numbaone0920
Jan 2, 2011
Undergraduate / "Engineers turn ideas (technical, scien..." Cornell Engineering Undergrad Essay [3]
But it say OR talk about your interest in engineering.
But it say OR talk about your interest in engineering.
numbaone0920
Jan 2, 2011
Undergraduate / "Engineers turn ideas (technical, scien..." Cornell Engineering Undergrad Essay [3]
*****GUYS THIS ESSAY IS DUE AT MIDNIGHT PLEASE HELP A BROTHER OUT!
PROMPT: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.
I'm going to bring this nation into a new era of excellence. Why?-I'm going to be an engineer; I'm going add wood to a flame of innovative thinking.
Each period of growth in America is marked by a great idea that helped propel the rest of the country into action. 1793: Eli Whitney invented the modern version of the cotton gin. This sparked an era in which the South prospered, with "King Cotton" dominating the period. Europe relied on America for this raw material, which meant that our economy went up-the country as a whole was doing better. Americans of the early 1800s were able to live better because of a man figured out a way to easily separate cotton from its seeds.
The entirety of the Industrial Revolution was based on little innovations, all the work of engineers. Again, this led to a time of economic stability. A similar pattern is seen with Henry Ford and his Model T car in the early 20th century and personal computers in the 1990s.
So, I turn to Cornell with the intention to contribute to starting an era of prosperity. My time at Cornell would be much more than a GPA-I need to stir my passions and create an environment to allow my sparks of imagination to be like firework, progressing in my journey to ground-breaking engineering.
*****GUYS THIS ESSAY IS DUE AT MIDNIGHT PLEASE HELP A BROTHER OUT!
PROMPT: Engineers turn ideas (technical, scientific, mathematical) into reality. Tell us about an engineering idea you have or your interest in engineering. Explain how Cornell Engineering can help you further explore this idea or interest.
I'm going to bring this nation into a new era of excellence. Why?-I'm going to be an engineer; I'm going add wood to a flame of innovative thinking.
Each period of growth in America is marked by a great idea that helped propel the rest of the country into action. 1793: Eli Whitney invented the modern version of the cotton gin. This sparked an era in which the South prospered, with "King Cotton" dominating the period. Europe relied on America for this raw material, which meant that our economy went up-the country as a whole was doing better. Americans of the early 1800s were able to live better because of a man figured out a way to easily separate cotton from its seeds.
The entirety of the Industrial Revolution was based on little innovations, all the work of engineers. Again, this led to a time of economic stability. A similar pattern is seen with Henry Ford and his Model T car in the early 20th century and personal computers in the 1990s.
So, I turn to Cornell with the intention to contribute to starting an era of prosperity. My time at Cornell would be much more than a GPA-I need to stir my passions and create an environment to allow my sparks of imagination to be like firework, progressing in my journey to ground-breaking engineering.
numbaone0920
Jan 2, 2011
Undergraduate / "to ignite my aspirations" - My passion to become an engineer at U penn [7]
This is phenomenal. However, maybe I would add snippets of actual rocket knowledge. Anyone could have said that, but if you say a little more about that combustion or add in some rocket terminology, it will provide depth to your essay, so people know you're the real deal. Overall though, it's great. Keep it up.
This is phenomenal. However, maybe I would add snippets of actual rocket knowledge. Anyone could have said that, but if you say a little more about that combustion or add in some rocket terminology, it will provide depth to your essay, so people know you're the real deal. Overall though, it's great. Keep it up.
numbaone0920
Dec 26, 2010
Undergraduate / "my inherited traits and lived experiences" - WHY BROWN [6]
Overall, it's not bad. But it's just that--not bad. Brown wants you to stand out among the crowd. This is almost the safe essay. I can see that it doesn't lack passion. That last sentence shows a bit of desperation. I dare you to take it a notch up and manifest your passion for Brown. Perhaps you can talk about why ONLY Brown can offer you such an opportunity. You can say that about any college.
Was there a character limit on this essay?
Overall, it's not bad. But it's just that--not bad. Brown wants you to stand out among the crowd. This is almost the safe essay. I can see that it doesn't lack passion. That last sentence shows a bit of desperation. I dare you to take it a notch up and manifest your passion for Brown. Perhaps you can talk about why ONLY Brown can offer you such an opportunity. You can say that about any college.
Was there a character limit on this essay?
numbaone0920
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "NYU is 'In and of the City' and..." -NYU Prompt [6]
Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate it I'll reply with an edited version of #1. Thank y'all. Merry Christmas x4!
Thank you guys so much! I really appreciate it I'll reply with an edited version of #1. Thank y'all. Merry Christmas x4!
numbaone0920
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "NYU is 'In and of the City' and..." -NYU Prompt [6]
PROMPT: NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?
I wrote three different responses. There's a 500 character limit, so I wrote a bunch of different leads. Please tell me which segments of which essays are the best so I can make the best essay. Or just pick one best essay and elaborate on it for me. THANK YOU
#1
I consider myself, to an extent, sheltered from what the world ha s to offer. It's unrealistic to travel to each region of the world, but studying at NYU will affect to make me more versed with the on-goings of the world. NYU is the premier model of diversity, a true salad bowl representing every kind of person. I want to meet new kinds of people and through those experiences, strive to become well-versed in many different cultures.
#2
NYU's immense student population and diversity, coupled with its top-notch study abroad program makes it the premier place for a student to become well-versed with different cultures. I desire to learn more, and I imagine that every student that experiences NYU has his or her eyes opened to many different cultures in NYU.
#3
Can I have an NYU salad bowl with some Italian dressing? A bit corny, but NYU is truly the premier school to become better acquainted with different cultures. I have a cousin that is at NYU and she is making lots of new friends with lots of different backgrounds. I imagine I will have the same experience.
PROMPT: NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?
I wrote three different responses. There's a 500 character limit, so I wrote a bunch of different leads. Please tell me which segments of which essays are the best so I can make the best essay. Or just pick one best essay and elaborate on it for me. THANK YOU
#1
I consider myself, to an extent, sheltered from what the world ha s to offer. It's unrealistic to travel to each region of the world, but studying at NYU will affect to make me more versed with the on-goings of the world. NYU is the premier model of diversity, a true salad bowl representing every kind of person. I want to meet new kinds of people and through those experiences, strive to become well-versed in many different cultures.
#2
NYU's immense student population and diversity, coupled with its top-notch study abroad program makes it the premier place for a student to become well-versed with different cultures. I desire to learn more, and I imagine that every student that experiences NYU has his or her eyes opened to many different cultures in NYU.
#3
Can I have an NYU salad bowl with some Italian dressing? A bit corny, but NYU is truly the premier school to become better acquainted with different cultures. I have a cousin that is at NYU and she is making lots of new friends with lots of different backgrounds. I imagine I will have the same experience.
numbaone0920
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "Gregor Mendel's theories of heredity" - the paragraph(sop) [3]
"I was in my eighth grade when I first learnted about Gregor Mendel's theories of heredity. It intrigued me that how the then- known "factors, " being so small in size, had the potential to determine the traits of an individual. Most importantly, Mendel's illimitableunlimited amount of dedication and perseverance to prove what he believed in motivated me to display the same thirst to excel in my academics. "
numbaone0920
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / "In the name of Jesus Christ" intellectual interests, their evolution -Cornell CAS [2]
[[[PROMPT: College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.]]]
Wednesday, December 5, 2001
Dear God,
It's almost Christmas. At church I'm gonna be a lamb in the play at school. Miss Nocito said I was a good lamb. At recess today, David said he asked Santa for a bike. I'm gonna ask him for Gameboy. But can you make sure I don't actually see Santa? Because I'm very scared of him, but I really really really want the bike. I know that you'll do it for me. That's why I love you.
Amen
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Dear God,
At church, youth group is so fun! I didn't know church was so fun! The other day, we went bowling and Sunday is "Hallelujah Night." I don't really want to dress up as anything though. I think Christine is going to be there though, so I'm excited.
Oh yeah, my mom said my prayers are more powerful than her's, even though I'm younger. She said I should pray for Dad to stop smoking and to be more healthy. So God, please help my dad to stop smoking. Make him go to church and make him love you. He's always away at work all the time and never has any family time. Please let him be a better Christian.
Amen
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Dear God,
I just found out I'm going to move to Georgia-I'm pretty confused. Why Georgia? There's a song called Why Georgia, and I don't really know what it's about, but that is the story of my life right now: Why Georgia? What's over there anyways, peaches, peaches, and more peaches? Brian made fun of me the other day saying that my parents are going to sell fried peach-skins for business. I had no idea what that was, but it really didn't help that the school I'm going is called Peachtree Ridge High School, which is on Old Peachtree Road.
I just got settled in, it seems like. I've had a crush on Christine for pretty much all of middle school, even when she went out with Justin for a little. I'm especially going to miss my youth group at church. Everyone likes me because I play guitar and the high school girls always call me cute.
This is my first test of faith. I'm going to trust you, God. Help me...
I pray in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Dear God,
At church, I got to play my electric guitar on stage for the first time last week. It was great being on stage watching some 200 kids worship you together. I think this is my calling, God. Anoint me further. I know that I am more musically talented than everyone on praise team, but sometimes I'm not able to use my ability to its potential because I'm not as experienced as others. God, give me the chance to use my talents.
Today is my dad's birthday. Happy birthday, Dad. Too bad he's in Vietnam on another long business trip. Lord, help him quit his smoking habits. More importantly, capture his soul-make him go to church. I cry at night sometimes wanting better for Dad.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dear God,
College on my mind. I got some schools that I really want to go to. It seems that every year I realize a little more of my potential, even this year. I know I'm smarter than I was last year, and not as smart as I'll be next year. I really wish I could go back to ninth grade with my twelfth grade brain. Whether I'll go to the school that I want to, I don't know. Whether my dad will stop smoking and start going to church, I don't know.
What I do know is I was wrong to ask for those things. My wants should be Your wants. My heart should match your heart. Lord, I want all these things, but now I lift it up to you. May Your will be done.
In the name of Jesus Christ
Amen.
[[[Please give me some feedback on how to make the essay stronger! I feel like this is a great idea but I just need to capitalize on it more by making it way better! Which sections can I/should I emphasize?]]]
[[[PROMPT: College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.]]]
Wednesday, December 5, 2001
Dear God,
It's almost Christmas. At church I'm gonna be a lamb in the play at school. Miss Nocito said I was a good lamb. At recess today, David said he asked Santa for a bike. I'm gonna ask him for Gameboy. But can you make sure I don't actually see Santa? Because I'm very scared of him, but I really really really want the bike. I know that you'll do it for me. That's why I love you.
Amen
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Dear God,
At church, youth group is so fun! I didn't know church was so fun! The other day, we went bowling and Sunday is "Hallelujah Night." I don't really want to dress up as anything though. I think Christine is going to be there though, so I'm excited.
Oh yeah, my mom said my prayers are more powerful than her's, even though I'm younger. She said I should pray for Dad to stop smoking and to be more healthy. So God, please help my dad to stop smoking. Make him go to church and make him love you. He's always away at work all the time and never has any family time. Please let him be a better Christian.
Amen
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Dear God,
I just found out I'm going to move to Georgia-I'm pretty confused. Why Georgia? There's a song called Why Georgia, and I don't really know what it's about, but that is the story of my life right now: Why Georgia? What's over there anyways, peaches, peaches, and more peaches? Brian made fun of me the other day saying that my parents are going to sell fried peach-skins for business. I had no idea what that was, but it really didn't help that the school I'm going is called Peachtree Ridge High School, which is on Old Peachtree Road.
I just got settled in, it seems like. I've had a crush on Christine for pretty much all of middle school, even when she went out with Justin for a little. I'm especially going to miss my youth group at church. Everyone likes me because I play guitar and the high school girls always call me cute.
This is my first test of faith. I'm going to trust you, God. Help me...
I pray in the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Dear God,
At church, I got to play my electric guitar on stage for the first time last week. It was great being on stage watching some 200 kids worship you together. I think this is my calling, God. Anoint me further. I know that I am more musically talented than everyone on praise team, but sometimes I'm not able to use my ability to its potential because I'm not as experienced as others. God, give me the chance to use my talents.
Today is my dad's birthday. Happy birthday, Dad. Too bad he's in Vietnam on another long business trip. Lord, help him quit his smoking habits. More importantly, capture his soul-make him go to church. I cry at night sometimes wanting better for Dad.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Dear God,
College on my mind. I got some schools that I really want to go to. It seems that every year I realize a little more of my potential, even this year. I know I'm smarter than I was last year, and not as smart as I'll be next year. I really wish I could go back to ninth grade with my twelfth grade brain. Whether I'll go to the school that I want to, I don't know. Whether my dad will stop smoking and start going to church, I don't know.
What I do know is I was wrong to ask for those things. My wants should be Your wants. My heart should match your heart. Lord, I want all these things, but now I lift it up to you. May Your will be done.
In the name of Jesus Christ
Amen.
[[[Please give me some feedback on how to make the essay stronger! I feel like this is a great idea but I just need to capitalize on it more by making it way better! Which sections can I/should I emphasize?]]]
numbaone0920
Dec 24, 2010
Undergraduate / Demanding Columbia-"what is most appealing about Columbia & why?" [7]
Yeaeh I just wanted to point out that in the beginning of your second paragraph you call the campus "gigantic" but in the very next setence you say the campus is "small and cozy." These are directly constrasting with each other I think you might want to rethink that segment.
Yeaeh I just wanted to point out that in the beginning of your second paragraph you call the campus "gigantic" but in the very next setence you say the campus is "small and cozy." These are directly constrasting with each other I think you might want to rethink that segment.
numbaone0920
Dec 23, 2010
Undergraduate / Academic opportunities; near the best cultural city - "Why Swarthmore?" [5]
Wow this is great! You convinced me to want to go to Swarthmore, haha.
I'd go off with a bolder introduction, or just a sentence to grab the reader's attention. That first paragraph is the first reason you want to go: the size. All the content is good, but it would be just fantastic if you had a nice attention-grabbing first line to grab their attention. Keep up the good work, good luck on Swarthmore!
Wow this is great! You convinced me to want to go to Swarthmore, haha.
I'd go off with a bolder introduction, or just a sentence to grab the reader's attention. That first paragraph is the first reason you want to go: the size. All the content is good, but it would be just fantastic if you had a nice attention-grabbing first line to grab their attention. Keep up the good work, good luck on Swarthmore!