Writing Feedback / Parents and educational places as schools are crucial, as they can influence on children's behaviour [4]

Dear all,

Please kindly help me to check this essay.

Topic: Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People have different views about who should be responsible for teaching young generation to become a valuable person for society. In my opinion, children can learn from both parents and schools.

On the one hand, parents are the first teacher of children. They are powerful role models that influence on children's behaviors. In children, cognitive learning is a fundamental skill that uses to gether knowledge from surrounding circumstances. Therefore, parents play an important role that impact on children's experiences. Especially on the first stage of children development, parents can act as positive modeling for their child about hot to be a responsible man for their community. This will create good starting of learning for children in order to be good members of society

On the other hand, when young children grow up to be juveniles. Academies are vital places where young generation takes most part of his/her life at its. In many schools consist of varieties of teachers and experts who can conduct children to understand the right and the wrong. This leads to create a quality person for society. In addition, schools are the first place that children can learn to cooperate with others. This can help young age understand about how to be a good participant in society. As a result, schools are imitated social circumstances, and they have key persons as teachers and practiced persons who can educate a right way for young generation.

In conclusion, it seems to me that parents and educational places as schools are crucial roles that can influence on children's behavior, and also can direct young age to be good members of society.

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Thank you

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay : About factors of job satisfaction [5]

Hello everyone,

Please help me to check my second essay. I hope it will have some development from previous one.

Topic : As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.
What factors contribute to job satisfaction?
How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

At present, it is obvious that a main part of adult life is spent at work. Therefore, self-satisfaction in job is one of components, which creates wellbeing in people's life. In the meantime there are many factors that conduce to job satisfaction. This essay will describe some examples of factors that create delighted at job and, so some examples of practical expectation that occur in reality of life's.

To begin with, if we look back at our decisions when we got a job opportunity. We will be found that there are simple things that help people to accept or deny a job, such as acceptable salary, experienced work, or close to home. There are basic factors that make people to admit a job, and lead to satisfying about their job.

However, in practical situations, the decision in a job or job satisfaction reasons can be different up to personal experiences or ages. For instance, some new graduated students prefer bid companies to small companies, because they can learn good standard office systems of those companies. While small or unknown companies may not afford desirable standards for the graduated students. For a further example, some expatriate workers are influenced by attracting cultures or civilization of other countries, are designing to work aboard. These are examples of other factors that can contribute to job satisfaction.

In conclusion, job satisfaction can be affected by many determinants, which up to people's circumstances, ages or experiences that they would like to take from their selected work.

251 words

Writing Feedback / IELTS essay : Fixed punishment for each type of crime or Flexibility in punishing? [6]

Please help me to evaluate and rate this essay. I will appreciate you so much, Thank you.

Topic : Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Other, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In generally, a person who is suspected to be a criminal, and proved that he or she is guilty. They should be punishment by laws. It is basically judgment in standard of society. In addition, many crimes have different in evidences and motivations that lead to wide of rates in punishment. However, some people argue that the punishment should be fixed for each kind of violation, while others believed that each crime has different background. Hence, it may have variety of rates in punishment.

In my opinion, punishment should be fixed in each type of crime, because it will create equality in society. For instance, if riches peoples do a crime, they will get same punishment as poorest peoples. This will make peace in every status of society.

Moreover, standard punishment will make people realize in social regulation and laws. Therefore, they will not do any culpability over others. Examples n Singapore, where is strictly fixed in rules. Singaporean usually is severely following the regulations, such as crossing street. If driver crashes people who were not passing over street by crosswalk, will not guilty in this accident. From this evidence, it forces people to follow the rules.

On the other hand, fixed rules might not suitable in some crime that need to investigation. Especially in some murder case may happen by accident or protecting oneself. These circumstances may lead to conversely judgment, because it is differential driving force. For example, In some state, father who accidentally killed a man was not got any punishment, due to the fact that murdered man tried to rape his daughter. By this example is showed that fixed punishment may not right in this verdict. It is showed that conditions and motivations may need to use in court decision.

To sum up, fixed punishment may need to use in standard regulations for social harmonizing. However, some punishment should be adjust by follow situation and motivation in each crime. These will appoint peacefully in society.