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Posts by giorgio186
Joined: Mar 25, 2012
Last Post: Jun 9, 2012
Threads: 9
Posts: 54  

From: Czech Republic

Displayed posts: 63 / page 2 of 2
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giorgio186   
Apr 11, 2012
Writing Feedback / An Essay About Maintaining Peace [4]

Thanks to both of you. I've rewritten the beginning. I' definitely going to do some more thorough research. Unfortunately, I don't have any English teacher at disposal, which is the reason why I post my essays here. As for the quote, it's a part of the task, so I really cannot change it, however, to make you at least a little happy I'm not posting the quote, again.

Thank you. If you had time to correct my grammar, or add another comments, I would appreciate it.


The world's political leaders as well as analysts consider attacking Iran to be an option of maintaining safety. They are afraid of its nuclear programme, probably containing a bomb development, and they want to cease it violently. I'm convinced that violence never leads to a painless and successful solution for it has failed many times before. You may remember wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, which should have been quick, helpful interventions, but turned out terribly; helping ended as bloodshed. With the information I have, nothing can persuade me out of conviction that these military actions are morally unjustifiable. Although some analysts assess the potential threat great enough to use power, economic reasons prevail in their opinions and arguments; dangerousness seems to be merely pretext for seizing control over Iran's oil supplies. I'm not sure whether possible financial benefits are sufficient compensations for neglecting moral rules; however some people don't really care about ethics.

Furthermore, war with Iran would show immensely expensive, as the previous ones mentioned, which would mean a heavy burden for the aggressors. Finally, the expenses would overwhelm the assets; like in Iraq and Afghanistan, again. In addition, the world's ruling powers should learn to respect weaker countries' freedom. Having a nuclear bomb doesn't necessarily imply using it - Russia, USA, China, France, United Kingdom, and Israel - all of these states own nuclear heads, and even though they are free of any assaults at all. Why are they allowed whereas the others, e. g. Iran, are not? Inequality causes anger; anger causes aggressiveness. Maybe, if developed countries gave up their nuclear weapons first, Iran and others would follow their example. In fact, Iran follows their example, even now. They are armed; Iran arms, too. Could this model work for disarmament? Most likely, we shall never know.
giorgio186   
Apr 10, 2012
Writing Feedback / An Essay About Maintaining Peace [4]

Hello. Here is my new essay. I will be happy if anyone corrects it and adds any comments. See my other essays as well.

Peace

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding
Albert Einstein


The USA considers attacking Iran in order to prevent it from gaining a nuclear bomb. Very similar scenario could be seen a few years earlier when George Bush executed the attack against Iraq which developed into a long-lasting bloodshed. I hope that this mistake will not repeat. Whatever point of view you prefer - moral, economic or political - none of them seems to have any convincing argument for being so. Nevertheless, if a lack of decency connected with economic reasons, they would form a solid pretext for aggressive politicians. So as to acquire Iran's oil, world rulers would unite and strike jointly. Massive counter-attack would be performed by Iran, possibly with some help of other anti-American countries. Vicious circle could continue in its destructive work. The USA governors are prone to solve world problems in a military way even if it's not inevitable. They should learn to respect other countries' freedom apart from their own, or at least rule the world with the same measure for everyone. Does China have nuclear bombs? Does USA assail it? No, it wouldn't be very tactical - China is stronger both in its economy and army. Did Eastern Europe suffer under the Soviet ruling? Indeed. Did America help? No. I really detest this opportunistic blather about protecting the world from lethal threat. After all, it's all about the money.

In contrast, some cases demand an application of force to sustain lawful acting. I'm talking about the police. However some may raise an objection that the police occupy themselves merely with fining disobedient drivers, no one can genuinely disbelieve in its safety assets. In ideal state, there would be no need of police, but provided that the most of us live in non-ideal country, somebody must maintain order, even though it was by force. Hopefully, one day, the necessity of policemen standing at every corner will disappear as the people become honest and fair-minded and then the idea of paradise in the Earth would be not far from fulfilled.

To summarise my thoughts, from one point Einstein's words prove to be doubtless. Conversely, at some situations, they cannot be employed; policemen have to arrest murderers using violent methods if unavoidable, because it truly contributes to keeping peace. Finally, for sincere peaceful living of every citizen, they should admire the values of their society and do nothing against law which would provoke power to demonstrate its impact on them.
giorgio186   
Apr 3, 2012
Book Reports / On Evil Genii - minds and virtues [9]

Yes, if you are from Eastern Europe you have to be extremely assertive to break through in western countries. But there are few cases of famous Czech people in th US and I don;t mean just ice-hockey players. You may have heard about Milos Forman, a film director and also an Oscar winner. And recently, Bohdan Pomahac, a plastic surgeon, who has made a whole face transplant. So it is possible for Czechs to be respected abroad, however they must be very good in their field.

P. S.: I've just finished a new essay.
giorgio186   
Apr 3, 2012
Book Reports / On Evil Genii - minds and virtues [9]

Wow, you have learned quite a lot. I tried to look up those hunting trophies but I wasn't successful. So I can't help you with that. Sorry. Your knowledge about my country really surprised me; in a good sense, off course. Most of the people, even from countries next to mine, don't know that there is no Czechoslovakia anymore. So I'm happy to read what you've written.
giorgio186   
Apr 2, 2012
Book Reports / On Evil Genii - minds and virtues [9]

Thanks. I've rewritten it.
Our schools are not bad. But there are quite significant differences in the quality of teaching among them. I guess it's normal everywhere. I have the luck to study at a very good one. What have you learned about Czech Republic? Anything interesting?
giorgio186   
Apr 1, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About Me - born in Indonesia [4]

Why do you think that YOU should be the chosen one? Write it and support it with arguments.
giorgio186   
Mar 31, 2012
Book Reports / On Evil Genii - minds and virtues [9]

I rewrote the concluding paragraph and put it after the first one. I also added something about virtues and a conclusion. Presently, I'm in high school. I'd like to apply for some British and American universities, next year. But at first, I must get a scholarship funding. So I have to send an application essay there.This my training for it. Then taking IELTS follows (I need at least 7.0 points). How do you see my chances? Please, be honest.

On Genii on Evil's Duty

The greatest minds are capable of the greatest vices as well as of the greatest virtues.

René Descartes

The status of genius is being nearly always ascribed to people standing on the 'Good Side'. But by what pattern do we presume they cannot be the evil ones? Why do we think that there is no man of Aristotle's intelligence, not willing to devote himself to science, and merely deceiving people to get their money, or confidence, instead? Do the evil genii exist? How can they endanger us? Is there any correlation between extraordinary abilities and goodness?

Honestly, I don't believe that character of a man evinces any connection with his intelligence at all. As the historical evidence proves, our world has experienced genii on both sides - good and evil; I have no reason to think otherwise. Evil genii exist. Their capabilities enable them to outwit other people using treacherous methods, which less insightful villains cannot use. I will demonstrate the impact of genii on each side as well as answer my opening questions more thoroughly in the following paragraphs.

A man doesn't become a nation's leader if he is not competent of ingenious acting. Regrettably, even Hitler was an exceptionally intelligent person. His thoughts, recorded in Mein Kampf, give us a deeper insight into his mind. We inquire that, once we free of all the racist insults included, some ideas appear to be formed by a brusque political thinker. No matter, what your conviction is, demanding bigger responsibility from politicians for their own decisions, would be an enhancement in government sphere. Hitler worked out many ideas, like the one mentioned, that cannot be objectively considered neither bad, nor silly. But he definitely personified an Evil in himself and his great thoughts were overwhelmed by the bestial ones.

Moreover, lots of insightful villains could be named in addition. Luckily, genial minds belong to the good side, too. Amongst those, many scientists, striving to improve peoples' lives, can be enumerated, as well as enlightened rulers, politicians and philosophers, whose efforts contribute to well-being of men. According to this, high intelligence seems to be regulated by Gaussian curve among good and bad people equally, which may sound a little negative. But as the amount of good people in the world is much larger than the quantity of others, the ratio of genii on both sides should follow the same rule.

Nevertheless, provided that good and evil genii seldom occur in the same era on both sides, one of the enemy sides often feels wronged. Environment always plays immensely important role in determining what way would the genius aim. We have to realise that the genius' fate is not firmly predestined; they can change their beliefs during life, they are being influenced by people around them; by many criteria, genii are similar to normal population.

They are capable - this is the key formulation. The greatest minds are more likely to be able of significant deeds. A lucid mind is greatly demanded means of achieving development and it's also the most dangerous weapon - constructing nuclear bombs, toxic gases and biological viruses. Dangerousness of a man grows with his psychical, abilities in a geometrical row if they are misused.

In contrast to this, many researchers dedicated their lives to the effort to improve the lives of others. For instance, take Marie Curie Sklodowska, a winner of Nobel Prize for Science and, who joined the army medical service during the First World War and exposed herself to radiation many times so as to help doctors examine their patients. She jeopardised her health to save people. Later, she died of radiation as a highly respected scientist and a virtuous heroine. The willingness to sacrifice herself for others made her an icon of science's merits.

Furthermore, a sort of solace may be sought in fact that there are some stupid people among bad. And the stupid ones often let themselves get caught while perpetrating a crime, which at least reduces the counts of bad side. Unfortunately merely by the stupid criminals.

In conclusion, I would like to emphasise that goodness of people is even harder to measure than their intelligence. Therefore we can never be sure what the real number of good and bad genii is. But it's easily presumable that the percentage is the same, as it works for all the features of character. Thus the war between Good and Evil lasts.

Thanks. I appreciate your help a lot.
giorgio186   
Mar 30, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

So here is the final version of the whole essay. If you have anything more to add I will appreciate it. Thanks for your great help. It would be a pleasure to have my next essay corrected by you. I hope I'll manage to write and post it tomorrow.

On the Assets of Plural Opinions
giorgio186   
Mar 29, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

Ok, here is the conclusion. Thanks for the correction in advance. As soon as you correct it, I will piece it together and then post it again for the final check. I appreciate your help very much and I hope you won't mind editing my other essays that I'll send very soon. Thank you.

Prevention of tyranny should be one of the most essential points included in every state's constitution and more importantly in people's minds. People ought to be encouraged to express their opinions, even though they were critical. The ruling power should be strictly divided into three components, as it was figured out by Montesquieu many years ago, to stop anyone who would try to seize too much of it. The greatest opportunity for these vicious attempts always takes place in states where the inhabitants are indifferent to the political affairs. A wise philosopher said: 'For Evil suffices Good's doing nothing'. So the ones keeping silence, while tyranny is gaining control over their country, do have the responsibility for their state's situation; they bear a part of guilt. People should set many controlling mechanisms, overseeing government, so as to make every tyrannical endeavour futile. Furthermore, the opinions of all the citizens must exist, be heard, taken into consideration of the government and applied to its acting. Because the indifference would sooner, or later enable tyranny to raise. To end with, tyranny can take hold of power in many ways; absence of people's opinions is one of the simplest ones; luckily, the one which we may easily protect from. By having and expressing our opinions.
giorgio186   
Mar 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

Here is one paragrapgh. I would put it over that I have sent before. I am planning to elaborate all the thoughts suggested by you, soon. So this is just the first one.

As for the choice of Czech Republic,... you are probably right, but I am not sure whether I would be able to some it up in a few sentences.

I will do the rest as soon as possible. Thank you

Tyrants, holding the power, often become paranoid. Some of them, such as Hitler, start to suspect their closest co-workers of treachery and then kill them. Getting rid of former friends by implication weakens the tyrant's position. He loses professional affiliates who know precisely how to sustain his governance. The people's belief in his absolute power is also done harm - if he had to kill his friends, then he had to feel some insecurity. Moreover, if he slayed them, nobody can be safe. So the attempt to overthrow him should be made, because there's just not any other chance. Thus tyrants contribute to destabilising their governing, which seems to be rather ludicrous, but if you realise the influence that power has on man, doesn't sound irrational at all. And again, desire to control everyone's opinion is a very common cause of tyrant's becoming paranoid. Not many rulers can live calmly with the knowledge that the people, whom they govern, would make use of every option to kill them. Turns out, tyrants' endeavour to master everything is vastly counter-productive in its consequences.
giorgio186   
Mar 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'obliged to do what you don't like' - essay on doing jobs people don't like [6]

In the beginning, you are writting about the people that do the work they don't like as if they were liars. I don't like it. Maybe you could add some reasons to support their arguments, because in certain cases they are right.I don't mean that you should make excuses for them, but you can't condemn all of them.

Sorry... Just my opinion. I hope it doesn't offend you.
giorgio186   
Mar 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

To chalumeau:
Great thanks. I have rewritten that part. I hope you'll like it. I'm from Czech Republic, so my mother tongue is Czech (western-slavic language group). Why are you asking? And where are you from? Here is the reworked part and thanks again.

P.S.: I'll post some mere essays soon. I would appreciate if you read (and corrected) them too.
So long.
giorgio186   
Mar 26, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

Ok, it sounds good. Thanks very much. By the way, what do you think about it generally? Because I would like to apply for some British university, but I am from Eastern Europe, so I really have no feedback for my essays in English here.I want to improve my writing so as to be able to construct a genuinely good composition. Thus if you can comment anything more, please don't hesitate and do it. I'll be grateful.

Thanks again.
giorgio186   
Mar 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

Thank you very much.
Do you see a picture of zealously arguing men or just a bunch of apathetic people, nodding their heads?

I'm not sure whether the latter would work?

Does it sound better?
giorgio186   
Mar 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / Essay About the Importance of Plural Opinions [16]

On the Assets of Having Different Opinions

"When all think alike, no one is thinking very much."

Imagine a company managers making up a new strategic plan. Do you see a picture of enthusiastically arguing men, stating their reasons, sometimes almost shouting or just a bunch of people, calmly sitting on chairs, apathetically nodding their heads? I would not bet on the latter one at least not in a long-term successful company. The mutual exchange of opinions is crucial in order to achieve consensus. No one can be certain whether or not his belief is right and therefore the discussion seems to be the way of assessing the solutions so as to accomplish the best one. Although seldom, some people are deeply convinced about their version of the truth. Once they are given a power they represent a great danger for anyone whose life they can influence. Hence plural opinions are highly desirable to prevent ourselves from being mastered by these people.

In addition to this, democracy has no sense per se, without diverse opinions. They are the driving force behind every voting, defending our values as one of the essential rules to enable people live in peace, with enough money for necessary needs and to apply their free will. Despite democracy emerged to be extremely expensive in centuries, it still is the least restricting state system, designed to serve people not to enslave them which appears to me to be the most relevant attribute of governing establishment.

Moreover, different opinions lay huge inhibitions for tyranny. Dominating a state, in which the attention is being paid to the resolutions of politicians, they are being carefully supervised by the citizens so that to be fully accountable, a tyranny is unlikely to take place. Provided this, own opinion may help even with protecting human right to freedom. But a lot of people was surprised in the past when the tyranny took place, after they had abandoned their opinions and stopped asserting them.

A great drawback of the right to have an opinion lies in the fact that this right relates to everyone. Even the biggest fool (Not meant in a medical sense)is allowed to tell what he thinks, when he thinks that he thinks. Human rights must not be denied anybody, with no exceptions. Finally, fool is able to enrich a debate more than anyone would expect at times. And even if he doesn't, which represents the majority of cases, he should be allowed to participate in governing the community he lives in, because he ought to have an influence on decisions affecting his life. So the democracy for everyone should not bet just an auxiliary slogan availed to get elected and then neglected a second-rate interest, but a genuine goal of every politician as well as citizen.

Although I have discussed the merits of varying opinions in government sphere primarily so far, I would like to add a few words about 'democratic principles' in everyday use. In my experience, contemplating various people's arguments has proven to be the most effective means of resolving seemingly insoluble problems. How can you know that the man, who looks like an idiot and whom you strongly despise, will not have an idea which would your company and therefore you earn millions? A tricky question. You cannot. Thus you should not dismiss anyone's point of view, if there is even the slightest hope that it could help you. You might be surprised how well it works.

'When all think alike, no one is thinking very much', doesn't mean that we should not accept any other opinion but our own. This interpretation appears to be rather demagogic. The fact that we admit someone's having truth doesn't signify that we haven't considered it very profoundly. Blind acceptance, in the other hand, rarely leads to anybody's satisfaction.

In conclusion, we ought to evade having fear confrontation, but we should not stubbornly be attached to our beliefs, after they have been proven wrong. We should try to find the best solutions by mutual aid, by discussing, because exchanging opinions is not only the way of inducing an argument, it's also the way creative people work. For it's very effective.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

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