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Posts by thiet sun
Name: nguyen thiet
Joined: Feb 1, 2015
Last Post: Mar 9, 2016
Threads: 5
Posts: 6  
From: Viet Nam
School: national economics university

Displayed posts: 11
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thiet sun   
Mar 9, 2016
Writing Feedback / Learning an another language offers an insight how people from overseas think and see the world [2]

Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

The vogue of learning foreign languages is taking place popularly all over the world. While I believe that this offers a golden opportunity for learners to gain understanding about the ways of thinking of the others, I also think that we should not make teaching of foreign languages compelled at all primary schools.

On the one hand, there are two main justifications for why learning a new language is useful for development of people's knowledge about the world. Firstly, there is strong correlation between a specific language and a specific culture of a nation; therefore, mastering a new language will provide an overwhelming advantage to gain an insight about inhabitants in that country. Secondly, a specific language relates to a specific history of a nation, so successes in learning a new language are likely to offer ample opportunities in grasping that country's history, in which your horizons about other countries will be broadened.

However, I hold a belief that teaching of foreign languages should not be required at all primary schools. The advocates of this tendency may agree that it would be better to compel children to learn foreign languages since the sooner they learn, the sooner they will master it. This seems to be convincing at first, but it is not supported by the fact that, in rural areas and ethnic monority areas, there are not enough necessary conditions both in resources and materials for teaching foreign languages. Not to mention that, teaching them in maths and literature is more pressing. In Viet Nam, children in H'Mong Ethnic minority need to be taught literature more than any foreign languages because most of them are illiterate.

By the way of conclusion, it is certainly true that knowing a new foreign language will open a bridge helping us to attain more knowledge about different countries. Nonetheless, this is no means that the education of foreign languages have to be commanded in all primary schools.
thiet sun   
Jan 4, 2016
Writing Feedback / The continuous increase of divorce rate concerns many - what are the reasons of this trend? [2]

CAUSES OF DIVORCE

One of the most important phenomena that the worldwide governments are much concerned about is the continuous increase in divorce rate. According to a statistic of World Health Organization in 2013, the divorce rate in the world is 2 percent higher than it is in 2010. The question is what causes this new trend. There are various reasons responsible for this; however, as far as I am concerned, there are five top grounds behind the divorce of marriage.

The first reason for this trend is wrong motives of marriage. In this modern society, many people base their partner choice on money or family reputation of partner, but they will likely feel unhappy after a short period of time living together. This is because they do not have interests, determinations and family background in common. This soon leads to the conflicts and inevitable consequence is the dissolution of marriage.

The second ground seems to be the compelling of family. The compulsion is not good for any thing, and so is marriage life. If people are forced to marry whom they do not have any affection, they will show resentment and negative attitudes toward partners. It is this negative reaction that makes the couple later split. In India, 30 percent of divorced couple are caused by compulsion.

Another key reason for why couple terminate their marriage life is the difference in interest. People who have different interests tend to live with different lifestyles, without sympathy with each other this will result in family conplicts which are precursors for marriage breakup. It is estimated in 2013 in Singapore that family conflicts often come after a year of marriage when they show oppositional interests, and without control they will end their marriage in the next years.

the different levels of demand for sexual life between the couple also play an integral part in marriage failure. According to studies of experts, each person has different demands for sexual life; therefore, if couples, especially young couples, do not understand the sexual rules and sympathize each other, they are likely to show disappointment, even infidelity forward others.

Last but not least, financial crisis in family is a good justification for marriage ending. It is true that financial crises appear in the majority of families, especially in poor countries, leading to conflicts and final outcome is the breaking. In the north of Viet Nam where many ethnic minorities live , 7 percent of couples break due to financial problems.

It is obvious that there is a significant rise in divorce rate in today's world. Although there are various grounds leading to this phenomenon, I personally believe that there are five most basic reasons as showed above. I suggest that every one should be more careful with choosing partner to avoid unexpected divorces.
thiet sun   
Jan 4, 2016
Research Papers / Dancing for a Better Childhood: Dance benefits in children [3]

but there are now studies that conclude that dance injuries are high in professional young dancers only. (Krasnow, Mainwaring, and Kerr 10). Meanwhile, there are several other studies that conclude the positive effects of dance in children. => repetition

Recent has established a close relationship between dance ...

In America, overweight children are a present challenge, one out of three children in the U.S. has this problem, bringing lots of health complications, such as heart decease...

One of the main benefits that dancing makes contribution to children's development is the mental and physical improvement. my suggestion
thiet sun   
Nov 26, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 the quality of life is decreasing [2]

In many big cities in the world, the quality of life is decreasing. What are the causes and solutions for this?
can you please check and evaluate band score of my essay?
The decline in quality of life in individual citizens is becoming one of the most important problems that governments are much concerned about. The aim of this essay is to investigate factors responsible for this issue and put forward a number of the ways to resolve this situation.

The reasons behind the decrease in the quality of life are numerous. The deterioration of environment seems to be the first reason of this issue. It is true that the boom of population and globalization makes environment suffer so much industrial waste and living waste. This causes in the air and river pollution in big cities hence affecting on people's health. For instance, the Red River and To Lich River in Ha Noi is now highly polluted by littering of residents around that rivers, this triggers many diseases for people in Ha Noi. Another important reason which contributes to the reduction of the quality of life in megacity is a huge boom of population. It is the pressure of significant population increase that makes competition in labour market become fiercer and scarcer; therefore, only qualified job hunters can be employed. Consequently, the unemployment rate increases and the salary rank is meager this makes individuals live on tight budget.

A number of measures can be taken in order to reserve the problem of living standard deterioration in today's society. Firstly, governments should come up with more policies to enhance waste collection systems and combine with public media to encourage citizens to reduce littering and contaminating. By doing this, can pollution be declined and public awareness of environment enhanced. Secondly, governments should heavily subsidize every economic sector to create more job opportunities. Having more job opportunities offers will the employment ratio, this is an embodiment of a society with a higher level of living standard.

In conclusion, There are various factors leading to the deterioration of the quality of life has figured out; however, this is no mean that we surrender to this phenomenon because many measures can be taken to tackle this.
thiet sun   
Nov 25, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 - text messages, twittering, emails are destroying our ability to spell and write [3]

here are my comments
1. your task response is good: discuss both positive and negative aspects and give your own opinion
2. I find some academic words in your essay: indispensable,inadequate , inconvenience and some good vocabularies relating to topic
3. However, I think you should pay more attention to spelling and grammar as well.
hope thic can help u
thiet sun   
Nov 25, 2015
Writing Feedback / IELTS task 2 - Space exploration is national pride or international effort [2]

Space exploration is becoming hot issue these days. It more reflects ...

=>my suggestion: one of the hottest issues that many nations are much concerned about is space exploration. while some people believe that this is a good opportunity for countries to attain national pride, others think that this encourages international community to cooperate together. I do completely disagree/disagree with the former/latter.

=>in my opinion, we should show our opinion in introductory paragraph.
thiet sun   
Feb 10, 2015
Writing Feedback / Immigrants shouldn't be responsible for adjusting in their newly adopted country. [2]

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior.

Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, migrating to other countries has become more popular with people than ever before. This needs integration of newcomers into society. While there are some valid arguments to the contrary, I completely concur with the idea that immigrants should be responsible for adjusting to rules of behavior and local customs in their adopted country.

Firstly, it is vitally important that newcomers observe the law of their adopted country for the sake of societal order. It seems to be complicated and extremely dangerous when Vietnamese drive on the different sides of the road with the British in England. Thus, it is very essential for immigrants to reveal the observation of the law of their new country regardless of any differences to laws in their home country. Two further instance, possession of firearm and casino is permitted in some countries but prohibited in others.

Secondly and more importantly, to maintain societal balance and cohesion it is needed for immigrants to respect social norm of their adopted country. There are interest galore in a society with various cultures. Nonetheless, I would contend that people who live in the same culture get united more easily than others live in different cultures. In addition, societal balance can be demolished by the variety of cultures. Therefore, relinquishing the old norm and receiving the new one is a best way for the balance in society.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that migrating to the other countries should be controlled carefully to maintain the balance and unity in each country and immigrants should relinquish their old ways and adapt a new one.
thiet sun   
Feb 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / The development of the Internet consists of many positive impacts. [3]

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive.

What is your opinion on this?


The Internet has brought significantly benefits in recent years. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of this technology has been positive or negative. While some of these changes have affected negatively on the world, I personally believe that the benefits of this technology are far outweigh its drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are some changes lead to negative impacts in the world. Firstly, it is very dangerous for children using Internet without controlling because this can make children to become addicted to the Internet and cause in neglecting their study. Secondly, there maintains some danger of social isolation - a problem occasionally seen in people who spend too much time in front of computer rather than relating to people in real world.

On the other hand, the development of the Internet consists of many positive impacts. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that the way of communication has been revolutionized strongly by the internet. In earlier times, the communication between this country and faraway places was quiet difficult and sophisticated. Nonetheless, it becomes more effective and easier nowadays with the support of useful communication tools. For instance, making online conferences is appropriate with global trade in many other countries. Furthermore, It is reliable that there is a vast amount of free material online. As a consequence of this, the flow of information is becoming extremely convenient these years. For example, if you conduct a research, searching information through accessing on the internet saves much more time than searching in a library.

By way of conclusion, I once again restate my position that the overall impact of this technology has been positive due to its convenience in communication and influence on the flow of information.
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