Writing Feedback / Ielts ( preventing crimes with childhood behavior analyzing) [3]

Dear Friends I will be son thankful having your comments on my essay

Some scientists believe that they can tell whether a child will grow up to be a criminal by studying his or her behavior at the age of three. What is your opinion?

In recent years tremendous advancements have been occurred in various fields of science and crime detection is one. By help of these improvements it is claimed that scientist can predict the child's potential to become criminal in early childhood. In my opinion it can't be a reasonable and beneficial trend.

First of all there are several environmental factors that turn a human to a criminal and the childhood behavior doesn't play an important role. When studying the life story of thieves, killers, offenders, it is observed that their bad family condition, hunger, poverty and being bad treated are the key elements leading them to nasty and crimes. Although by studying their early ages it can be seen that most of them haven't shown different behaviors and attitudes than the other children and it has been just the life's conditions that have made them criminals.

Moreover, it is not fair to label a child as a potential criminal. Their acts and actions are just formed according to their parent's behavior and what they learn in their family. Most of small children that show inappropriate behavior grow up in families that parents are not aware of the roles of raising a child and so they show some misbehavior. It is obvious that knowing them as a potential criminal and separating from others is not fair and will have negative effects on their feeling.

In conclusion considering the facts that children's behavior in childhood doesn't have any relation with possibility of becoming a criminal in future and also unfairness of considering some children as future criminals I am completely against of the idea of finding and investigating future criminals by analyzing childhood behavior.

Writing Feedback / 'There are convincing factors for not wasting money on Space Exploration' - IELTS [2]

I have passed my previous ielts Writing General with 6.5 mark. For that exam I read several writings but I didn't write nothing on paper and I know it has been my mistake.

As I need 7 in Writing I have decided to write ... and now this is my second ( Really second completed one !!!!!!) I usually get tired in middle of that...

and now it is
I had to mention I wrote it without considering time and with lots of corrections but finally I wrote and so I am feeling good :)

I will be so thankful if you help me correcting that

Spent Money on Space Exploration is a complete waste of time

For development of science and technology, countries are investing a part of their budget into different scientific research areas and projects. Space exploration is considered one of those projects that considering the huge amount of money it requires, its efficiency has become doubtable. It is argued that this money can be spent on other beneficial areas and subject instead of some unplanned space exploration projects.

It is clearly obvious that while there are several important areas of research like health, diseases, industry to be invested on space exploration can not be a priority.There are lots of poor countries that spending money on developing their industry and welfare system has a higher degree of importance. In addition investing money on health problems and serious dangerous diseases is more beneficial for human being. While these higher priority areas exist why spending huge money for outer space?

Beside above reason the unknown goals of space exploration projects is another challenge. it is highly acceptable that having knowledge about surrounding word and outer space is necessary but several researchers are disagree with lots of space exploration projects as they do not follow a reasonable goal. Many of them are just because of some scientists' curiosity that is not a convincing reason for wasting huge amount of money.

At the end considering existence of several other high priority areas of research as well as the usefulness results of several space exploration projects are convincing factors for not wasting too much money on space exploration. However as an open and interesting area of research that can be somehow beneficial spending reasonably and planned on this area is beneficial.

Writing Feedback / Teenagers should work without a salary to help the local community? [4]

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole.

Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, one of the major concerns of parents is what is the best activity for filling the free time of their youths while providing them with up most of gains and experiences.It is stated that volunteer unpaid jobs in society are the best option as they give lots of benefits to both society and teenagers. Here we mention some of the advantages.

In one hand we mention its benefits for teenagers. first of all being in society and working with adults teaches lots of social living skills which can not be learned just by studying at school.Also it makes them familiar with different jobs broadening working views of teenagers and making them to choose their future work more accurately .Furthermore doing an unpaid jobs gives student a feeling of proud of being useful for their society.

Beside above benefits for teenagersو society also gains some advantages either. Firstly the helping and participating attitudes of society members are increased.it has been proved that when people are encouraged from childhood to participate in community activities it is formed in their mind to be eager to do it in their future life that is very positive attitude for people هin a community. Furthermore from economical view having unpaid workers is a huge help to society economizing a part of their budget and spending it in other areas.

In conclusion regarding lots of experiences, skills and knowledge students gain and also the economical and social gain of society It is highly recommended that parents encourage their child to do these jobs in their free times.