Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 : About Overweight [2]

Overweight is the main factor of some heath problems including diabetes, high blood pressure, even the heart disease. However, the average weight of populations went up annually in several nations. I think people should change their attitude and treat this problem seriously.

The developing of the world brings a lot of convenient to people, but also produce some negative effect like overweight in our life. For example, the popular of junk foods, more and more fast foods restaurants are set in, which sells deep-fry and high calories meal to customers. Moreover, the improve of technology like video games and internet, many people tend to play games or surf on the website instead of do some outdoor activities in their free time. Furthermore, there are too much building in a small area, people who living there have no place to go when they want to exercise after work.

However, in order to solve this problem, i suggest government should get themselves involved in this issue as soon as possible. Firstly, government should hold some events about heath like Marathon competition, which can improve citizens heath and local finance. Secondly, to build public facilities such as gym, sport centre, sport park. people would love to spend their leisure time when they are free. Finally, increase the tex of fast foods restaurants, government could charge them more because they are selling the unhealthy foods.

To sum up, overweight is a common but not tough problem in this high-tech generation, i believe with government's help, the problem will disappear in few years.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 : About Technology Effect [3]

" Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology."
" In what ways has technology affected the types of relationship people make? "
" Has this become a positive or negative development ? "
( Those below are not my really opinion haha )

As the high developing of technology, people now have a lot of way to communicate with their family, friends, even the strangers. In my opinion, the disadvantages of using technology to communicate far outweigh the advantages

The improve of communicate tools has huge impact on people's life including making friends, shopping, and business. For example, people now are easier to meet new people through the internet, which provide a variety of way to get in touch with people from different countries. Moreover, the habit of shopping also changed dramatically in last several decades, many people tend to buying things by surf on the online shopping store. Similarly, taking a plane to meeting abroad is waste of time and money, a lot of CEO prefer to hold a meeting through webcam, which is much convenient and efficiently.

The explore of internet plays an important role in the world, and change people's social activities. However, there are many adverse impacts of internet. Firstly, people chat with friends by using webcam or message rather than hanging out then stay in a coffee shop. Over-reliance on those tools might cause the disability of communicate face-to-face. Secondly social website also popular in teenage's life such as facebook, wechat, and line. Making strange friends online can be dangerous if people are not careful enough, some people even lost money and got killed when they meet their online friends. Finally, now almost everyone have their own mobile phone, they can surf on internet by using their cellphone. Because of the convenient of cellphone, people always check their facebook or twitter in any time and careless about everything happened surround them.

To sump up, Using technology is a way to communicate with each other, but not the only way. Because the concenient of internet, more and more people are unwilling to go out with friends. I believe people cannot improve their friendship without face-to-face. Therefor, I think how to balance both side is the most important things people should learn.

Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 : About athletes's Income [7]

" Successfai sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions.
Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair. "

It is certainly true that a lot of sports superstars have higher income than others people who works in different field.
However, while there are many jobs are more essential than sports, I do not agree with the idea that athletes make
more money than others is unfair.

Most people can continue their careers after age of 50 such as lawyers, teachers, politicians.
In fact, the average career of professional athletes is very short, for example, almost every basketball players retired
after 40 years old, and professional swimmer's career even shorter than others. As the increase of age, our physical
state will decline even the sportsman, when their bodies can not hold the professional competition anymore, they will
hang up their spike even they just 40 years old. I think that is the main reason of why they earn more money than others.
Another factor cause the booming income is their spirit, like adidas slogan " impossible is nothing ", people can smell
that from the sports professionals who always expand their talents to unlimited. I believe everyone who develop their
talent as possible as they can will succeed in their careers.

However, others people argue with that athletes should not gain more money than those people whose jobs are more
important than sports. I consider the idea is completely wrong, because people can not evaluate the income on it's importance.
Moreover, athletes have good effect to teenage, a lot of athletes come from poor family, they can also encourage children who
living in poor area to chase their dream.

Generally speaking, because of the sort-career, i do not think it is unfair to others people, athletes not only show their talent to
everybody, they also are the great example for next generation who will be our pillars of future.