Writing Feedback / 'To make concrete. First, we make an amalgam of materials' - IELTS Task 1 Process [4]

The diagrams show the process of making cement which usually used to concrete production. Overall, cement process is more complicated than making concrete.

In the beginning of making cement, we need raw materials (limestone and clay) and it is crunched into powder. After that, it is passed through mixer and rotating heater until becoming lava texture. Next, it is grinded into powder again and packed it.

To make concrete. First, we make an amalgam of materials (15 percent of cement which produced from first diagram, 10 percent of water, 25 percent of sand and 50 percent of gravel which called small stones). After that, we pour into big rotating machine which is called concrete mixer to mix the ingredients of concrete. Finally, it is mixed until smooth and concrete can be used for making a wall.

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Writing Feedback / Elderly people in the British society - bar chart info. [5]

Percentage of population aged 65 and over

In the bar chart shows the information about UK population prediction in 2035 and compared with 1985. Overall, the population predicted increasing rapidly.

In 1985, average population of UK was about 15 percent. Wales was the highest population among part of UK's countries (about 16%) and Northern Ireland was the lowest (about 12.5%). The England population was about 15 percent and Scotland was about 14 percent.

In the future, in 2035, the bar chart predict the population in the UK will grow rapidly. Wales still going the highest population in 2035 (about 26%) and Northern Ireland is still the lowest too (about 26%) but Northern Ireland get huge changes, the population in Northern Ireland grow about 12 percent. Furthermore, England in the future will get lower than Scotland 22.5 percent and 25 percent respectively.

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Writing Feedback / Statistic of births given from women aged 40 until 44 years by numbers of children and years. [3]

Number of children ever born, women aged 40-44 years in Australia

The table provides details about percentages of birth report from woman aged 40 until 44 years by numbers of children and years. Overall, the women who gave birth or not had been considerably plunged.

In 1981, women aged 40-44 years were likely to have 2 children about 29.0%. The highest percentages in 1981 were to have 3 children and 4 children or more. The lowest were to not have any children, one children and two children.

However, 2006 is more likely to have 2 children. The percentage to not have any children, one children and two children were the highest in among years. The lowest were to have 3 children or more. In 1996 had similarity amount with 2006, the highest are same in 2006 but in 1996 is lower than in 2006 and to have 3 children or more is higher than in 2006. In 1986 had same similarity to with 1981.

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Writing Feedback / In the past, people who lived in a small society were peacefully, now they become more selfish [4]

The an advantage and disadvantage of living in small community

In the past, peoples who live with small society are peacefully. But, today they who live in small community become more selfish and do not know others.

There is an advantage of living in small community. The neighbor know each other well, they will have good relationship and sympathy with each other which make them always help each other's problems become lighter. For example, a homeless who live in that village helped by people who had good sympathy. And then the people left homeless live in their house and make the homeless problem lighter.

However, they are a disadvantage too. They only know little about cultures, cultures are very important for people who wanting to study abroad to make some friends there. For example, a boy from small village got a scholarship to study in the UK. When he arrived, he is had difficulty to make some friends.

Living in small society had an advantage. They will know each other and have big relationship and sympathy which make them always help others. In other hand there have a disadvantage too. They only know little about cultures which make them difficult to make some friends when they study abroad.

Writing Feedback / The London museum guest from June 2013 until September [2]

The line graph shows the London museum guest from June 2013 until September. Overall, British museum was most attractive museum in among others. The visitors in British museum were swing from June until the end of period, science and natural history museum decreased slowly, and then, in august to September science and natural history museum increased.

In June 2013, British museum visitors were about 600 guest. Then, in July, British museum grew rapidly nearly 800 visitors. After that, in august, British museum fell down into nearly 500 and, in the last period, British museum increased again nearly 700 visitors.

In the middle of 2013, science and natural history museum visitors were about 400 and 550 respectively. Science museum decreased slowly from June to august but from august to September, science museum grew rapidly and higher than the first period. Natural history decrease dramatically in June to July. In July, natural history museum visitors were constant until the end of period. Natural history science museum grew dramatically into about 450 visitors as high as science museum.

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