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Posts by selmasanchez
Name: Selma Sanchez
Joined: Nov 27, 2013
Last Post: Dec 1, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 17  
Likes: 2
From: United States of America
School: James Bowie High School

Displayed posts: 19
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selmasanchez   
Dec 1, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Improve Turkmenistan' MOTIVATION LETTER for International Business Management degree. [2]

Great job! I think where you said "for as long as I can remember", tell the reader about that first initial moment you found your calling the emotions, everything. Also a minor spelling mistake it's spelled "last month's trip", tell the reader too how exactly "leadership" has become your primary goal, give examples :)
selmasanchez   
Dec 1, 2013
Undergraduate / Certainly I was ashamed; Recount an incident where you experienced failure [5]

I personally do not find anything wrong with your conclusion, I really liked your essay it was heartfelt and it was something everyone can relate to in a way. Keep up the good work! :) I just came up with something, maybe end it off with "what its like in their shoes, before devouring the velvety chocolate." I hope that helped!
selmasanchez   
Dec 1, 2013
Scholarship / [think about the universe] - SAIC Scholarship/Statement of Purpose [2]

Love it! The word "she" balances out so perfectly, the precision and in depth is all there and is said indirectly but so straight forward. Amazing job, it's kind of funny how I integrated the same two objects you did "aura" and "butterflies" in my essay too! Great minds think alike :)
selmasanchez   
Dec 1, 2013
Undergraduate / Brandenburg concertos ;U Texas at Austin - current and future academic+ extra-curricular [2]

Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.
Ones eclat is not gauged by the abundance of concave, cotton filled, tetragonic, currency as it has attributes of possessing a life of its own. Whereas it is evident in one's' moral and ethical principles, as well as the oozing gift of dexterity to illume those encompassing them in an efficacious manner. As I hope to fulfill with grace and intrepidity.

"As it was in the beginning is now, and ever shall be, world without end..." the prayer echoed in the silence. Palpable were the words, my mother's scanty warmth was so visible that macroscopic were the covalently double bonded atoms. That night when her tender kiss lightly feathered my porcelain skin, I concluded that faith towers the abysmal. Not only does it catechize to believe in both the unseen and unknown, but it gives allowance to the daunting, ceaseless contingencies for disillusionment. It beseeches for you to trust and believe in something other than yourself.

As I was evolving with age I never experienced ballet recitals nor piano lessons. For in that span what had indubitable value was safety. Immunity for yourself, in addition to the protection of the ones that share your genetic silhouette. Not construing it as to have been pulverised delusions, although as to embed me on the paradox side of the glass in my memory's museum. With the minor exclusion that the seemingly lustrous valuable, was genuinely my endemic reflection. I saw the human in me.

Quondam introvert butterfly kicking, the epoch when diminuendoing and glissading metamorphosed into an orifice of perpetual freedom. "Take care of him", my parents said. When they departed to their endeavours my home became a sanctuary. Metronomic clangor from outside would ricochet off about our duplex, cyclically. A variation of raspy shouting, deafening sirens, cascading glass crashing onto the pavement and gun shots soared the air. Meanwhile I ventured to put my five year old brother to sleep. At the age of eight my parents registered my brother and I in Martial Arts, for it was vital.

Words verbalize thoughts, and music the harmonious feelings. The Brandenburg concertos were my lullabies, when the only glistening thing in my life was a nightlight. In elementary, music class was a prerequisite. At this time I was still an outcast to society; the preliminary society that is. The fifth grade All City Choir auditions emerged, my pupils gazed across the horizon of the sheet music. My throat ached, I was one minuscule music note away from mutating into a fire-breathing dragon. Seconds away from auditioning: heart pounding, lithium permeated my skull and sensations of the unmentionable dissipated throughout my frame. I was in the illustrious first row of Sopranos. Henceforth I became a staff member of the Lone Star Dispatch newspaper, a cellist in the preeminent Orchestra, and leaped myself in the dance team performing for hordes. Concurring with others, partaking ideals optimism flaring through our auras with one yearning; the final issue of it all.

Dissecting my surroundings with the fleshy saber, thoughts commenced to brush upon the slight curve. I had cultivated particles of confidence, respect, honor, compassion, responsibility, symbiosis and pertinacity in a petri dish; intervals that embossed my soul. Germinating before those who witnessed my emanating from the chrysalis. Facing that same glass from my memory's museum. These peculiarities individually are exceptional, ultimately as a conglomerate creates a versatile more humanistic entity capable of acquiring amaranthine greatness.
selmasanchez   
Nov 29, 2013
Undergraduate / 'Gifting other people' - Topic C lifetime goals etc etc. [5]

It is all great, I have yet to start mine on this topic I feel like it was the hardest! I think at the end you should say how it felt the first time you helped someone in that organization in full details :) What college is it for?
selmasanchez   
Nov 28, 2013
Undergraduate / UC 1&2 The Protagonist/The Medium; Describe the world you come from [3]

Amazing! Your essay and mine have a lot in common, I liked how you went into precision on the details. I think on the second prompt where it states "Can you balance on one leg?" The patient replied by immediately collapsing to the floor. "She's even worse than I thought," she remarked. "Can you reach your toes? Push back against my palm? Walk to the wall and back?" You should say, "She's even worse than I thought" as the patient failed to complete the simplest tasks such as ...." that way it'll be easier for the reader to understand all the commands you asked of her. Overall great esssays! Oh and one more comment, on the last sentence maybe you can say something about how it'll help you improve your own like "to not only save, but also improve the quality of lives as I grow as a person with them" something of that sort, so that they can see how much you've already changed but at the same time what you have yet to accomplish as a person :) Also I have other quick questions, what college is this for? You go to Westlake here in TX? If so, I go to Bowie High School which isn't that far away!
selmasanchez   
Nov 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Watercolor Painting - "Demonstrate Your Character" - UW Essay [4]

Great conclusion! I'm not sure it's required to have examples, but I think you should go for it. Explain about a time you expressed yourself for the first time through the bristles and it'll be perfection :)
selmasanchez   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / Watercolor Painting - "Demonstrate Your Character" - UW Essay [4]

Amazing, I loved every bit of it. Your imagery is on point, fantastic vocabulary choice! On your conclusion just go on about how art surrounds you in a more wholeistic view as a person, the way you think act and every other possible way :)
selmasanchez   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / 'My business to change my community' - personal statement [3]

So unique! I think you should put all the 5 senses not only the sense of smell when the pastry changed your mood, for example say "The light yet rough to the touch savory, gooey peach pastry..." and also explain how people see Watts and how you see it, and what exactly you're trying to improve. I like it a lot who would've known pastries could be a mouthwatering topic of a Personal Statement :)
selmasanchez   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / My family and inspiration - UC FRESHMAN ADMISSIONS WRITING PROMPT 1 [3]

Breathtaking, I loved how it all flowed! I'd just suggest to open up a little bit more on some parts, like for example at the beginning express how you felt when you first saw your dad ill and when talking about your break from reality when being on the computer demonstrate how exactly you feel when on it or what triggered it. Good luck :)
selmasanchez   
Nov 27, 2013
Scholarship / UTSA - Describe an Example of leadership, be sure to describe your actions. [2]

Great! I think you should say "The survey attached to a letter that with the help of... I was named team captain" and go into detail explaining whom the letter was sent to. Also examine and describe how NHS has helped you or what you've learned from being part of it. Open up on how you felt when your parents finally said yes and your feelings when you finally moved in. On the last sentence it's "given", rewrite the sentence "...I am very grateful for the amount of help people have given me over the years; my only mission is to make not only myself proud but my country as well". Overall I loved it! I'm applying for UTSA and UT at Austin too :) Good luck to you!
selmasanchez   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / 'The architecture of designing structures' - Personal Statement Topic B Texas at Austin [7]

The disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells; throbbing minuscule fragments that meant so much. They were the reason for my pain as I watched her, the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who surrendered her dreams for me. As serenity dispersed throughout the infirmary corridor and snatched my beating heart along with it. My surroundings commenced to move about torpidly as my mother's salubrity corroded into oblivion. There remained my essence, as the encounter that changed my being tremendously.

It was an arctic, bittersweet month of November of my young existence which was now at the notable two digit standard, when my parents said, "sit down, there's something we have to tell you" the words dashed into my ears, I transitorily became immobilized, the time that it took me to sit in the dark pulchritudinous leather chair that in reality couldn't support what my soul consisted of as I sat in a black hole grasping towards the terminal seemed incessant.

Having an incredible perpetual source of empathetic self-awareness, maturity for the matter, fortitude and an ample sense of responsibility at a very peculiar age was truthfully what aided me in overcoming such turbulent vicissitude. As I at a young age in a matter of minutes had to become a role model for my brother, a motherless and partially fatherless boy. Partially in the sense that my father had to undertake three jobs to cover my mother's chemotherapy expenses. The mere couple of hours we saw him we savored it, relished in the milliseconds he cradled us in his arms. Our hearts unconsciously elevated into a state of mental blankness. Vacant, ostensibly untouched by agony or misery; for those sheer moments life was at its prime.Until reality set into place, hearts ached and traces of globular formations of clear liquid grazed our porcelain innocent eyes. Living in the public squalor, police sirens became a pulsated shibboleth to our ears.

It did alter me, in incogitable ways. My very own existence magnified by a smooth, crisp, lunular glass. Helped me in seeing the form of life and how precious it unequivocally is, the true meaning on how organisms differentiate from inanimate objects. Into the recherche approach to my existence, where I now find myself clutching every second and morphing it into a spectrum of amaranthine opportunities.

Architecture is something that has always caught my utmost admiration; I find it being the best of both worlds modern technology meets art. Toluca de Lerdo, my sub humid, glacial hometown being the thirty-second most inhabited city in the country of Mexico, was where the foundation of my love for Architecture originated. My grandfather a prestigious civil engineer who worked for the city of Mexico D.F's Treasury was truly whom inspired me, the passion he had for his occupation the richness of it all enraptured me.

The profession of designing structures branches off to the absolute most precise, imaginative yet awe inducting things that compose our world today. Time is never promised; as new ideas and concoctions are devised, the meticulous human mind and its surroundings bloom.

Determination is what sets one apart; mishaps do transpire through the dermis of the raging yet benevolent mind, as resilient hands generate calluses and the thriving nostalgic pain of success rushes through the vessels.
selmasanchez   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / 'being busy and being engaged' - Why Lafayette [4]

I like the Yeezy one better! I feel like that's something not a lot of people can say they've done personally start their own mini business, it sounds great I can see your personality ooze through :) compared to the working out one although it is compelling the sneakerhead one is unique. Maybe beef it up with how you felt when you did your "first transaction"!
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