Posts by undidiamaka [Suspended]

undidiamaka

Dec 15, 2012

Writing Feedback / may 1990 was my final in hight school [3]

please can someone help me with my essay?

May 1990 was my final year in high school, and I was hoping that when I'm done with high school I will further my education not knowing that my parent are having financial problem. I have already visited many schools and the school is interest in me, because I am a very good and polite person. So when I finish my final exam I went home to tell my parent that I'm through with high school, and they told me that they're proud of me. Two days later I meet my father so that we can discuss how I will further my education and he do not allow me to discuss the issue with him? So I left his room, and went to my mum, and ask her am I going to further my education. She told me that she is not sure because they're having financial problem, and university process is hard to handle in this type of solution they found themselves right now. But I state that what she mean does she mean that I'm not going to university, and she told me yes but maybe in the future if I still want to go back to school then they will figure it out. After she told me that I leave her and go back to my room, and start thinking what I can do to send myself to school but I cannot cracking anything, because I'm not work. I stayed at house without doing anything, three month later I join one football club, because I heard that if I played basketball that I will definitely make it, and football will pay for my school fees. I played basketball one year for my state, and try another place, because they said that a man does not find his destiny by staying one place. I moved from my State to another State, and when I reach there I quickly get a club I will play with, because is hard for my country to find a club and if you're not good enough you might not see club to will play because the head coach has see where I played that's why he took me quickly. In other hand I play two years before one coach from united state sees me, and told me that he would like if I can come play for him in his school. I accepted his offer, but I do ask him do he going to give me scholarship, because I do not have anyone to help me over there. And he told me that the school will take care of everything. In addition, when the coach told me that school is the charge of everything I told him that will come to his school, but I have to let my parent know before I will made my final decision. When I told my parent they are very delightful and glorious for me. A week later the coach sends an I-20 to apply to visa, and when I went to embassy they quickly gave me visa and school sends flying ticket to fly to united state of America. My dream later comes to pass and that why you don't have to capitulate in anything you are doing in this life. I remember one my playmate told me that I'm wasting my time for playing football, because no one will look at my face, and when he heard that I has made in through he was dumfounded, because he did not expect me to go that far for football. And I prove him wrong by showing him that he is not my God, and he should stop criticize someone, because he never no tomorrow. So that's how my parent becomes happy family in my community.

undidiamaka

Dec 15, 2012

Undergraduate / From dad / Woman in history / Unafraid / Community - BARNARD [3]

your is organize, you did a very good job with your writing.

undidiamaka

Dec 15, 2012

Book Reports / English Literature paper on Oedipus Rex [4]

I do not understand what you try to say here!!

undidiamaka

Dec 6, 2012

Writing Feedback / Most important benefits from a job: relax, and fulfilling - even if less money [8]

Thanks you for your correction, i appreciate

undidiamaka

Dec 6, 2012

Writing Feedback / Most important benefits from a job: relax, and fulfilling - even if less money [8]

thanks i will do as you say, and i appreciate you idea!!

undidiamaka

Dec 5, 2012

Writing Feedback / Most important benefits from a job: relax, and fulfilling - even if less money [8]

Thanks for your perspective respond!!

undidiamaka

Dec 5, 2012

Writing Feedback / Most important benefits from a job: relax, and fulfilling - even if less money [8]

please can someone help me with this essay.

Is it more important to do work that one finds fulfilling or work that pay well? It is good to chose work that one finds fulfill than one that pay well, because when you're working where you relax, and fulfill even though they have to pay well. It is true that money is important in our living, but is not the reason why we will chose works that pay well, because money cannot buy happiness. When we enjoy our work we find happiness during the process of our work. The prospective of find fulfill work is very good for our living, and also gives us confidence in our life. Being happiness in the work is valuable that no money cannot provide. I believe that people work that well is always unhappy every time, because they don't have confidence in the life.

undidiamaka

Dec 5, 2012

Writing Feedback / the largest percentage was presented in teacher; Ilets task 1 pie charts [3]

it will more better if you use more phrase.

undidiamaka

Dec 5, 2012

Undergraduate / The walk. Common app essay - I had a nightmare [9]

wooow This your write intrigue me, you a professional writer keep it up.

undidiamaka

Nov 24, 2012

Undergraduate / 'molecular and computational biology - academic interests USC short response [8]

your essay was good, but you should more phases it would make it sound more better.

undidiamaka

Nov 24, 2012

Writing Feedback / Essay about my visit to a friend and his wife's problems [2]

My topic is how I visit my friend suddenly something happen to his wife: There was one day I visit my friend, and not known that his wife was pregnant suddenly something happen. As we are eating dinner that night his wife fell down and died, immediately we took her to hospital to find out if the baby still alive, when we arrived to the hospital doctor start operation right away. When the doctor brought out the baby, he tell us that the baby still alive, and my friend kneel down on his knees to pray to God, as far as the baby is alive please you should bring his wife to alive. Immediately his wife continues to breathe again, and come back to life everyone out there was happy. Meanwhile I have heard the same story couple year's age, but this particular one was different from the one I heard. In other hand is good to trust in God, and also have faith, because if my friend does not have faith his wife could not be alive today.

After his wife come back to alive doctor tell us that she would stay in hospital for five days before they can discharge her. My friend was over happy, and all he has to say that night is so far his wife is alive he doesn't bother if she stays one month in hospital. My friend and I went back to his residence that night, and when we get house he called all his homebody to tell them what happen to him, and how is important to believe in God. My friend could not sleep night, because he told me that could not believe what God has done for him, and he doesn't know where to start thanking him. When day break he told me that he cannot wait for five days to bring his wife home, because is too far for him. In additionally I went back to my house in the following day, and tell my parent what has happen and that why I did not come back that night. And they told me I did a well.

undidiamaka

Nov 24, 2012

Writing Feedback / GRE - technology deteriors our critical thinking abilities - feedback/grading [2]

Although technology has given us great comfort and amenities in our daily lives, its rapid advancement is also regressing societal evolution by providing easy solutions to problems, thus preventing people from developing their own intellectual faculties. In media, the easy access to information has increased people's reliance on abridged news-feeds making people more susceptible to malicious in-citation. In business, the advent of information management systems integrating market information has enabled the centralization of decision-making process to a few individuals, as a result, amplifying the financial magnitude and scope of moral hazard. Finally, in the words of Winston Churchill, "Victory will never be found by taking the line of least resistance," personal growth is often the result of adversity. Technology usage could therefore deprive us of the stimulation and pressure necessary for developing our own mental capacity.

First, technological enhancement in the ways we share information and socialize deters people from fact checking magnify human errors and intensify social problems. As an inadvertent success of a college gossip application turn momentous global networking sensation, Facebook is esteemed to be the epitome of the best fusion of creativity, practicality, and technology. However, behind the glamorous ideal of sharing happiness among friends are perturbing social and psychological implications to its users. Many may argue that this ease of broadcasting and sharing of opinions increase the efficiency for the freedom of debate, but this benefit must be qualified by the fact that not all people are mature enough or can afford the time to think critically given the information updated by their trusted friends. That is, a reliance on Facebook to feed facts according to friends could orchestra embarrassments such as the recent incident where tens and thousands of official pages of organizations updated the news that Morgan Freeman is deceased without substantiated evidence, only to apologize later to the celebrity and fans causing grief damage to the organizations' credence; or in the extreme case, the social media platform that facilitates the instigation of an increase in teen depression culminating to a hype of Facebook-bully related teen suicide. In essence, Facebook has technologically enabled unverified malicious comments and bullying remarks to migrate from playgrounds to cyberspace, where nothing's forgotten. Thus, people should exercise extra care when it comes to generating, processing, and acting on information supplied by such platforms.

Second, businesses increasing rely on management programs such as algorithmic trading, which is preventing business leaders from justifying business decisions based on economic acumen and actively respond to fluid market and interpersonal information. This cripples organic organizational growth and lightens accountability from business leaders making their business more vulnerable to technical error and the leaders themselves more prone to behave immorally. In the case of Knight Capital Group, who was the largest trader in U.S. equities, lost $440 million in 2010 due to a glitch of their high frequency algorithm trading software from an update, and in 2012 another disruption in the prices of 148 New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) listed companies resulting in the vanishing of 75% of their equity value. The number of jobs and family houses lost as a consequence is monumental, and all of this is the result of a reliance on technology and a failure to manage public asset prudently by the few staffs employed by Knight Capital. Furthermore, while publicly the mistake is sourced to a glitch in the system, one must take this piece of information with caution because the level of expertise and genius involved in the development of software as well as the largess of the wealth at hand could easily induce anyone to profit from disguised manipulation. Even though technology-enabled enterprises that create centralized management systems have certainly improved productivity and minimized cost around the world, but technology fundamentally are amoral and are means to an end. They are explicitly programmed and are bounded human capabilities and lacking in human creativity, empathy, and intuition. Therefore, mistaking accuracy with sensibility and integrity is dangerous when it comes to making economic decisions, and managers and shareholders alike should learn from the failure of Knights Capital.

The previous cases have demonstrated that the reliance on technology to deliver and spread accurate, abridged, and valuable information has put our daily affairs in peril. Yet, it seems the popularity of Facebook and algorithmic trading remains uncontested. One of the main reasons is that they provide us with immediate gratification, which is always associated with a long-term cost. The deferred of gratification remain a key sign of personal growth, and the easy access to these gratifications enabled by technology is manifesting in stifled maturity development and character building in young children. The avoidance of calculator in grade school is a classical example to help students develop better math skills that are critical to their later academic success. Arithmetic help students build foundations in the basic mechanisms of logical reasoning, and the usage of calculator rob children of this exercise. It is widely accepted that students learn material better through struggle, much like the strength of muscles which needs to be built, and any short-cut is bound backfire. Hence, an over-reliance on technology is a form of cowardice that swindles us out of the ultimate fulfillment of earned merit.

Clearly, technology has been responsible for several downward spirals in aspects of our daily lives. In areas of media, relationship, business, and education, technology brews dependency and undermines critical thinking. Rather than unconditionally accept all that technology has provided us, we should remain prudent in employing different automated services with care, because ultimately, great friendship, love, wealth, and advancement in human intellectual abilities have prevailed independent of any technological intervention for a majority of humanity's existence.

your essay is so good keep it up.

undidiamaka

Nov 24, 2012

Book Reports / "Things Fall Apart" - ' Kenneth is popular recognize throughout the nine villages' [2]

Things Fall Apart
Kenneth is popular recognize throughout the nine villages, and even above. His reputation depends on his personal accomplishment. As a young man of eighteen he has brought a position of honor in his villages by propel Joseph the Cat. Joseph was the greatest fighter whom for eight years was undefeated, from (Texas to Mississippi). He was declaration the Cat because his back can never touch the group. According to the novel, the novel state that these men his back never touch group that Kenneth threw in a fight which old men harmony was one of the bothering since the foundation of their community engaged a spirit of the untamed for eight days and eight nights.

The strum beat and the flutes sang and the people watching held their respiration. Joseph was skillful craftsperson, but Kenneth was as smooth as fish in water. Everything on their body's stood out when they are fighting. In end Joseph defeat Cat.

That was couple years age this thing happen, and throughout that time Kenneth's fame has grew like a forest- fire in the dust-storm. He was baggier and gigantic and his unkempt forehead and his large nose gave him a special precise look. He breathed arduously, and they said that, when he slept, his spouses and kids in their residences can hear him breathe. In other hand when he is walking his heel hardly touched land and he seems to walk on jump, as if he is going to attack someone. But he did attack on somebody quite frequently. He has an insignificant stutter and whenever he was irritated and cannot get his words out faster, he will use his clenched. He is impatience with on failure men. He has had no patience with his father.

Emmanuel, for that was his father's name; he had dead couple year's age. When his father was alive he was inactive, sluggish and spendthrift, and was quite inadequate of thinking about tomorrow. According to the author, he states that if any money comes his way, and it infrequent did, he bought flask palm-wine right away and yelling for his homebody and made festive. He continually said that every time he saw a dead man's mouth he saw the nonsense of not eating what one has in one's lifetime. Emmanuel was, certainly, a purchaser, and he owed every homebody some money, from a few cowries to quite important amounts.

Kenneth father has height but very slim and have a small slouch. He wears worn and sorrowful look except when he sees drinking or having fun on his groove. He was very nice on his groove, and his elated brief was the two or three moons following the harvest when the villages musician bring down their implement, suspend them above the fireplace.