Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Qaranewlagi52
Name: Nurul Qarama
Joined: Sep 19, 2016
Last Post: Sep 21, 2016
Threads: 4
Posts: 8  
From: Indonesia
School: English studio

Displayed posts: 12
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Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 21, 2016
Writing Feedback / Some people feel happiness if they have buy a luxury car - it's personal satisfaction [2]

Happines is not about related success economic but happines is depends or related for another people,dimensions feel happines someone its different for example "some people feel happines if they have buy a luxury cars, they can take the happines from 'satisfaction' another people for example a children they feel happiness when they buy some candy, only some candy make they happy. so thats happines is a fuzzy concept, different things to many people, to identify different concepts of happines and where applicable split them into their components related consepts are well being,quality of life and flow rishing.
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Before the construction began, the island had merely trees, and there was no any building [5]

Hay rosa, here your suggestions.. hope can help you!

- A pier is placed up right in front of the reception and connected ...
- the right side of the map is free of the constructions butand the trees are still preserved

NOTE : i like your rule writing improve, might u have a few about your overall ( Miss understanding about your overall make your overall refined )
hopefully your skill writing more increased , goodjob! keep writing!
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / History of the first headlamps. In 1831, Horatio Allen founded the track illuminator... [2]

Hay aris, here my suggestion for you, hope it can help you!

- Missunderstanding about your topic first headlamps but in your paragraph almost half the paragraph your told about the historycal maybe better use another unique thema(Historycal about Headlamps) or(Process a journey Electric headlamps for the first time)

- Finally, the invention of electric headlamp facilitated train to travel 24 hours and all climate conditions or maybe better u can use some recourse sentences (Electric headlamps made travel at all hours and in almost all weather possible)

NOTE : your summary is perfect. keep writing!
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / A great deal of the birds carry out the migration in every year [2]

hallo .. i have some suggestions for you, hope can make ur skill writing better

- A great deal of the birds carry out ( A great deal birds carry out)
- the numerous birds travel (...) as the maximum flight time or (just numerous without 'the' better like this)
- The migratory birds have (...) intuitive sense of direction (without 'THE' maybe better like that)

NOTE : - more be a carefful about your topic and your flow and dont use sentence (THE) to much . thankyou and keep writing!
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / BAD EFFECT CLIMATE CRISIS WITH RESOLUTION (SUMMARY TED 1) [2]

Bad effect climate crisis with the resolution

The speaker Mr Algore in video TED talked about climate crisis and the bad effect contrubution global warming, to the audience in Montere California, when FEB 2006. He encouraged about impact,solution,motivation and make some bussines with benefit or profit, by the picture and the diagram, he imagine recapitalized spoke more relax and smooth, so that make audience enjoyed to listen. also he provide information concerning 15 alternative ways to averting the climate crisis and also promote steps to diminish defection,make your design home more friendly environmentaily, and attend transportation without bad air pollution Purchasing green electriciti like a hybrid, carpool and biking, be a green consumer,live a carbon neutral life then use to, make bussines about that with your community then invest to, if u have investment money, become a catalyst for change teach others about the climate crisis, raise awareness by promoting,sent someone to nashville like a slide show in your community,become a politically active speak up contack u elected officials,and make our democracy work,capping and trading and help with the mess persuasion.
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / The historical records notify that the circus (oldest show today) have existed since the ancient era [4]

Hay aris, good summary writing, i like the topic, but i have some suggestions for u, hope it can help you!

- were the most popular sport , while the other (...) like gladiator fight (Sports)
- u can be more carefull about your (flow) make me confusing
- maybe better u can use perfect continues tense , so that make u flow better and directional

thankyou, hope my correct can help you
happy writing. GOODLUCK!
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Writing task 5 : The Development of An Island [3]

Hay aris, i have some suggestion for u.. maybe can make u writing skill better

- ... became more crowded with many new accomodations(Accommodations)
- facilities like restaurant , reception, swimming area, pier, footpath, and vehicle track ... (or better u can add A same like a restaurant)
- Although there are so many new facilities ... (or you can change your sentences 'even,while or other')

Note : good skill writing, just more be careful about your spell, hope ur improve skill better
tankyou. keep writing!
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / EXTREME ENVIRONMENT IN TAKLIMAKAN DESERT FOR PLANt LIFE (SUMMARY TASK 3) [2]

EXTREME ENVIRONMENT IN TAKLIMAKAN DESERT FOR PLANt LIFE
Domination extreme environment almost eighty five percent2 in Sand Dunos make Taklimakan desert become one of extreme desert on earth and then Africa'S SAHARA.Taklimakan desert have three plants for successful the desert, they are most diverse prolific. Populus eupharaticu,tamarix ramasissma and the alhagi sparsifolia, in the vegetation area with unique coping mechanisms, their also help protect their ecosystem by stabilizing sand dunes, preventing erosion,presenting a barrier to sandstorm, and conserving biodiversity.
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / "green movement" - What is Ecotourism ? (Interesting tourism) [6]

Hay haris, here my corrections hopefully can help you for improve your writing

- but also give beneficial(benefit) for local ecology and society
- Ecotourism offers many types of destination(Destinations) like natural destination
- It also seek(seeks) out hotels and tourist companies that hire mainly(main) local staff
- they produce not only a harmfull (harmful) emmisions(emissions) but also many tons of garbage and wastewater

note : more be carefful about your spelling, happy writing!
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Ways of Bird Migration - it has fascinated many observers for centuries. [2]

SUMMARY TASK 2
Ways of Bird Migration


Many tipes and ways of animals for migrate, but bird migration has fascinated observers for centuries. Migration is an excellent example of how nature has responded to the biological imperative for species to evolve. The most common form of bird migration occurs two time in a year during the breeding periode in the spring and the autumn, most bird migration take place between the lower and higher latitudes of the northern hemisphere, an various also most bird migration with another variety some spesies exhibit altitudinal migration their breeding areas are in higher elevations near of the peak mountains, on the other hand most birds fly for a limited periode each day probably about six to eight hours. and Nocturnal migrants those species that travel at night with cues from the stars as their navigation.
Qaranewlagi52   
Sep 19, 2016
Writing Feedback / Fitness membership calculation in 30 years by gender [3]

hay rosa may i help you

- ... a group of people who registered in(may better you change make "a fitness") fitness place within 1970 up to 2000.

- The male group's peaked at 1995 which the membership accumulation showed ...("with a membership" accumulation showed there were 5000 people in the year)

- accumulation showed there were 5000 people in the year( "that" showed 5000 people )

thankyou. happy writing!
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