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Posts by BrookW
Joined: Mar 19, 2011
Last Post: Mar 29, 2011
Threads: 4
Posts: 12  

From: China

Displayed posts: 16
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BrookW   
Mar 28, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS: some people think building more roads can reduce traffic problems... [4]

Topic: some people think building more roads can reduce traffic problems, what do you think?

The traffic problems have become one of the most serious issues around the world, which is considerably disturbing people nowadays. Someone claim that the problems can be reduced by building more roads, but I believe that some other crucial measures have to be taken to resolve the problems although building more roads can be helpful in some occasions.

Firstly, I won't deny that the traffic problems in some places are resulting from the scarcity of roads resources. In such cases, widening the existing streets or building more new roads would absolutely solve these problems to a certain extent.

However, road resource seems always limited while facing the dramatic increasing of population and transportation vehicles. In those big modern cities, millions of vehicles are crowding on the streets day and night. Meanwhile, thousands of new joiners are rushing into the "Traffic Jam Club" every day as well. On the contrary, in many cities where have serious traffic problems, there have been no much space for building or widening roads.

How can we cope with the situation? From my perspective, at least three measures have to be taken into account besides building more roads. The first one is controlling the traffic volume by setting a threshold to all non-public transportations, for example, raising the parking fees in those most crowded areas. The second one is to highly improve the convenience and efficiency of the public transportation system and lower the ticket price. The last one is to optimize the city plan, such as separating the outdoor functional areas which have been too much centralized in city centre.

To sum up, building more roads could be helpful in some places, but the rapidly increased population and vehicle volume should take more responsibilities to this problem, so some other measures such as traffic volume control, public transportation improvement and city plan optimization, have to be taken into account to address the traffic problems.
BrookW   
Mar 28, 2011
Student Talk / How to improve English writing? Learning through reading. [127]

Hi,

I am studing for my IELTS test too. In terms of tips of improving writing and reading, I'd like to share some experience of mine.

1. writing part:

The first challenge to me is that I have no much ideas about the topic, so I don't know what to write. Certainly mainly because I am not familiar with those topics, even never thought them over before. In this case, I have to go through those topics and make some ideas in my mind as more as possible, now I have felt better, but it does take time.

The second one is how to write. The essay structure, the sentence structure, grammar and vacabulary... all of these seem problems to us. To this problem, I suggest to read some examiner's sample answers, then you can get some ideas about how to organize your essay and what kind of sentences you can use normally in an essay. Of course, you have to practise writting some essays by youself, and post them here to get some comments from others. Also recommend to read some articles here, could be good reference for you.

2. Reading part:

Actually, I am ok on reading part. I think the biggest problem of reading is the lack of vacabulary, no one can help on this but youself. Of course, it must be helpful to read more, and be patient.

Hope it is helpful for you!

Brook
BrookW   
Mar 27, 2011
Writing Feedback / People are more independent in the modern world? - IELTS [4]

Hi Fdrick,

I think your evidence don't strongly support your argument in the 3rd paragraph. Modern machines such as cell phone, and internet seem to help people more in connecting with each other. High qualification may help on making decision independently, but experience and suggestions from others seem to be more important in many occations.

Futhermore, I think the latter view of the topic is only to say "more independent", but your point "don't need any support from others" seems to be a little more extreme.
BrookW   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS Essay: About job assignment between men and women [5]

Topic: Males and females are different in many ways. Some jobs can be done by men, but other jobs are just suitable for women. Do you agree or disagree?

Overall, I disagree with the opinion expressed. Males and females do have many different characteristics in various aspects and behave differently in daily lives, but it doesn't mean that they have nothing in common in working environment.

Normally, both men and women can acquire the same abilities required in any jobs if they are trained in the appropriate ways. That's why most of the people usually have one or more colleagues of opposite sex. Certainly, I won't deny that some jobs are likely more suitable for females such as nurse or kindergarten teacher, due to women are more patient and careful than men. But we have to admit that many men are working as same as women in these areas since they may have the same ability or contribute in other aspects, like to carry patients on the back in emergency, or bring more active atmosphere to children.

Furthermore, with the rapid development of science and technology, the heavy physical jobs can be increasingly operated directly by modern machine, also majority of complicated logical calculation works can be handled by smart computing systems. While human are likely to pay more attention on monitoring and management in working environment in the future. So the physical and mental difference between males and females will affect much less on the assignment of jobs.

In conclusion, many jobs can be done by both men and women, although some jobs are covered mostly by women, but doesn't mean men can not be involved, and vice versa.
BrookW   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Select students with academic ablity or teach them together? [6]

Hi,

I think the topic is talking about "which approach is the better one for schooling system", but not mentioned the argument is resulting from the scarcity of educational resources. Also, from my perspective, both of these views can not help a lot if do there is a educational resources problem. So, may be not appropriate to link the educational resources problem to your point.
BrookW   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Government should build more nuclear power plant as it is eco friendly. [6]

Hi Ratree,

You really did very good jobs in opening and discussion of both views, but being a reader, I am not convinced by your conclusion in the last paragragh. As you stated in the 2nd paragragh, the nuclear plant also have a lot of positive effects on this world, how can you assert that it should not be supported. I think it's better to do some comparation between the both views and then give your final opinion.
BrookW   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS about if creative artists can express their ideas in any way they like [4]

Hi all,

Here is my new essay about below topic, I am very appreciated to get your comments,thanks in advance.

Topic: Creative artists should always be given freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Response:

Overall, I disagree with this opinion expressed particularly, because any unconditional freedom is impossible to be existent for people in human societies´╝îand creative artists are no exception.

Firstly, I won't deny that creative artists are playing a significant role in the field of art innovation and development. They are always the pioneers of art and leading the fashion in their favorite area. They bring us touching stories, amazing photos, popular music or fantastic movies etc, by which make our mental lives rich and varied, also deepen our understanding of nature and human behaviors as well. In terms of their contributions to the society, these creative artists should be encouraged to express their ideas freely in their own ways.

However, creative ideas not always equal to positive ideas and unrestricted behaviors may lead to unexpected results. If some ideas are too ultra or are expressed in an extreme ways, unfortunately, it may negatively impact our society, for instance, too much violence, horror or pornographic descriptions in novels, photos or films. Although adults are able to recognize what is right or wrong at most of the time, but children or young people might be easily misled. So certain government restrictions are definitely necessary on these creative artists' behaviors. Actually, I think these restrictions should be adapted to all artists, rather than to creative artists only, even to any people in the societies.

In conclusion, we should encourage those creative artists to exhibit their perfect works in any fantastic ways on condition that no negative effects resulted to public and our society.
BrookW   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS: the benefits of global cooperation [7]

Hi Ratree,

I think you do have some structure problems in your essay. Since the topic is asking you to discuss both view and give your opinion, I suggest to structure your essay as below:

1. Openning paragraph

2. Discussion of view 1

3. Discussion of view 2

4. Your opinion and evidence.

5. Summary and conclusion.
BrookW   
Mar 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / it is more important to spend money on art and music [6]

Hi Jing,

I made a little revision on below long sentence, for your reference.

According to a recent survey conducted by China Post, after polling thousands of people from all walks of life it has found that a places of historic interest and scenic beauty with more art museums are their the most appealing choice because people they can have a better known about this city.
BrookW   
Mar 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay about happiness definition and it's effects - 'a kind of emotional feeling' [5]

Hello everyone,

Below is my essay on below topic, I would be very appreciate for anyone can help to correct it.

Topic: Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Great Thanks,
Brook

Happiness is an essential indicator to reflect how happy people feel from their daily lives. But how happiness should be defined? What brings the happiness to us? I am going to do some exploration and give my opinion.

Per my understanding, happiness is a kind of emotional feeling obtained by people when their demands are fulfilled or their wills are realized. But due to the demands and wills are totally different for each individual, the happiness invariably has a different meaning, it's hardly to define generally. For instance, many adults think that would be great happiness to live in a big beautiful house and have heir own luxury cars, while for some children, happiness maybe only means to have a lovely pet, and the most happy thing to a football fans is just watching another perfect shot made by his or her favorite team.

However, what are the key factors which affect the happiness of people? The first one would be the GAP between what you want to have and what you could have. Everyone has many desires, but some of them obviously can not be achieved because of the huge GAP between the dream and the reality. Such as most people would like to enjoy the happiness of traveling in their private air craft, but seems only a few of them can have the honor. Another contributing factor is that how much effort devoted to the achievement of the happiness. Almost every successful person would have a story about great happiness coming from great efforts.

All in all, the happiness means to live in your own favorite way. So whatever you are poor or rich, whatever you are young or old, just dedicate your efforts to your dream, therefore you will achieve your happiness.