Writing Feedback / Formal Education for 4 Years Old Children - is it too soon? [3]

It is an inevitable situation that formal education now become such an urge during children's grow up stage. Many people think that parents should be as soon as possible to sent their children into school, while other said that there is no need to force children attend formal education until seven or eight years old. This essay will cover those both point of views and decided what system should be a better alternative for children.

People who stand in argument that children should enter formal education earlier believe that formal education is important to give more learning experiences. When children start their kindergarten stage at four years old, they can be taught by professional teacher and system. Children also learn to survive in new social environment and have interaction with their peers. Earlier formal education such as playgroup or kindergarten will prepare children to settle in study activities routine before they are ready for elementary school.

On the contrary, there are people who believe that children are better to follow formal education while they are reached seven or eight years old. They said that before seven or eight years old, it is rhe curcial time for children to grow up and parents should take full of control. Children needs to more play and learn their closes environment instead of study in class everyday.

All in all, I covered that earlier formal education is much far better for children on account they ought to gain more learning experiences. Although, parents control is still needed during children activities in their early period of grown up.

Writing Feedback / Sydney has more hours on daylight (2.473 hours) and it's more than twice comparing to London (1.180) [3]

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below provide information about the degree level of weather in London, New York and Sydney per month and total time of sunny days for a year which measured by hours. Overall, according to the data, London and New York have similar weather in winter time. Even though London is the city with least hours of sunshine as compared with two others cities.

In months with cold temperature, which started from November, both New York and Sydney are on the same temperatures, these cities were getting colder than previous eight months. They are on around 10 degrees on November, but New York becomes colder by 5 degrees Celsius than London in December. As the opposite, Sydney has very warm weather in November to March, its temperature remain steady around 25 degrees Celsius.

The summer time is peaked on July in London and New York, the latest reached highest temperature during a year on 30 Celsius degree. On the other hand, Sydney on July face its lowest temperature which on more than 15 Celsius degree, less by around 10 degree than in London. Though, Sydney has more hours on daylight (2.473 hours) double that London whose only 1.180 hours of sunny day.

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Writing Feedback / The three diagrams below illustrates the development of West Park Secondary School Area [NEW]

West Park Secondary School map. The building experienced a significant change from 1950 to 2010.

The three diagrams below illustrates the development of West Park Secondary School Area, since it was built in 1950. Overall, we can see from the diagrams that there were several changes in open area, for instance farmland, sport fields and playground.

In 1950, school area located besides residents area with farmland and playground were behind those buildings. For the next thirty years, West Park Secondary School expanded its area by adding car park and science block building at the places where citizens' houses used to be there. In the same years, the sports field had been built next to the playground. Farmland were not exist anymore in 1980.

Three decades later, needs of parking lot were increased and took a whole park of sports field for its expansion. Therefore, place where students play with their peers became narrowed, because of a half of its area had been built for the sports field.

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Writing Feedback / It's not necessary to earn money by children when they are still on parents care [5]

In this industrialization era, many fields of work need to recruit more people to join in work force, including children. Allowing children to have a paid job always comes into debate, some people argue work is necessary as learning arena for children. I do not believe in this statement, using children labour in adult environment could not be put in the right place.

On the side of people who agree, children can acquire new experiences outside school, because it only taught them in theories but lack of practices. In work place, children will deal with different environment, besides that they can learn to be responsible in tasks from people whose more experiences. They will be paid based on their duties and in addition, they can learn to spend money wisely.

However, it is not necessary to earn some money at their earlier ages, because they are still on adult responsibilities to fulfill their needs. Thus, involved in work place which actually considered to adults, will bring children into lack of development in health and intelligence. For example children in developing countries who paid for labour works do not have enough time to study and play with their peers since they are too tired after working all day.

All in all, children have other fields to gain experiences outside formal education instead joining the work forces and let them learn gradually in their normal stage of development.