Undergraduate / "diversity doesn't alway work" - WISCONSIN- WHAT DO YOU BRING? [2]

Prompt:The University values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?

Walking through the hallways of Cambridge Rindge and Latin, only a glance is necessary to notice how truly diverse we are. Our student body is roughly half white and half minority, encompassing a wide variety of cultural backgrounds. Our teaching staff is also quite diverse and our readings and studies reflect many different cultures.

However, diversity doesn't alway work. There are many communities where different groups don't mesh at all. Imagine a room full of the most interesting assortment of people, yet no one feels like talking and everyone is silent. What I have learned is that without communication and integration, diversity is purposeless. Cambridge is special because there really is genuine interaction and connection between different groups. My friends come from numerous races, nationalities and socioeconomic backgrounds. In of each of my extracurriculars - soccer, baseball and debate - diversity has never been an obstacle to team chemistry and success. Despite the achievement gap present in our society at large, my AP and honor classes are relatively diverse.

At CRLS, Diversity contributes to learning and understanding. When we studied the Haitian Revolution in history class, the Haitian students helped us understand how the leader of the Revolution, Toussaint L'Ouverture, was their national hero shrouded in folklore, and described what it had been like to live in Haiti. This perspective was more real than anything we had read in our books.

Diversity has taught me that, if we do not communicate and engage with each other, we cannot gain or learn anything. As my experiences have demonstrated, diversity clicks only if there is curiosity, excitement and interaction. The college campus I hope to attend would work in exactly the same manner. The individual features that we bring to the table can culminate to form a larger identity that is rich and multifaceted. Next fall, my intellectual curiosity and proactive outreach will make me a strong contributor to this process.

I'm really looking for critique if this answers the prompt or not. Please be honest and hash if necesary. Thank you

Undergraduate / Baseball, MICHIGAN - COMMUNITY [2]

Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

Highschool Baseball Team

Baseball is the ultimate team sport of individual performances. The thrill of smacking line drives, of tracking fly balls which nobody thought could be caught - these are all feelings of individual effort. Unlike other sports, your ability to score is not affected by the person passing you the ball. Opportunities in baseball are entirely your own. What then is the importance of team chemistry in a sport in which almost every play is dominated by individual performance?

I noticed a general trend in my high school team throughout our games: it seamed either as if everyone was hitting well or as if no one was hitting at all. At our best, we were like a well-oiled machine - our big hits always came in bunches. As the center-fielder, I have the opportunity to set a standard for my teammates. By making plays, I can inspire them. A diving catch, just as much as it stops a run, fills a team with adrenaline. Sensational play provides confidence and motivation.

On the other hand, we were knocked out of the state tournament by ten runs last year. Everyone quickly became demoralized. The pitcher was very hittable, but our confidence was nonexistent. With little success to visualize or upbeat play to inspire us, we faded noiselessly. There became nothing to play for.

Looking forward, I will be part of a team with 10 seniors. Most of us have played together for the last four years of high school.- some far more than that. Our success will not be so much a function of our individual talent, but more of how much inspiration we draw from each others' skills and abilities.

.I'm looking Critique on whether this answers the prompt of community or not. My parents told me it was well written, but that it was a vignette about individuals vs. the team and doesn't answer the prompt. Be Harsh please

Undergraduate / "The Judge is God" - Common App: Debate [3]

"Who is the judge?"
"The judge is God."
"Why is he God?"
"Because he decides who wins or loses. Not my opponent."
"Who is your opponent?"
"He does not exist."
"Why does he not exist?"
"Because he is a mere dissenting voice of the truth I speak!"
In the movie The Great Debaters, the charismatic Melvin B. Tolson, played by Denzel Washington, forces his debaters to recite this memorable catechism. This quote is inspirational to me because it embodies the most important aspect of debate. There is no right or wrong - the judge is impartial, a higher power. I control my own destiny; therefore if I argue perfectly, I can never lose. Understanding this has empowered me to believe in myself and to appreciate the intellectual structure of debate. In Lincoln-Douglas debate, resolutions are real-world issues centered upon important philosophical questions and conflicts. One must argue both sides of a resolution, regardless of one's own opinions on the matter. This has forced me to become adept at looking at issues from all angles.

Debate has changed how I see the world. It has taught me that the justification of law and policy always lies at the intersection of moral principles and pragmatic considerations. For example, a resolution about mandatory vaccinations comes to mind. Ideologically, it was a conflict between individual rights and public welfare. In a democracy, which should be given priority? Practically, it was a debate about the science of eradicating diseases, the logistics of vaccinating everyone, and the number of people who would receive vaccinations even if they weren't mandatory. A winning argument had to both address the scientific aspects of vaccination policy and make a compelling case for how we should interpret fundamental American values.

Well-prepared debaters are familiar with all the major arguments and evidence at hand. Therefore, knowledge and intelligence are not always enough to win. Great debaters win by catching their opponents off-guard. I fluster my opponents by going out of my way to include less well-known examples of history, which are harder to refute. In my rebuttals, I surprise my competition with bold counterarguments they are not prepared to hear. Debate has pushed me to think outside of the box. It has also forced me to be a much more attentive listener.

Most of the opponents we face benefit from having debate as an official course. Our program, on the other hand, is run by a few Harvard students on a volunteer basis. Although very knowledgeable and resourceful, they only have time to meet once a week. To keep up with the competition, I spend many hours researching evidence and constructing my arguments independently. I always seek advice and ideas from whomever I can. I've earned my success through self-motivation and by taking initiative.

Four years ago, I was the only freshman on a team of seven. Hardly anyone outside of the debate team even knew it existed. Starting sophomore year, I made sure - through word of mouth - that everyone I knew was aware of the team. Now, debate has become one of the most popular extracurriculars in our school. I am co-captain of a twenty-five member team, and mentoring new debaters is an activity I truly enjoy. While my teammates and coaches also deserve credit for our progress, I've assumed a leadership role through the influence and responsibility I've exerted.

I am a fairly good debater, but I'm not a champion. I've gone 4-0 at tournaments, but I've also lost fairly badly on other occasions. I'd be dishonest if I told you winning doesn't matter, yet if I wrote only about my success, I wouldn't be telling you what is most interesting about myself. The skills and wisdom I've gained through debate are an important part of what defines me. I have learned how to lead, how to compete, and most importantly, how to think sharply.

Undergraduate / BowDOIN SUPPLEMENT 2010- INTELLECUTAL ENGAGEMENT, COMMON GOOD CONNECTION TO PLACE [7]

Connection To Place

My paternal grandfather, an engineer and wine-lover, told me what makes a wine great is the taste of it's unique terroir - soil, gradient, and weather.

We are all influenced by our environment. Certainly, one would expect that I am a product of Cambridge. The social diversity of Cambridge, the people I've met, and the feel of its neighborhoods have all contributed subliminally to my identity.

Unlike wine, however, people are influenced by multiple places. My father is American and my Mom is from Italy. Born in Milan, I am a dual-citizen.

My time in Italy has been marked only by fleeting summer vacations, and I do not speak the language well. Yet, Italy enchants me largely through memories of my family and stories my mom has told me. At my family's house in Santa Margherita, I remember playing cards with my grandfather in the shade under the fig trees when I was little. In Milan, whenever I see kids playing soccer on the street I am tempted to wonder how my life would've been different had my parents decided to raise me in Italy.

But, I've lived in Cambridge for almost all of my life.
Any winemaker would admit that, although incredibly important, terroir only leaves a small trace in wine. Similarly, the places that influence us greatly need not be the places where we have spent the most time.