, 2001 and last until December 31, 2100. There is still 93 more years till the beginning of the 22nd century. A new century beckons in new ideas and innovation. Things that were dreamt about centuries ago. This century easily tramps past centuries in the advancement of space exploration, alternative energy sources and technology.

Space exploration is one that made major strides in the beginning of this century. In 2001, Dennis Tito became the first space tourist to board the International Space Station. This made the first step towards civilian and tourism in space. In 2003, the Chinese space program launched it first manned flight. There are also many other countries establishing space programs including India, South Korea, and Japan. This could ultimately lead to a healthy space race between countries. In 2004, Opportunity, mars rover, discovered evidence that Mars was once covered by water. This is another step in understanding Mars and could lead to Mars colonization in the future. In 2006, New Horizons began its 10 year journey toward Pluto.

Oil is becoming scarcer and increasingly pricey. There is a greater initiative in the conservation of energy. With the beginning of this century, there is an increasing popularity of alternative fuels. Alternative energy sources such as solar power, biodiesel, and electric is given further research. With each steps at learning more about these energy sources and the implementation of it can reduce pollution. The Bright Green environmentalism emerged in the past years, aiming to use new technology to increase ecological sustainability.

New personal technology has made many lives more enjoyable. The Apple iPods are popular as ever. Simple user interface and quick iTunes transactions may have reduce piracy slightly. Further social networks in games such as the introduction of the PS3 HOME made further emphasis on community. Gamers alike will be able to interact with others and instantly takes friends into games for multiplayer. Also, with the introduction of the next generation consoles, the PS3, Wii, and Xbox 360, gaming is taken to the next level in terms of graphics and physics. Folding@home is a project designed for protein folding and other simulation to seek an understanding to many diseases made its way to the Playstation 3. Gamers can give back to the science community while playing their favorite games.

With this many advancements and achievements in the first 7th year of the 21st century, who knows what will awaits us in the remaining years. With the constant stride towards understanding things around us, humankind may have robot butlers and colonized Mars by the end of this century.

Please critique hard. This is for my senior memory book project. Which is due on Monday, May 7

I also have 2 more essays which I will post tomorrow in a separate topic. Thanks a lot.

Research Papers / Research paper on Science fair project. Help fast due tomorrow. [NEW]

Well, it's not much of a research paper. I been procrastinating lately because winter break is just 2 days away. I can't believe the science fair projects are due when school almost out. I didn't put too much effort into the essay if you read it. I'm pretty bad with introductions and conclusions. Please revise, thanks.

The larger the wing area, the farther it fly which is what the experiment prove.
The basis of the experiment was to find out which paper gliders would fly the farthest.
The day that the experiment was a rather breezy day which results in unusual distances
that the gliders traveled. The experiment was completed at 4:00 PM on Sunday.

The basics for flight is drag, lift, and thrust. Without these and there cannot flight.
The gliders that were used in the experiment were the basic square shape crafted on 12x12 cardstock. After that each were labeled with numbers to identify them apart. The power tape was stretched over the ground in the backyard. The distances were measured in meters. The gliders were released at the beginning of the power tape. The technique used to throw the gliders was a simple procedure. The plane was held behind the head and launched forward. Each glider had 10 trials. The distance were written in a table in the logbook.

After that, the table was analyzed and the average distances of each glider was calculated. Bar graphs were then made for each glider. X axis being the number of trials and Y being the distance. After the points were connected, the average distance of the gliders was put in as a red horizontal line on the graph. The result of the experiment was that the smaller the wing, the shorter distance it travels. As you increase the wing area, there will also be an increase in distance traveled. As is evident in the experiment. The small glider with the wing area of 29.25 cm2 traveled the least distance with 1.69 meters. The medium glider with the wing area of 37 cm2 traveled an average distance of 2.13 meters. The large glider with the wing area of 41 cm2 traveled an average distance of 2.92 meters.

Though the plane also had to have weight. Without weight, the glider would not travel very far even with a large wing area. Since without weights, the glider would have been to light. The material also needed to be rather durable. Newspaper which is too flimsy would have make a bad glider. The gliders did not have rudders or elevators added to them. Adding these in would have also affected the results. The experiment proved my hypothesis that the larger the wing area the farther it would fly.

Wing area is important among other things, too small a wing and it would barely fly. Too large a wing would barely fly too. Depending on the weight and thrust of the plane. The experiment was a success, which prove that a large wing area contributes to longer flight to achieve more distance.