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Posts by Daniel1998 [Suspended]
Name: Daniel Balici
Joined: Jul 22, 2016
Last Post: Aug 1, 2016
Threads: 4
Posts: 8  
From: Romania
School: Colegiul National "Constantin Diaconovici Loga"

Displayed posts: 12
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Daniel1998   
Jul 30, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS: TASK 1 ACADEMIC MODULE DEGREES GRANTED IN DIFFERENT FIELDS AT THE NATIONAL UNIVERSITY [5]

The charts below show degrees granted in different fields at the National University in the years 1990, 2000 and 2010.

The given pie charts depict data on the changes in the number of degrees granted in 4 different fields of study (Law, Medicine, Business and Computer Science) at the National University in 1990, 2000 and 2010.

Overall, it is clear that initially most degrees were granted in Computer Science and Business, whereas Law accounted for the lowest number of awarded degrees. Subsequently, Computer Science remained the most preferred field, as opposed to Business, which decreased in popularity. Law continued showing the lowest figure in 2000 and 2010.

According to the pie charts, in 1990 30% of the degrees were awarded in Computer Science, and following that the figure increased to 40% and 45% in 2000 and 2010 respectively. Conversely, the number of degrees awarded in Business showed a downward trend: the figure was at 30% in 1990, it decreased by 10% in 2000 and there was a 5% decline in 2010.

With regard to the remaining fields of study, 25% of the degrees were granted to Medical students in both 1990 and 2010, while in the same years 15% were awarded to Law students. In 2000 the figure for degrees granted in Medicine rose by 5% and the one for degrees awarded in Law dropped by 5%.



  • the pie charts
Daniel1998   
Jul 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2.Q.INCREASE AIR TICKET PRICE TO REDUCE AIR TRAFFIC [4]

I have to tell you that this is the best IELTS essay I have read on this website since I created my account. Personally, I did not identified any obvious mistake. I also enjoy your ideas. I think your essay will easily score at least a band 7. Where are you from?

You should avoid writing structures such as "there are, there has been, there is". It is not very academic. I had also used to do that, but eventually I stopped.
Daniel1998   
Jul 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / First trial of IELTS writing test sample (Task 1) before the real IELTS [6]

Hello! Considering that I truly enjoy writing tasks 1 I hope my pieces of advice are going to be useful.
Your piece of writing lacks paragraphs, and this is quite a major issue. I think you complicated yourself when you wrote it and this might be the reason why you couldn't finish the task in 20 minutes. Keep it both simple and academic. You should mandatorily write an overview, either after the introduction or in the last paragraph.

The bar graphs illustrate the data of the activities of graduate ...
I would write this a little bit different.
The bar charts illustrate data on the part-time activities pursued by the graduate and post-graduate students in the UK in 2000.
Daniel1998   
Jul 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS: SHOULD PARENTS HELP CHILDREN WITH THEIR HOMEWORK OR NOT? [5]

Thank you for your words. Actually I spelled correctly "involvement" , you can check the dictionary. I also think that the "mistakes" you underlined are not necessarily grammar mistakes, althought those phrases might sound better the way you suggested. Anyway thank you for your advices once more and I hope you'll improve your IELTS band. I am going to take it on the 13th of August.
Daniel1998   
Jul 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS: SHOULD PARENTS HELP CHILDREN WITH THEIR HOMEWORK OR NOT? [5]

Many parents think that it is good to help children in their homework, but others think parents should not do that and it is their own duty. Discuss both and give your opinion.

As I mentioned before I will be really glad if someone gives me an approximate IELTS band

Parental involvment is considered by some to be beneficial when it comes to children's homework. Nevertheless, others argue that this is detrimental to the children's education and they are the ones responsible for doing their homework on their own. In my opinion, helping youngsters with their homework is useful to some degree, as long as it is not something to be done on a regular basis.

On the one hand, most children do not perform well in all the subjects. They might find it difficult to grasp every single piece of information taught in the class. Furthermore, some teachers employ old-fashioned teaching methods which can be inappropriate for the pupils' age. Lack of interest in certain subjects is also likely to contribute to the youngster's state of bewilderment. All these can make the children feel incapable of doing his or her homework. In this case, the child is bound to ask his parents for assistance, which is perfectly understandable. Most parents are aware of the many requirements that the school teachers have because they were also students at some point in time. Thereby, they empathize with their child and consider that helping them with their homework will only improve the situation and will not cause any harm.

On the other hand, the teaching approach has changed significantly over the last period of time. Consequently, parents' knowledge and solving methods might not correspond to the way subjects are taught today. Helping the children with their homework could get them even more confused. Parents should support children to ask their teachers or classmates questions at school in case they did not understand something related to a particular lesson. Children need to become rather independent so as to solve whatever problem they encounter not only at school, but in life.

To conclude, I have mixed feelings on the matter in question. I strongly believe that children have to pay as much attention as they can during the classes, considering that homework is usually based on what it was taught at school in that day. With regard to the parents, they will ensure that the teaching methods they employ, when helping their child doing his or her homework, are according to those at school, if they want to be helpful.
Daniel1998   
Jul 25, 2016
Writing Feedback / Essay about work/life balance IELTS TASK 2 [4]

Hello. First of all expenditure doesn't have plural form.
I also do not understand the sentence: Many people work in order to earn money to pay their expensive such as the cost of living, mortgage. I think you wanted to use "expenses".

I did not count the words but it seems to me you didn't reach 250 words, which is the minimum number required. You get penalty for being under 250 words.

I think you need to thoroughly revise your essay because there are some serious grammar mistakes. Unfortunately, I hardly see this essay scoring a band 5 at least. Although you used some academic words to emphasize some interesting points, what the IELTS examiners really demand is an essay written correctly in terms of grammar so I advise you to focus on this aspect more.
Daniel1998   
Jul 24, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 essay practice - Population Distribution in two different countries, two different year [4]

Both forecast and forecasted are correct.
I think it is more appropriate to use either elderly people or simply elders
Considering that I have also written many tasks 1, I advise you when it comes to predictions to use structures such as the following ones because they sound very academic:

It is forecast that...
It is predicted that...
It is expected that...

It is anticipated that...
Daniel1998   
Jul 23, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS: VIOLENCE SHOWN ON TV AND IN THE CINEMA MIGHT EXPLAIN YOUNG PEOPLE'S VIOLENT BEHAVIOUR [4]

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree?

I need reassurance that I am on the right path and my essay can score at least a band 6.5 or band 7. Please do not fear to express your opinions. Personally, I do not think this is the best essay I have ever written.


It is commonly believed that some television programs and films playing in the cinema have an extremely violent and inappropriate content, which negatively impacts on youngsters' behaviour. In my opinion, this might be an explanation for the increasing amount of violence occuring in our society today. However, I also think that the poor education the child has received could be a plausible reason for the matter in question.

Going to the cinema is something young people do every now and then in order to spend time with their friends or family, as opposed to watching television, which is part of their daily schedule. Today, many teenagers are addicted to television, which is a serios problem, given the fact that the majority of them are unaware of the effects it can have upon their behaviour. Both the film industry and the television promote characters who are not necessarily evil, but they are constantly involved in the fights. Most youngsters tend to idolize these characters and want to be as powerful as they are. They do not differentiate between reality and fiction anymore. Consequently, they become violent and feel entitled to bully those people whom they consider inferior to them.

The news programs can also affect the way children act. The world is far from being a safe place. For instance, watching news related to wars, crimes or different types of accidents can strongly impact emotionally on children. They might believe that violence is the only alternative to survive and take care of themselves.

On the other hand, the child's wild personality could reflect the family environment he has lived in. A teenager who has benefited from valuable parenting is bound to be able to stick to reality and not imitate everything they see on television or in the cinema. Conversely, one who has lived in a family environment where acts of aggression have been frequent and deemed ordinary is likely to develop ferocious traits.

To conclude, there is no doubt that the programs and films young people watch on television and in the cinema respectively damage their behaviour. I strongly support the idea that measures against this unpleasant phenomenon ought to be taken so that to reduce the amount of violence faced by our society.
Daniel1998   
Jul 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / It is sometimes said that borrowing money from a friend can harm the friendship. Do you agree? [3]

Hello. First of all, thank you for the positive feedback you gave to my essay. I want to ask you, is this essay for IELTS?

You used a good range of vocabulary and I could see a lot of complex phrases in your essay. I really enjoyed your ideas.
I have two remarks to make:
1. Personally I think it sounds better to use "Firstly" and "Secondly ", instead of "First" and"Second" respectively. Although it isn't incorrect I just believe it is more common to use those I mentioned above.

2. In the conclusion, you wrote "quite a beneficial" and I think it is not appropriate to use quite in an essay especially if you wanted it to be an academic one. I would use "rather".
Daniel1998   
Jul 22, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS: WHETHER TRAVELLING AND WORKING ABROAD ARE THE ONLY REASONS TO LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE OR NOT [2]

It is believed that learning a foreign language is beneficial when it comes to travelling or working abroad. Nevertheless, some people claim that learning a foreign language is a good idea for many other reasons.

On the one hand, it is frequently considered by many that being proficient in a widely spoken foreign language adds value to one's CV. Consequently, it significantly increases their chances of getting a well-paying and highly-regarded job in an international company. Bearing in mind that in certain parts of the world the borders have been removed, travelling has never been easier and businesses have been able to expand globally and sign international partnerships. Hence, today, most employers mandatorily require someone who applies for a job in their enterprise to have foreign language skills, whereas others pay their employees foreign language courses so that they acquire a certain level. Also when visiting a foreign country, one who speaks a common worldwide language or the national language of the country can fully take advantage of the experience, because he can communicate with the locals.

On the other hand, no one doubts the fundamental role language has had in human evolution. Language has allowed people to understand one another and develop our planet. A language is an alive historical document which gives clues regarding ancient connections between populations. Furthermore, old words might reflect a way of life, namely the religions, the beliefs, the customs of our ancestors. Studying foreign languages is an interesting area, this explaining why some people have chosen to become grammarians. It is surreal to imagine that a language has so many different words with various pronunciations and spellings.

To conclude, I strongly believe that learning a foreign language is something everyone has to do nowadays no matter what the reasons might be. As much as I agree with the idea that proficiency in foreign languages brings financial satisfaction, I am also aware that without it the existence of most things that make me feel happy would have not been possible anymore. Therefore I cherish foreign languages and I enjoy learning them for other reasons besides travelling or working abroad.

*I am going to take the IELTS in 13th of August. I would be really glad if someone can give an opinion regarding my piece of writing. I would also be thankful if someone could approximate a band for my writing. My aim is to get a band 7 or band 7.5 at least.
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