Writing Feedback / Ielts writing task1 - percentages of population and wealth in world [4]

The bar graph illustrated provides information concerning several regions' population as well as the wealth being distributed by those areas (given in percentages)

If it comes to population, needless to say, China is a foremost country making up a quarter of global population. However, the prosperity of the country accounts for only 4 %. Quite similarly, the percentages of population of India and other Asia pacific are 10 % lower than that of china, but the wealth shares of these two regions is rather similar to Chine's share. While the population proportions of Africa and Latin America comprise 10 and 7 percent of all people in the world, their global wealth is at the same minimum degree as the aforementioned countries.

North America is dominating the list of prosperous countries forming the 35% of global wealth. The second leading area, in terms of money, is Europe whose distribution of money is just 5 % less than that of America. But these two continents' population is distinctive in percentage; America is at 5 %, Europe is at 15%. When it comes to Rich Asia-Pacific, its global wealth exceeds the percentage of population, hence the ratio is 5/15

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Rubbish created by humans today is a worldwide issue! [8]

It's generally agreed that the amount of rubbish created by humans today is a worldwide problem. What do you think are the main causes of this situation? What measures can be used to tackle the problem

It is known that the vast amount of litter produced by mankind is considered to be the main cause of the climate woes, degeneration of maritime zones and environment. Many scientists are concerned how to cope with this problem reducing the number of refuse, albeit, very few of us are inclined to spare a thought to the causes of our actions.

From the point of my view, the majority of rubbish such as bottles and other non-biodegradable materials created by humankind can be seen on the surface of the oceans and seas. Virtually all of the rubbish is released owing to the human consumption, and most of them are non-biodegradable therefore man has no choice but to throw away them into the oceans, however, apart from degenerating the ocean, they debilitate the stability of the marine biodiversity that might be served as a dish to us.

Nevertheless, professional approach when dealing with this issue is remarkably noteworthy in terms of human healthcare and stability of our "blue planet". It is crucial to reduce or avoid incorruptible materials when making products available to the public. Furthermore, paying attention when transporting fossil fuels overseas is also important since acidic substances are considered to be lethal.

In conclusion, if we do our best in every action we do in terms of proficiency, the nature will take care of itself. In addition, we are supposed to recycle the unnecessary wastes, only in these ways, will there be not any ripple effects.

Writing Feedback / Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. [3]

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved.

What are your opinions on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today's modern word, women's opportunities are a lot comparing to what there were in the past.
Some people say that this situation allowed women to do what they deserveto while some believe that it has posed much more problem than it has solved.And I am one of those people who are inclined to limit their power mildly.

Once upon a time, women's rights were significantly limited, and thanks for exemplary decision judged by Institution of Human Rights, women havemuch more freedom of choice hereupon.For instance, in the past, women were not allowed to participate elections because it was believed that women lacked ability of clear thinking. However, everything is remarkably changed; women have the rights to acquire any job position even though women had not had the rights to work for government in the past.

It is also worth mentioning that this situation has ailed some problems in our society and in the environment, and day by day it is becoming challenging to deal with these problems. Women have inadequate time to take of their children and shape their personality that is appropriate to moral issues due to their career they are trying to pursue to support their children by means of money. Furthermore, it is generally known that the vast number of car accidents is being committed by women as a result of their lack of confidence and attention.

In conclusion, women's opportunity should be restricted somehow by the time it produces bad effects in our society.Only when this action is organized, can children have a better future, and there will not be ripple effects.

what score would you give, guys?

Writing Feedback / Ielts essay; in what way the money should be spent. [2]

WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

With all the troubles in the world today, money spent on space exploration is a
complete waste. The money could be better spent on other things.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You should write at least 250 words.

While a huge amount of money is spent on the space exploration which has always been the province of dreamers, some people are struggling to pay enough money to compensate the damages that are the cause of wars, environmental woes, and other issues that are likely to have a negative impact on the health and the lifespan of mankind. Very few of us are inclined to spare a thought of judging the amount of money that is being spent.

From the point of my view, the money could be better spent on other things, to enlighten my personal perspectives there are some rational reasons. Today, millions of people are left with no shelters as a result of the climate changes that are contaminating their health and the quality of their lives. To take Pakistan as an example, the flood is held in there which has caused inestimable damage to the public, annihilating less than a half of the country's area where the destruction is particularly inexhaustible to recover. The disaster in Japan happened in 2011 can also be an example for this issue. I strongly believe that the money ought to be spent on this kind of disasters to balance the environment and the people's lives providing anything else that could help them to be alive.

Albeit, exploring space is considered to be necessary for the sake of predictable bad effects of the outer space. Learning outer space can be fruitful for some reasons associated with climate changes. For instance, predictions of flash floods or upcoming strong winds or extreme temperature changing can be ensured so that the countries try to do something to cope with it. On the other hand, several Appolo missions has been held so far that it can be described as a real activity of squandering money.

In conclusion, I highly recommend to handle the way in which the money is spent in an any planned way can be advantageous if it is intended to save our "blue planet".

20.12.2013 11:05
i don't think the body part 2&conclusion is comprehensive enough to give the main idea of my thoughts. looking forward to your comments!!!

Writing Feedback / IELTS; The Internet Vs Newspapers - Which is more powerful? [4]

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspapers will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Comparing to other channel of broadcasts, Internet is becoming worldwide broadcaster whilst usage of newspapers is due to be diminished .it is anticipated that newspaper will soon be a thing of the past.

Today's modern world, people use internet as a means of broadcaster as it is so convenient to use. What people desire about broadcasts is to read the breaking News in a short time from wherever it is feasible. Advisories derived from internet are so instant that they can be got in a few minutes. Albeit, the newspapers are exception for this kind of celerity: nowadays, any news written in newspapers isn't being considered to be the latest major news as newspaper organizations print their news which has already been released in the Internet. However some people prefer newspapers rather than Internet.

Despite the fact that we have mentioned above, news logged in the newspapers are thought to be much more authentic than that of those written in the Internet. For instance Internet posters create a rumour and make people believe it in order to make money mindlessly. But newspapers, the thing most old people like to read as their usual activity, does not usually support that kind of uncalled-for articles. Hence, the popularity of newspaper will not be dropped on the account of accuracy of the articles the newspapers have.

Finally, relying on the ideas that I have just written, I can conclude that the popularity of the internet may have an impact on the trade of newspapers, but will never ever make newspapers disappear.

"can anyone assess my essay in terms of academic essay?! if so, what score does this essay deserve? "

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Importance of academic and non-academic subjects [5]

With the pressures on today's young people to succeed academically, some people
believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery)
should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on
academic subjects.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Enhancing the quality of academic subject, some people are inclined to exclude the non-academic subjects believing this method would have a good effect on student's life, while some do not want to give much attention to the academics than they give to the non-academic subjects. Experts are supposed to confront with this issue to find what the best clue is.

Today's modern world, people with no academic education are finding the life increasingly difficult to live their life to the fullest as days pass. To help them whilst the life itself needs more academically educated people, non-academic subjects are about to be omitted from syllabus on the account of less stress is put on them. This mechanism would release a fruitful effect. For instance, an academically educated person can help the level of our world lift from down to up, giving wise contentions which results from the studies they are taught.

On the other hand, on the contrary what we have mentioned above, learning non-academic subjects like, cooking, sport, and something like these brings many benefits for students. For instance, students can learn relaxation techniques in order how to manage stress and be healthy that helps them study academics in an easy way. Because attending to physical education classes, students are given a chance to improve their mental and physical health which help them study effectively.

In conclusion, by reconciling both academic and non-academic subjects, consequences would be so productive which help students gain overall development such as achieving their beloved career and the position of well-being.

Is there any specialist here who can assess my essay in terms of Ielts essay?! if so, please, do it?!