Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : The Chart in Global Sales of Games Software, CDs and DVD or Video [9]

Would you pleased give me comment for my writing, especially about my grammar

This appearance was presented the global sales in three types creation; games software, DVD/video, CDs in four consecutive years, ended at 2003.

Reviewing in past four years CDs take the highest number of sales. The peak of trade occurs in 2000 nearly 40 billion dollars. Whether we peruse, sales of CDs was declined slightly from 38 billion dollars in 2000 to 32 billion dollars in 2003.

Meanwhile, opposite sales ensue in the other groups. Games software has progressive increase between 2000 and 2003. Inception with the trough at 14 billion dollars sales, this figure improved steadily approach 20 billion dollars in the end year reported. Moreover, DVD/video sales had more double sales than games software in each year reported. Started out at 17 billion dollar in 2000 and subsequently rose annually to reach topmost sales about 31 billion dollars in 2003.

Hence, this data should be best reference to evaluate for reach advance sales. Generally, in over 4 years all of creation seems rose gradually until finishing the period. Even though the number of CDs sales is the highest, sales of DVD/video dramatically become the best progressive. It is because total numbers of sales over 4 years increase beyond 10 billion dollars, whether CDs sales position just among 30-40 billion dollars.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1: Process of Making Chewing Gum [11]

The diagram below shows How chewing gum is made.

Turning to the chart indicates the process of making gum which is the detail steps from melting the raw material to package the product.

First in all, the pieces of gum are poured into a container and are heated until the pieces of gum are melting to be the single form of mass. Moreover, straining of the melting gum is the next step to extract the dough more smoothly. Next, the gum is placed into another container and is added with the flavoring, softeners and sweeteners. This mixture is blended until all of the ingredients are mixed together.

Moving onto the next step the gum is delivered into the different machine which uses rollers to flatten out the gum. When the gum has been thin sheets, they travel to the cutting machine which cuts the gum into rectangular shapes and is broken into the single piece. Finally, the gum comes to along a conveyor belt for packaging process and ready for distribution.

Clearly, the chewing gum process, which has six steps, is connected with each other step in the gum's factory to create the various flavors. A more detailed look at the picture depicts the process of making gum and the ingredients are required.

• 
  
  

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : average annual Gross Domestic Products (GDP) [12]

The graph below shows the average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below

The bar chart belows show about average annual Gross Domestic Products (GDP) growth in a four edge between 1960s-1990s. There are three kind of countries whom take part in this report; Wealthy countries, Globalisers, and non-Globalisers.

In the beginning, let us see the chart movements of wealthy countries. In 1960s, the number of GDP growth about 4,8 percent, and it is become the highest portion in over a 4 years edge. The number was gradually falling in the twenty years forward. Started around 1 percent decreasing, the number of GDP become 3,8 percent in 1970s and falling again to 2,2 % in 1980s period. Then, this condition sharply falling about 2 percent in 1990.

Let us turn into Globalisers GDP growth whom condition contrary different. The GDP number awake about 1,2 percent in 1960s and rising to 2,9 in 1970s period. To look forward, the percentage was increasingly arise year by year. In 1980s the number of GDP is about 3,2 percent then the highest percentage nearest to 5 percent happening in 1990s.

The last group of countries which called Non-globalisers become the last discussion. Start with 2,2 percent in 1960s, the bar chart rolling fluctiative. In the 1970s the number rising become 3,3 percent before decline into 1,8 percent in 1980s. This condition changes in the 1990s, number of Non-globalisers increase again about 1,2 percent.

This is important to view that those of groups have different pattern in each. The Wealthy's countries GDP start with high percentage and then gradually falling in last year reporting. In contrast, Globalisers countries take position from below and rising as highest GDP point of whole groups after 40 years period. The last group have roller coaster pattern, whereas falling and rise in a-4 year period.

To conclude, Globalisers countries has the best GDP movement than others. Nevertheless, both of others groups should be evaluate to improve their GDP in the forward.

P.S Please give me advice for my grammar

•