Undergraduate / I chose to become a civil engineer / Carnegie Mellon University Supp [4]

Any criticism would be very helpful.
--------------------------------
I chose to become a civil engineer because of my local environment club, MEVO, which stands for Mahwah Environmental Volunteer Organization. Although I've only joined it for a few months, I gained not only a newfound love for the environment, but also leadership skills, being efficient in using power, and recognizing and using sustainable resources. I decided that I wanted to keep contributing to the well- being of the environment by engineering efficient resources and sustainable products. Having strong skills in math and science, I steered onto the path of a civil engineer. With Carnegie Mellon's distinctive Civil and Environmental Engineering program and immediate exposure to engineering from day one, it will provide challenges that will help me become a successful civil engineer. Even though I would like to pursue a major in civil engineering, I would like to see what other programs Carnegie Mellon's Institute of Technology can offer. What Carnegie Mellon's College of Engineering offers that no other college does is a flexible curriculum. As a result, I can attempt other aspects of engineering such as industrial engineering to broaden my perspectives. With Carnegie Mellon's research programs, I can learn more efficient ways of helping the environment out. With three major departments, each one is a crucial step in helping me becoming a successful civil engineer. The Environmental Engineering, Sustainability, and Science Research Department will help me tackle on the sustainability challenges of the 21st century. Also, the CEE's Cooperative Education Program can give me real hands on experience in the work environment and will test how I will apply what I learned into the real world. Studying abroad in different countries would expose me to different environmental problems and challenges. What I can learn from one environmental crisis in one place can help me resolve another crisis somewhere else. Besides intense focusing on majors, Carnegie Mellon's 250 student organizations and 15 athletics will let me continue the activities I loved throughout high school, such as continuing my love for marching through the distinct kiltie band or continue my running career through varsity track and field. With enticing CMU traditions such as the three day spring carnival and the buggy race, I will have the right amount of fun and work right at Carnegie Mellon University. Saving the world is a lofty ambition. However, Carnegie Mellon will give me the skills and experience that will help me make an impact on the environment. I will be more than ready to tackle on the challenges Carnegie Mellon offers and come out of it a motivated civil engineer who's prepared to tackle on the real world.

Undergraduate / my love and dedication for music; UMich Supplemental Essay 1 Community [2]

Can i have criticism for this essay. Any would be nice
_________________________________________
What made marching band more special than any other community I've been part of? It was more than just my love and dedication for music. It became my family. When I was only a freshman, I walked through the hallways passing giant, intimidating upperclassmen. However, every once in a while, someone from marching band would say "Hi" to me. Marching band wasn't just a place to rehearse: it was a place where people could confide in each other when times were tough. It certainly was mine whenever the high school blues would kick in. Marching band wasn't always about intense rehearsals and shows. Band and bowling parties, movie nights, and even band football were added to the mix. This helped make everyone closer as a band and a family. What also made this band so special was teamwork. Each member, whether the drum major or the cymbal player, had an equally important role in the band. Playing the biggest bass drum in the drumline, I had the role of keeping a loud, solid beat throughout the show so the band would march and play in tempo. My role in the band proved to me that everyone was vital to the success of our marching band. To have such an important role gave me motivation to work hard, knowing that part of our marching band's success depends on my contribution. As I leave high school and marching band, I will always remember the value of marching band and its family bonds.

Undergraduate / Ranked 8th in the world...: UMich Supp/ Why UMich? [4]

Ranked 8th in best engineering schools by US News and World Report, The University of Michigan's College of Engineering certainly has its perks: engineering programs ranked among the top 15 in its field, over 216 prestigious full professors, its multiple interdisciplinary and combined degree programs, and its nationwide research programs. Its unconventional teachings and programs would be the perfect fit for my interests of pursuing a field in engineering. Although I've been inclined to pursue a major in civil engineering, I've decided to keep an open mind on what I would major so I can experience the programs UMich has to offer. What really interested me about University of Michigan was BLUElab. During my summer after junior year, I joined my local environment club, Mahwah Environmental Volunteer Organization, also known as MEVO. There, I not only gained valuable leadership experience, but also learned how to be more efficient with using power and more sustainable resources and being more environmentally conscious. I want to continue contributing to the environment through the skills I learned in school and the University of Michigan's College of Engineering can help me get there. By being involved in the BLUElab, I can continue being ambitious in improving the environment and be able to contribute in a global level while being able to learn. Another interesting program I came across was the Multidisciplinary Design Program. This would teach me how to interact with people of different talents and skills and give me an opportunity to design my own projects in sustaining the environment. Today, there is no solid definition for an engineer. Being creative, applying math and science to real-life situations, and solving problems have become mere parts of what's expected of an engineer today. The Combined Degrees Program would help expand my knowledge and prepare me for 21st century problems. The BLUElab is a way to apply what I learn in to the real world. Lastly, the Multidisciplinary Design Program would teach me in being a leader and designing my own projects and solutions. Studying at the University of Michigan's diverse programs will fully prepare me for tackling the world's most difficult issues.