Livestrong1313
Dec 1, 2011
Livestrong1313
Dec 1, 2011
Undergraduate / 'If I were a biomedical engineer...' - Colorado Boulder Prompt #1 [5]
I am applying to CU Boulder and I have one more essay to write. The prompt is:
The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live.
Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community, and what are your hopes for your college experience?
(500 words)
Do you think my essay here responds to the prompt, its one of my UC essays so I was hoping to just reuse it instead of writing a whole new essay. Do you think I could tweak it to apply to their prompt?
Here is my essay:
I live in the relatively small town of Livermore, California; but I come from a large family. Throughout my life I have seen many members of that family struggle with health issues: my cousins who have cystic fibrosis, my grandmother who had stage 3 breast cancer, and my sister who has severe cerebral palsy. Having so many family members who have had health problems, as well as experiencing my own battle with cancer has greatly affected me and my lifelong aspirations. Witnessing my family's health problems firsthand has made me want to do something to help others in similar situations. This is why I want to become a biomedical engineer.
If I were a biomedical engineer I would be in a position to help other people who are in situations similar to the ones that my family has faced. Luckily, my family has overcome the hardships it has faced, but this wouldn't have happened without the help of various medical professionals. I would like to become one of these medical professionals, specifically a biomedical engineer, so that I can improve the field of radiology, study genetics, and make prosthetics. On top of this I would also be able to research new ways to diagnose and combat diseases, specifically childhood cancers. These are just some of the ways that I would be able to help others who have health problems. My experience with cancer and other health issues has made me even more passionate about my goal of becoming a biomedical engineer.
My dream is the direct result of the hardships my family and I have faced. My family has overcome the challenges it has faced with the help of skilled medical technicians. I would like to be one of these medical technicians so that I too could help others overcome their difficulties. I wish to apply my skills in science and math to the field of biomedical engineering so that I can make a difference. I want to give back to society and help other families overcome the health obstacles that stand in their way.
Thanks in advance for any help
I am applying to CU Boulder and I have one more essay to write. The prompt is:
The University of Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live.
Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community, and what are your hopes for your college experience?
(500 words)
Do you think my essay here responds to the prompt, its one of my UC essays so I was hoping to just reuse it instead of writing a whole new essay. Do you think I could tweak it to apply to their prompt?
Here is my essay:
I live in the relatively small town of Livermore, California; but I come from a large family. Throughout my life I have seen many members of that family struggle with health issues: my cousins who have cystic fibrosis, my grandmother who had stage 3 breast cancer, and my sister who has severe cerebral palsy. Having so many family members who have had health problems, as well as experiencing my own battle with cancer has greatly affected me and my lifelong aspirations. Witnessing my family's health problems firsthand has made me want to do something to help others in similar situations. This is why I want to become a biomedical engineer.
If I were a biomedical engineer I would be in a position to help other people who are in situations similar to the ones that my family has faced. Luckily, my family has overcome the hardships it has faced, but this wouldn't have happened without the help of various medical professionals. I would like to become one of these medical professionals, specifically a biomedical engineer, so that I can improve the field of radiology, study genetics, and make prosthetics. On top of this I would also be able to research new ways to diagnose and combat diseases, specifically childhood cancers. These are just some of the ways that I would be able to help others who have health problems. My experience with cancer and other health issues has made me even more passionate about my goal of becoming a biomedical engineer.
My dream is the direct result of the hardships my family and I have faced. My family has overcome the challenges it has faced with the help of skilled medical technicians. I would like to be one of these medical technicians so that I too could help others overcome their difficulties. I wish to apply my skills in science and math to the field of biomedical engineering so that I can make a difference. I want to give back to society and help other families overcome the health obstacles that stand in their way.
Thanks in advance for any help
Livestrong1313
Nov 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'White, blonde, good grades, various extracurriculars' - UC #1 [6]
You may have taken a little bit too much time describing.
Also I'm not sure your choice to use irony is the best way to go about writing this essay. it could work, but I think its a bit risky. Maybe you could just focus on your dad because it seems like you have a lot there you could write about, especially specific singular examples.
Other than that look at my previous notes and you can fix it up. Good luck
You may have taken a little bit too much time describing.
Also I'm not sure your choice to use irony is the best way to go about writing this essay. it could work, but I think its a bit risky. Maybe you could just focus on your dad because it seems like you have a lot there you could write about, especially specific singular examples.
Other than that look at my previous notes and you can fix it up. Good luck
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'White, blonde, good grades, various extracurriculars' - UC #1 [6]
It's pretty good, but there are some mistakes
-I'm not sure if shan't is a word, maybe use won't instead
-instead of saying that "I grew up in the suburbs, and second, that I have the most wonderful dad on the face of the earth."
say sometingt like "My childhood in the suburbs and my wonderful father have made me who I am today"
-Also is the part in parentheses actually part of the essay or is it just for the editors? You may want to remove it or take it out of the parentheses if it is actually apart of your essay because it creates a little confusion
- You include dialogue, which can be worthwhile but you need to be careful if you want to use it effectively.
- You do a very good job of describing your appearance in your essay, but I'm not sure thats necessarily important in realtion to the prompt
- I like the connection between height and your heighten intelligence so you may want to keep in the physical description section, its really a writers choice type of thing.
-You bring up your father's financial problems without any intro and this seems a little random
-You do a great job in your conclusion with the return of the cokkie cutter quote
-Explain a little more about how your father has made you the person you are, specific traits maybe?
-use a specific debate with oyur father instead of just a general one
-You talk about your love of math and science but you discuss how your father taught you about iambic pentameter (an english term if I'm not mistaken) maybe use a different science term or just eliminate the mention of iambic pentamater
Overall it was a great job. Good luck and happy writing
It's pretty good, but there are some mistakes
-I'm not sure if shan't is a word, maybe use won't instead
-instead of saying that "I grew up in the suburbs, and second, that I have the most wonderful dad on the face of the earth."
say sometingt like "My childhood in the suburbs and my wonderful father have made me who I am today"
-Also is the part in parentheses actually part of the essay or is it just for the editors? You may want to remove it or take it out of the parentheses if it is actually apart of your essay because it creates a little confusion
- You include dialogue, which can be worthwhile but you need to be careful if you want to use it effectively.
- You do a very good job of describing your appearance in your essay, but I'm not sure thats necessarily important in realtion to the prompt
- I like the connection between height and your heighten intelligence so you may want to keep in the physical description section, its really a writers choice type of thing.
-You bring up your father's financial problems without any intro and this seems a little random
-You do a great job in your conclusion with the return of the cokkie cutter quote
-Explain a little more about how your father has made you the person you are, specific traits maybe?
-use a specific debate with oyur father instead of just a general one
-You talk about your love of math and science but you discuss how your father taught you about iambic pentameter (an english term if I'm not mistaken) maybe use a different science term or just eliminate the mention of iambic pentamater
Overall it was a great job. Good luck and happy writing
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the power of my home was cut off' need ending lines for UC PROMT 2 [4]
You have written a very nice essay here. May I suggest opening with the fact that you are an international student (or whatever your specific situation is). I found myself guessing halfway through if you were from the U.S. or not and that is a distraction from the reader. Fix that and you will make your paper much better very quickly. There are other things you can do though:
-when you list languages put English last because it stresses that you aren't a native English speaker
-when you use the abbreviation UC watch your grammar around it. You say you want to graduate from one of the UC, but it should be UC's in this case
-Make sure you answer the prompt, you have done this well but you need to connect your 2 paragraphs. Your first talks about the community and your second doesn't mention it as much.
-Finally, expplain how you felt when your electricity went out. If you go into more detail your essay will be better
Good job overall and keep up the good work
P.S. I think you wrote down the wrong prompt number because this sounds like it was written for the UC prompt #1
You have written a very nice essay here. May I suggest opening with the fact that you are an international student (or whatever your specific situation is). I found myself guessing halfway through if you were from the U.S. or not and that is a distraction from the reader. Fix that and you will make your paper much better very quickly. There are other things you can do though:
-when you list languages put English last because it stresses that you aren't a native English speaker
-when you use the abbreviation UC watch your grammar around it. You say you want to graduate from one of the UC, but it should be UC's in this case
-Make sure you answer the prompt, you have done this well but you need to connect your 2 paragraphs. Your first talks about the community and your second doesn't mention it as much.
-Finally, expplain how you felt when your electricity went out. If you go into more detail your essay will be better
Good job overall and keep up the good work
P.S. I think you wrote down the wrong prompt number because this sounds like it was written for the UC prompt #1
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'its destiny is change' - UC Personal #2 [13]
Ya I am working on that first prompt too, good luck haha
Ya I am working on that first prompt too, good luck haha
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'its destiny is change' - UC Personal #2 [13]
Your definetly right about that. I would love to see the edited version once its finished for a final check (if you'd like).
Your definetly right about that. I would love to see the edited version once its finished for a final check (if you'd like).
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'its destiny is change' - UC Personal #2 [13]
Good job first off. You have a well written piece here. I agree with BikeBro though that it could address the prompt a little better. You did a great job with the opening and using a specific situation. Your language was very artistic.
A few other things though:
-your wording in your second paragraph is a little awkward. Maybe rearrange it to follow grammar rules a little better (unless your were going for that type of sentence). Insert "it is" before 'the ebb and flow' for a better flow.
-Also you use the personification of the notebook very nicely, but the sentence seems to be a run on sentence and it is awkwardly phrased. Maybe shorten it or separate it out
-In that same sentence discussed above you list a variety of writing moods "cynical, gloomy" etc. Maybe discuss the other moods than just cynical in your essay.
-"Then it seems as if I discover the meaning of life, and everything gloriously spreads itself in front of me, and just when I believed myself happy, reality claws at the door again and sends me spiraling back down into cynicism" While this sentence is beautifully written it seems a tad depressing. Not sure how you could lighten in up exactly, but you could discuss one of your happier "writing" moods after this one to lighten up the entire essay.
-Add a little more comentarry on how your journals changed you and impacted your life and you will have answered the prompt more directly.
-Your conclusion is great, but it doesn't address the prompt very well, if this were a creative writing assignment then it would be perfect, but you might want to reconsider it because of the prompt. You could keep it in the essay, but maybe just move it to another spot.
Overall good job and good luck.
P.S. Thanks for your comment on my essay :)
Good job first off. You have a well written piece here. I agree with BikeBro though that it could address the prompt a little better. You did a great job with the opening and using a specific situation. Your language was very artistic.
A few other things though:
-your wording in your second paragraph is a little awkward. Maybe rearrange it to follow grammar rules a little better (unless your were going for that type of sentence). Insert "it is" before 'the ebb and flow' for a better flow.
-Also you use the personification of the notebook very nicely, but the sentence seems to be a run on sentence and it is awkwardly phrased. Maybe shorten it or separate it out
-In that same sentence discussed above you list a variety of writing moods "cynical, gloomy" etc. Maybe discuss the other moods than just cynical in your essay.
-"Then it seems as if I discover the meaning of life, and everything gloriously spreads itself in front of me, and just when I believed myself happy, reality claws at the door again and sends me spiraling back down into cynicism" While this sentence is beautifully written it seems a tad depressing. Not sure how you could lighten in up exactly, but you could discuss one of your happier "writing" moods after this one to lighten up the entire essay.
-Add a little more comentarry on how your journals changed you and impacted your life and you will have answered the prompt more directly.
-Your conclusion is great, but it doesn't address the prompt very well, if this were a creative writing assignment then it would be perfect, but you might want to reconsider it because of the prompt. You could keep it in the essay, but maybe just move it to another spot.
Overall good job and good luck.
P.S. Thanks for your comment on my essay :)
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a cancer survivor.' - UC Prompt #2 [8]
Thanks for the advice and congrats. It means a lot to me.
Thanks for the advice and congrats. It means a lot to me.
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / UC personal essay #2, overcoming shyness [4]
You have a strong essay, but it could be better in some areas.
For example when you end your first paragraph with and not enjoying high schoool it sounds a bit awkward. You could probably create a new sentence with that thought instead and it would add to your essay and create a better transition into the next paragraph. If you create a better transition then your essay will flow better and it will make your essay stronger.
Your second paragraph is good, but it could be a little better. You could focus on the experience you had and then you could make a separate paragraph that goes into greater depth about how it affected you. You do this well in your final few sentences, but if you add more then your essay will be much stronger. For exapmle, you could say something like my experience at the campout changed me for the better because...
Also I enjoyed your concluding sentence. It is stated very nicely, but you might want to change the wording a bit.
"Now that I understand what I am capable of accomplishing, so many doors have opened, and nothing will hold me back from reaching my goals."
instead you could say:
I now understand that I can accomplissh anything and because of this so many doors have opened. My experience with the Venture Crew has taught me that being shy isn't the right way to live because it prevents me from reaching my dreams.
Overall it was nice, just needs a little tweaking. Good luck
P.S. Thanks for your comment on my essay :)
You have a strong essay, but it could be better in some areas.
For example when you end your first paragraph with and not enjoying high schoool it sounds a bit awkward. You could probably create a new sentence with that thought instead and it would add to your essay and create a better transition into the next paragraph. If you create a better transition then your essay will flow better and it will make your essay stronger.
Your second paragraph is good, but it could be a little better. You could focus on the experience you had and then you could make a separate paragraph that goes into greater depth about how it affected you. You do this well in your final few sentences, but if you add more then your essay will be much stronger. For exapmle, you could say something like my experience at the campout changed me for the better because...
Also I enjoyed your concluding sentence. It is stated very nicely, but you might want to change the wording a bit.
"Now that I understand what I am capable of accomplishing, so many doors have opened, and nothing will hold me back from reaching my goals."
instead you could say:
I now understand that I can accomplissh anything and because of this so many doors have opened. My experience with the Venture Crew has taught me that being shy isn't the right way to live because it prevents me from reaching my dreams.
Overall it was nice, just needs a little tweaking. Good luck
P.S. Thanks for your comment on my essay :)
Livestrong1313
Nov 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a cancer survivor.' - UC Prompt #2 [8]
bump. Any help would be greatly appreciated
bump. Any help would be greatly appreciated
Livestrong1313
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'If I were a biomedical engineer...' - Colorado Boulder Prompt #1 [5]
Here is a draft of my fresmen UC essay. Please critique it as much as you can.
The Prompt
Describe the world you come from ï for example, your family, community or school ï and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations
I come from a large family that has had more than its fair share of hardships to overcome. In 1997 my younger sister was born with severe cerebral palsy because she didn't get enough oxygen when she was born. Then in 2006 I was diagnosed with a rare type of children's cancer called Rhabdomyosarcoma. About three years later my family was struck by cancer again when my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I also have another grandma who just had knee surgery and two cousins that were born with cystic fibrosis. Having so many family members who have had health problems, as well as experiencing my own issues has greatly affected me and my aspirations. Seeing my family members struggle firsthand has made me want to do something about it. This is why I want to become a biomedical engineer.
If I were a biomedical engineer I would be in a position to help other people who are in situations similar to the ones that my family has faced. Luckily, my family has overcome the hardships it has faced, but this wouldn't have happened without the help of various medical professionals. I would like to become one of these medical professionals, specifically a biomedical engineer, so that I can improve the field of radiology, study genetics, and make prosthetics. On top of this I would also be able to research new ways to diagnose and combat diseases, like cancer. These are just some of the ways that I would be able to help others who have had health problems, like the ones my family has had. My experience with cancer and other health issues has made me even more passionate about becoming a biomedical engineer.
My dream of becoming a biomedical engineer is the direct result of the hardships my family has faced. My family has overcome the challenges we have faced with the help of skilled medical technicians. I would like to be one of these medical technicians so that I too could help others overcome their difficulties. I want to apply my skills in science and math to the field of biomedical engineering so that I can help other people. I want to give back to society and help other families overcome their challenges so that they can spend more time together. I feel the way I can give back to society the best is by becoming a biomedical engineer.
Thanks in advance for you help
Here is a draft of my fresmen UC essay. Please critique it as much as you can.
The Prompt
Describe the world you come from ï for example, your family, community or school ï and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations
I come from a large family that has had more than its fair share of hardships to overcome. In 1997 my younger sister was born with severe cerebral palsy because she didn't get enough oxygen when she was born. Then in 2006 I was diagnosed with a rare type of children's cancer called Rhabdomyosarcoma. About three years later my family was struck by cancer again when my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I also have another grandma who just had knee surgery and two cousins that were born with cystic fibrosis. Having so many family members who have had health problems, as well as experiencing my own issues has greatly affected me and my aspirations. Seeing my family members struggle firsthand has made me want to do something about it. This is why I want to become a biomedical engineer.
If I were a biomedical engineer I would be in a position to help other people who are in situations similar to the ones that my family has faced. Luckily, my family has overcome the hardships it has faced, but this wouldn't have happened without the help of various medical professionals. I would like to become one of these medical professionals, specifically a biomedical engineer, so that I can improve the field of radiology, study genetics, and make prosthetics. On top of this I would also be able to research new ways to diagnose and combat diseases, like cancer. These are just some of the ways that I would be able to help others who have had health problems, like the ones my family has had. My experience with cancer and other health issues has made me even more passionate about becoming a biomedical engineer.
My dream of becoming a biomedical engineer is the direct result of the hardships my family has faced. My family has overcome the challenges we have faced with the help of skilled medical technicians. I would like to be one of these medical technicians so that I too could help others overcome their difficulties. I want to apply my skills in science and math to the field of biomedical engineering so that I can help other people. I want to give back to society and help other families overcome their challenges so that they can spend more time together. I feel the way I can give back to society the best is by becoming a biomedical engineer.
Thanks in advance for you help
Livestrong1313
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'helping people has always been my passion' - UC [8]
Good job, but there are some mistakes.
First, maybe spell out vocabulary instead of using vocab.
Your first sentence is nice, but I think the rest of your essay doesn't match it. After a certain point you just list accomplishments and lose focus of what you are trying to say. Do less listing and more explaining. Like the person before me has said, focus on a few and go in depth on their importance and effects on you.
Good luck
Good job, but there are some mistakes.
First, maybe spell out vocabulary instead of using vocab.
Your first sentence is nice, but I think the rest of your essay doesn't match it. After a certain point you just list accomplishments and lose focus of what you are trying to say. Do less listing and more explaining. Like the person before me has said, focus on a few and go in depth on their importance and effects on you.
Good luck
Livestrong1313
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / UC PROMPT 2 -- Performing "My Way" [3]
I am in a similar situation as you. I am writing my UC essays as well. I really enjoyed your essay. You responded to the prompt nicely, but I think you could add a little more emphasis on how the experience affected you. You have two paragraphs of background info and only one short one about how you were impacted by that event. If you beef up that part it would go a long way. You don't necessarily need to shorten the other paragraphs (unless the word limit restricts you), but the final paragraph could use a little more elaboration. For example you could discuss how it affects your career goals and other aspirations.
Also I thought the song quote at the end was a nice touch, but you might want to put it in quotation marks.
Overall good job and good luck.
I am in a similar situation as you. I am writing my UC essays as well. I really enjoyed your essay. You responded to the prompt nicely, but I think you could add a little more emphasis on how the experience affected you. You have two paragraphs of background info and only one short one about how you were impacted by that event. If you beef up that part it would go a long way. You don't necessarily need to shorten the other paragraphs (unless the word limit restricts you), but the final paragraph could use a little more elaboration. For example you could discuss how it affects your career goals and other aspirations.
Also I thought the song quote at the end was a nice touch, but you might want to put it in quotation marks.
Overall good job and good luck.
Livestrong1313
Nov 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I am a cancer survivor.' - UC Prompt #2 [8]
This is a very rough draft of my 2nd UC essay. The prompt is:
Tell about a personal quality, accomplishment, or experience that is important to you. What about this accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I am a cancer survivor.
I was a sixth grader, it was the Thursday before spring break in 2006, and I was sitting in Dr. Idowu's office with my mother. We were at Children's Hospital in Oakland and my mom and I were waiting for the doctor to give us the results of the CT scan that had been done. I was sitting on an exam table when Dr. Idowu came in and told my mother and I that the mass on my abdomen could be malignant and cancerous. Over the next few days more tests were done and I was officially diagnosed with Stage Three Rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare type of children's cancer. My cancer hadn't spread yet, but it had centralized in a softball sized tumor that was pressing on my liver. The doctor that had delivered this news to me then explained to my parents and I that the sarcoma could not be immediately removed because of its size. This is when I was told that with chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation I had a chance of being "cured." I looked out the window in my room, at my parents, and then at the doctor; and I told him that I was prepared to do anything to be "cured".
On April 20th I had my first chemotherapy treatment; it consisted of three drugs: Actinomycin, Cytoxan, and Vincristine. The next few weeks passed slowly and after eleven weeks of chemotherapy I was told that my tumor had shrunk enough to be removed. On the 18th of July I had my tumor removed by Dr. Idowu, the same doctor that I had met twelve weeks earlier. After my surgery I had four weeks of radiation, along with my final thirty weeks of chemotherapy. On February 8th, 2007 I received my last chemotherapy treatment. A few months later I had a group of scans that all showed positive results and just like that, a year after all of it began, I was "cured."
Cancer is the toughest challenge I have ever faced, but because of it, I am a stronger person. Going through forty-two chemotherapy treatments, multiple surgeries, and a month of radiation proved to me that I could do anything. For example, during my treatment I was faced with the choice of either dropping out of school for a year or continuing my education with a home teacher. I chose the latter and even though I had medical issues to deal with, I earned a 4.0 GPA and was on the Principle's Honor Roll. It was my determination and resiliency that helped me acomplish this.
I have continued to apply the skills I learned during treatment to everyday life, specifically at my high school. My determined attitude has helped me achieve Principle's Honor Roll each year since I was "cured." Had I not gone through what I did I am not sure I would have been able to accomplish everything that I have. Cancer and that year of hell showed me that I could do anything I set my mind to. My battle with cancer made me the person I am today, and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.
This is a very rough draft of my 2nd UC essay. The prompt is:
Tell about a personal quality, accomplishment, or experience that is important to you. What about this accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I am a cancer survivor.
I was a sixth grader, it was the Thursday before spring break in 2006, and I was sitting in Dr. Idowu's office with my mother. We were at Children's Hospital in Oakland and my mom and I were waiting for the doctor to give us the results of the CT scan that had been done. I was sitting on an exam table when Dr. Idowu came in and told my mother and I that the mass on my abdomen could be malignant and cancerous. Over the next few days more tests were done and I was officially diagnosed with Stage Three Rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare type of children's cancer. My cancer hadn't spread yet, but it had centralized in a softball sized tumor that was pressing on my liver. The doctor that had delivered this news to me then explained to my parents and I that the sarcoma could not be immediately removed because of its size. This is when I was told that with chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation I had a chance of being "cured." I looked out the window in my room, at my parents, and then at the doctor; and I told him that I was prepared to do anything to be "cured".
On April 20th I had my first chemotherapy treatment; it consisted of three drugs: Actinomycin, Cytoxan, and Vincristine. The next few weeks passed slowly and after eleven weeks of chemotherapy I was told that my tumor had shrunk enough to be removed. On the 18th of July I had my tumor removed by Dr. Idowu, the same doctor that I had met twelve weeks earlier. After my surgery I had four weeks of radiation, along with my final thirty weeks of chemotherapy. On February 8th, 2007 I received my last chemotherapy treatment. A few months later I had a group of scans that all showed positive results and just like that, a year after all of it began, I was "cured."
Cancer is the toughest challenge I have ever faced, but because of it, I am a stronger person. Going through forty-two chemotherapy treatments, multiple surgeries, and a month of radiation proved to me that I could do anything. For example, during my treatment I was faced with the choice of either dropping out of school for a year or continuing my education with a home teacher. I chose the latter and even though I had medical issues to deal with, I earned a 4.0 GPA and was on the Principle's Honor Roll. It was my determination and resiliency that helped me acomplish this.
I have continued to apply the skills I learned during treatment to everyday life, specifically at my high school. My determined attitude has helped me achieve Principle's Honor Roll each year since I was "cured." Had I not gone through what I did I am not sure I would have been able to accomplish everything that I have. Cancer and that year of hell showed me that I could do anything I set my mind to. My battle with cancer made me the person I am today, and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.
