Writing Feedback / The pie charts compare the percentages of different age groups in the population of Yemen and Italy, [9]

The pie charts compare the percentages of different age groups in the population of Yemen and Italy, in 2000 and expectations for 2050.
Children of ages 0-14 accounted for the majority of Yemen's population (approximately 50.1 per cent) in 2000, but their percentage is predicted to fall to 37 per cent by 2050. Surprisingly, this age group made up only a small proportion of Italy's population (about 14.3 per cent) and is expected decline by 2.8 per cent the end of the period in question.

The following age group of people, aged 15 to 59 years, accounted for nearly half of Yemen's population, and they are believed to have a major increase at the end of fifty years. In contrast, the percentage for the same group is expected to decrease dramatically (by nearly 15 per cent) in Italy.

Elderly people, who are over sixty or older, had the lowest percentage in Yemen and are to have a subtle increase, whereas in Italy they are going to grow from roughly a quarter to nearly a half of population.

To sum up, it is clear from the charts that Yemen are going to have more adults in 2050 and Italy is projected to have fewer children.

Writing Feedback / If sports facilities can contribute to people's health or not, has always been a controversial issue [5]

Whether building sports facilities can contribute to people's health has always been a controversial issue. There are valid arguments on both sides which I will consider in this essay.

On the one hand, some people would argue that the construction of sports facilities would need a lot of finance and space, which would be better spent on medical establishments and health research programmes. Obviously, there is no way that sport can help people with extreme cases, such as stroke, or people who are affected with major diseases like HIV and AIDS. As a matter of fact, most mental and internal disorders do not necessarily have a correlation with sport and can only be cured with the help of science and medicine. From a religious point of view, it would be a sin to ignore the ill and focus on sports.

On the other hand, sports facilities would definitely pay off by assisting the majority of population in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Parents who are regularly engaged in sports activities tend to have healthier children. Sports can promote young adults as they would spend most of their physical energy and would less likely be obsessed with sexual emotions. That way it can also prevent earlier sex and reduce the ever-increasing cases of sexual assault. Finally, students who go in for gym are less reported to have ADSD compared to those who do not.

Overall, I believe that the benefits of new sports facilities outweigh their drawbacks. This is as long as more people are aware of their upside.

(257 words) Please give me an estimate score, my exam is soon

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Writing Feedback / In the UK teaching personnel continues to be female-dominated at children's schools. [3]

The bar chart shows the gender distribution of teachers working at various educational institutions in the UK in 2010.
In three of the six kinds of establishments, females outnumbered males. Female teachers made up a particularly high percentage of the teaching staff at schools for the younger generation: nursery pre-school and primary school. The gender gap was significantly large at nursery pre-schools, where there were twenty four times as many female teachers as male ones.

Men and were equally represented at establishments for younger adults: secondary school, college and private training institutions. College was the only place where there were the same numbers of males and females. Male teachers accounted for the majority of staff at universities (roughly 70 per cent).

Overall, the chart shows that in the UK teaching personnel continues to be female-dominated at children's schools. However, male teachers have a significant presence in places that teach the older group of learning community.

(155 words)
Word frequencies: male, female, teacher-5;

I feel pretty redundant. I would appreciate if someone with this experience would give feedback. I can start memorizing synonyms that could be used on practice tests, but I'm not sure that would be of much help during the exam. PS: My test is at the end of this month.

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