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Posts by temptprovidence
Joined: Feb 22, 2013
Last Post: Nov 16, 2014
Threads: 8
Posts: 163  
Likes: 35
From: pakistan

Displayed posts: 171 / page 5 of 5
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temptprovidence   
Aug 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / Sharing wealth between rich and poorer nations [2]

It is not secret that in the modern world countries became more integrated and connected.

no more a secret... have become..

First of all from my point of view it is should not be a subject of question that countries should help or not.

Because if the day after day gap between wealthy and poor is going to enlarge, soon or late wealthy countries will feel the drawbacks of this enlarged gap.

as the ever increasing gap between the rich and the poor is enlarging its prospects, sooner or later, wealthy countries are going to condemn the effects of the drawbacks of the gap

They created Somali pirates and started attacking ships and killing people and bringing about serious problems fora other countries too

Secondly, I think that this help should not be limited only with food and education

to..

Today is health is one of the major problems

This is not a dangerous percentage only for a ] Africa, it is also threat for the whole world. Because infected people travel to other countries, people from different countries keep in touch and as a result HIV spreads everywhere.

In sum I conclude that if wealthy nations

summing up..

But wealthy nations should teach them fishing not to fish for poorer nations.

rather

you need to improve a great deal. not to be critical :) BEST OF LUCK!!
temptprovidence   
Aug 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / FOOD STANDS Vs EATING AT HOME ; I support the latter! [4]

you presented your views well. i had only a bit problem with this although it is correct as well...!

Let me give you my reasons.

you can replace it with...there are certain reasons for this point of view of mine.
BEST OF LUCK!!
temptprovidence   
Aug 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / 'Climate change'; Some believe that the Earth is being harmed by human activity [3]

In my
opinion, however, the bad influences are outweighed the good.

have..

... environment of animals affecting to the diversity.

thereby affecting..

Because of cutting down of trees for cultivation or personal benefits, tree roots cannot hold... unable to store any more rainwater leading to flood

roots of trees..

Firstly, the toxic materials from factories and residents pollutes the water, air and even the solid.

soil..

Lacking of clean...

.... in recent years that still endangers human life.

Climate changes not only harms human health but also damages the environment of living things

BEST OF LUCK!! :)
temptprovidence   
Aug 11, 2013
Speeches / Introduction Speach for a college freshman [4]

My faily and friends have been behind me in every step I have made towards brightning my future.

besides me.... enlightening...

I know will be finished with my speech about me so that way someone else can hare with us.

this sentence is not conveying the sense. clarify it.

BEST OF LUCK!!
temptprovidence   
Aug 11, 2013
Undergraduate / FAMU's FUTURE FIRST GENERATION STUDENT....HOPEFULLY......ESSAY PROMPT 2 [5]

The novel helped me transfer my thoughts along with other people experiences and create this interesting and mind-blowing story.

people's

This achievement does not only bring happiness to myself but happiness to my family.

do not repeat the wordhappiness ... use alternative words..

BEST OF LUCK!!
temptprovidence   
Aug 11, 2013
Student Talk / Language perfection or precision - does it work? [4]

hahaha.. you are extremely conscious... you care too much about the rules and formalities... all you have to do is to avoid abuse, comment helpfully and write nearest to clarity... this is what all friendly forums ask you to do...!!

writing skills in all perspectives are dealt here... you can state the thing you require to be checked with whatever you want.. such as you can tell thatyou need other helps with more focus on language precision etc...

and everyone will help you out the best way..

try to chose the best category that you choose for your essay! thats all! you help all others and get your improvement even faster! :)
BEST OF LUCK!!

temptprovidence   
Aug 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / Think of the most interesting class you have ever taken. Why did you enjoy this class [5]

The most interesting class I have taken wasperforming art.

art classesis better...

This was my favorite class from the regular academic classes.

among.

Because I know that if I don't concentrate on my studies I will not secure good marks.

...am not going to...

you have used good points. use a little more vocabulary to fill the holes because your grammar was good. BEST OF LUCK!!
temptprovidence   
Nov 16, 2014
Writing Feedback / Should the attendance be mandatory in universities? [5]

Attending to[attending to means to deal with but you must mean here to" attend classes"] the classes may be useful for some students who can learn effectively by hearing whereas there are some students who would prefer learning on their own. Thus, there is no relationship between attendance and performance. Having flexibility in attendance also give[gives] students more chances for attend out-of-class activities such as drama, sport[addetc.at the end or just putandinstead of comma] . Each student is an adult and they[he/she] may have other obligations apart from attending the classes. For instance, some students have to work to pay their studies or have to take care of family at the same time. These incidents happen beyond their control. If a student was forced to attend the classes and he had some other obligations, he would not pay attention subjects during the class. This also effects outputs that he/she gets. Students who don't want to attend cannot be included to the classes by forcing . .

that was all i found grammatically... i would look for other aspects later ;)
BEST OF LUCK:)

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