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Posts by ieltswriter
Name: ershad ali
Joined: May 22, 2014
Last Post: May 26, 2014
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  

From: Afghanistan
School: saadi

Displayed posts: 9
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ieltswriter   
May 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / ielts: the reason why sports competions has replaced war [6]

Over the past fifty years sport has played an increasingly important role in our society as a substitute for war. therefore the vast amount of money spent on international competitions such as Olympic games can be justified.

The matter whether sport events like Olympic games replaced war in recent decades has triggered hot debates. Some are of the opinion that increasing in proportion of major sport occasions directly related to disappearing of classic wars in the globe. However, others refute it. It is believed that former viewpoint carries more weights. It will be proven by analyzing role of sport in money making as well decreasing tensions.

Firstly, human being by nature like to be superior and amass more money. In the past countries perceived war as the straightest and easiest way to achieve these objectives, so they were engaged in lengthy wars.With time passed, the international situation changed considerably. now, sports competition has brought about a peaceful conditions for competing different people yo win valuable and colorful medals.

Secondly, international sports competition is not just physical contest and winning medals. In fact, it provides a venue for athletes of different countries to get familiar with each others. A valuable opportunity is given for enemy countries to relive tensions and brutality which has damaged the soul of ordinary people of these nations. The athletes of aforementioned countries gave touched a unique opportunity for shaking hands and feeling that they both are human not a warrior.Hence it is quite clear that sports completion provides a situation for developing humanistic emotions between countries especially hostile countries.

In conclusion, due to role of sports occasions in helping people in accumulate more money and creating an friendly space between enemy countries, it can be said that it has been an alternative for war.
ieltswriter   
May 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Mobile Phone and its benefits [4]

i think you should read some samples about different topics available on internet. after you get familiar with these essays you can get an idea how to organize your viewpoints.
ieltswriter   
May 25, 2014
Writing Feedback / ielts: different causes of car accidents and some solutions [6]

It is common today that road accidents has become one the most signifcant factors leading to death of many people.
This essay will elaborate the role of careless drivers, non-resilient veichles and roads conditions in increasing lethal car accidents as well as propose some solutions to cure this human-made catastrophe.

Firstly, most car crashs are caused by careless drivers. respecting driving rules and regulation considrably insure that no accident occur. for example drivers especially those who are unexprienced or uneducated, dont pay enough attention to driving signs, police's command and maximum speed in day and night. this carelessness has been seen in many deadful accidents which is rampant among many drivers.

Secondly, some cars are more vulnerble than others.Most produced goods are made of low-quality materials in order that finished cost of factories would remain at lowest level. However, theses veichles arenot much resilient against huge pressure created in accidents and failed to keep it's owner safe from the danger of death.

Thirdly, physical specifications of roads play an important role. road wide isnot comaptible with traffic volume, as latter increases daily, while widening routes and streets needs huge sume of investment.Besides, winding roads still exists which limits vision range of drivers especially when they drive fast. Moroever, high slopes in mounatainous regions would make it hard to control cars easily.

In conclusion, several factors cause deadful car accidents which can be addresed, careless drivers should be punished and their liscence suspended for long term, producing low-quality veichles should be limited and more budget allocated to road buliding and removing dangeous points.
ieltswriter   
May 25, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Academic - Sales of two companies [6]

I it is better to use words like steadily, till,month,rise less than mentioned in your essay. you should include a variety of vocabulary in your essay.
ieltswriter   
May 24, 2014
Writing Feedback / Shopping is beyond buying goods. It is social interaction with other people. [4]

when it comes to matter of shopping, it has become one of the most prevalent behaviours among

young people in the recent years. Two decaeds ago, fewer youngesters desired to go out for shopping. today, however shopping centres are full of young people more than other generations.This essay will analyze the causes of this phenomenon and will propose some recommendations.

Firstly, In the globalized world, mass consumption is a major message which mass media

convey to people from all walks of life.Media adverisment are constanly trying to prove that

more consumption is a undeniable sign of presigious person in the modern era as well as

tempting indidviduals to buy newly-produced goods and materials as much as possible.

Essentially, Young people spend more time watching tv, surfing the net and reading newspapers

than other generations.It means that they are more exposed to frequent occuring advertisment

encoureging people buying new stuffs. Thus, sentimental youngesters would prefer going shopping

more to satisfy the sense of social reputation.

Secondly, human being by nature would like to show off himslef to other people. This innate force is stronger among youth group and push them to buy and consume goods. For example youngesters try to be trendy and buy new shirt models every month, while adolescents barely follow in fashion clothes, so They go to shopping market less than young people.

Finally, shopping is beyond buying goods. It is social interaction with other people, as youngester would prefer to go shopping with therir freinds. Besides, it provides an opportunity to develope freindship with new people, so they should be encourged to go shopping more.

In conclusion, mss consuption them as well as a natural need drive young people to go shopping more than others, while it carries some social advantages.
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