Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Iforsa
Name: Sofi Oktaviani
Joined: Jul 19, 2016
Last Post: Oct 28, 2016
Threads: 35
Posts: 54  
Likes: 5
From: Indonesia
School: English Studio

Displayed posts: 89 / page 3 of 3
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
Iforsa   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / What the West's Ancient Droughts Say About Its Future [4]

The article written by Lisa M. Krieger elaborates relating to lesson from california's ancient drought. Most of modern Californians facing frightening question toward the recent dry spell in California. Is the drought caused by an aberration or it could be a signal of mega drought that occurred several decades ago. Scientists have tendency to keep of the related question. According to several evidence that is measured in centuries, however, scientists agree that California is more vulnerable to drought. The most valid evidence is tree rings. The varying widths of the trees represent that a wide range of prejudicial dry spells gripped the west in the late 1500s. Other predominant study lead by Edward Schulman using tree rings in the 1940s found sustained period of low flow in Colorado river. Some scientist believe that megadrought returned in 21 century. Bill Patzert has identified the temperature of Pacific Ocean that contrive a ridge of high pressure over California to Alaska and freezing cold to the eastern United States. As a result, this phenomenon has significant ramifications such as more wildfires, wells go dry, field would go fallow, less water for agriculture, cities and wildlife.

news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/02/140214-drought-california-prehistory-science-climate-san-francisco-2/
Iforsa   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / HOW TO FIX A BROKEN EDUCATION SYSTEM WITHOUT ANY MORE MONEY [3]

when you make summary you don't need to give your own opinion, just make summary from the article/other website that you read/watch and take the important data that you want to explain

It is happen --> pay attention you only need 1 verb in sentence
Education creats creates
Iforsa   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / A smarter, more precise way to think about public health [4]

The presented video lectured by Sue Desmond Hellman highlights information relating to smart way to think about public health. Sue had painful experience which lead her carrier to contrive precision public health. The story begun when she had detected bad effect of her treatment for breast cancer patient. The remedies could not distinguish between the health cell that is needed to preserve and ill cell that are supposed to kill. Subsequently, she found Herceptin to kill the biomarker, and it kept healthy cell alive. Precision medication was the answer to overcome her problem. She broadened horizon by using precision principal to tackle severe disease in several developing countries. She conducted her project by investigating a wide range of women who lost their children before 28 days in Africa due to HIV/AIDS. According to her research, she concluded that staphylococcus aureus is the main cause of HIV/AIDS transference from mothers to her babies. Using penicillin is the effective way to kill precisely the bacterium. Another studied that he did over the last 5 years is to promote early screening for pregnant women. The result showed that number of HIV/AIDS transference declined significantly by using her method.

ted.com/talks/sue_desmond_hellmann_a_smarter_more_precise_way_to_think_about_public_health
Iforsa   
Aug 11, 2016
Writing Feedback / Stem cell brain injections let people walk again after stroke [4]

hii thank you for your feedback but actually i found the same pattern of this sentence "According to recent study, concluded the researcher, result showed" in NEJM so i try to use the pattern when i want to describe about the result of the study
Iforsa   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Stem cell brain injections let people walk again after stroke [4]

newscientist.com/article/2091841-stem-cell-brain-injections-let-people-walk-again-after-stroke/

This article highlights information relating stroke sufferer recovery by injecting stem cell stem. According to recent study, conclude researcher, result showed that participants demonstrated remarkable effect by walking again after receiving injections of stem cell into brains. Subsequently, this method also contribute to enhance communication ability, strength, and motoric ability especially to coordinate their hands. The primary principle of this method had been adapted from 'baby steps' process. Injection used main material called as mesenchymal stem cell. The material was engineered to stimulate secreting of growth factors that contrived connection between brain cell and created new blood vessels to nourish growing brain tissue. The manipulation of stem cell called Notchl, which predominant factor to develop brain in infants. Fruitfulness of stem cell method became overwhelming news for stroke sufferer as main treatment to recovery their ability. Recently, plenty of cell stem researcher develop the further trials to study about the right dose of cell, and the right means of delivery. They also take into account to devote extra evidence.
Iforsa   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Plan to Replant Millions of Trees in Central England Slows Down [2]

hiii eris after read your summary here some suggestion from me
1. it is better for you to pay attention on passive and active statement
which used for another purpose --> which is used for another purpose
It caused by the price of the land is getting higher --> it is caused by the price ...
2. please check the structure for adverbial phrases (verb+adverb)
It is dramatically dropped from 2000s which reached 500 hectares. --> it dropped dramatically
3. please check relative pronouns structure, i think after that we should take verb so,
that increasing forest cover around 6-20%. --> that increase forest cover around.....

please correct me if i wrong ^^
Iforsa   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pandas Get to Know Their Wild Side [8]

Hii riani after i read your summary and also read the website, here suggestion from me :
i think it's better to make your statement clear. i did not get idea about this sentence "The government says that there are several species in china is 1864 species in the wild in 2003". my suggestion according to the website is "the authority reports that in 2014 the number of pandas in the wild is over 17 per cent greater than 2003, amount 1,862 pandas"
Iforsa   
Aug 10, 2016
Writing Feedback / Promising test for pancreatic cancer from a teenager [2]

ted.com/talks/jack_andraka_a_promising_test_for_pancreatic_cancer_from_a_teenager

The presented video in TED.COM lectured by Jack Andraka highlights information relating test for pancreatic cancer from teenager. Jack Andraka is an investor of early pancreatic cancer detection. He interested in pancreatic cancer due to the painful experience. Non-invasive, simple, rapid, sensitive, and inexpensive, for instance, are the main principal procedure used by him to contrive his pancreatic cancer detector. He attempt to figure out amount of proteins that have direct correlation with pancreatic cancer. He found nearly 8,000 proteins in pancreatic cancer. Subsequently, he analyses meticulously to find the biomarker of pancreatic cancer. Eventually, after 4,000 trials he discovered the significant protein for pancreatic cancer. It is extremely small molecule which people called as mesothelin. Mesothelin leads his way to find out profoundly about pancreatic cancer detector. Then he found the predominant factor to make its protein react. Antibody is a molecule which will react with specific molecule. He use that materials to contrive pancreatic cancer test. According to the experience, he conclude that his invention is 168 times faster, over 26,000 less expensive, and over 400 times more sensitive than current standard.

Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳