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Posts by birdman
Joined: Apr 4, 2011
Last Post: Sep 4, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 28  

From: Uzbekistan

Displayed posts: 31
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birdman   
Sep 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / The importance of natural resources (forests, animals and clean water) [16]

Ana Maria, ARness and EF_Kevin.

I would like to answer to your replies in order of their appearance.
First of all, Ana Maria thanks you very much. I have really understood my grammar mistakes. I should review the whole grammar from the beginning. However, I haven't caught the idea that you gave me in your last sentence. Could you please rewrite this sentence "Firstly, I personally think that saving natural resources is believed to be key for the betterment of human life." as you wanted to say. Thanks in advance.

Secondly, I would like to express gratitude to ARness who always gives me good examples and advice. I really like when we debate on various topics. It is a good experience for me. Thank you!

Finally, thanks EV_Kevin. You are the only moderator who always reply to me. I really appreciate it, in spite of the fact, that you are very busy and answer to the people like me who are in need of your advice.

Thank you one more time guys!!!
birdman   
Aug 23, 2011
Writing Feedback / The importance of natural resources (forests, animals and clean water) [16]

ARness I do agree with some of your ideas and they have given me another ones. Still I have got questions related to this topic.

1. How would you write your own introduction if you were given such an essay?

2. Talking about the connection of animals with children... Firstly, I wanted to write something unusual about animals. There were some TV programs telling that animals influence positively on ill children. I think it is a strong statement in essay. I am not boasting man))) Secondly, I think that the major part of students would write the same thing about animals. I mean the thing you mentioned above: the food chain. So taking this into consideration I wrote about animal therapy. Do you agree with me?

3. Maybe I wrote the extraordinary thing about water and cars. But yet if such cars are introduced in our modern world (this might happen in the next 10-15 years) and they might impact positively on environment, will it be true to mention this point in my essay if the things will be as they are?

4. Finally how would you write the conclusion?

Thanks a lot. I really appreciate your help.
birdman   
Aug 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / The importance of natural resources (forests, animals and clean water) [16]

Urvi, and what will u say if the topic of my essay is this: Natural resources like forests, animals or clean water are disappearing. Why they are so important and should be saved? I only changed and into or. Should I also write about forests in this case?
birdman   
Aug 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / The importance of natural resources (forests, animals and clean water) [16]

Hello! Please check my essay and tell your opinion. What band would you put if you were an examiner? Thanks in advance!

Natural resources like forests, animals and clean water are disappearing. Why they are so important and should be saved?

The issue of saving natural resources like forests, animals and clean water has always been a crucial virtue since the time of industrialization. It is believed that this should be the matter of global importance. This will be proven with clear examples in my essay below.

Firstly, I personally think that saving natural resources is believed to be a key for the betterment of human life. It is thought to be that animals can somehow impact positively on children's health. A good example to illustrate this point of view is that today in major part of Western developed countries special medical centres are run where animals are kept and fed in order improve children's health. The latest statistics shows that sick children can be recovered from their illnesses by spending time with animals and fish, especially with dolphins and horses, which definitely underlines the importance of animals.

Secondly, I advocate the view point that clean and fresh water seems to be the foundation of our lives. It is simply impossible to imagine living on the Earth without clean water, which is drunk and used in large proportions in different spheres of our lives. A good example to demonstrate the importance of water is the car industry. Many scientists and car industries are now producing special cars which will run only on water. Hence these ecologically clean cars will also somehow improve our environment teeming with gas and dirty air.

All things considered it can be concluded that saving natural resources should be the matter of global importance. That is why it is highly recommended for people to act as soon as possible since the humanity is not ready for the global changes without forests, animals and clean water.
birdman   
Jul 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / IELTS> 'strict policies' - urbanisation - benefits and drawbacks [16]

EF_Kevin I would like to ask you one question. Well, is it possible to write a good essay, for example, for band score 7.5 with simple words on the IELTS examination? Once I heard that students shouldn't write with simple words in order to achieve a high band... What do you think?
birdman   
Jul 22, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

hahahaha))) I didn't say that the football players mentioned above are from the USA. No, not of course. I enjoy football very much. And believe me I know about it very well (by the way Raul Gonzalez is playing in Schalke 04 but not Real Madrid). I only illustrated an example related to football. I say that David Beckham is like the USA (I did not say that he is from there)...

I DO want to study there. It is a great pleasure for me to live and study there. I am repeating one more time, I am not blaming the USA for the above mentioned things, BUT THE THINGS ARE AS THEY ARE... It is a fact.
birdman   
Jul 22, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

Well, while watching American films we see how they live, what type of clothes they wear and what their life style is in general. In my country Uzbekistan, that is in Central Asia, much more American films are broadcast rather than any other film. When somebody says "the Western developed world", first of all, the United States of America comes to my mind, but not France or Italy for example. Tell me American film that you know... Definitely you will give me a list of names consisting of 100 pages... However, tell me any Chinese film... It will be difficult for you as well as for me to do this. In my opinion, the USA is the first initiator of the globalization. That after that time people have begun to recognize the countries like France or Italy. For example, everybody in the world knows who David Beckham is... He used to be one of the best football players in the world. However you can find some people that hardly know who are for instance, Raul or even Messi are. It is my comparison. The same thing is with countries too. That is the USA on "whom" we try to look like. By the way, no good culture has been lost due to the dominance of the USA. The time will show it definitely.
birdman   
Jul 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

Answering to your first question EF_Kevin I think that the disappearing of the old versions of culture is a bad thing. Only imagine that all your ancestors used to celebrate any type of tradition... With the time passing you live in the world where globalization is appears. You begin to forget about some kind of traditions and try to be in one tandem with the Western world. A breach of a tradition occurs. Hence it becomes a disgrace for you not to celebrate the traditions that your ancestors used to do. That is my view point.

Answering to your last question I should say that it rather a debatable question. "Different colors of paint" seems to be the Western world for me, but not the whole one. We all willing to wear the clothes like them or to do any other thing, in general, to live the life they are living. People in our country Uzbekistan look like American ones. They wear fashionable clothes as I do, but not traditional ones (unfortunately neither do I). The time will show its consequences. We should only wait. A culture might disappear. Am I understood?
birdman   
Jul 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

Nobody here is blaming the USA for bad movies, but the USA produces such films every year or am I mistaken??? (by the way we are not talking about pornographic ones. It is not related to our topic). As Ismail has mentioned above, the whole world is moving towards one single culture, modern culture, this one culture, despite seeing it as universal one,is in fact, western and most precisely AMERICAN culture... It is really so. And it has become the acknowledged fact. You know, I want to ask you one question. Definitely you would not watch "American Pie" with your parents by your side. I would not do such a thing either. It is ashamed for me of doing so. Our parents are against of such films. They do not want us to have the "rubbish" in our minds. So do you agree with me????
birdman   
Jul 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

Well ajit88rai thanks. I have understood your point of view. However, I would like to mention one thing, do you agree that many western films include bad things mentioned above in my essay? Unfair as it may seem but the things are as they are. It is very common for us to watch those films that include bad things... It is not a secret, is not it??? by the way I agree that my last sentence is absolutely wrong. It was a stupid thing for me to write it. I will appreciate if you reply me. Thanks!!!
birdman   
Jul 20, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

PLEASE PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY and TELL YOUR OPINION ABOUT IT. IS IT APPROPRIATE OR NOT FOR THE IELTS EXAMINATION? THANKS BEFOREHAND.

Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. People watch the same films, fashion, brands and TV channels all over the world.
birdman   
Jul 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

Thanks the leaf ninja and bhaweshwebmaste. Thank you very much. Answering to your statement the leaf ninja, I do not want to say that America is guilty of the globalization. To be honest, I have written the truth. Please try to understand me. Every type of film or something else includes very bad things (i have mentioned them above in my essay), do not you agree? I thought if one writes the truth of some kind of problem, it is the best to achieve high score... Maybe I was wrong???
birdman   
Jul 19, 2011
Writing Feedback / GLOBALIZATION: Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. [29]

PLEASE PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY and TELL YOUR OPINION ABOUT IT. IS IT APPROPRIATE OR NOT FOR THE IELTS EXAMINATION? THANKS BEFOREHAND.

Differences between nations are becoming less and less evident. People watch the same films, fashion, brands and TV channels all over the world.

To what extend do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

It has become very common to see and hear the same films and TV channels for the people all over the world. Some people think that it has much more disadvantages rather than advantages. Whether it is really so or not is quite a controversial issue for discussion.

First of all, I personally think that it is everything due to the globalization, which mainly comes from the United States of America. Those are films and TV channels which include mostly the sex and the violence. For instance, a famous American film called "American Pie" is recognized by young people all over the world and is played by young and "hungry" boys who think only about the sex and the girls.

Secondly, I advocate the view point that traditional skills and ways of life might change due to the globalization. A good example to illustrate that opinion is that it was very common for Uzbek people to wear their traditional clothes in the not so distant past, so today they willing to look like American people and try to wear fashionable clothes or even change the way of living.

In conclusion, I would like to state and that is with a big regret, that preventing the world from the globalization with comes from the United States of America seems to be impossible for people. Hence the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. I personally think that globalization includes mostly and mainly the sex and the violence which appear in American films and even on TV channels.
birdman   
Apr 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / "Why are groups or organizations important to people?" - my writing practice [3]

I think that they are extremely important in our daily life. (Put "they" not to repeat "groups and organizations")

The reason is that groups or organizations help me to gain more knowledge(Try to use less "me" in essays, because we write about general things, not our own)

hwo (how) to survive in the forest or wild (environment). wild is adjective. It needs a noun after it.

Second (secondly)

such as communication and leadership skills (-s is related to both of them)

In there (Do noy write in, simply THERE)

Besides, there are many Japanese team members who are younger than me.

From this activity, I have improved both abilities of communication and leadership skills .
birdman   
Apr 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / Which is more important family or friends? [3]

I do not think that it would be true to compare both family and friends. Our parents are those people who teach us to discriminate between white and black, good and bad and other things. They built our foundation which helps us in our further future. Speaking about friends, it should be mentioned that the friendship between our friends never lasts up to our lives. When we lose our friends, we meet new ones. They also impact on us, but I think that a person should put his or her parents first, and then friends.

It is my point of view. Thanks.
birdman   
Apr 5, 2011
Writing Feedback / Do you argee that playing computer game is a waste of time? Children should not play? [3]

Good essay I should say! I think that somebody should control children. Take for example their parents or elderly brothers and sisters. There should be a limit of playing computer games. However, in today's society people present each other computer and other techniques. That means that it is spreading quickly almost daily. Also there are good and intellectual games which helps children to be quicker, careful and cleverer in some cases. In general people should know when and where to draw a line!!!
birdman   
Apr 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / [IELTS] attitude to Space Research [9]

I agree with with the above mentioned things... Speaking about the balance which was mentioned in the essay, I should say that there is a balance.The money spent in order to help people goes to the pocket of the authorities. Have u recently heard about the news of Madonna? She gave about more than 10 million dollars to built a new school or a camp something like this in Africa. It was sooner discovered that 4 million of that money was not used in proper ways. The principal of that school used that money on golf, car and other things. The problem is that those people who are in need do not receive money totally. What do you think? Thanks for reading my answer...
birdman   
Apr 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / A Good Employee Definition Essay [6]

Good essay I should say. Also I would like to say that an employee should be a challenger. He should compete with other employees in order to find a good place in his office. In the second paragraph when you said about conflicts which are caused by being late. It is not the only reason I should say.I think that the main reason is that the boss does not share equally all his or her employee. One should never own his favorite.
birdman   
Apr 4, 2011
Writing Feedback / Should history be taught in academic life of any student? [15]

Hi please check my essay, grammar. And whether it is good or not. I will be glad to receive any complaint you write. Thanks. Let me start.

Some people admit that studying history has a little impact on student's academic life. While others admit that studying such subjects as mathematics and science are more available than history. Whether it is worthy or not studying history today is quite an interesting issue.

I personally think that studying history in some cases is important, yet people should know where to draw a line. I mean that it depends on student's further profession. If one wants to be a historian, it becomes an obligation for him to study history. But according to the today's society and situation, the number of people who want to be a historian is decreasing non-stop. So it would be true to say that more and more people, especially youth, are more likely to study mathematics or IT (information technology).

There is no doubt that our modern world is developing rapidly almost daily. And people should go head by head with modern developments. People do not enjoy studying history as much as they did in not so distant past. Children and students are more likely to spend their time in front of their computers sitting hours and hours. Understanding and using modern technology means that students should be knowledgeable about such subjects like maths and even science. In order to function well in the society student need an understanding of the above mentioned subjects.

In conclusion,I would like to state that learning from the mistakes of history and reading ideas of generation are important to humans' experience but they should not be learned so seriously. It is more important for student's to study Mathematics and IT rather than history, because this is a field which would ensure people their good and successful life.
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