Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Dilara1010
Joined: Dec 20, 2011
Last Post: Jan 5, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 17  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 21
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Dilara1010   
Jan 5, 2012
Undergraduate / 'The perfectionist' - the unique qualities that attract you to the specific College [2]

Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

[h2]A Childhood Dream[/h2b]

My friends and family have always known me as the "perfectionist." To some extent this may seem like a bad trait, but I believe it makes me who I am. From a young age, I have learned that in order to obtain what you desire you must work very hard. This mind set has stuck in my mind since the age of twelve, this was around the age I decided I wanted to become a doctor. This goal affected my life greatly; I began taking school very seriously which was hard at this age due to various distractions. This "perfectionist" idea has led me to always try my hardest in the tasks that I do and try to be at the top. Most importantly from that young age I knew that I wanted to make my parents proud. This characteristic has made me the person I am today, a student that from the age of twelve will try their hardest in order to get into Medical School.

Growing up in Michigan, my father talked about the University of Michigan a lot. He would always tell me great things about it, like the ranking of the school and how I would have to try very hard in order to get in. The school began to grow on me and I loved the idea of one day attending it and from watching football games on television to getaways with my friend to the beautiful campus I knew that this was the school I wanted to attend. From the first time I set foot on that beautiful campus, it was set in my mind; I wanted to be a wolverine.

This campus and the footballs were what attracted me at a young age, but now there are far greater reasons that I want to attend this university. I know that the College of Literature, Science and Arts at the University of Michigan will put my characteristic to the challenge. It will allow me to view all areas of my interest, such as Research and joining various clubs, in order to further my knowledge. With the curriculum integrating science, literature, and arts it will allow me to become a well rounded student. Although I may struggle in some courses and succeed in others, those that I struggle in will simply want me to try harder because I am up for the challenge. From studying basic Biology and Chemistry courses to studying the history of Art the college will allow me to grow in all directions. The diversity of courses is not the only aspect that college it is the diversity within the college. A diverse school is a remarkable environment to be a part of. It will allow me to be around different ideas in which those people will bestow upon me. All of these characteristics of this prestigious university will challenge my one characteristic. I know that I will succeed at the University Of Michigan. I know that this college will be another stepping stone to making my child hood dream come true.
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / Common App - Extracurricular - School Board [8]

Just a side note, if thats for the common app isn't it suppoesd to be only 1000 characters? If thats so maybe you should do that and then put it on here for us to edit it would be easier for us and you :)
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'biggest reward in the class was dissection' - favorite class and why [7]

The next day, my sister told me that she was feeling better, and I felt proud for applying what I learned to help her.
Even though, Anatomy and Physiology involves a copious amount of memorization and note taking, it is never boring. Our teacher, Ms. Belfay, made the class intriguing by linking her stories to the content she was teaching. Once, when we were studying about bones, she told us that it took her tibia more than three years to grow back into its regular shape after she fractured it. As I was listening to her fascinating story, I effortlessly learned that bone regeneration is a long process.

My biggest reward in the class was dissection. During such occasions, I would always volunteer to hold the scalpel for my group. This day, as the cow's eye was sitting still on the plate, I was ready. After I trimmed off the its fats, I raised the scapular and poked it into the cornea. But it did not yield easily and I poked harder. In a flash, the black intraocular fluid gushed out of the wound and splashed onto my face. I wiped off the fluid on my sleeve and resumed my search for the lens.

I don't understand that little story in the beginning Ireally do not think it is necessary. Just talk about the class and you are really good with describing the dissection I think thats enough. Try to think of other quotation or take out those.
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / (Challenge / Math / Business school / MBA program) - Columbia short [2]

My favorite academic class isthat has been Math, because I love working with numbers. Math always gives youone a definite answer most of the time . Math deals with a lot of thinking and different types of ways to solve problems. I like Math, because there is more than one way to solve a problem. Math is life. Math controls the way you think and how you react to situations. If you mess up on a problem, you take your pencil, erase the answerit , and write the correct answer. I like math,Math is visual, like in geometry in which one can see how the answer becomes to be with out wondering where it came from. Math is all about logic and with out math I would be lost.
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'my hiking trip at Philmont' - Common App Extracurricular [5]

My 40-pound pack accentuated my staggering staggering what? as strong gusts of wind hit me from all directions. Rocks and pebbles continuously slipped underneath my hiking boots as I ascended Mt. Baldy. Worst of all, the gash on my right kneecap had not fully healed. My face contorted with pain with every step. My Boy Scout crew had ascended approximately 941 feet with 1500 feet left to go. I was on the threshold of withdrawing from the hike but I pressed on, eventually reaching the peak.

Because I was not physically robust and had suffered an injury recently, my hiking trip at Philmont (High Adventure Base for Boy Scouts) was at a height of difficulty unseen to me in both the mental and physical aspect. Yet, I persevered through the adversity and now I believe I am prepared for future challenges to come, regardless in which aspect they come from.

That last sentence was very random it was like boom conclusion! if that makes sense there was a huge jump. Try to put a sentnece before that the ready the reader into the conclusion :) hope I helped! Other wise really good descriptions!
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The Magic in Psychology' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality [7]

Suddenly it started to make sense. The reason why that magician was able to make that second coin appear in his left hand was because he took advantage of human psychology. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much many magic tricks relied on the blind spots of the human brain. As I learned more, I found that the same yearning I had for learning magic tricks also existed in psychology. What Mrs. Hewitt had said at the end of the clip made me feel like I had just been shown the secret behind a magic trick. From that moment, I knew that I wanted to study the field of psychology.
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'The boy without a name' - William and Mary supplement essay [8]

I really liked your essay! its just that the title of your wonderland is a bit confused but other than that I liked it also. Also you have very good descriptive ways of telling your story. Perhaps take out the thing in the paranthesis that kind of through me off but thats up to you :)
Dilara1010   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / A Miracle Baby - Common App Essay [6]

Try to discuss more of the impact that it had on you perhaps how it changed your view of life, in greater ways. NOt just your way of thinking but more than that.
Dilara1010   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'I have always wanted to be a doctor' - extracurricular activities or work experience [8]

From the age of 10, I have always wanted to be a doctor. High school was the first time that I was able to fully express my passion for this career. Junior year I joined the HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America) club of my school that would help me to further my knowledge of this future. The students of this club got the opportunity to volunteer through out the year at various places such as, retirement homes, food banks, and even competed in a yearly competition. One of the most wanted volunteer opportunities was at the Ronald McDonald House. The Ronald McDonald house is a home for families who have children in the local hospital. The home provides a safe and affordable means of stay for those that can not afford a long stay at a hotel.

Each year people longed to volunteer at the house, and due to the amount of people wanting to attend. There was a drawing each year and five lucky students were chosen to volunteer. Of those five, I was one of them last year. The experience was a life changing and amazing. Our job for that day was to prepare dinner for the families staying there. On the menu was meatballs, gravy, mashed potatoes, corn, and of course desert, cheesecake. We got there two hours before dinner which was served at the same time every day. We quickly began cooking because we had a lot to get done.

When the food was finally done people from the homes began coming downstairs. It was amazing how thankful they were for a simply that had only taken us two short hours to prepare. There were people of all ages and each one had a story to tell. There was the mother that had a new born that was getting heart surgery performed on him that day, a little girl that was there for her third surgery, all of the stories were so touching. It was amazing to think that this house ran on volunteering and charity work. I was so thankful for being able to volunteer that day. I went home feeling accomplished that day, I felt incredible knowing that I had done something that was truly essential to 20 families. If given the opportunity I would go back there any day to volunteer again.
Dilara1010   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a BMW, dream school: U of M Ann Arbor' - Short Response about College [3]

Describe the unique qualities that attract you to the specific undergraduate College or School to which you are applying at the University of Michigan. How would that curriculum support your interests? (500 words maximum)

Everyone has that dream car, that dream school, and that dream job that they want. My dream car: a BMW, dream school: U of M Ann Arbor, and dream job, a pediatric dermatologist. These have been in my dreams from as long as I can remember; I am determined to make them reality. I was only in the fifth grade when I realized that I wanted to be a physician. I knew that this dream was not one that I would soon forget, such as I had done with wanting to fly or becoming an astronaut. However, becoming a doctor is not the easiest task in the world, a great university is essential. From watching foot ball games on television to hearing about it through my family and friends, I knew that the University of Michigan was the one I wanted to attend. I knew that if I attended this school not only would I make myself proud I would make the people around me proud as well. I wanted to be a wolverine; it was set in my mind.

Senior year came and I applied to Ann Arbor, and did not get accepted. However, this has not stopped me continuing to try my hardest in order to fulfill my dreams. In fact, it has helped me to try harder in the things that I do. I am currently attending the University of Michigan - Dearborn, and am trying my hardest in order to show that I am worth it. Ann Arbor has always been only a 30 minute car drive away and has always been my getaway with my friends and I. I love the environment and the people of the city. On visits with my family I have also visited the campus and to me it is the place I want to be.

To accomplish my dreams I know that the College of Literature, Science, and Arts at the University of Michigan, will allow this. Of course this curriculum will support me in that it will provide me with the education I need to be able to get me where I want to go. With this curriculum I believe that I will become a well rounded student in all subject areas, with over 3000 courses I trust that I will be able to be confident with the courses I choose. With the diversity of course options I will be able to combine my options and pursue in all areas that I am interested in. Not only does this college have more than enough courses it provides students with the opportunity to expand on their learning and reach out, such as research and internships. This college will give me the opportunities that I need in order to fulfill my dream and continue on to medical school. It will support and enable me to make that childhood dream come true.

I am having a lot of trouble with defining the unique qualities that attract me to the school. I feel as though I do not describe this enough.
Dilara1010   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / Unique, fun, community--Why Northwestern? [6]

As I was reading Northwestern, the book I received in the mail, I remembered an old LG TV advertisement titled,Live Borderless underline this
In it, a bird, living on the Isle of Flightless Birds, looks up to the skies, spots an airplane, then looks down at its flapping wings, and to the surprise of the other birds, jumps off a cliff and proceeds to fly.

I like this second sentence but I find it a little choppy and maybe you could somehow make it into two sentences.
Dilara1010   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / Power is a quality that my mind has an affinity for; UC - An Ending to Infinity [2]

Power is a quality that my mind has an affinity for. I grammatically it is not good to end with that word, try to change it up a bit.

I can never be satisfied with the current amount of power because my eyes lust for more, but what does power have to do with my personal quality?
Dilara1010   
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / The Turkish Community ("Deeee - lah - rah") - Common Application [5]

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)

"Deeee - lah - rah," I said as I was trying to help the substitute teacher pronounce my name. A process I have to go through almost every time I meet someone new. As a young child I hated this and always thought to myself, "Why can't my name be easy to pronounce?" I am now proud of my name and it represents who I am and the community I belong to, the Turkish community. However, this wasn't always the case for me. I've been through it all, laughed at, made fun of, and picked at for being the girl with the weird name. "Deelorah" or "Dilaria" they would say simply to upset me. I tried not to let it bother me. At home was the only time I was able to fully embrace my roots. I always speak Turkish with my family, and to me this is essential to understand your community. Growing up my father has always taught my family that we must stand up for ourselves and represent the country that we belong to. At the age of nineteen I now understand the importance of this point. Although being teased through my childhood it was hard for me to comprehend why I would want this. I wanted to be American I wanted people to look at me and say, "That girl is an America." I know understand that I am an American, but I will never stop representing the country I am from. After all these years I am proud to say that, I love my name, and I am proud to help anyone pronounce it.
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