Undergraduate / TUTORING has been a significant part of my life; Extracurricular Activity [2]

Common App extracurricular short answer-needs to be under 1000 characters, currently 1230 with spaces
Any tips on what to cut//how to edit it?

Spreading Knowledge Through Tutoring

For as long as I can remember, tutoring has been a significant part of my life: from tutoring classmates in elementary, to tutoring algebra and pre-cal for Mu Alpha Theta. More recently, I have had the opportunity to work as a paid instructor at Mathnasium, collaborating with kids and their parents to help overcome difficulties with school material, or push even further ahead. As an instructor, I have the freedom to choose how and what students should work on to achieve given results. With greater responsibility come greater benefits for success--working with a student to overcome a year of missed material within a single month was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

Knowledge is something which deserves to be spread,but teaching others has never been about charity. Rather, I've found that the act benefits me as much, if not more than those whom I help. Knowing a topic for a course requires a basic knowledge of its rules and mechanics, but to teach a topic forces you to understand it on a deeper, more conceptual level, cutting out all mental shortcuts to reveal the core idea. I believe that my extensive tutoring experience has given me a better understanding of math, and a deeper sense of empathy.

Undergraduate / Diverse nurturing environment/ Dynamic Urban life; Why Chicago U? [2]

Took a bit of work, but this seems to work
Deadline is coming up and I really want to make this work well enough

<Not sure if I need an actual introduction>
I have chosen to study physics because it satisfies my scientific curiosity, while allowing to me create ideas that can have a tangible effect on the world.

A human life seldom lasts longer than a century. The life of human civilization has lasted for millennia. The measure of one's life is not what he has acquired for himself, but how he influences the world and what is left after him. Unlike so many other careers, the work of an engineer is not used up. Individuals die, buildings crumble, but ideas and innovations last forever, pushing forward, and serving as the groundwork for future innovations.

As an individual, I want to leave my mark on the world, and I hope to do so as a physicist. With its 85 Nobel prize laureates, The University of Chicago struck me as a place whose alumni and faculty create meaningful change and push forward the bounds of scientific knowledge. Studying at the University of Chicago would place me at the forefront of today's scientific progress.

Still, what truly sets researchers apart from other scientific professions is that it requires far more than just knowledge. A researcher is a multi-faceted being, required not only to be an expert, but to design and flesh out projects, combining creativity and knowledge to solve problems and drive innovation. For me, the most striking aspect of The University of Chicago is the spirit ingenuity it seems to radiate. More than just a side effect, the spirit of ingenuity appears to be a core tenet, permeating everything from the esoterically themed Tea Room Lectures, to the essay topics, to the never-ending stream of e-mails bombarding my inbox. More than just a place to learn, The University of Chicago would provide a diverse and nurturing environment for my mind, allowing my own sense of ingenuity to grow, thus making me a far greater engineer.

Lastly, the benefits of attending The University of Chicago aren't limited to what's inside the campus. Born and raised in Moscow, Russia, I grew to enjoy dynamic urban life. Living in Houston, I was never able to connect with surroundings the way I did in Moscow. Though large, Houston is a relatively young city. It lacks that cultural tangibility- that smell, feeling and intricacy of a city that makes places like Moscow and Chicago so interesting to explore. Attending The University of Chicago would reunite me with the cold climate and city life that I have so longed for, and allow me to take advantage of the numerous internship and job opportunities in the thriving city of Chicago.

Undergraduate / Enthusiastic Artist; New Rice ; How you contribute to life at Rice? [2]

So my first essay turned out terrible and had to be scrapped in it's entirety.
Hoping this one gives a better shot at answering the question and being focused

"The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice?"

I have always been an enthusiastic artist.
But I was not always a good one. As a child I enjoyed drawing pictures. Pencil, pastels and paint unfolded on paper as imagined planets, creatures, and machines. Sadly, where I perceived elaborate drawings, others saw meaningless scribbles. But hours spent doodling and sketching eventually began to pay off. With time and practice, my skills gradually improved, and so did my art. I had, in a sense, evolved from a caveman to a 5th grader. In the following years, my self-taught 'talent' would win me awards, a scholarship to the Glassell School of Art, and give me access to a better middle school through a magnet program. Nevertheless, the most important thing I got out of it was an idea; an idea which may now seem intensely cliche, but which, as a pre-teen, seemed revolutionary. Having, through practice, become skillful at Art, I acquired the belief that, with enough time and effort, I could become successful at whatever I chose to pursue. It was a belief that would remain unchallenged for many years to come.

When I was a preschooler, my father - still a college student - would spend evening teaching me math and chemistry, concepts which mostly went far over my head, but often left me with a sense of wonder. As a result, when I moved and started school in the U.S., I was already ahead in that area, thanks to the strong foundation I established in Russia. With both parents working, overcoming the language barrier proved difficult, which gave me even more appreciation for math. Mathematics was direct, governed by a straightforward and logical set of rules, in comparison with the seemingly random and arbitrary tendencies of language and humanities. Still, looking back at my experience with art, I understood that succeeding in those classes I found difficult was only a matter of putting in more time and effort. It would be all too easy to tell myself I was simply bad at history, or that truly understanding English didn't matter, so long as I made the grade. When I first started taking French, I was frustrated by the idea of 'wasting' more time struggling to earn another [language/topic I had no interest in/topic I had no affinity for], but assumed I could get by in the same way I had before. Still, it seemed, no matter how much time I spent studying the words, all would be gone within a week, and my grades suffered as a result. Having spent a year and learned practically nothing, I felt hopeless.

The following year we got a new teacher with a radically different approach. Speaking to us in French and discussing french history and art, Mr. Swope captured our enthusiasm for learning the language. As a result, I got far more out of the class, acquiring not only the language, but an appreciation for French culture. Still, the most astonishing change was how I captured the material. Studying for French was no longer the continuous grind it had been before. French transformed from a set of words, to a general comprehension.To me, this experience presented a revelation: hard work alone was not enough to master a topic. Try as I could, knowledge could not be achieved without genuine curiosity, thus, the only way to truly succeed at something would be to find a way to enjoy it.

Encouraged by what occurred in French, I sought to apply this principle elsewhere. Rather than feeling bad and blaming myself or the subject, I forced myself to find an aspect of it I enjoyed; an approach that not only broadened my perspective, but made school far more enjoyable, and allowed me to gain valuable lessons from topics I previously considered useless.

The most important aspect of this approach was that it was not limited to myself. Working as an instructor at Mathnasium, I sought to instill this idea in my students. Rather than attempting to force concepts and skills, I found ways to make students interested in the topic. As a student at Rice, I would seek to promote my approach to learning, just as I have done in Mathnasium and throughout high school.

Anything i should remove or expand upon?
Any words I should change or lines that I should restructure?
Please be mean, and thanks in advance for any advice

Undergraduate / Attend their engineering; Carnegie Mellon Supplement- Why I want to go to Carnegie [NEW]

Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

Kind of a rough draft, but bear with me.

They say a motivated student can get a quality education anywhere, after all the textbooks are pretty much the same. But the degree a student acquires in college is only a small fraction of the benefits one gets out of college. Between the people one meets, and the experiences one acquires, the value of a quality university becomes apparent.

After several months of slogging through college websites and sifting through college mail, I had began to get frustrated. So many engineering schools were available for application, yet so little fulfilled my needs and hopes for an an ideal school, and none stood out as the place where I wanted to spend the next four years of my life.Too many schools seem to focus on one narrow aspect of college while neglecting others. When I first looked at Carnegie Mellon University, I did not initially expect to discover anything new, but as did more research, I began to discover just how much the university has to offer.

A human life seldom lasts longer than a century. The life of human civilization has lasted for millennia. The measure of one's life is not what he has acquired for himself, but how he influences the world and what is left after him.

Unlike so many other careers, the work of an engineer iis not material, but stretches out beyond the individuals which create and use it. Individuals die, buildings crumble, but ideas and innovations last forever, pushing forward, and serving as the groundwork for future innovations. As an individual, I want to leave my mark on the world,as a mechanical engineer, and hope to do so at the Carnegie Institute for Technology. Not only does CIT have one of the best undergraduate programs for mechanical engineering, but its Mechanical Engineering Accelerated Graduated Program would allow me to get a masters in mechanical engineering in just five years, saving time and jump-starting my career.

Prior to switching high school, I had spent much of my time involved in visual arts, taking numerous classes and winning a scholarship at the Glassell School of Art.

As I entered high school, it became necessary to to prioritize more advanced courses that focused on science and math, and contributed towards engineering. As a result, I was able to devote far less time to creative and artistic pursuits. What I didn't realize at the time was that engineering is as much an art as it is a science. An engineer is a multi-faceted being, required not only to have sufficient knowledge, but to design and flesh out projects, combining creativity and knowledge so solve problems and drive innovation. Carnegie mellon University prides itself on bringing together science and the arts, allowing students to include both as part of their education instead of being limited to only one. Among these is the university's Bachelors of Science and Arts program, which would allow me to continue to pursue science, while finding the artistic fulfillment I had missed in high school.

Among Carnegie University's main strengths is the balance between specialization and well-roundedness. Though the University possesses of highly focused science and engineering courses, it stands out for its numerous interdisciplinary programs and opportunities. As a student at Carnegie, I would not be limited to my major, but be able to explore and dabble in courses like philosophy or european history.

In addition, Carnegie is home to the Robotics Institute--one of the world's leading research and education centers for robotics,Having worked as part of the Kryptonite Robotics, a team which has placed nationally in the past 4 years, i am interested in the opportunity to pursue robotics in

college.

Born and raised in Moscow, Russia, I grew to enjoy life in the city. Living in Houston, I was never able to connect with surroundings the way I did in Moscow. Though large, Houston is relatively young. It lacks that cultural tangibility-that smell, feeling and intricacy of a city that makes places like Moscow and Pittsburgh so interesting to explore. Attending CMU would allow me to reunite with the cold climate and city life that I have so longed for, and allow me to take advantage of the numerous internship and job opportunities in the thriving city of Pittsburgh.

Actually need to trim this essay by a little bit as it doesnt quite fit on a page. Somewhat worried that I haven't spoken enough about the school and too much about myself

Thanks in advance-any an and all advice is greatly appreciated.

Undergraduate / Self Expression; Rice Main Essay- Influence and unique Perspective [3]

"The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Most applicants are able to respond successfully in two to three double-spaced pages.)"

Does the following essay adequately answer the prompt?
If not, how could I modify it to do so?

I am an artist.
When I was seven years old, my parents moved from Russia to The United States in search of a better future. With my parents working, little understanding of English, and no way to connect with my peers, my life left a lot of spaces for my imagination to fill in. Pencil, pastels and paint unfolded on paper as imagined planets, creatures, and machines. Stories and descriptions of imagined worlds and their inhabitants consumed the pages of my sketchbook.Over time, art evolved from a past-time to a talent and devotion, remaining a central part of my life even among other tasks and activities.

However, art alone could not be the defining aspect of my childhood. Mathematics proved a complement to my frustration with language. Math was direct, governed by a straightforward set of rules, in comparison to the random and arbitrary tendencies of language. Throughout school, I would study English, Spanish, and French, but the universal language of math remained the same across all of them. Understanding a previously foreign concept brought a feeling of satisfaction, and with it, a desire for more.

As I entered high school and college began to approach, problems with language had long faded, replaced by an entirely different challenge. While I was committed to art, it seemed to offer little in terms of a future compared to more "serious" professions.The idylls and contentment of primary school were replaced with discussions of college majors and careers, and art classes were displaced by more science and mathematics.How was it, that over a few short years I was supposed to choose among a myriad of possibilities for a future, and decide what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? At the time, art and mathematics in regards to a career appeared fundamentally incompatible. Two different paths with no in-betweens and nothing in common.

It was not until third period physics when all that changed. Beneath all the formulas and principles, physics presented a mind-blowing idea. The universe, from the ticking of clocks to the spinning of planets, could be summed up in a series of mathematical equations. At it's best, physics brought mathematics off the page and into the physical world. In building cannons, catapults, and boats, third period physics forced me to take all the knowledge I have accumulated and apply it to real tasks and challenges. But what was even more fascinating was the amount of creativity that was offered. For each given task, there could be an infinite number of approaches. Working as a member of the Cryptonite robotics team took this to the next level, combining mathematics, materials, and ingenuity to construct a robot to compete against over two thousand other teams across the United States.

I am an artist, and though I seldom pick up a canvas or brush, I have found my artistic fulfillment elsewhere. To me, engineering and mechanical design is more than a problem with a solution, it is a means of self-expression.

Undergraduate / My life in the United States began with Rice University; Rice Supp-Why Rice? [2]

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific
My life in the united States began with Rice University. In 1999, my father was completing his PhD at Moscow State University. Soon after, my father accepted a job offer for a post-doc position at Rice university, fulfilling his dream of moving to the U.S., and completely altering the course of my future.

With both parents working long hours, I ended up spending part of my time with my father at Rice, sitting beside the computer and in the corner of the lab while he worked. Looking out around the lab, I was filled with a sense of wonder by all the strange drawings and equipment.

During junior high, my friends and I would spend long hours wandering around the outskirts of Rice Campus, meandering around the lane of azalea bushes, and discovering the mango tree in the corner of campus.

Today, Rice has become a goal. A top tier university with an amazing engineering program. A place that has maintained presence in my life, and where I hope to continue my future.

Still have 30 words I can use. Not sure if some of the things I wrote early on are un-necessary, or if I need to add more to the end.

Thanks in advance ^^