Posts by Permata92 [Suspended]

Permata92

Aug 15, 2016

Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS part 1 : Average journey time and cost of the transport. [4]

Hi ashelarisa,
I am glad to left my comment in here..there are some corretion from me. I hope this will be helpful for you in your the next writing and i hope you get good score in a real IELTS test.

For IELTS writing task 1. I suggest you to use past tense for the body and make it in three paragraph. Paragraph 1 for parafrase the question (simple present tense), next paragraph called trend (simple present tense) and the last but not least is body (using simple past tense)

The table explains about the average of journey time before and ...

Innitially , Tram has athe biggest improvements that ...

I don't write details correction for you. But i suggest that you understand what i mean. Thank you and keep practice for writing..

Permata92

Aug 15, 2016

Writing Feedback / If You're Trying to Stay on Budget, Stay Off Social Media [3]

Hi Ria!! I have read your essay. There are some grammatical errors but have done corrected for you. I suggest that it is quite good essay. Good Job and good luck for others essay.

Permata92

Aug 12, 2016

Writing Feedback / How Being a Middle Child Affects Your Finances [2]

How Being a Middle Child Affects Your Finances
By : Selvi Permata Groda

Did you know that there is National Middle Child Day? Sadly, many people didn't know that Friday is the important day for your middle child. That's because you were probably too occupied applauding the up-to-date performance of your eldest or coddling the youngest one to pay attention.

Psychologist is mention that the prior of the birth tend to have influence of their personality and characteristic. It can give an effect of their live in the future, for example in their behavior. Middle children have a reputation for being friendly and sociable on the other hand they tend to run from their conflict and looking agreement. In the financial aspect, they need to be main aware to prevent spending their money for their lifestyle. For middle children who come from families of habitually which have poor money managers, this can be even complicated. They are more likely to angry when they get a rejection to get a stuff which is they need from their parent or sibling. An arrogant behavior about money can hurt you when your middle child have attitude like that, but the parents can be able to direct them to be a pay attention of money as a consequence they can set their financial wisely as soon as possible

Permata92

Aug 11, 2016

Writing Feedback / 'How to Explore the Pantanal' - article [2]

HOW TO EXPLORE THE PANTANAL
By: Selvi Permata Groda

The Pantanal is the largest wetland in the world which has over 81.000 square miles. It located in the center of South America that quietly shelters the highest centralization of wildlife in there. It is a part of nation park and UNESCO world Heritage site which considerate a serious region of the world which appraise that more than 1000 species of fish, mammals, birds,amphibians, and reptiles live in this seedbad of biodiversity

This article suggest an advice if you visited to Pantanal. The best time to go there to see mind-boogging concentrations of widlife clustered around water pit in the dry season. The flooded and receding water is speacial among photographers.

Fly into Cuiba and drive 1.5 hours to Pocone to acces the Transpantaneira which became a part of Northern Pantanal and if you want to go to Southern Pantanal, the writer mention to fly into Corumba or Compo Grade after that you can board a riverboat to reach there.

Permata92

Aug 11, 2016

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Writing Task 1 Level of education of Bulgarians planning to leave Bulgaria [3]

Hallo ilmi, i would like to left a comment in your writing practice in IELTS.

Your introduction and trend is great and better for u to continue your writing.

I will give you feedback, you can replace 'between 2002 to 2008' to 'in the past of 6 years between 2002 to 2008'

And for the trend i suggest you to using simple present tense because it is the general data.

For the body, you can put the data by comparing the year or the level of education.

I hope it will help you to improve your writing skill. Please left a comment in my essay. Thank you 😊

Permata92

Aug 11, 2016

Writing Feedback / Pandas Get to Know Their Wild Side - article from National Geographic [9]

Hello azmi...I am very happy to left a comment in your article..

I suggest you that you will better pay attention with the countable and uncountable noun because i saw that several times u take some mistakes in there.

Please left a comment in my article. Thank you 😊

Permata92

Aug 11, 2016

Writing Feedback / Summery article of "Superfood doesn't mean anything, so let's stop using it" [4]

Hi hikuma.. i would like to comment about your essay..

I think that you will better to paraphasing article because it quite simmilar with the article..

In the introduction u dont need using comma after people and u can better put nowadays in the first sentence like that "Nowadays people are easily to believe....." and u can use the complex sentences to make your summarize more interesting for example like that 'one of the Superfood example is Chia seed which is easy to digest when it prepared appropriately.

This is my comment and suggestion to you please left comment too in my post. Thank you ☺

Permata92

Aug 10, 2016

Writing Feedback / Why photo should be more beautiful? [2]

Hi guys..this is my first essay..
Help me to give feedback about grammar in my summarize article from nationalgeographic.com.

Why Photo Should Be 'So much More Than Beautiful'

Ami Vital who is the photographer covers the stories about culture, animals, and global issues with an expedient eye in her project "Through the Lens" series. She want to persuade viewer's emotions while give some information about global issues. The first picture which was important to her is when she went to the West African and planned to stay a couple of weeks to tell story about aftermath of civil war that Africa which the popular country with war and starving problem was not idealized world for safaris and exotic animal. But in her experience is quite different. She got a wonderful picture in her journey which became the dramatic headlines. Even though in the first time, she was shooting film and she didn't know what type of photographs she had created. Since that, she realized that she wanted to spend her life working to highlight our commonalities rather than their differences.

Became a photographer was appropriate occupation for her because she didn't have any plan except working as a photographer. She also said that empathy is the wellspring of creativity and it being the most appreciated possession for her. In the interview with national geographic, She also mention a suggestion for appearing photographer that make it yours, unique, and don't shoot what you believe people are going to like however shoot from your heart and find your own style and passion.

Thanks for your concern.
Best Regards,

Selvi Permata Groda