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Posts by lina927
Joined: Nov 14, 2010
Last Post: Nov 24, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 11  

From: Netherlands

Displayed posts: 12
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lina927   
Nov 16, 2010
Graduate / "programming and computer networks" - Statement Of Purpose (Ms in Computer Science) [4]

You could try to talk your interest and intention in attending interesting computer network courses that are given at the university, interest to participate in some research project in a computer network lab. Make sure that you motivate these choices with your past experiences/achievements like a bridge. You could also talk about a dream job that you wish to have upon graduation, and discuss how and which courses or projects could help you to achieve this goal, etc.

I think you get an idea of the underlying strategy here.
lina927   
Nov 15, 2010
Graduate / Austin Aerospace Dept, Material Eng - Req: A review of my SOP for University of Texas [6]

You seem to have a good profile, also first two paragraphs sound good.

May be you could try to mix up 3rd, 4th and 5th paragraphs with 6th and 7th in a cause and effect fashion. What I mean is, I see that you have some relevant experiences. So you could possibly try to use these experiences as a motivation and bridge to your purposes. Purposes could be, working on a particular project in Dr. C's lab or following a course of your interest by Dr. E or doing an internship at LM in some particular area or getting involved in a Prof's research work on which you have some prior knowledge/keen interest, etc. If you could do this, then it will be a good SOP.

All the best
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / "programming and computer networks" - Statement Of Purpose (Ms in Computer Science) [4]

Your introduction paragraph is very impressive, and congratulations on the same. This really shows your dedication and mentality towards achieving something. However after this, you might want to rewrite it.

SOP is to inform the faculty about applicant's intentions/purposes at the university and after graduating. This is what they want to know through one's SOP. Now for doing this, applicant's might need to refer to their past achievements, but not just that. So from my understand SOP should contain, more of what exactly is your purpose by doing MS at this university and what are your plans after graduation, and less of your achievements/experiences/influential incidents . Achievements/experiences/influential incidents could be very useful in justifying or connecting your purpose part. And it is always better not to make very general statements like "My ultimate career objective is to make commendable contributions to the field of computing,"

Rest is your's, all the best
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / Science&Technology, Statement of Purpose (EE.PHD) [3]

Hey, if you are applying for a PhD, I do not think this is a good SOP. You need to write about what you want to do at the university you are applying and why (for answering this why, you could use the achievements you have written above). Also what do you want to do once you have a PhD.

All the best.
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / Ph.D. SOP - Elec Eng to Civil Eng [5]

Very impressive first paragraph I would say.

Except first and last paragraph, rest is you talking about your achievements, not purpose. In short, you have less of SOP in this draft. You might want to increase the purpose and reduce your achievements. Use your achievements to bridge/justify your purposes.

All the best
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / Petroleum engineering: how you would add diversity to the graduate class? [3]

Hey, I think they want to know a few of your personal qualities. And they might be more interested to know about your qualities that are not related to technical domain, like some good quality from culture or some special interest of yours that might be unique.

In short, I would write something that is outside my study program, and that is helpful for society or fellow students.

Rest is yours, all the best
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / Why do people attend college or university (degree, career, educated citizens)? [4]

According to me, most people attend college or university to attain a degree (I agree) and for a good career (I agree). I do not completely agree with "And to become matured and well-educated citizens of the country who can contribute to its progress".

I am sure that students become more mature during the time they spent at college, and it definitely makes them a better citizen and contribute to the country's progress. However, in my view this contribution is mostly indirect. Very few people understands the necessity and right on the contribution he/she can make for his/her country. The government's big picture about starting a university is definitely includes all your three points. However, students don't really understand the third point. Mostly the nation development part is skipped, they just get busy with "my life".

I think, this is big issue. It can be rooted down to school education and parent's behavior. And a parent's behavior could be rooted back to their school education. I think, we should give more importance to ethics, history and one's contribution/right in country's development in schools. I have a feeling that, we don't really learn social science to its essence, and this makes that italics skipped in last paragraph very easy.
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / "my achievements in academics" - Statement of Purpose for MS in Computer Science [4]

Sravan,

Except a few sentences from the last paragraph i.e. "Now, after a stint of two years experience at <company name> I am motivated and enthusiastic to pursue MS in computer science with specialization in security at the esteemed <university_name>. I consider myself fortunate and privileged to be guided by the excellent faculty which will enhance my capabilities and skills. I am confident and sure that my strength in mathematics and aptitude will facilitate my development in computer science.", I do not see statement of purpose (SOP).

You should consider rewriting it. I may be harsh, but my reason is. SOP is to get the faculty get to know the students intentions/purposes at the university and after graduating. This is what they want to know through one's SOP. Now for doing this, applicant's might need to refer to their past achievements. So from my understand SOP should contain, more of what exactly is your purpose by doing MS at this university and what are your plans after graduation, and less of your achievements/experiences/influential incidents . Achievements/experiences/influential incidents could be very useful in justifying or connecting your purpose part.
lina927   
Nov 14, 2010
Graduate / Statement of Objectives for PhD in Control Systems [3]

Dear all,

I am very much impressed by this essay forum, and I really appreciate the good work. I am planning to apply to a few European Universities for Phd in my area of specialization i.e. control systems. I am yet to include one paragraph that will be university specific, except that this is what I could best draft. It will be of great help, if you could help me to improve my statement. Thanks a lot in advance.

"Statement of Objectives for Doctoral Studies
I am XXXX, a Systems & Control graduate student from Delft University of Technology (TU Delft), and I would like to pursue my doctoral studies under your guidance at XXXX University. With this essay, I am glad to convey my objectives in doing a PhD.

XXXX University
Write about control research at XXXX University.

Why Research Career
After working for an year, I resigned from my design engineer position at XXXX and accepted a research opportunity under Prof. XXXX (PhD, Cornell University) at XXXX. I worked on controller development for Atomic Force Microscopes with Dr. XXXX (PhD, EPFL Lausanne). The work I carried out gave me a foundation and increased my interest in control systems. These experiences suggested that research career is suitable for me. With this interest and foundation in control system, I joined TU Delft, to do Master of Science (MSc) in Systems & Control with the objective of pursuing PhD upon graduation.

At TU Delft, I am impressed with the education methodology and its effectiveness. Most of my MSc courses consists a combination of theory, simulation and practical experiment. The course Integration Project really helped me to get a good understanding of the field Systems & Control as it requires the application of theory learned in Control Theory, Filtering and Identification and Physical Modelling for Systems and Control, which are obligatory courses of my program. During coursework, I enjoyed studying Robust Control and Model Predictive Control. Their applicability to systems with uncertainty or non-linearity is something that is inevitable in real life problems. From August 2010, I have been doing my graduation project on Nonlinear Vehicle Dynamics Control. During the past few months, I see myself getting more involved with the project as it is a real life control problem. Trying to prove stability and improve robustness of nonlinear controller is really keeping me engaged these days. I am confident that I will be able to achieve the project objective in due course of time. Studying at TU Delft has proven again that it is this research field that interests me the most and I should further expand my horizon for a research career in the field of controls. I am convinced that doing PhD from XXXX University would be a major step towards this objective.

Teaching
During undergraduate studies, with one of my seniors, I used to conduct lectures and workshops for junior students in the area of analog electronics, digital electronics and robotics. Our practical oriented teaching was highly appreciated and with each session, more students enrolled to learn from us. This experience was an eye-opener as I found teaching very enjoyable. As of now, I have a dream of becoming a teacher at XXXX university. I would like to make good use of the teaching assistant opportunity during PhD. I see this as a good chance where I can sharpen my teaching skills such as finding the right pace students need, offering timely assistance, making assignments that can help the students understand concepts, taking feedback from students, etc.

Quality of Education
During undergraduate studies, I found teaching methodology in my University less challenging. My undergraduate grades are not very good for the same reason. It didn't give much importance in educating and assessing concepts. As a student, I yearned for more knowledge and spent my days in devising and implementing projects. This not only enhanced my command over the domain but also won me several first prizes in national level technical competitions and an IEEE Student Design Contest prize. I realize that my undergraduate studies would have been more enjoyable if the education system were more challenging with practical learning. These events helped me to make an important decision that in future I will try to improve quality of education in XXXX [my country]. During my stay at XXXX university, I would like to observe and learn how high quality education is developed and maintained. I am convinced that I will get to learn many relevant aspects from academicians, students, administrative staff, and the infrastructure at XXXX university.

University - Industry Relations
I have been observing that facilitating University - Industry relations is a delicate task which is not successful everywhere. And this has a significant impact on nation's long term development. For sustainable development, such relations are essential for research projects that are vital for development. Also such relations could act as funding source and thereby reduce burden on public funds from government agencies. In future, I look forward to demonstrate and promote successful University - Industry relations in XXXX [my country]. Towards this long term goal, during PhD, I would like to learn how such relations are made and how to approach an industry for funding a project.

Conclusion
To conclude, I would like to do PhD with the following objectives,
To get good exposure from the research community at XXXX university
To become a researcher in the field of controls
To sharpen my teaching skills with the help of teaching assistantship
To observe and learn how quality education is developed and maintained
To learn how University - Industry relations are made

I thank you for your time and am really looking forward to hear from you."

Best Regards & Thanks
-Anil
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