Undergraduate / Art for Little Hearts/ Common App on ECA [2]

i think it is a good topic, but it is missing you in it. the party where you takl about food tasting and expenditures seems rather irrelevant. i think it might help if you talk more about what it meant to you personally and how you really helped push it through.

Undergraduate / The most prestigious; BU supp/ "Why Boston University" [4]

first off, I would take out your second use of "presitigious". it sounds a little repetitive.
Its a good essay, but it almost feels slightly generic. you kind of just list all the things you like but I think you should try to make it a little more flowing and cohesive. try to put a little more of how boston will help you and why you need it.

Undergraduate / History, and mathematics have captured me and never let goCornell sup [10]

its really good! but you need to take out the comma after "the fields of history, and mathematics"

Undergraduate / 'bullying minority students and cheating' University of Pennsylvania supplement essay [3]

it is spelled "succumb"

Undergraduate / 'He Spoke' - Common App Essay, symbolism with the hair? [3]

That sounds really great. I really like what you did with the hair symbolism. It has a really great flow to it.

Undergraduate / 'top-notch liberal arts education' - Vassar Supplement Essay [3]

"Vassar's allowing students' high level of academic freedom"
try to reword the beginning of this phrase- it sounds a little awkward in its current state. maybe something more along the lines of "Vassar's allowance of a broad range of academic freedom for its students" would flow a little better.

Undergraduate / 'nothing is guaranteed' - Villanova Supplement [3]

I think you should try to add more about the lesson part of this besides that there is a limit. It does not sound very personal right now and is rather negative.

Undergraduate / 'Big change in my life, My Voice' - Common App Essay [7]

you say "like all the other English teachers I'd had". you should change it to "I had". contractions do not look good in a college essay.

Undergraduate / 'Beijing is an amazing city' - Common App - Personal Experience and Its Impact [6]

You don't need the comma after "There were so many goods, lining the market place."