Posts by Aubreythefruit

Aubreythefruit

Sep 13, 2015

Writing Feedback / Children face up unhealthy lifestyle - youngers tend to do severe modus vivendi [5]

I will help with your essay.

"to do severe modus vivendi which it is a must from guardians and college institutions for finding solutions for this issue. " I would consider rewording this sentence. It is a little confusing.

"Although both of them have an obligation to protect their children. I strongly believe that environment is the main factors influence, so the older have to practice better habit to them." The first period should be changed to a comma. The noun following this comma should be whatever you are addressing has an obligation to protect their children. I would reword the statement you have following your comma. Perhaps this could read, "I believe that although guardians and colleges have obligations to protect their children, the environment is the most influential factor. In order to be a have healthy children, their environment should be modeled for them."

"The main cause of this problem is a poor habit like littering rubbish everywhere, children do not brush the teeth, and they do not wash hands with soap." Keep all your verbs, "poor habit like littering rubbish everywhere, children do not brush the teeth, and they do not wash hands with soap." in the same verb tense. For example, you use "littering, do not brush, and do not wash." Instead use, "litter, do not brush, and do not wash" OR "littering, not brushing, and not washing"

You have multiple habits listed. Therefore, say instead, "the main causes of this problem are poor habits such as..."

" For example, youngsters know there is a bin front of their class, yet they prefer to litter inside one or they are lazy to clean their teeth before sleeping and their hands before eating." You are restating the previous sentence in greater detail. Either delete this sentence, or replace your descriptions in the previous sentence with these.

"Furthermore, they will have a bad attitude if they do that." Do what? You listed three different bad habits in the last sentence, and the reader doesn't know what they do to have a bad attitude. I would replace "if they do that" with a more specific phrase, such as, "if they keep these bad habits." or something along those lines.

"As an education institute, it has to provide hygiene canteens which the food uncontain additive substance than can be dangerous for students." Again, "it" is nonspecific. Do you mean college? High school? Replace the word "it" with whatever "it" is referencing.

"uncontain" is not the word you are trying to use. Perhaps you mean, "contain"

"In result, schoolchild eats unknown content of meal which can affect stomachache and feel dizzy after consuming it. Actually, this can be solved with side of schools suggest the peddlers to sell up nutrition diet." In result is a strange phrase. Instead, try, "as a result,"

"schoolchild" is singular. You mean, "schoolchildren eat meals with unknown content that can give them stomachaches and dizziness."
I do not understand the last sentence. You may want to consider rewording it.

"In conclusion, it must be there is a responsibility from all aspects particularly from parents as the prime someone's responsible and that is supported by better circumstance in school. " the words, "there is a responsibility from all aspects particularly from parents" should simply be "the parents' responsibility"I would consider rewording this sentence to say, "though this is the parents' responsibility, the school should be involved in giving children proper health."

Aubreythefruit

Aug 27, 2015

Undergraduate / Educational and Career Goals: Why I want to be a mechanical engineer [3]

Prompt: Please state educational and career goals and the reason for choosing your major.

As a kid, I loved problems. I loved the idea of a challenge that took me more than a few minutes to contemplate. I was captivated by complex things. There was an exhilaration behind seeing an issue and knowing how to fix it, but it was even more thrilling to solve the problem. In fifth grade, I had an assignment to write my favorite word and why it was my favorite word. The word I chose for this assignment was broken; and my reasoning was that broken things needed to be fixed.

I remember my two favorite childhood toys: my breadboard kit, which was a basic construction base for building electronic circuitry, and my first aid kit. I would spend some of my mornings reading instructions for my breadboard kit and some of the afternoons sticking bandages all over my brothers and cats. As I matured, I started to think that nursing was the perfect fit for me because it focused on repairing medical issues. When I went into my junior year of highschool, my goals were changed drastically.

I started taking pre-calculus and chemistry in junior year, and I loved it. I wanted to learn more and more about the way things worked, so I devoted myself to my studies. Energy seemed to be the most intriguing topic that we covered in chemistry, so I started devouring all the knowledge I could find on the subject. I read online forums about different types of renewable energy. I additionally studied physics during my freetime. The concepts were filled with problems and ways to solve them.

After class one afternoon, my pre-calculus teacher and I were talking about a certain chapter of math. She told me I was the only student in the class to be so excited about challenging homework and asked me what occupation I was considering after graduation. I told her about my plans to be a nurse, and she just smiled and laughed softly. "You'd be a great nurse," She agreed, "But I highly suggest you consider the field of engineering." I had mentally decided that I could never be an engineer because I didn't want to design cars or airplanes, but out of respect for my teacher I agreed. Later that I evening I researched different engineering fields. There were multiples different types of engineering, and most were very broad. I read about civil, chemical, aeronautical, structural, and about ten other kinds branches of the engineering industry, but one in particular stood out to me: mechanical engineering.

Mechanical engineers could work with cars and airplanes, but they weren't limited to just those two subjects. They dealt with hundreds of different practical applications, including energy consumption, transfer, and renewal.

By the end of junior year, I had applied for an engineering internship at Image Engineering Group and started looking into commended college engineering programs. At my summer internship, I learned more about the facets of engineering and the processes they perform to accomplish their job. I saw them solving real-life problems every day for three months, and I didn't want to leave when my last day came.

My goal in life is to solve the problem that has challenged thousands of people for scores of years: energy efficiency. There are so many different ways to conserve energy, and I am interested in designing sustainable, net-zero buildings, which are buildings that use roughly the same amount of energy annually as the amount of renewable energy created on the site. My ultimate goal is to lower energy consumption and preserve the natural world around us. I love the ideas of solar, geothermal, hydropower, and wind energy, and I plan on finding ways to improve upon these incredible ideas.

My academic plans involve dedicating myself to learning everything that I can in college. I will fully dedicate myself to becoming credible and well-versed in mechanical engineering. I will earn a Master's degree in mechanical engineering, pursuing a job where I will devote my time, knowledge, and passion to designing buildings with low energy usage. The best part of this is that the problems to be solved are endless. There will always be new problems, and there will always be another solution to find.

Questions:
1) Do I establish my educational goals well enough?
2) In a previous essay, I was asked to explain how my accomplishments in school would help me achieve my ultimate goals in life. I wrote a lot more about my goals in life in that essay, but I feel like this essay is already pretty cramped. There are 703 words, but the limit is 120 sentences with 80 characters each. (9600 characters, where my essay has 4324 characters.)

3) Should I continue developing anything? Were any of my topics too short/long? Should I limit how much I wrote about a certain subject in my essay to lengthen another?

4) This is a scholarship essay. What could I do to make this essay stand out above others?

THANKS!

Aubreythefruit

Aug 27, 2015

Undergraduate / My Life Along The Railroad [3]

Wow, your essay is incredibly well written! Well done! I can't find any grammatical or spelling errors. Your content is excellent and your story development is amazing. I had to stop reading multiples times because I was easing into simply reading the story rather than looking for issues.

On your thoughts,
1. Unless you have an inspiring, heart-touching reason for why you record your past and take photos, I wouldn't insert that information. If it is emotional and would move the reader toward you, then I would put it in after "before they disappear forever" in your fourth paragraph. This paragraph is talking about how time flies by, and it's where you should talk about recording the past.

2. Your passion for rail fanning is very prominent. Well done!

Good luck!

Aubreythefruit

Aug 27, 2015

Essays / United States Naval Academy Personal Statement - how to start? [5]

1) Why are you interested in the Navy? Was your family in the Navy? Do you like the Navy more than the Marines of the AFA for a certain reason? Do you have any goals after serving in the navy? Without knowing you, it's hard for me to tell you what to write. What do you hope to do in the Navy?

2)Has anyone ever done anything that inspired you to be a better person? Maybe someone who did something selfless for you...? (For me, personally, I would write about a family friend who called me out on one of my bad habits. She asked to speak to me privately, and then asked me why I was being so bitter toward my family. I hadn't realized until I considered my previous actions that evening that I had been so cold and distant. I had been that way for nearly that entire previous year. I struggled to overcome my own personal bitterness, but when I told her that what I was struggling with, she encouraged me to try to be kinder to others. She texted me weekly encouragements and knock-knock jokes to tell people. These corny yet loving gestures inspired me to leave the same impression on other people. Because of her devotion to me in my life, my own character and integrity was improved.) Perhaps this example helps you formulate your own ideas.

Good luck!

Aubreythefruit

Aug 26, 2015

Writing Feedback / An example of my leadership TTU scholarship [2]

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership. Be sure to describe your actions and the actions of those around you and to explain what you accomplished.

Throughout high school, I have led through multiple situations. I served as the president of the National Homeschool Honor Society, which involved organizing meetings community service projects. I taught a class of twenty preschoolers at my church for two years. Even simply hosting parties or Bible studies have involved a lot of planning and leadership. All of these opportunities have shown me that a good leader not only instructs people on what to do, but they also listen to the people they are leading. A good leader needs balanced amounts of passion, patience, confidence, and especially integrity.

The most influential leadership experience that I ever participated in was being on the Riverbend Retreat Camp Program Team. The Program Team was established to promote team spirit for kids at camp by leading music, team games, and team cheers. The Program Team goal was to inspire kids to pour their hearts into everything that they did. For the first couple of days, I lived and breathed team spirit. I was a green team leader; therefore, I was dressed in all green clothes, covered in green face paint, and I even wore a green tutu the size of a barrel. I shouted team chants whenever I had the chance, I slapped high-fives to the kids on my team, and I led the green team during Team Tournaments. During these tournaments, my team and another team would compete to prove which team was better.

I hadn't realized that I was in a position of leadership until I was cheering for a teammate participating in a Team Tournament and the kids surrounding me began cheering with me. Moments after I stopped cheering, so did the kids around me. Our rival teammate starting playing the game and I booed loudly and waved my hands around in objection. My team of campers booed in unison with me. When our teammate won the game, I started howling and clapping for them. Around me, 150 kids clapped and cheered and jumped up and down. As I walked around throughout the crowd, I started thinking about how the kids seemed to be doing what I was doing. Cheering our team's chant, "G-R-E-E-N! That's the team that's gonna win!" I watched the campers to see what would happen. A few kids started to join in, and after a few moments, most of the campers on my team were shouting along with me.

Leadership, as it were, isn't always a conscious quality. We can influence and persuade people unintentionally. This is why integrity is such a valuable characteristic. Someone is always watching what you're doing, whether you realize it or not. You can't always control who follows in your footsteps, but you can ensure that your footsteps are leading down the right path. I learned that by valuing morals, I can lead people effectively and directionally.

Aubreythefruit

Aug 26, 2015

Writing Feedback / Hard work keeps us determined towards our destiny, the luck alone is not enough to succeed. [2]

in your second paragraph, "determined" doesn't feel like the right word.

" It prevents us from being an aimlessness" should be "It prevents us from being aimless,"

"through out" should be "throughout"

" I studied most of my time by carefully planning and utilized each and every time in a proper way" seems a little awkward. I would reword this sentence. (Perhaps, "I carefully managed and planned my time so that every moment was utilized for studying.")

"preparing,I" should have a space between the comma and I.

"continuously worked hard." should be, "worked hard continuously."

"to pray for the luck so that she can get easy questions." should be reworded. (perhaps, "to pray that she would get the easy questions.")

"She was not able to get through it." Through what? I would replace the words, "get through it" with, "pass the test."

"working hard help us" should be "working hard helps us."

In the third paragraph, "procees" should be "process"

"hep" should be "help"

"bussiness" should be "business"

"really" should be "very"

"he came to know that in future he may get some loss in his bussiness." should be reworded. (Perhaps, "he found out he may lose business in the future.")

"relationsips" should be "relationships"

"profit.Thus," needs a space between the period and the next word.

"trusted on" should be, "trusted in"

"cleary shows shows" should be "clearly shows"

In the fourth paragraph, I would replace "in sum," with "in conclusion."

"remains" should be "remain"

Aubreythefruit

Aug 23, 2015

Undergraduate / Apply Texas Essay C, How my Achievements have prepared me for mechanical engineering [3]

Prompt: Considering your lifetime goals, discuss how your current and future academic and extra-curricular activities might help you achieve your goals.

I have been home-schooled since elementary school, and I believe that it has given me the opportunity to work harder at school. I have been able to focus in a less distracting area than public school provides. Falling asleep or texting in class wasn't an option; my teacher was always watching me to make sure I was listening. I learned the value of time-management and setting a schedule to get my homework done. On top of my schoolwork at home, I also joined a co-op. A co-op (short for "cooperation") is a group of homeschooling families who join together to learn from and with one another to enrich each child's education. My co-op has challenged me with rigorous classes and forced me to learn how to set my own schedule.

In junior year, I was intrigued and interested in physics, calculus, chemistry, and anything that involved solving problems. I wanted to find new ways to design buildings to be more energy-efficient. Energy consumption was something that bothered me, and I wanted to learn ways to make buildings more energy friendly. I knew that in order to accomplish my goal, I would have to work hard in school. Throughout high school, all of my class GPAs have been 3.5 or greater. I have taken multiple dual-credit classes that have pushed me to excel. I joined the National Homeschool Honor Society, and later on joined the National Math Honor Society for Homeschoolers. In junior year I was elected as the vice president of the National Homeschool Honor Society, and for my senior year I have been elected as the president of the NHHS. Both of these societies have taught me the value of academic pursuits and the skills that leadership requires.

I had to learn how to balance my homework and my extra-curricular activities when I joined the drama club and sign language club. This has taught me the value of time-management. In the most recent play my drama class performed, I earned the lead role. This honorable role was also accompanied by many extra hours of practice and memorization that have taught me how to work hard in multiple areas of my life simultaneously.

During the summer between my junior and senior years in high school I was an intern at Image Engineering Group. I got to see engineering first-hand through this experience. I was exposed to many different kinds of CAD (computer aided drafting) and I learned about many different things that a mechanical engineer does. All of this further motivated me to study about physics and to learn about how and why things do what they do; and how to make them do what I want them to.

I have learned through high school that perseverance and dedication are extremely valuable traits to have. When I go to college, I will learn even more by persevering and dedicating myself to everything that I do; but I won't stop there. With a degree in mechanical engineering, I will have the capability to continue learning and improving. I will be able to solve problems and truly make our buildings more sustainable.

Aubreythefruit

Aug 23, 2015

Writing Feedback / Computer game destroys traditional game [3]

"be negative development" should be "be a negative development"

"10 hours per day and this drives them" should be "10 hours per day. This drives them"

"addiction for" should be "addicted to"

"in positive side" should be "on the positive side"

"provided" should be "provide"

"screen may" should be "screen that may"

I would avoid starting so many sentences with a word followed by a comma. (For example, On the positive side, ... Besides that, ... However, ... Therefore, ...)

"technology games on computer" should just be "computer games"

"and trendsetter are going" should be removed and replaced with the word "will"

"children's brain, addictive" should be "children's brains, these games are addictive"

"to dire" should be removed.

"have to manage their time in term of preventing" should be "manages their time to prevent"

"do some exercise by playing traditional games and socialize with the environment." should be "by exercising and playing traditional games. They should go outdoors and experience the environment."

Aubreythefruit

Aug 23, 2015

Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Online Games, Good or Bad? [3]

"Grantedly" should just be granted.

You continue using a word and following it by a comma. I would strive for more sentence diversity. (Granted, ... Occasionally, ... Additionally, ... Nonetheless, ...)

"all discussed" is only two reasons. I would either add another reason or change the word "all" to "these good attributes" or something along those lines.

"Firstly ," should be "Firstly,"

The only other problem that I'm really having with this essay is how you keep using a word followed by a comma to start sentences. I would urge you to rewrite the beginnings of your sentences and change up your sentence structures.

Aubreythefruit

Aug 21, 2015

Undergraduate / Apply Texas Essay B-- How my feelings were changed by Personal Interactions [3]

Prompt: Describe a setting in which you have collaborated or interacted with people whose experiences and/or beliefs differ from yours. Address your initial feelings, and how those feelings were or were not changed by this experience.

For most of my life I have lived in the middle-class. The majority of my neighborhood, family, and friends have lived in the middle-class. Ever since I was a little kid, I had more than I needed and I assumed that everyone else had my good fortune. Everyone had enough money for two cars, a house, and a pool in their backyard. In my world, adults complained about people relying on government money to pay bills and buy food. After all, it was simple enough for them to have jobs-- why couldn't homeless people get them too? I remember distinctly when I asked a neighbor why he hated homeless people so much and he responded dryly, "Because they're all bums living off of my tax money."

My perspective was shifted when I went on a mission trip to San Antonio. During the mission trip, I had the unique opportunity to serve and interact with homeless people directly. My church group went down to serve these people dinner and share the gospel with them. I was ambivalent: I still felt like homeless people were lazy and mooching off of other people, but I was also excited to share the message of God's love with them. I kept asking myself, how can I love someone and call them lazy at the same time?

After serving drinks to about a hundred homeless men, women, and children, I joined a table and started talking with the people sitting there. I expected I was going to spread some light for them and show them a world they had never seen before, but instead the opposite happened. They talked to me about their lives and how they arrived where they were that day. Some of them had been fired for unfair reasons and couldn't get jobs because no one wanted to hire them. Some of them had medical issues that prevented them from getting jobs. Some of them couldn't afford nice enough clothes for job interviews. Through all of their stories, I learned that none of them wanted to live dependant on someone else's money. In an evening the looking-glass that I viewed the world through showed me something totally different than ever before.

My feelings toward people living off of government aid changed through this instance. I still believe that homeless people should make every effort to be self-sufficient, but I also believe that some people truly need financial assistance. After all, I was given the best opportunity in life. Why shouldn't everyone else be given the same?

Aubreythefruit

Aug 21, 2015

Undergraduate / GOAL IS TO ENHANCE THE LIVES OF STUDENTS. MUSIC EDUCATION. APPLY TEXAS PROMPT C. [3]

Hey there! I'm writing the same essay and having the same difficulties. Let me see if I can help you out! :)

This is how I'm gonna write out my review:
"Your original sentence. ~~words that need removed~~problems I will address in an itemized list below.words that I am adding because I think they contribute to your sentence. "

I have always believed that I did not chose music arbitrarily. It was a gift that was bestowed unto me that I have been obliged to share with others. Because of this(comma), my lifetime goal is to influence the lives of young adults as a music educator. My involvement in AP classes and extra curricular activities has ~~given me the ability to understand the needs of~~shown me how to understand teensagers struggling to find a balance between schoolwork and their nonscholastic endeavors. ~~While~~ My participation in my high school choir as a Student Conductor and All-State Musician has prepared me ~~with a specific skill set which is necessary in order to enhance the lives of my students~~for a roleas a music educator.

with a specific skill set which is necessary in order to enhance the lives of my students
I'm sensing a pattern as I read your paragraph. You tend to write really eloquently-- but you also have a habit of making run-on sentences. I love the style you used to write this sentence and the previous sentence with, but I also think that these two sentences are very cumbersome. I understand wanting to write with impressive vocabulary and pretty grammar, but these sentences are hard to focus on. I wish you would be a little more straight-forward with them. I summed them both up with very "slap-dash" summaries of what I felt like your sentence was saying. If you want to use what I wrote in italic, feel free; but I would suggest going back through those sentences and seeing how you can best write them so that they read more easily.

That's just my two-cents. ;) Hope this helps you! Good luck in the music industry! :D

Aubreythefruit

Aug 21, 2015

Writing Feedback / Children are less creative than 10 years ago due to technology [4]

Hi! I will try my best to help...
Previously children used to play with toes, cars and table games and it improved their imaginations.
Did you mean toys instead of toes ?

For example, when I did not have some toes to play I used to pretend that pieces of rocks would be a new character and it help me to improve my imagination.

This sentence is very cumbersome. I would write it, "When I did not have any toes (toys?) to play with as a child, I would pretend rocks were action figures. This improved my imagination."

~~On the other hand,~~ nowadays, children are used playing with technologic games that do not push their imagination. Besides that, they are spending more times in social media.

I would just cut out "on the other hand" like above and make nowadays the start of your sentence.
"are used playing" should be just play
"technologic" should be computer (or just say technology instead of "technologic games" and change "that do not" to that does not)

You should say something more along the lines of, "Today's generation of kids is spending more time on social media."

First, I am certain that traditional games that was famous about 10 year ago pushed more the imagination of the child than actual games. When I was young, I used to play table games, play with toes and cars and my sister used to play with dolls.

Why are you saying first? I see later you also say "second." What's the reason for numbering reasons? Are you trying to prove your point? You need a sentence in your starting paragraph that tells the reader "Technology has made kids less creative. Here's why:" and then you may use "first" and "second". Until then, numbering reasons (or even providing reasons) doesn't make sense.

Traditional games that ~~was~~were famous
Are the games only ten years old? You should tell the reader from what generation they're from. For example, if you're talking about "Transformers" you mights say the 1970's.

"pushed the imagination more than today's games do." would work better.
"Actual games?" Are you implying today's games aren't real games? If so, use that. Say in another sentence following this one, "It's like this generation's games aren't even real in comparison to computer games."

I would just say "toys" instead of "table games, toys, and cars". You already told the reader in the first paragraph what you played with as a kid.

For example, I remember when was playing with my toes I would open my imagination and invent some stories and new character to then while I was playing, to clarify, I vividly remmember searching pieces of rocks in order to mount a new character witch I used to call "Rockman".

I would cut out the first part of the sentence and revise it like so:
~~For example, I remember when was playing with my toes I would open my imagination and invent some stories and new character to then while I was playing, to clarify,~~ I vividly remmemberplaying with my toys and searching pieces of rocks in order to mount a new character witch I used to call "Rockman".

The green highlighted words/phrases are errors:
Remmember is spelled remember
Mount should be make
witch should be who
The red highlights in the sentence are phrases that should be added.

Second, nowadays social medias took place of traditional games. Nowadays children want to look more mature than they really are and because of that they are using social media earlier. For instance, I have a cousin who has 13 years old and prefer to be on Facebook than go to the beach. I am sure that going to the beach develops creativity because he would see different landcapes, waves, mountains, and meet people by person as well.

Unless you address the "first and second" issue I talked about above, I would remove the word "second"
"took" should be "take"
Don't reuse the phrase "nowadays". You already established in the previous sentence that you're talking about this day and age.
"instance" should be example.
Ahhhhh, I see. Your first language is Spanish, isn't it? You've done very well so far. Si tengas mas preguntas, envieme un correo electronico a sister_sister_foundation@ .... o envieme una repuesta aquí.

In English, we say "I have a cousin who is 13 years old" not "has 13 years"
Say, "who would be on Facebook than be at the beach."
Instead of " I am sure that going to the beach develops creativity because he would see different landcapes, waves, mountains, and meet people by person as well" say, "Going to the beach, or anywhere outside of the house, develops creativity because you can see different landscapes, waves, and mountains. While there, you can also meet new people."

We can draw the conclusion that traditional games such as table games, toes (or dolls) and cars stimulate much more the imagination, and consequently make children more creativity. Besides that, nowadays children prefer to stay home and communicate with social media than meet people by face to face.

Again, toes instead of toys. I would say, "table games, toys, dolls, and cars"
remove "the" from the phrase, "the imagination."
make children "more creativity" should be "more creative"
The last sentence, "Besides that, nowadays children prefer to stay home and communicate with social media than meet people by face to face." isn't necessary. I would remove it.

There you go! Hasta luego!
Aubrí

Aubreythefruit

Aug 18, 2015

Undergraduate / Riverbend Retreat Camp - Apply Texas B, "Describe a conflict, how you resolved it?" [2]

The prompt is:

Describe a circumstance, obstacle or conflict in your life, and the skills and resources you used to resolve it. Did it change you? If so, how?

One of the most challenging conflicts I have ever experienced in my life was going to Riverbend Retreat Camp as a junior counselor. Not because of the children, nor because of the sweltering summer heat. What made this week-long trip so difficult for me was my fellow junior counselor, Shelby.

From a passing glance, you would have guessed that Shelby and I got along fairly well. We had many similar traits that should have made us compatible-- or so you might think. I came to camp that week with one main goal: to give children an amazing week filled with fun, whereas Shelby only came to camp to accompany her shy younger sister.

This made getting along with one another very difficult. When I was trying to get our group of girls to participate in a game, she was sitting away from our group talking to her younger sister. When I was trying to relax for a moment after corralling our group of girls and leading them to the arts-and-crafts station Shelby told me we needed to go to the lake because her younger sister wanted to go. The most frustrating situation at camp for me was when Shelby gave her sister an entire package of glow sticks when the rest of our group didn't have enough for each girl to have one.

After much consideration, I decided to ask one of our counselor's for her wisdom. Our adults in life can sometimes be the most valuable resources that we take for granted. I explained how I felt and expressed that I wasn't interested in getting Shelby into trouble. She advised me to tell Shelby how I was feeling and try to resolve my frustrations with her. So what did I do that evening? I asked Shelby is we could speak privately.

I confided in Shelby that I was really frustrated with the immature way she had been acting. She admitted that she had been very immature, and told me that what I had seen as "helpful suggestions" were nagging orders and scornful scoldings. After we had taken a few moments to understand one another, we were able to work together better. I gave her more leniency with her sister and she made more effort to help me with our group.

This friction between Shelby and I was soothed by the heart-to-heart that we had shared. I am grateful that I asked our adult counselor for her perspective on the conflict. Without her advice, I know certainly that Shelby and I would have ended up fighting even worse than we had been. Many people believe that conflicts or obstacles in life are inconvenient and have no other purpose than to frustrate you and slow you down. While I believe that these instances are inconvenient and frustrating, I disagree that they have no good benefits. This experience taught me that there is more than one side to every story, and each side is important to learn.

END OF ESSAY. Thank you for your advice!