Undergraduate / 'Astronaut. Award-winning actress. Professional dancer. Successful politician' Loyola [4]

I think you should elaborate more on your answers to the question. You just briefly mentioned them in the last paragraph, so explain your answers more! I think it's pretty well organized and you're off to a good start, but the correlation between your personal stories and what it has to do with the essay prompt is a bit unclear.

Undergraduate / "most beautiful college campuses" - Rhodes supplemental essay [2]

I value the quality of the education I receive, I am known among my friends for my complete honesty , and I've probably spent as much time sleeping as volunteering in the past four years.

Rhodes seems an extension of the life I'm already living, and I'd love to live the life I love at Rhodes.Try saying this out loud, it sounds like a poem with all the alliteration haha

This is good. To the point, yet still shows off your personality.

Undergraduate / 'favorite pair of shoes' - Connecticut College Supplement- Community [7]

Kind of like the sample essay about the girl talking about her favorite pair of shoes. Just google "shoes college essay" and you'll find it.

Undergraduate / Between Living and Dreaming? Who knows? UChicago Essay! [9]

Wait I totally got that your "answer" is the act of creating, so I don't think you need to worry about that. I would watch the beginning, or the dream, because some details are unnecessary and just make your essay longer than it needs to be. Also, this is very minor, but would you really spend all that time explaining/talking when you're under that much stress (I mean the plane is about to crash)? It doesn't seem very realistic that you would be "excited" during this sort of situation haha.. But other than that, the main portion of your essay is great. (Do you think there is a better word to replace the "act of creating"? I think that would help as well.)

Undergraduate / 'Living and dreaming' - University of Chicago Long Essay [12]

I like this- logical and it sounds like you're very enthusiastic about this topic! The only thing I would be careful about is the wordiness. Some sentences and words really aren't necessary and just make your essay longer than it needs to be.

Undergraduate / UChicago "Guess The Third Thing Essay" [3]

I really like this- simple, personal, and concise. I would elaborate more about the "sharing", and how it's the third thing, because I feel like you only explained this in the last paragraph? And watch the tense.

Undergraduate / 'favorite pair of shoes' - Connecticut College Supplement- Community [7]

mmm is it just me, or does the whole "favorite shoes" essay sound familiar...?

Undergraduate / 'My two years of hope' - Uchicago/Yale/Harvard Supp Essay [8]

So, what exactly did you find?

Undergraduate / 'lying on the bed and reading a book' - MIT pleasure essay [6]

maybe get rid of the "the"s in the third sentence?

Regarding the essay(recent one), it's interesting, but I don't see any evidence that supports your claims. You've probably heard this too many times, but.. show rather than tell.

(By the way, is your school day really 12 hours? harsh...)

Undergraduate / Stanford Roommate ('tidy person') and What matters ('I was chubby') [5]

Much better on both!

I have learned to filter criticism and to heed the advice embedded in them.

I actually think that sentence is perfectly fine.

Undergraduate / Stanford Roommate ('tidy person') and What matters ('I was chubby') [5]

I think the roommate letter has good ideas that reveal quite a lot about your personality/character, but gets disorganized after the tennis bit.

Tonight, how about we go for a meal together? I believe that people g ...? .

Your what matters essay is very sincere, but can you really be grateful for all of the critics and what they had to say? I mean yes, you do benefit from criticism, but there's a difference between constructive criticism and bullying. Because one thing I got from "I welcome criticism with open arms" is that you don't have an opinion of your own, or you let people decide who you are. Does that make sense?

Hope this helps!

Undergraduate / 'travel to anywhere I want' - Extracurricular Essay [25]

Not to burst your bubble, but does reading count as an extracurricular activity? Because I think the prompt is asking you to describe one of the activities that are listed under that section on the commonapp. But other than that, it's great and says a lot in such a small space.