Graduate / English Essay for graduate school to describe experience with English [2]

Hi all! I am applying to PhD program in the US as an undergraduate. One requirement is to submit an English Essay to describe experience with English. The specific requirement is listed below.

Applicants whose native language is not English are strongly encouraged to upload a one page essay written in English. Pursuing an advanced degree takes enormous effort, exponentially so when the language and culture are not your own.

---------------------------------------------------------

My English skills learning process

---------------------------------------------------------
I started to learn English from age 6, when I entered elementary school. I seem to have some talent in learning a new language because I always excel in English without much effort. Besides high scores in English courses, prizes in English competitions are common in my school years.

I think my main advantage in English is reading and writing because of the years of education and my habit of reading English articles. I began to read English novels from high school. I still remember myself attracted to the magic world of Harry Potter and astonished by the art of speech in pride and prejudice. After entering college, my main access to English changes from English literature to English news and research papers. My physics was taught in English using the textbook Fundamentals of physics by D. Halliday and the assignment and test were all in English. It was the first time I read a science text book written in English. At first, I could not read the book without referring to the dictionary and taking down the notes of translation. However, as I gradually grasped those technical words, reading the textbook became easier and smoother.

As for my speaking and listening, I will partly attribute it to the experience I had as an exchange student in <school name> for two weeks. Being in an English-speaking country, it is still common for Chinese students to gather and talk in Chinese most of the time. However, during the two weeks, I lived with the host family and went to class with the girl in the host family. By chatting with the families on the dining table and discussing with classmates on English classes, I have, more or less, improved my oral English. The longer time I spent in an English-speaking environment was during the summer in 2016 from July to October. I went to <school name> as a student intern in Electrical and Computer Engineering Department. At the weekly group meeting, I presented my research progress in English. In addition, I had a very good time in the lab learning new things from senior who is either native American, Indian or Iranian. It was amazing that after a short time of adapting to the brand-new environment, I could even comfortably chat and joke with Indian students who has strong accent.

I took the TOEFL test in July 2015, and scored 102, the GRE test in May 2016, and scored 326+3.5. Unlike many other students, I only took the two test once for wanting to concentrate more on academic and research work. For pursuing an advanced degree, I believe more importance should be attached to the command of academic English. By reading abundant amount of research papers and reports, as well as writing and revising papers, I get practice in learning, thinking and expressing academically in English.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL:In the busy and crowded world, we should expect people to be polite to others [2]

Hi all! I find it a lovely website.
I am preparing for toefl and hope to receive as much advice as possible.
So please help with my essay. Make corrections for me and grade it out of 5 if you could.
I appreciate your help.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In the busy and crowded world, we should not expect people to be polite to others.

Residing in metropolitan areas, overwhelmed with mounting population, modern people have probably experienced more than once when tapped on the arm or when tapping others with no offence. Some contend that in such busy and crowded world, we should not expect people to be polite to others because nowadays people tend to be less sensitive to discourteousness, in other words, the threshold for reacting to it has changed. However, I firmly disagree with this statement since politeness plays a pivotal role in molding one's character and moral, thus affecting one's social networks. In addition, more often than not, misbehavior can lead to low efficiency or delay certain types of work.

To begin with, good manners become increasingly crucial in socializing with others. One's character is the crux in the formation of likes and dislikes when it comes to social contact. And impoliteness can definitely leave a stain on it, because good manners belong to the basic social intercourse, demonstrating respect in an invisible way to whom one is interacting with. Rudeness, by contrast, clearly displays one's personality defect in lacking fundamental respect to others. Moreover, it leaves an impression of effrontery and insolence, which is a doubtless ruin in relationships. To illustrate, among my high school classmates, there was one who never paid any attention to his manners. Hardly anyone liked him because they felt their esteem offended and their pride injured when talking to him. Consequently, his surliness alienated him from others, both students and teachers. Therefore, to form a normal network with others, one should mind his/her manners.

Additionally, courtesy saves time, ensuring the effectiveness and efficiency in social functioning. Courtesy is the lubricant that reduces friction. Generally, it saves the time that may otherwise be wasted in quarrels and fights. For instance, the actions of the Japanese refugees who waited patiently in long lines to obtain water after the March 2011 earthquake startled people around the world. Had they tried to cut in line, it would certainly taken longer for all to get water, and it could even have given rise to violence. It is obvious that good manners sometimes contribute to the regular running of society.

It is true that in this busy and crowded world, there are inevitable circumstances where people cause inconvenience and discomfort to others, be it intentional or not. Nevertheless, the majority tend to avoid them because etiquette is essential in shaping one's personality and socializing with others. Furthermore, lack of politeness may lead to conflicts which lower the efficiency in the operating of society.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people in the past [2]

Hi all! I find it a lovely website.
I am preparing for toefl and hope to receive as much advice as possible.
So please help with my essay. Make corrections for me and grade it out of 5 if you could.
I appreciate your help.

Since the society is developing fast, do you agree that people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people in the past?

With the rapid pace of society, people today live a life that is unimaginable in the past. Leaving aside other fancy inventions, the Internet alone is an incredible force for good, bringing unlimited information and potential for communication at the tap of a keyboard. However, the fast development has also given rise to problems like invasion of privacy and lack of communication, which significantly affect people's well-being. Therefore, I agree people now are less happy or satisfied with their lives than in the past.

First and foremost, surfing the Internet leaves traces for criminals to follow, thus increasing the risk of privacy infringement. Countless crimes have been reported to relate to information interception, whose victims are millions of netizens all over the world. Needless to say, their information security is being severely challenged, and it is unlikely that they will feel undisturbed about it. To illustrate, the PRISM, also known as US-984XN, had aroused public panic around the world soon after it was revealed. The US government, who was responsible for it, received intense denunciation. No doubt the government's movement has damaged people's happiness to some extent due to the privacy infringement.

On top of that, social network, a seemingly forceful tool that binds people together, actually has a tendency to replace the primitive way of communication, that is, to have a heart-to-heart talk in front of each other. Hence modern people appear to lack real communication, which may result in a low sense of well-being. For instance, nowadays, it is common to see people sitting around a table while looking down at their smart phones, minding their own business, most of whom are probably busy working on their social networks, ignoring people around them. The smart phone addicts are lost in the virtual world and away from the real one, which deprives them of the chance for face-to-face communication. Meanwhile, more than one research suggests that real-life communication is closely connected with one's sense of satisfaction towards life.

It is true that the fast-developing society has brought convenience and efficiency to our lives, saving us the trouble that our ancestors were engaged in. Whereas, the issues of privacy infringement and communication deficiency still lead to low sense of satisfaction. Consider for one's well-being, I would strongly suggest a walk away from the high-tech devices and into the real life.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: children should not only play or study without doing any housework [3]

Hi all! I am new here and I find it a lovely website.
I am preparing for toefl and hope to receive as much advice as possible.
So please help with my essay. Make corrections for me and grade it out of 5 if you could.
I appreciate your help.

Should children only play and study without doing any housework？

When it comes to the problem of educating children, whether children should do housework or not has aroused heated discussion. As far as I'm concerned, requiring children to do housework is beyond doubt a benefit for both the children and the family for it teaches children to be responsible as a family member, equips children with necessary skills for independence and strengthens the family ties. Therefore, children should not only play or study without doing any housework.

Firstly, doing housework is the basic responsibility for a family member, and children is no exception. Children who do housework apart from playing and studying will develop a sense of duty since young, which is essential in forming their character. Most educators agree that training the young's personality should be put at the first place, even before inculcating them with knowledge. So doing housework should be an indispensable part in one's childhood as well as in one's self-perfection.

Secondly, doing housework teaches children the fundamental abilities, which come in handy when they seek independence from their family later in life. The trivial housework, such as washing the dishes, mopping the floor and making the bed, will be an inevitable task confronting them when they live independently. Children who do no housework are likely to struggle when they are finally away from their parents who prepare everything well for them. It is not rare to hear news reporting students lacking basic surviving skills fail in university, however excellent they are academically. There is no denying that the absence of housework in their early life results in that they cannot promptly adapt to their adult life with ease.

Thirdly, children who do housework understands how to share the family burden in the process, thus strengthening the family ties. Take myself as an example, I was a rebel girl in childhood, always causing troubles for my parents. I was told to mind only my study then until one day the teacher assigned a task to do one piece of housework for our families. So I went home volunteering to sweep the floor. Easy as it may seem, I ended up exhausted after finishing the task. Ever since then, I came to be aware of how much my parents are burdened with and gradually restrained my rebellion. It was because of that event that I began to understand the laborious work they do for the family and started to do all I could to alleviate the burden for them. As a result, the family relationship seemed closer.

In a word, children should do housework besides playing and studying. Because it is the basic duty of a family member, an indispensable process to independence and a key to maintain good family relationship.

Writing Feedback / Toefl: professors should spend more time educating rather than researching [2]

I'm preparing for the TOEFL iBT test, here is my essay. Your opinion will be appreciated and valued.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A university is an institution of higher (or tertiary) education and research which grants academic degrees in various subjects and provides both undergraduate education and postgraduate education. And the duty ascribed to university professors includes both teaching undergraduate or graduate and conducting original research in their field of expertise. With the pressure of performance evaluation, professors often face the dilemma of whether to focus more on educating students or doing research. Personally, I attach more significance to the former, considering the main responsibility of a professor, the reputation of university and the benefit of education.

To begin with, the primary responsibility of a professor is to educate, which is also the original intention of establishing a university. Students make up most of the population in the university and they should be given primary concern since most universities position themselves as student-oriented. As for a professor, who works for university, he should follow the university motto and contribute to the educational cause. Therefore, the duty to teach should be put before conducting research.

Furthermore, professors devoting more to educating students will exert a positive impact on the university's reputation, thus attracting more excellent students. As a famous educator said, "The quality of a university is measured most by the kind of student it turns out." Students pay high tuition fees to pursue further education in university, and they are expecting the quality of university education is worth their investment. To exemplify what I mean, look at the statistics provided by a research which shows that university enrollment is highly correlated with the quality of education it provides rather than its research level. In addition, not all students plan to engage in research when they graduate, plenty of whom seek to acquire necessary knowledge and skills demanded for their ideal occupation in college education.

Last but not the least, education has its own lasting benefits which are irreplaceable. Some argue that research discoveries may lead to breakthroughs in certain fields and provide solutions to problems such as cancer treatment or energy crisis, thus it is more valuable than education. However, I contend that education in the long run will prove its value. On the one hand, students who receive high-quality education and special guidance from professors are likely to become future leaders in various industries, including researchers, which has profound influence on the whole society. On the other hand, professors may also benefit from their students when exchanging ideas and get inspiration for their research. The famous physicist Niels Bohr, also known as Nobel Prize winners had taught many students, some of whom later were awarded Nobel Prize as well, which made the University of Copenhagen a holy land for scholars.

In conclusion, I strongly support that university professors should spend more time educating students than doing research because as a primary responsibility of professors, it benefits not only the university for it is a plus to the reputation of university, but also the society for it cultivates talents to become future experts in all fields.

Writing Feedback / Toefl: In the past people ate food that was better for their health than people today. [2]

I'm preparing for the TOEFL iBT test, here is my essay.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Technology has made it possible for people to produce more food, abundant enough to feed the majority. However, the improvement in quantity is not equal to the improvement in quality. What comes along with the advanced technology is the deteriorating environment which made our food more contaminated than before and the chemical substances which made our food less natural than before.

First of all, the pollutant discharged from factories, including sewage disposal and exhaust emission, gradually damages our environment, making the farm land less suitable for breeding and planting than in the past. Thereby, food grown in such environment can cause damage to people's health. For instance, industrial effluent often contains heavy metal, most of which is toxic to human beings. While factories are working to improve their water treatment facility, many of them do not remove all dissolved metals and chemicals, lots of which go into the river, thus contaminating water and soil which is essential in food production, resulting in that the food produced in such place possibly contains the poisonous heavy metal, among which the lead can cause brain and kidney damage, according to the CCHE. It is obvious that the fast development of the manufacture industry has made the potential risk of people eating polluted food higher than in the past.

Next, the chemical substances, such as additives and pesticide, also add to the potential risk to the health of people who eat them. China once witnessed a string of food safety scares including steroid-tainted pork and sauce with the carcinogenic dye Sudan Red. Even without these problems, the additives contained in the processed food is no good to people's health. For example, people who eat processed food in a long term will find themselves lacking the vitamins and fiber essential for basic body-function, which can only be found in natural food that people mainly eat in the past. What's more, some researchers have charged that food additives, considered safe by most people, such as artificial colors, flavors and preservatives, are likely triggers for hyperactive behavior. So we can see that food today has raised more health problems than before.

To summarize, in my opinion, advanced technology does not improve our food quality. On the contrary, it increases the rate of food pollution and risk of health problems. Therefore I believe in the past people ate food that was better for their health than people today.