Posts by akbartaufiq25

akbartaufiq25

Apr 22, 2016

Scholarship / KGSP-Undergraduate Personal Statement; what introduced me to Korean culture and educational system [3]

Hello hyungnari, I found that your essay is a convincing one. The points are successfully delivered in the writing. Still, I found an issue of redundant expression in the sentence: At this point, I have decided to devote my life to ~~allow myself to~~ make a difference in people's lives.

Furthermore, I think that you overused the word "and", you may consider it to split the sentence into two. Thus, I recommend you to use transition signals in your essay.

I went through hardships and I grew through them. KGSP will be my turning point, . ~~and~~Furthermore, I would finally be engaging myself in an endeavor whose aim is to further understand the human mind and to build a bridge between Korea and Philippines, culture and academic-wise.

Keep sharing and writing.

akbartaufiq25

Apr 21, 2016

Writing Feedback / An introductory part of my essay writing practice. [6]

@ichan: Hi Ichan, it's a pleasure for me to know that you are Indonesian too. And thanks for the "ETC" so that I can start to write something new with the ETC (Emergence of Thinking Capacity) :D

@justivy: Hello Ivy, it's a pleasure to read your amazing comments. I would like to ask you if is it possible for me to make this "introductory part" to be an introduction chapter of my upcoming book draft? I'd like to write something about academic writing based on me and my friend's experience. They have lots of problem in writing so probably I can help them through my work.

@cecep: Hi Cecep, it's nice to see that you got new vocabularies from my writing. I am practically in a process of developing my writing so it would be excellent if we share each other regarding our writing.

akbartaufiq25

Apr 19, 2016

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK2:Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success... [3]

I like the opening of your essay which is a paraphrased version of the question. I found an issue regarding the grammar in the sentence: In this essay, I am ~~aim~~aiming at discussing both opinions and giving my own perspective. You may use varieties of transition signal to make your writing better, but do not overuse it. I can give you a score if it is based on the IELTS criteria, but I personally give 7 to your essay. Regards.

akbartaufiq25

Apr 19, 2016

Writing Feedback / An introductory part of my essay writing practice. [6]

Most of college students consider that the academic writing is quite intricate. They must follow some set of rules (such as the content, writing style, writing mechanics, etc) prior to composing the paper. Still, these components are the features in differencing an academic writing to the other types of writing which aim to express one's idea in written form. In addition, paying attention to the characteristics of an academic writing helps you to polish your writing and attracts readers' attention as well. This chapter brings you the insight regarding to the fundamental aspects of an academic writing.

The Exclusive of Academic Writing
Initially, finding several factors of why academic writing was being accused by many to be a complicating process is necessary prior to identifying the characteristics of writing in an academic setting. The nature of academic writing is compelling among the same activities. The point is the freshmen or inexperienced researchers' capability in understanding the academic writing. This consideration is illustrated in the following.

During the first time studying, undergraduate students are often perplexed with a new task or the upgraded version of a usual task they got in the senior high. Back then, a senior high student was given one or two homework by the teacher as the part of classroom activities. The tasks are usually concerned with the topics in a textbook, an unfinished quiz of classroom activities, or even write the continuation of the today's lesson. This was the habit of giving students homework in general. None of these activities are unimportant. It aims to give the students time to review the lesson.

akbartaufiq25

Apr 19, 2016

Writing Feedback / Attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals [5]

Thank you for the comments. Joining this forum is a pleasure to me because I can improve my writing as well as gain deeper insights about grammar. I am still beginner in terms of proofreading,but I'll give my best in giving appropriate comments. I see that you have no issues in task responses and grammar in your writing. In addition to the above suggestions, there is a repetition in these two sentences: "Thus, offices and hospitals should be more careful in selecting the colour that they are going to use to decorate the room.

In conclusion, selecting an appropriate colour for offices and hospitals is crucial due to its tremendous effects to individuals' emotion".
I like your way in delivering the information straight to the point so that the ideas are putted in sequence. Still, I recommend you to be creative in using transition signal. For the lexical sources, how if you use paraphrasing or finding appropriate synonyms using a thesaurus? Hope this helps. Thanks in advance.

akbartaufiq25

Apr 19, 2016

Writing Feedback / Essay about learning languages - English precisely - which is the primary language in many countries [3]

I agree with the above that you have some issues in your writing. I recommend you to simplify your writing. For instance, you may combine the opening sentence with the second one into "There are many people speak English, the international language, in the world". Remember, written language is different with spoken language. Spend your time in reading more academic writing or another written pieces, it is a valuable asset to improve your writing. Glad to help you.

akbartaufiq25

Mar 27, 2016

Writing Feedback / The comparison regarding the number of population in Yemen and Italy between 2000 and 2050 [3]

Thanks for proofreading my post.
It will be better if you put a comma to separate "...in Italy" and "the adults". Hope this helps.

akbartaufiq25

Mar 26, 2016

Writing Feedback / I do really appreciates for all comments and suggestions for my abstract draft. [3]

The issue of paraphrasing as textual borrowing in writing an academic paper draws researcher's attention to explore the paraphrasing skill of six English Department students, Universitas Negeri Gorontalo, specifically in the literature review section of a research proposal. In responds to this concern, a qualitative research will be carried out. Furthermore, the Keck's modified taxonomy of paraphrasing by Badiozaman (2014) will be applied to have an in-depth investigation toward students' paraphrasing skill in the literature review section. The finding revealed that among six students, three out of them are able to execute moderate revision and the other three only produce near copy. This emerges from the difference of these students' paraphrasing output in refers to the aspects in producing a qualified paraphrasing namely the sufficient knowledge of paraphrasing, the capability in analytic reading and its correlation in applying paraphrasing strategy, also the citation mechanic. Therefore, the finding suggests the necessity to expand students' concept about paraphrasing in reviewing literature by improving their skill with guidance from related institutions. Moreover, it is recommended to undertake further research about paraphrasing in wider scope due to investigate some possible issues related to paraphrasing and the other textual borrowing mechanic.