Writing Feedback / IELTS (Writing 2) - Personality development - Born characteristics Vs Experiences [3]

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.

Which do you consider to be the major influence?

My Attempt:

Personality development is definitely an interesting yet complicated topic to explore. Amongst the heated debates on whether inherited characteristics or life experience is the most critical contributing factor to this development, my personal sentiments are on par with the idea that the great importance of life experience outweighs its counterparts.

Genetic programming, admittedly, plays an important role in shaping one's personality. For instance, unlike his family members, a neighbour of mine is born to be rude and he always fails to take other's feeling into account. Thus, nothing but inherit attributes could explain this development. Nevertheless, this can never undermine the solid correlations between this development and life experience.

By contrast, life experience such as receiving education could instill people with high moral standards and therefore alter one's personality. My young cousin, who was caught by his father for his robbery behaviour as an ample example, rectified his misconduct and develops a high degree of honesty as well as integrity after receiving proper values inculcation. This makes apparent that personality can be changed throughout life lessons.

Further, critical events can also shape one's personality. Jacqueline, another friend of mine, was undoubtedly an extrovert girl whereas hardly could she stop from talking to others even for an hour. However, she was turned to be an introvert person and has refused to communicate with virtually everyone after the death of her parents because of the car accident 2 years before. Thus, critical event is in no doubt being able to alter one's personality abruptly.

To sum up, although inherit characteristic do shape one's personality, the influence on one's personality development by life experiences is obviously outweighs that by its counterparts.

(278 Words)

Desperate for all your comments ! :(

Writing Feedback / How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers? [4]

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing.

What factors contribute to job satisfaction?

How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

My attempt:

Opting for a decent job that a person highly satisfies with demands thoughtful considerations. After looking at such critical contributing factors argued by many scholars as compensation packages, job autonomy and recognition from management, my personal sentiments are on par with the idea that management acknowledgment simulates employees' satisfaction. Such an ideal working environment, unfortunately, is almost non-exist in the reality.

Management recognition of employees is in no doubt a catalyst to job satisfaction. Graphic designers, for instance, greatly desire for receiving motivation given by senior management because their works are thought to be valued. Bankers, who work at Goldman Sachs as ample example, do demand not merely much discretionary bonus, but also recognition from management after closing every big deal. These make apparent that psychological support positively correlates with level of job satisfaction of specific worker.

The aforementioned situations are neither common nor plausible in most organisations due to the fact that fierce competitions are commonplace among employees and that frameworks set by graphic designers in the case of the previous paragraph hinder the creativity of novel advertisements designs. Thus, the management either overlooks the individual's accomplishments of workers as workers are in harsh competitions, or ignores the creativity of works as the existence of stereotyping in the mind of management. Overall level of job satisfaction of employees, therefore, exhibits a drop naturally.

To sum up, although competition among operators and expectation of management could end up with vicious cycle, workers are recommended to by all means draw the eyeball of management by gearing up themselves. Indeed, only a minority of workers but never all of them will win out and satisfy with their jobs finally.

Writing Feedback / It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents. [5]

Debates on whether talent is a precursor to one's success have long been heated. Some content that training alone may make decent sport player or musician, whereas the opponents of this assert that talent is in no doubt an integral part of these careers. From my perspective, the latter preposition is more persuasive due to the fact that most renowned sport people have excellent physiques and that majority of profound musicians are found to be talent since young.

Admittedly, rarely do professional sport players or musician becomes successful without receiving intense training. Beethoven, for instance, went on to find a renowned music teacher to coach his music development. C. Ronaldo, a famous football star, again embodies this idea perfectly considering his persistency in soccer training. Nevertheless, these do not undermines the importance of talent by far.

The fact that the genetic programming of numerous sport players making them to be competitive fortifies the argument that talent is a prerequisite to almost all sport's achievements. The raw talents and physical attributes of C. Ronaldo, as an ample evidence, allow his talent to shine in a different way. On the contrary, disproportion amount of training may discourage a normal child from persistently aspiring for the goal and may make him become a non-shining sport player finally. Apparently, successful sport players are normally talents.

Another equally important point is that talents do also positively correlate with a musician's achievements. Although Beethoven kept practicing his skills, he would never succeed without his sensitivities to music notes and imagination towards music compositions. In contrast, untalented characteristics turn people down. Obviously, many children who are forced to play pianos yet no talent at all become operators of piano instead of musicians. Thus, the argument is again justified.

To sum up, talent opens up child certain avenues for sportsmanship and musicianship, affords child various unprecedented personal growth, and catalyses the success of one's personal development. Children are, therefore, recommended to utilise their talents instead of pushing themselves too much.

This is my first attempt and I am awaiting all your comments, desperately, thanks! :]